My father would never want to leave you again, mother,” said Damaris.
My mother smiled. Then she said: “I wonder why the General came?”
“It is because he was passing on his way to Netherby Hall,” said Damaris. “He said so.”
I smiled at my dear innocent sister. She believed everything everyone said.
The next day was Sunday and we were going to Eversleigh to dine, as we always did on Sundays. Although Leigh and my mother had bought the Dower House, they both regarded Eversleigh as their home. I had lived part of my life there and my mother all her life until recently. Damaris had been born there and it was only within the last year or so that Leigh had bought the Dower House. There was a walk of five minutes between the two houses and my grandparents became indignant if we did not call frequently.
I loved Eversleigh, although perhaps Harriet’s Eyot Abbass was more like home to me.
It was dinnertime and we were all at table in the great hall. My grandmother Arabella Eversleigh loved to have us all together. Damaris was a special favourite of hers, in a way that I could never be but my grandfather Carleton had always had a special feeling for He was a most unconventional man, of fiery temper, arrogant obstinate.
I felt especially drawn towards him and I believe he to me. I think he was rather amused by the fact that I was his daughter’s bastard and there was a grudging admiration in him because my mother had
defied conventions and produced me. I liked Grandfather Carleton. I fancied our characters were not dissimilar.
The house had been built in the days of Elizabeth in the E style with a wing on either side of the main great hall. I was attracted by that hall with its rough stone walls and I liked the armoury which adorned it. There was a military tradition in the Eversleigh family. Carleton had only briefly been a soldier; he had stayed home after the Civil War to hold the estates until the Restoration; the part he had played, I had always heard had demanded far more courage than a soldier needed and infinitely more skill; for he had posed as a Roundhead when his sympathies were Royalist in the extreme and so saved Eversleigh for posterity. I could well imagine his doing that. Every time he looked up at the vaulted ceiling with its broad oak beams, every time he glanced at the family tree which had been painted over the great fireplace, he must have reminded himself: If it had not been for my courage and resource during those Commonwealth years all this would have been lost.
Yes, the military history of the family was apparent everywhere. Leigh had been a soldier until recently; my grandmother Arabella’s son by her first marriage was Edwin, the present Lord Eversleigh, and he was away from home now in the army. Jane-a rather colourless female-and their son, Carleton-called Carl to distinguish him from Carleton-lived at Eversleigh, which was indeed Edwin’s, although my grandfather regarded it as his, which was not surprising since he managed the estate for years and had saved it for them in any case. There would not have been an Eversleigh Court but for him. My grandmother’s father had been General Tolworthy who had distinguished himself in the Royalist cause.
I remember that Beau had been in the army for a while. It was during the Monmouth Rebellion, he told me once and had seemed secretly amused by this. Even Carleton himself had been in the army then-on the side of Monmouth. Not that he had been a professional soldier. He had just been fighting for a special cause then.
So we were sure that our guest General Langdon would feel at home in such a household.
At the table on this day were my grandparents, Carleton and
Arabella, Edwin’s wife, Lady Eversleigh, and young Carl; Priscilla, Leigh, myself and Damaris. Also present were our neighbors of Grasslands Manor, Thomas Willerby and his son, Thomas Junior, who was about a year or two younger than I. Thomas Willerby was a widower whose wife had died recently. He was very sad about this, for it had been an exceptionally happy marriage. My mother felt the death of Christabel Willerby deeply, for Christabel had been a governess companion to her before her marriage and remained a good friend. There was another Willerby child at Grasslands-a baby girl. She was probably a year old and had been named Christabel after the mother, who had died bringing her into the world. My mother had made the tragedy hers, and the Willerbys were constant visitors at our house. She had insisted that Christabel come to our nursery for a while until arrangements could be made; and Sally Nullens, our old nurse, and Emily Philpots, who acted as governess to the children for years, were delighted with the arrangements. As for Thomas Willerby, he was so overcome with gratitude towards my mother that his eyes filled with tears almost every time he looked at her. He was a very sentimental man.
Both my grandparents welcomed General Langdon warmly and the conversation at the dinner table for the first fifteen minutes was all about the army.
Then Priscilla said rather pointedly, so I knew that she was giving voice to something which had been occupying her mind for some time: “It seems to me that Enderby Hall should not be left standing idle. It never did a house any good to remain empty.”
“True,” said Thomas, always ready to back her up. “They get damp. Houses need fires and people. They need living in.”
“Such a lovely old house,” said Jane Eversleigh. “Though I don’t
think I should like to live in it. I get the shivers every time I pass by.”
‘Only because you listen to gossip,” said my grandfather. “If this
talk of ghosts hadn’t got around, no one would think of ghosts.”
“Are you interested in ghosts, General Langdon?” I asked.
“I have never seen one,” he said, “and I am inclined to rely on the evidence of my eyes.”
‘Oh, you have no faith,” said Arabella.
‘Seeing is believing,” said the General. “How did the gossip start?
“I think it began when one of the occupiers tried to hang herself. She did not have a long enough rope and was badly injured. She died soon after.”
“Poor woman, what made her do such a thing?”
“Her husband was involved in a plot.”
“The Popish Plot,” said Carl.
“No,” I said, “that was my father. This was the Rye House Plot, wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” said Priscilla, rather uneasily I thought.
“They plotted against the King,” said Carleton. “It was a foolish and criminal thing to do.”
“I cannot understand why people have to do these things,” said Priscilla.
“My dear lady,” said the General, “if they feel something is wrong some men have the urge to put it right.”
“And endanger lives,” said Arabella fiercely.
“Oh, it is all past and done with,” said Carleton. “But that is just how the house got its reputation.”
“I should like to see a nice family settled in,” said my mother. “It is pleasant to have good neighbours.”
She was nervous and Leigh was watching her anxiously. I thought: They have talked about this together. I was sure then that my sister had reported finding me lying on the four-poster; she might even have mentioned that she thought I was talking to someone called Bow.
“It does happen to be my house,” I said. I turned to the General. “It was left to me by my father’s uncle. He was Robert Frinton.”
The General said: “I knew the family. A great tragedy.”
My mother was clenching her hands uneasily. She was very nervous today. It was the General who was making her so.
“There are a few months to go before you can claim possession,” said my grandfather.
“But I don’t doubt that if a sale was arranged it would be approved.”
“I am not sure that I want it sold.”
“Perhaps you like ghosts, Mistress Carlotta,” said the General.
“I should be interested to see one. Shouldn’t you, General?”
“I think it would depend on the ghost,” he replied.
Leigh said: “You should sell it, Carlotta. You’ll never want to live there. But perhaps you could find a tenant and let it.”
I was silent, very much aware of them all. They were tense. I wondered whether the General noticed. For some reason they wanted me to be prevented from going there, wandering through those empty rooms; Damaris must indeed have reported what she had seen and heard, and they would know I was still hoping to find Beau again.
“Think about it,” said my grandfather.
“Do you know, I’ve been pondering in my mind whether or not I won’t give up Grasslands,”
said Thomas Willerby.
“Give up Grasslands, Thomas!” cried my mother. “But why?”
“So many memories,” he said, and there was silence at the table.
After a pause Thomas went on, “Yes, I’ve been thinking it might be easier to go back north. Try to build a new life. That was what I came here for and thanks to you all
... and Christabel ... I had a good one. Perhaps it would be best for me to move on now....”
My mother looked sad, but I could see she was working out a future for him. Let him go and find a new wife ... a new life and perhaps come back then.
“Oh, it’s all in the future,” said Thomas. “There’s a lot to be thought about yet.
But I do believe something should be done about Enderby.”
To stop them talking of Enderby I said that I heard the Lady Elizabeth Villiers was to have the Irish estates of James the Second bestowed on her.
The General’s face went deep red and he murmured, “Monstrous.”
“Let the King please his mistress,” said Carleton. “I’m surprised he has one. I wish him joy of the lady.”
“It is a pity,” said Arabella, “that things turned out as they have. Daughters against their father ...”
“True, my lady,” said the General. “I think Queen Mary must have been deeply troubled by her conscience. As indeed Anne will be if she takes the crown.”
“Not a bit of it,” cried Carleton. “England will not tolerate a “apist King. They got rid of one Papist. James is where he belongs”» exile, that’s where he’ll stay till he dies. And if William should go
? ? ? God forbid that he should, for he’s been a good ruler of this
28country ... then it will be Anne to follow him and she’ll have the support of all those who wish this country well.”
I could see that the General was striving hard to control himself. Leigh looked uncomfortable.
He knew something of the General’s thoughts in these matters and it was typical of my grandfather to state his views and not consider whether he was offending anyone.
“Usurpation of a throne,” said the General in a quiet controlled voice, “often brings sorrow to those who take it.”
“It was hardly that. James was useless. His daughter Mary was next and William was in the line of succession too. I was against him as soon as we heard of his Papist views and I would have put Monmouth on the throne rather than let that Papist rule over us. James was defeated and he’s in exile. Let him stay there.”
“You are vehement, sir,” said the General.
“Are you not, sir?” said Carleton. “I tell you this. I feel strongly about these matters.”
“That much is obvious,” said the General.
Arabella changed the conversation tactfully and we talked of trivial matters such as whether we should have a bad winter, and even that recalled the time when the Thames was frozen and reminded poor Thomas of his meeting with Christabel.
I was rather glad when we went back to the Dower House. The General was silent and I fancied he had not greatly enjoyed his visit to my grandparents.
He and Leigh were alone together that evening and early the next morning the General took his leave of us and left.
My thoughts were occupied by Enderby. J wondered how I should feel if I could no longer go there. New people there would change the place. It would be a different house. Did I want to keep a monument to the lover who had deserted me? Would I be happier if I could no longer go to the house and brood?
It was strange but something had happened to me. An anger had come to me; it soothed my misery a little because it hurt my pride. Could it really be true that he had deliberately gone away, that he had found a richer heiress? That was what they had said. He had borrowed money on the prospects of marriage with me; he was mercenary; he had gone in pursuit of richer game. Someone abroad ... in Paris ... in Venice perhaps. He had always talked a great deal
29
about Venice. He had never pretended that he possessed the honour of a gentleman; he had constantly stressed the fact that he was no saint. “I have a lot of the devil in me, Carlotta,” he had once said. And he made me search in his head to see if horns were sprouting there. “But then that’s what you like,” he said. “Because, let me tell you, Carlotta, there’s a bit of the devil in you.”
What a fool I was to dream that he would come back. It was more than a year now since he had gone. I pictured him living in some strange city-a castle on the Rhine, a palazzo in Italy, a chateau in France-with an heiress who was richer than I was.
And he would laughingly talk about me, for Beau would talk about his mistresses.
He jeered at that code of honour which gentlemen were supposed to respect.
I nursed my anger against him and found it was a kind of balm.
Yes, I thought, why should not Enderby be sold or let? What was the point of keeping a shrine to a false lover?
September had come. In a month’s time I should reach my eighteenth birthday and that would be a very important occasion in my life, for on that day I should receive my inheritance. I would have come of age.
There must be a special celebration, Priscilla declared, and of course my grandparents insisted that it should be held at Eversleigh, which was so much more suitable than the Dower House.
Eversleigh was full of visitors and I knew that Leigh and Priscilla had invited some eligible young men in the hope that I should display some interest in them.
Harriet came with her husband, Gregory, and Benjie. I was happy to see them again.
“We don’t see enough of each other,” was Harriet’s comment. She always amazed me.
She was no longer young but she still retained that marvellous beauty. It was true that she took great Pains to preserve it. Her hair was still dark (“my special concoction,”