The Song Remains the Same (9 page)

Yeah, home was too fuckin’ far away.

But the studio was about halfway…

Kenna

Disappointment sank into my gut like a lodestone as we pulled into the studio’s parking lot.
What the hell?
I was ready to crawl the fuck out of my own skin. Close to saying something incredibly rude, I looked up at him and saw he had his angry face on.

Oh…

Phil grabbed my hand and yanked me out of the truck. Forcing me to walk in front of him, his hand was in the waistband of my baggy jeans, shoving me along.

Sheri was behind her desk when we walked in, and upon seeing us, she stood up, concern written across her pretty features. I felt Phil’s voice saying something to her, and she smiled her megawatt smile. She gave me a thumbs-up, and Phil continued shoving me toward his office. Manhandling me like he used to do, he pushed me over the threshold, and then he shut and locked the door.

This is it! I’m getting laid! Fuck yes!

I was so excited that I had no idea what to do with myself.

Phil stalked up to me and started unbuttoning my jeans before pushing them down with my underwear. I kicked them off along with my flip-flops. Faster than I could blink, he had me up against a wall, fumbling with his own belt buckle and fly.

Yeah
…

I wanted it just like this—hot, hard, and wild. We could make love later. Right now, I was in a frenzy to feel him again. It had been too fucking long.

His groan vibrated through me as the head of him pushed against me.

“Do it!” I said. “Make it hurt, babe.”

Firm and steady, he didn’t want to put the hurtin’ on me just yet.

Phil hit that magic spot, and I felt myself moan. His mouth slammed down on mine, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him in as deep as I could.

“Oh, fuck!
Please
, babe!
Hard!” I begged.

I was filled to the edge of pain, and it felt so good that I was becoming mindless. Just the feel of him riding into me, giving me what I needed, I was in bliss. I could feel him saying something. I missed his filth talk. I wished I could hear him telling me how good I felt, how much he loved to fuck my brains out.

“Harder!” I begged.

He obliged, and his moan reverberated through me.

Then, something weird started to happen. The pressure between my legs increased…and in my
ears
, too. The closer I got to my peak, the more my ears rang. A sizzling noise, like crackling or a shower of sparks, got louder and louder the closer I got to my orgasm. It was terrifying, but the
feel
of him was more intense than the sound and fear.

“Fuck!” I cried, trying to drown out the noise.

The world exploded into fireworks as I detonated from within. My ears popped, the maddening pressure instantly releasing.

“I love you, I love you, I love you…” chanted Phil.

I could feel it in him. He was close, so hard, just ready to explode.

I was frozen in shock as it sank in that I had just
heard
him.

Burying his face into the crook of my neck, his cock jerking violently inside me, he unleashed a wonderful roar.

And I
heard
it.

“Oh, fuck, Baby Girl. Oh, fuck…” he moaned.

“Phil?”

“Fuck, I was too rough.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I was—”

His shoulders stiffened, and he pulled back. Looking down into my face, he was stunned. “Did you just…” He swallowed hard. “Did you
hear
me?”

“I did,” I replied, smiling.

My soul was soaring. I’d heard his beautiful, rich deep voice, and my heart and soul were singing with unadulterated joy. The happiest of tears filled my eyes, and I laughed. I could hear that, too!

“Kenna—”

“AAAAHHHH!” I screamed, laughing and crying. Tightening my arms around his shoulders, I squeezed my legs around his waist, hugging him with my whole body. “Dance for joy, you fool! I can fucking
hear
!”

Crushing my mouth beneath his, he kissed me until I was breathless.

“If I had known you would’ve gotten your hearin’ back from a decent fuck, I would’ve done it a week and a half ago.”

“Liar. You would’ve made us wait anyway.” I laughed.

“Yeah…probably.”

We made it home in record time. The second we were through the door, Phil threw me over his shoulder and hauled ass up the stairs into the bedroom.

Both of us were panting as he set me on my feet, and we stared at one another for a few heartbeats when something in the atmosphere shifted. Behind his eyes, I saw the shadows from the heavy guilt, the knowledge of the pain he had inflicted on me. They were the black smudges darkening his soul.

“Baby Girl, I need you to do somethin’ for me,” he said, sounding uncertain but determined.

“What’s that?” I whispered in return.

Taking my face in his hands, he softly kissed me. “I need you to hurt me. Will you do that?”

For the most part, Phil loved being dominant. It was natural and easy for him, given his size and personality. That part of him shone through in huge quantities when he was up on stage, commanding thousands. The fact that he
could
command thousands was possibly the reason he was so arrogantly dominant all the time anyway.

Sucking in a deep breath, I replied, “Yeah. Yeah, I think I can do that for you.”

He grinned. “Awesome.”

Phil needed to physically feel the pain that was eating him raw on the inside. He wanted to own his guilt and terror over the last three weeks in his flesh. I understood this, and admittedly…I kind of liked it. It was absolutely sex-inducing.

But I had a feeling he wanted more.

That was how he ended up naked with his wrists bound together, secured to the headboard with only enough slack to flip over if I needed him to. A few ideas were flitting through my mind, and I really thought he deserved to hurt a little bit, enough to feel it later on.

Right at this moment, I understood why he’d needed to share his hurt in the past, give it over to someone else. This felt…necessary. I needed to deliver it. As I straddled his waist, he and I stared into one another for some minutes, unguarded.

“You were the cause of most of my pain, Phil,” I told him, my voice deceptively soft.

He nodded. “I know, Baby. It’s why I want you to give it back to me. I need to carry it for you now.”

“Yeah.” I sighed, and my hand connected with his face with a sharp, stinging
crack
.

His head whipped to the side, and the breath left him in a
whoosh
.

“That’s for not touching me.” I slapped him again. “For telling me not to touch you.” Again. “I lost so many friends, people I loved, and just when I needed you the most, you abandoned me to face that horror alone!”

His chest jerked beneath me. “Fuck, Kenna—” He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. “I did. Oh my God…I’m so sorry—”

“
Sorry?
You
left
me! You let me rot alone in my own ringing head! You know what I felt?” What I’d felt was a furious and deep burning, fueled by all the mental anguish I had suppressed, ignored, and tried to forget.

“No, Baby—”

Crack!

“Fuck!” he grunted.

“I felt betrayed by the one person I had all my faith in. Deaf, alone, unwanted—”

“No!”

“Undesired.
Unloved!
Like a fucking burden being passed from one person to the next, whoever was taking fucking pity on me!” I shouted. The more I spoke, the more I recognized how true it was.

“Baby Girl—”

“I didn’t even know if I
was
Baby Girl anymore! You made me feel like
garbage, Phil! Like, if I wasn’t one hundred percent functional, then I was disposable! I had just fought my way through literal hellfire, and it had only been the thought of
you
that made me fight so hard to survive. Then, you just turned your back on me—”

“STOP!” he screamed, tears leaking out of his eyes now. “Kenna, please…oh God, Baby…I’m sorry! I’m so, so, sorry.”

“Tell me I’m wrong!” I roared.

“You’re wrong!” he roared.

My hearing buzzed.

“I
never
stopped lovin’ you, Kenna! Fuck! I was out of my mind when I felt…you were
gone
! My heart was dead the moment I felt that last blast! You weren’t
here
anymore! I don’t know where you went, but you weren’t here with me! I was ready to
die
, woman!”

“Then, why did you leave me?” I spit.

“I was scared that I’d hurt you, that I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands to myself—”

“I
needed
to feel you!”

“You needed to heal!”

“I needed your strength! Your love! And you took that away from me!”

He bit his lip so hard that blood welled and stained his pretty mouth red. “I know. I didn’t know what else to do, Kenna. I was so scared, and it wasn’t until…I know I did wrong. I know that. I don’t…
I love you
, Kenna. I love you more than it should be possible!”

Bending over, I brushed my mouth against his, tasting the blood. “I forgive you,” I whispered.

“I never wanted to make you feel like that,” he softly told me. “I was stupid.”

“No. Just scared.”

“Scared stupid then.”

I smiled. “If you insist.”

He nodded and licked the rest of the blood off his lip. “Don’t stop.”

“Just getting started,” I assured him.

Kissing him deeply, I sucked on his wounded lip before pressing my lips to his chin. Slowly, I went down his neck, his chest, his stomach. Abs rippled as his skin flushed with goose bumps. His breath hitched, and what a sweet sound it was.

Bright afternoon sunlight poured into the bedroom, and it felt so strange to do this to him with the luminous golden glow showcasing him. How enchanting, that he was so comfortable like this with me.

“Tell me…did you let anyone else have what’s mine?” I asked, knowing he hadn’t.

That shit with Koko had been repeatedly replaying itself in my head. He’d made it obvious he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else touching him.

“Fuck no!” he snarled.

I rewarded him with a long, slow lick up the length of him, from base to weeping head. Salty clear fluid spread over my tongue, and I had to close my eyes and savor it. I’d missed his flavor.

“You taste so good, babe,” I told him.

“It felt good,” he whispered. “Fuck, I missed you. I was so fuckin’ lost without you. I felt…
broken.
You were there, within reach but so fuckin’ far away.”

Grasping him, I sucked the head of him into my mouth, swirling my tongue around it. My hand slipped between my legs, and I lubed my fingers up with myself. As I took him to the root, I wiggled my wet fingers into his crack, finding his tight ring of muscle, rubbing and pressing.

“
Fuck
…fuck, Kenna…” he moaned, making me tingle everywhere.

Inching my way inside, I sucked him hard. Phil started to tremble, sweat slicking his body. Thrusting his hips, writhing, he gasped and groaned, and—
fuck me
—it was beautiful to witness. His anus pulsed faintly, and I knew he was toeing the edge.

“Baby…oh God!” he cried.

He was a nerve ending away from an explosion when I pulled out my finger and drew my mouth up to the tip. Flicking it once with my tongue, I pulled off completely and shimmied off the bed.

“Fuck!” he screamed. “Don’t stop!”

Ignoring him, I sauntered into the bathroom to scrub my hands and smirk at my reflection in the mirror.

“KENNA!” he roared.

My, I loved the sound of it.

Emerging back into the bright bedroom, with the sight of Phil’s bronzed body blazing in the sunlight, I couldn’t help but smile. Poor man, he
was
being tortured. His cock looked close to erupting, red and purple, the veins bulging.

“Turn over,” I commanded. “It’s ass-beatin’ time.”

“Kenna, I can’t—”

“What’s our word, babe?”

“Kashmir!” he barked.

“Are you calling Kashmir on me?”