The Sordid Promise (25 page)

“Eric, stop,” I said, but I was too quiet.

“You fucking owe me. I lent her to you, and you can’t do right by me?”

“Stop.” Estelle moved to try to separate them. Eric seemed unfazed. “I’m pregnant stop.”

He immediately let Preston go, allowing him to slip weakly to the ground. Estelle enveloped Preston in her arms as she shook with tears.

Eric growled, “You don’t get pregnant by the man I gave you to. It’s against
our
rules.”

My heart sank in my chest. It felt so heavy, I could barely breathe.

“I-I fell in love. We fell in love. He wants to marry me, and I want it, too. We were going to tell you, but—”

“This isn’t fucking happening. No. How the hell do you plan to marry him when he can’t keep his fucking hands off you in the way he should? Did you forget you’re still mine? Your actions are mine to decide.”

I didn’t want to believe it before. I wanted to believe it was just a one-off. I wanted to believe it was just a really close relationship with odd features. Denial can transform one into becoming dangerously stupid. “W-what?”

Everyone in the room turned to look at me, but my eyes were trained to Eric. He looked a mixed of pissed off and apologetic. “What the hell, Nik? Why can’t you fucking listen? I told you to stay in the house,” he rasped.

“Estelle is your g-girlfriend?” I sputtered.

Estelle stood, trying to help Preston to stand. “We are a lot more than that. Something someone like you wouldn’t understand.” Estelle shook her head at Eric and sighed. “This is why I fell out of love with you. This is why I no longer want to be yours Eric. You don’t treat people well. You use them. You didn’t take care of me like you promised. You ruined my life. No more. I’m having Preston’s baby, whether you think you can let it happen or not. I want nothing to do with you, your lies, or your scandals. I’m done paying you back for what you did for me. I’m done letting you make me pay. You’re a natural disaster that consumes and destroys everything and everyone he touches.” She stepped over to me. “As for what we
really
are, clueless one—“

“Estelle, don’t you dare fucking address her,” Eric snarled. “She doesn’t concern you.”

Estelle glared back at him in defiance.

“You want me to let you go, you fucking whore? Fine. Doesn’t matter how many times I hear this bullshit after you run off with a man you think you love. No more. I’m done. Leave. You and that waste of fucking space can leave my house tonight. You’re released from your debt. You no longer owe me. You’re no longer mine. So fucking help me, if you open your mouth to anyone about me, there won’t be a word for what I will do to the both of you. Do you get me?”

“I-I won’t say a thing to anyone about you,” she said while quaking with tears. “I know what you’ll do to protect yourself. Very fucking well.” As she passed me, her eyes turned to concern.

Eric met Preston with a clean punch to his throat. Preston gargled as he clutched his throat. “What the fuck did I just say?” Eric barked.

“You win. You win. Just don’t hurt him anymore. Please,” Estelle begged.

With an insidious smile, Eric grabbed Preston’s head roughly. “And you, my friend—” He leaned into his ear, whispering things to him that only he and Preston could hear. Preston nodded profusely as he clutched his neck, straining for air.

Estelle and Preston made a very quiet and quick exit.

Eric and I stared at each other for too many moments of silence. I didn’t know the first thing to say, or how to approach it. I know my fingers itched. I know my thighs ached for the touch of the sharp edge I‘d abandoned. I didn’t want to deal with this. I didn’t want to involve myself in it at all. It all served as a reminder to why I didn’t engage with very many people. You become invested, and they break your heart. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t…

The walls felt like they were closing in. I couldn’t breathe. My hands were clammy and my throat went dry. The pain in my chest was excruciating. Blinding white spots flared in my vision. There was a crushing weight on my chest. I couldn’t….breathe.

Eric put his arms around me and sat me down. I felt him pull me forward as he knelt down in front of me. “Nik, look at me. Look at me and match my breathing pattern.” He grabbed my hands to his chest, pressing them against his ribcage as he took in deep inhalations and exhalations.

“I-I c-can’t,” I said through wheezes. As I panted, I felt drawn to pass out. I felt like I was going to vomit. I felt like I was having a heart attack.

“My twisted angel, look at me,” he said mechanically. “Look into my eyes and breathe. You’re okay. You’re fine. It’s all in your head. Now take control of your body.” He pressed my hands harder, clutching my wrists with a painful crushing force.

The pain felt like a knife slicing me thin and separating me into small parts. I tried to match his breaths. Mine began to waver. I struggled to fight for control, but I couldn’t stop panting. As I got lost in his softening light brown eyes, I began to remember something less painful. Something real between him and me. Something that everyone continuously attempted to take away.

I sucked in a breath and let it out slow. It wavered, but became easier as I took in more air. He grabbed my head and kissed my forehead. “Good girl.” He stood and disappeared inside the kitchen. He came back and offered me a glass of ice water. He brought the glass to my lips, calling me to drink. “Slowly….slower….good.”

I grabbed the glass and tipped it back from my lips.

“Better?” he asked as he rested his palm against the side of my head.

Dazed in his eyes, I couldn’t nod. I couldn’t make him feel better about lying to me. It was too late to walk away. I was trapped inside emotions that wouldn’t let me. Because, despite it all, Eric made me fall in love with him. He was the only thing I had left in the world.

The sound of police sirens broke us both out of our gaze. Without moving from our positions, we glanced at the door.

“I’ll handle this,” he swallowed. I watched him stride toward the front door. Finding my bearings, I stood tall. “How can I help you officers?” Eric asked through a cheerful tone.

The man and woman in staunch navy blue uniforms eyed Eric with an unfriendly evenness. The woman glanced over at me speculatively. “This is Officer George, and I’m Officer Bryant. We received a call about disturbance at this residence. Do you mind if we have a look around?”

“Got a warrant?”

“We’ve got probable cause.” George pushed forward and stepped inside. He and Bryant had their eyes fixed on me after surveying the disaster in the living room.

“Is anyone else in the house, sir?” asked George.

Eric looked palpably tense. “No, just my girlfriend and I.”

“Ma’am is everything all right?” Bryant asked.

I nodded and gave the officers a fake smile. “Everything is just fine. I guess our bedroom antics disturbed the neighbors. We’ll be quiet next time.”

Bryant looked over my body. She stared the longest at the scars on the inside of my forearms. Aimlessly, I tucked my arms behind my back to hide them. As George walked intrusively around the house, Bryant kept her eyes on me. “Why don’t you come to the squad car and talk to me for a bit?”

“No need,” I assured her. “As I told you before, everything is fine.”

She shook her head with a disapproving smirk. “Let’s go, George,” she barked at him.

Eric saw them out, closing the door behind him. He plodded towards me while he contemplated me through a stillness. “It’s not what you think it is.”

“I think that Estelle is your girlfriend. I don’t think much else.”

“It’s not so simple,” he responded with fragility.

“Nothing about you or me is simplistic. What I didn’t want is to be lied to. And what was she was going to say? Is it the details about your deal between you and my mother? And what was the deal with Preston? You almost looked like a drug dealer chastising his lackey.” The sinking feeling began to take over, making my lungs feel like they were filled with needles.

“Nik, look at me.”

“No,” I groaned through a sob as I weakly pushed his chest.

“Nikki,” he demanded as he took my hands and pulled me to his body. “I love you. That’s genuine and as real as it can be. Nothing else matters. Nothing.”

“Did you love Estelle at one point? What the hell is going on with that? I’ve never heard of too many boyfriends labeling their girlfriends as whores.” I weakly flexed my fingers, wanting him to let me go. He responded by tightly closing his fists around my hands. “I can’t make any sense out of a boyfriend lending his girlfriend out to other men. Then again, I can’t make sense out of you being with me like you were—like we are if—”

“We lived a different life, but it’s done. The situation between her and me…I could explain it, but you wouldn’t understand. I’m trying to simplify it, by telling you how I feel about you. The only thing you need to know is that nothing else matters to me but you and me. We should focus on what’s important right now. Us. Can we do that, Nikki?”

My head felt so heavily manipulated, I couldn’t find the right words to respond the way I should have. He was a drug that induced a willfully ignorant high.

Eric is my highly exclusive prescription—and no replacements will do—but his side effects leave much to be desired. I need him. I need him so much, it doesn't make sense. It scared me to need someone as much as I’d grown to need Eric, but he gave me something I’d never had. He made me feel something I never thought I’d feel for anyone.

“Nikki. Baby.” He used a tone that was deeply erotic and further served to mangle my head. When he lifted my chin to look into his eyes, I started to cry. He pulled me into his arms. “Nothing is going to hurt us. Nothing. I won’t let it. I won’t allow you to let it either.”

I nodded into his chest. “Don’t let me go,” I sobbed.

“If I had to give up everything to be with you, I would. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m
never
letting you go. It’s just you and me—the whole world can fucking fall away.” He lifted my chin and gently kissed my lips. “Forget what happened, because it doesn’t matter. Estelle is out of my life, has been for a while, and it’s just about us. Please…stop crying, baby. You’re tearing me apart.” He kissed me again.

I brought myself down from my emotional cliff and clung to his waist.

He brushed his hands against my hairline and lightly kissed the bridge of my nose. “Everything all right now?”

“Yes,” I sniffled.

He moved his lips to my ear, lightly biting it. “Are you sore?” The heat of his breath made me shudder underneath him. “Because I want to make you come so hard, you forget about the day—forget about everything but the man who’s making you scream.” He grabbed the crown of my hair, tilting my head back and sucked my chin, ending with a gentle bite. “Can we do that, my twisted angel?”

“Yes,” I soughed weakly.

“Good,” he purred. Slipping down to his knees, he lifted my shirt and separated my legs. As he looked up at me with amorousness, he latched his mouth onto my slit.

Trying to gain some sense of normalcy back into my life, I attempted to take Maisha for a walk. I heard her call my name before I put my earbuds in, but I hoped by ignoring her, she would leave me alone.

“Excuse me.” Mrs. Hobbins jumped in front of me, waving a pack of papers in her hand. “You might want to hear me out, missy.”

I supposed it was far too much to hope Mrs. Hobbins would change her nature. I took out one ear bud. “What is it, Mrs. Hobbins?”

“I know you’ve taken up with that criminal. I’ve watched you grow since you were about knee high to the grass. I thought I’d give you something to make you rethink your decision. Your boyfriend is a criminal. Get him out of your house, and help us get him out of this neighborhood.”

I looked at the papers she was holding. It was something she never should’ve gotten a hold of, and I had no idea how she did. They were juvenile records. The crimes? Theft. Assault and Battery. Illegal possession of prescription drugs with intent to sell. Apart from the record copies; a news article about a teenager held on suspicion of multiple homicide, but the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence. I remembered Tamala mentioned something about Eric being a bit of a troublemaker. I would’ve believed what Mrs. Hobbins showed me had it not been for the name on the papers. When I looked at the name of the guilty party, I questioned Mrs. Hobbins’s sanity. Ethan Brae.

“How did you get this?”

“I have an acquaintance in the justice department; that’s how I got his sealed juvenile record. They’re never really sealed anyhow. He changed his name, but it’s him all right.” She pointed a shaky finger at me. “I don’t know how he served such little time, but he did. And that isn’t all, missy.”

“If he is Ethan Brae, he did these things when he was kid. So what? Doesn’t make him who he is now, does it? Because if I looked at your past and the fact you insist on everyone calling you Mrs. Hobbins, when your husband left you for your younger sister, I would say you were crazy. Why are you drudging up things? Why are you bothering at all? If he was Ethan Brae, obviously, he’s not anymore.”