The Soul Of A Butterfly (15 page)

DADDY

BECAUSE THE DEMANDS
of my career often kept me from home, I missed many of the little things that are among the greatest joys of parenthood, like being there for first words, first steps, first days of school. Of course, my separations from their mothers prevented me from being an ongoing everyday presence in my children’s lives. Some of my children saw me more on television than in person, and spoke to me most often over the phone. I sincerely regret that loss to them and to me. I was not as good a parent as I wanted to be—as my children deserved.

I knew at the time I was missing so much. Now I know how much.

* * *

Whenever I could, I would record my children laughing, talking, crying, and playing. I would take a small tape recorder and capture the moments early in the morning as they got ready for school and ate breakfast. In the evening I would pick up where I left off and begin recording again, catching the moments when they were playing on my office floor or getting ready for bed. When we were together, I would have long conversations with them on tape. Because I did this so frequently, the children would forget the tape recorder was present. I have hundreds of these little audio tapes; they are my most cherished possessions. I often look at photographs and listen to these precious moments of my children’s lives, when I was still Daddy, and so much still seemed possible. It all went by too fast.

I tried to be the greatest boxer in the world and a good parent, too. I had instant feedback on my success as a boxer. Often, parents don’t really know if what they are doing is right or wrong until their child is grown and it is too late to change any of the decisions. Whatever my failings as a parent, I am very proud of all of my children. It wasn’t easy for them to make their own way with such a controversial and public father.

FAME

ONE DAY I
’m going to die, and in heaven it won’t matter what job I had, how much money I made, or how educated I was. What really matters in life is prayer, living right, and doing good deeds, because this life is just practice for our eternal life. When people look up to us, even the way we speak to them can have a profound effect on them. I never wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings or damage anybody’s confidence, so in my private life—my real life—I tried to be especially careful about how I spoke to people. A word said in haste can have lasting effects. Some people tend to read a lot of meaning into the simple words that are said by those who have some fame. This can be good if people take something out of your words that helps them, but it can be harmful if they take something out of your words that can damage their self-respect.

While I always lived my life the way that I felt I had to, and not to please others, I still felt I had a responsibility as a role model for young people. I had to be free, but I had to do what was right. I was aware that many people—especially young people—looked up to me, so I abstained from using bad language in public, getting into drugs, or doing something to bring shame to myself and my family. I tried to live a clean and upright life not only because of the challenge of being a role model, but because it was the right thing to do.

When a man is a traveler, the world is his house
,

and the sky is his roof, where he hangs his hat

is his home, and all the people are his family
.

Drew Bundini Brown

with

GOD’S HELP

I ALWAYS SAID
that someday I was going to hitchhike from New York to California with nothing: no money, no food, and no clothes except what I was wearing. Then I’m going from California over to Asia and from Asia to Europe, and from there to Africa and South America. I’m going all around the world with just my face, to see how people greet me and take care of me. I think I could go just about any place in the world, knock on any door, and people would know me and let me in.

I might even march on foot through Venezuela, Israel, and the Sudan, all those countries, and tell people to stop fighting and agree on a peace that’s fair to everyone. Some people say that might be dangerous, but you have to take risks in life. Columbus discovered America by sailing around the world when people thought he’d fall off. Men went to the moon by risking their lives.

And then, when my trip is done, I’m going back around the world the other way. And I’ll buy food and clothes for everyone I met before.

In the ring I fought for my livelihood.

Before the government I fought for my religious beliefs.

In the world I fought for respect and justice.

Now I’m older and I’m tired—

But I’m still fighting.

I’m fighting illness, I’m fighting hunger,

I’m fighting poverty, and

I’m fighting for human dignity.

I’ve gone all over the world,

using this face that people know so well, and

fighting for peace and understanding.

A STORY OF

Gratitude and Generosity

My favorite of all the Sufi stories that I have learned over the years is the one about a slave named Omar
.

ONCE UPON A
time there was a slave named Omar. He had been brought before the king with one hundred other slaves. From the moment the king laid eyes upon Omar, he knew that he was someone special.

The beauty of Omar’s aura enchanted the king so much that he instantly made him his assistant.

It was not long before Omar gained the trust and confidence of the king, who put him in charge of his treasury, where all of his precious gold and jewels were kept. Many of the king’s men became envious of Omar’s new position. They could not understand why he should rise from a slave to keeper of the king’s treasure.

Soon their envy grew into spite. They began to tell stories in order to bring Omar into the king’s disfavor. One of the stories was that Omar woke up before everyone else in the palace and went into the room where the king’s jewels were kept—and that he was stealing the jewels little by little every day.

When one of the king’s men told him what was being said, the king responded, “No, I cannot believe such a thing! You’ll have to show me.”

Therefore they brought the king to watch in secret as Omar entered the treasury room. The king saw Omar open the safe. But what did he take out of it? It was not the king’s jewels, but his old ragged clothes that he had worn as a slave. He kissed them, pressed them to his face, and laid them on the table. Incense was burning and the king could see that Omar was doing something important to him.

Omar put on his old clothes, looked at himself in the mirror and said, “Look, Omar. See what you were before. Know that it was not your worthiness that brought you to this position, but the king’s generosity and goodness in overlooking your faults. So guard this duty as your most sacred trust, in appreciation of his generosity and kindness. Most important, never forget your first day—the day when you came to this town. For it is the remembrance of this day that will keep you grateful.”

Omar then took off his old slave clothes and put them back into the safe. Then he put back on his princely robe. As he headed for the door, he noticed the king standing in the doorway.

The king looked at Omar with eyes full of tears and said, “People told me that you had stolen jewels from my treasure room, but I have found that you have stolen only my heart. Omar, you have taught me a valuable lesson. It is a lesson we all must learn, whatever our position in life may be. We must always be grateful, even for the hardships we have known. Then the king looked into Omar’s eyes and said, “Omar, I may be the king, but it is you who have the royal heart.”

RESPECT

IT IS SAID
that there are two ways of dealing with people: One way is to control them, the other is to respect them. By controlling, you weaken the will of the other person. By respecting, you acknowledge the other’s personal will. In one case, you make a person a slave, in the other, you make him a partner.

Long ago there was a wise man who lived among the elephants in India. He shared his food with them and slept near them at night. At the same time, there were men who were caretakers of the elephants who controlled them with spears and commands. The elephants usually cooperated with them, but when an elephant was mad, it did not obey the caretakers, and during those times the caretakers were sometimes killed.

But the wise man had a good relationship with all the elephants. His tactics were different. He would approach the elephants with kindness and ease, pet them gently, and speak to them with a tender voice. This is how he was able to sleep among them unconcerned, and in all of the years that he lived among them, not a single elephant ever harmed him.

Sufi Teachings

UNITY

WITH ALL OF
our inventions and technology, with all of the planes in the sky, ships on the ocean, along with the discoveries of stars and planets, nothing can be agreed on concerning peace. When stronger nations begin to care for weaker nations, we will see unity. When people lend a helping hand without having to receive something in return, we will see humanity. And the reward will be peace among nations and brotherhood among men. When there is a crisis, tragedy, or national disaster, such as an earthquake, fire, flood, people set aside their differences and come together. We are like magnets, unable to resist the force that causes us to unite during such times.

God is working even in the face of catastrophe.

If only for a moment we could reach our original spiritual state of oneness, our heavenly and earthly natures joined; if we could learn to serve and love one another better, we would witness a better world.

recipe for a

GOOD LIFE

HERE IS MY
suggestion …

Take a few cups of kindness

One dash of humility

One sprinkle of laughter

One teaspoon of patience

One tablespoon of generosity

One pint of forgiveness

One quart of love

And a gallon of faith

Carrying the Olympic torch at the Atlanta Games, 1996.