The Spaniard's Woman - Contemporary Romance (17 page)

It felt like forever before Rhianna was capable of rational thought. She lay curled against Gabriel, her cheek pressed against his chest, his heartbeat muted thunder in her ear while his arm secured her firmly in place, in case she had the strength to consider escape.

But escape was the last thing Rhianna was thinking of. She didn’t want to think; not about the evening, or its disastrous ending, not about Isobel Ortega or the future. She was spent and lethargic with the bone-melting aftermath of passion.

They hadn’t used any protection this time. She’d realized it as she’d curled against him afterwards but the implications were too difficult to deal with.
I’ll think about things tomorrow
, she thought hazily.
In the morning, when there’s no escaping the future
. But right at that moment, all she wanted was to lay beside the man she loved and pretend that
this
was her future despite the fact that she knew it never could be.

Not now.

‘I have put you through a lot, yes?’ his voice was a dark rumble beneath her ear. ‘My poor Rhianna. Tomorrow we will leave here. I will take you somewhere that we can be alone, as I should have done from the very beginning.’

Alone... Rhianna sighed, shifting a little so that she fitted against him a little more snugly. It was cooler now, a soft breeze blowing through the bedroom from a long window that had been left open earlier. She felt Gabriel move to drag the quilt over them both.

Tomorrow he would take her away and they would be alone together.

And tomorrow she would tell him that it was no good. She would tell him that she couldn’t be his lover, not any more. Because if there was one thing that she had learned in the past twenty-four hours, it was that she could no longer accept having one, small piece of Gabriel Ortega.

If she couldn’t be the only woman in his life, then she wanted to be nothing at all.

Chapter Thirteen

Rhianna experienced a sense of incredulous recognition when Gabriel drove the convertible down the broad sweep of cobblestones that lead to the villa.
Their
villa, the one that she had lived in and that he had given her when he had left her.

Dylan, bright eyed and chatty in the back, was delighted. ‘A castle!’ he exclaimed.

Rhianna, feeling a little sick, stared up at the small villa that she had once loved. She should have known they where they were heading but he had driven a different route, one that she was unfamiliar with and so they’d bypassed the usual landmarks that were familiar to her.

The villa hadn’t changed at all. Small but solid, it did look a like a castle with a slender tower on either side and the curving terrace that looked a little like battlements. It glowed in the morning light, its rosy stone as warmly welcoming as ever. There were small clumps of garden scattered around the place, plants tucked into tiny flowerbeds so that scarlet and yellow flowers seemed to burst out of the most unlikely places.

Rhianna had been happy here. It had been her haven, the place she had shared with Gabriel, even though, technically, he hadn’t actually lived with her. He had spent virtually every night with her however and it had felt very much as if it were their own small world, a place that belonged to them alone.

She felt his eyes on her and swallowed. He had been unusually silent ever since they had left
Castilla Por El Mar
earlier on. Isobel hadn’t emerged to say farewell but Liana had, her eyes filling with ready tears as she had put her arms around Rhianna.

‘You have had a
terrible
time here!’ the girl had sniffed miserably.

Rhianna had hugged her tightly. ‘I’ve really enjoyed meeting you Liani. I’m sorry we have to go so soon.’

‘As long as you come back soon.’ Liani had muttered, before seizing hold of her brother. Dylan had been a little bewildered by the emotion he sensed simmering in the air and, just as he usually did when he was uncertain, had wanted Rhianna to pick him up. She had, holding him close, horribly aware that she would probably never return here with him. The thought brought tears to her eyes but she blinked them away furiously. She’d made her decision; there was no turning back.

The knowledge that she was driving towards a conversation she knew would be difficult sat heavily inside her and she’d watched the scenery flash by without really seeing it, the sea flickering in and out of sight as they wound around hills, heading back towards Girona.

How would Gabriel take her decision? She thought, briefly, of the previous night when she had lain wrapped in his arms. When she’d awoken she’d been alone, the bed retaining nothing but an impression of his body and Rhianna had understood how desolate it would feel to not have him beside her once again. She had lain in that great four-poster bed and stared up at the canopy above her, dim in the early light, missing him with a desperation that was frightening in its severity. It would be even worse now, worse than it had ever been the first time because he had re-awoken all of those feelings she had tried to bury for so long. She’d thought, briefly, about the possibility that she might be pregnant but had decided not to dwell on it. There were too many other things that needed to be dealt with. The remote possibility that history might repeat itself was something that must be consigned to the future if she was to get through the day ahead.

A life without Gabriel Ortega as her lover seemed like half a life. But a life sharing him with another woman was no life at all.

‘Rhianna?’

His voice brought her back to the here and now. ‘I thought you would have sold the place.’ she said, without looking at him.

‘I gave it to you, remember?’ They sat quietly for a few moments. The view from the villa was spectacular which was why, apparently, Gabriel had originally bought it. He had stayed here when he was a student, Rhianna suspected to escape the demands of his family. The sea was immediately below them, rolling in to a small crescent of silver beach. A narrow path wound down to it from the terrace, the steps giving away to rocks that had been carved a long time ago. Rhianna had bathed there almost every morning before climbing up for a breakfast on the terrace. It had been an idyllic life right up until the moment when it had all come crashing down around her.

‘We getting out now?’ Dylan said, rather plaintively, from the backseat.

‘Yes,
mi hijo
.’ Gabriel was still looking at Rhianna, ‘I thought we could talk in this place.’

Rhianna nodded wordlessly, wondering what he wanted to talk about. The fiasco last night? His plans for her future? Pain, deep and bitter, hovered on the edge of each and every thought but she refused to acknowledge it. Not now. If ever there had been a time when she needed to be a mother, it was now. The last thing she intended her son witnessing his parents in conflict. She had no idea how Gabriel would react to the decision she had made the previous evening but it safer to discuss it when they were alone.

They climbed out of the car and retrieved Dylan who did what any self respecting three year old would do by immediately running across to the low stone wall that ran down beside the edge of the driveway and attempting to climb it. ‘No!’ Gabriel said firmly, before Rhianna could move. He picked his son up. ‘You see down there? You see the rocks? That is a long way for person to fall, even for somebody as big as you. There are plenty of places to play here. You must promise me that you will not try and climb up here again.’

Dylan stared at him, eyes wide, before turning his gaze to the drop below. It went down about thirty feet and was impressively scary. ‘Okay.’

‘You promise?’ Gabriel insisted.

‘Yes Papa.’

‘Good boy. And an Ortega never breaks his promise so I know you will not forget.’

Rhianna gave a wry smile. An Ortega... somehow, she had never really thought of Dylan as an Ortega but that was exactly what he was. Gabriel would raise him as such, making him as much as a son of the household as he had been.

And what about me
? she wondered wearily.
Where does he think I am supposed to fit in the grand scheme of things?

They walked up the steps to the front door. Gabriel produced a key and Rhianna walked into the place she had never thought to see again. Had been
determined
never to see again, she amended, because she’d had no intention of taking anything from Gabriel back then, certainly not payment for a life that she believed they would share together. She had taken the key on the last day and tucked it down into the terra-cotta flowerpot that stood by the door, where Maria, the woman from the village, would look when she came to clean. When Maria discovered nobody in residence over several weeks, she would call Gabriel to let him know that it was vacant.

The place looked as it always had, clean and fresh, as if they had only left it a short while ago. Gabriel caught her looking around. ‘I had Maria and Jaunita come up and clean it,’ he told her quietly. ‘There should be food in the cupboards and in the refrigerator.’

Rhianna nodded, looking around her, trying not to remember. The problem was that there was a whole lot of good memories mixed in with the bad. She and Gabriel, sprawled on the couch together, reading or watching the television. Out on the terrace, sharing a bottle of chilled white wine as they took in the sunset. Up a level were three bedrooms, one of which they had spent a great deal of time in. Rhianna refused to think about what they had shared in that room.

She busied herself with settling Dylan in, unpacking his things while Gabriel took their son exploring. Dylan’s bed had already been made up with clean sheets so there was very little to do, really. Which was a pity because Rhianna was desperate to keep herself occupied, to give herself a break from the thoughts that bumped and jostled inside her head, an endless roundabout that went nowhere.

Could she live here again? she wondered hopelessly. With everything that had happened in the past, could she really put it aside and make this place her home again? Dylan’s home, even though he would spend time at the
castilla
while she waited for him to return.

‘I seem destined to wait for the men in my life,’ Rhianna muttered wearily.

As Gabriel had said, there was plenty of food in the kitchen and she made a simple lunch for them of crusty bread, salad and cheese. Afterwards they took Dylan down to the small beach and he paddled for searched the rocks. Rhianna tried to focus on her son but she felt Gabriel’s eyes on her and dreaded the coming night when she couldn’t hide behind Dylan any more. She knew that she had to tell Gabriel what she had decided before he touched her because when he touched her, she’d be lost. They would make love once more and she would forget everything because all she really wanted was a life with Gabriel Ortega.

But not as his mistress.

The afternoon moved slowly towards evening, bringing on a magical evening as the sun dipped towards the horizon, streaking the water with fire and the air felt as soft as velvet. There were undoubtedly other places in Spain that were equally as beautiful as this small villa but Rhianna couldn’t imagine any of them.

This was my fairytale
, she thought, standing on the terrace and looking at a view that took her breath away.
It truly was. All this time I have been drawing parallels in my head because this really is how I thought of my life. My enchanted castle by the sea with Gabriel as my prince. How could I not have believed that I would have a happy ever after?

Inevitably, Dylan’s bedtime came and together, she and Gabriel got their son ready for the night. After his bath they read to him and settled him into bed and Rhianna felt as if her heart would break, because this was just how a family should be; her family, hers and Gabriel’s. She was intensely conscious of the man. He seemed preoccupied by his thoughts and she wondered what was going on in his head. Had he decided, after that horrible scene with Alesander, that it really was time to put his life in order? Rhianna could still recall the cold disdain in his mother’s voice when she had referred to her as ‘that woman’. Nothing could have expressed Senora Ortega’s feelings towards Rhianna more clearly. The woman thought of her as nothing more than an inconvenient nuisance, one that couldn’t be ignored because she was the mother of an Ortega. It was that, more than anything else, that had convinced Rhianna what her course of action must be.

After Dylan was in bed, they were alone together and the time had finally arrived.

‘Gabriel, I need to talk to you.’

There was something in his face, a flash of bleak unhappiness in his eyes that disappeared with a downward sweep of thick black lashes so quickly, Rhianna thought she must have been mistaken. ‘And I need to talk to you,
mi querida
,’ he agreed. His voice sounded odd. Strained.

They went out to the terrace and she searched desperately for the right way to begin. She’d thought about it all day but no brilliant ideas had presented themselves. Turning to face him, she drew a deep breath. ‘Gabriel, I’m not prepared to be your mistress.’

His face might as well have been carved out of stone. ‘Wait! Before you go on... I have something for you.’

She watched, bewildered, as he slipped his hand into the pocket of his light cotton jacket and pulled out a slim envelope. Wordlessly, he handed it to her. Rhianna stared at it for a moment before raising questioning green eyes to his face. ‘Open it,’ he told her tightly.

Obediently, she opened the flap and drew out two plane tickets from inside. She stared at them. They were round trip tickets, first class, from Spain to Australia. There was no return date on them. Rhianna looked at them, thoroughly confused. One adult, one child... what did it mean? ‘I don’t understand.’

‘It means that I realized, last night, what a fool I’ve been, expecting you to fall in with my wishes, insisting that you had no say in things.’ Gabriel looked at the tickets in her hand. ‘This morning I went into Girona and bought those. You will notice,’ he added, voice dry, ‘that they are round trip tickets. I am doing my best, Rhianna, but I am not perfect. I want you to come back to me. When you have found your... space.’

She still didn’t understand. Gabriel was allowing her to take Dylan back to Australia? ‘Why are you doing this?’ she faltered.

He hesitated. ‘Did you not wonder how we came to meet in Australia
mi
amor
?’

Rhianna shook her head slowly. ‘A charity benefit for Spanish earthquake victims. A coincidence.’

‘Meeting you at the benefit was. A happy coincidence for me. But before that, I had been in Melbourne.’

She stared at him, puzzled. ‘Why?’

‘I was looking for you,’ he admitted. ‘You told me that you came from Melbourne and so it is to Melbourne I went. After Ana died I found that I could not get the thought of you out of my head. No,’ he grimaced, ‘if I am being honest, I have
never
been able to get the thought of you out of my head. It made me feel as if the failure of my marriage was my fault because I was in love with another woman.’ He shook his head bleakly. ‘The truth, however, was far more complicated than that. Ana and I should never have married.’