“
Please, Clara. We should all be together,” Euphora said.
“
I can’t.”
“
Well, if you won’t go, I won’t go. I can stay at Mrs. Hogarth’s and Izzie can visit us.”
“
No. You have to go with Izzie. I want you to go with her. I’ll be all right. You’ll be happy there. It’ll be much better than Mrs. Hogarth’s. It’ll be sweet summer cherries.”
“
Clara, please come. There are actresses in Rochester,” Izzie said.
“
Not famous ones.”
“
I’ll hate you for the rest of my life.” Crossing her arms, Euphora kicked at the gravel.
Tears welled in Clara’s eyes. She stared at Euphora a moment. “Please don’t hate me. I’ll write. I’ll visit.”
Euphora embraced her. “I don’t want you to stay here.”
“
I don’t either.” Izzie placed a hand on Clara’s shoulder.
“
Let’s not talk about it anymore now,” Clara said. “Let’s enjoy our stroll. I know where we can we get ice cream.”
Before Izzie left, there would be a tarnal awful fight between them, but she didn’t want it to be right then, not with Euphora there.
<><><>
THE NEXT MORNING, with the door to her bedchamber open at Mary Johnson’s, Clara had the collywobbles. She was listening for Izzie’s knock downstairs at the front door. Izzie was coming to talk to her again about going to live with her. It would be hard as hell-fire to stand her ground against Izzie’s older-sister clout, but there was nothing that Izzie could say that would make her want to work as a lady’s aide in a Water-Cure Institute and there was nothing that could make her want to leave Hannah and Mary Johnson and the others or her new life in New York City or her new dream of becoming an actress. She belonged here. That was truly, sure-as-rain, final.
They would wrangle and Izzie would give in, and then they were to take Euphora to Barnum’s Museum and then tomorrow morning Izzie and Euphora would leave on the train without her.
The door knocker clanked. She raced toward the stairs hoping to be the one to let Izzie in, but she heard the door open and Mary Johnson’s voice greeting Izzie. Her stomach flipped over like a pancake. She wanted to keep Izzie away from Mary Johnson and Hannah or anyone else that Izzie could talk into making her go to Rochester. What if Izzie and Mary Johnson had a heart-to-heart talk and then Mary Johnson decided it was best for her to leave? Then what choice would she have if Mary Johnson booted her out?
Damn
. Why couldn’t Izzie meet her at the St. Nicholas Hotel like she had asked? “No, I want to see where you live and meet your friends,” Izzie had said.
Clara skipped a few steps to catch up to them at the door.
“
Lizette, I mean Clara,” Mary Johnson said, “has told me so much about you, Izzie. Would you like to come into the rear parlor for tea?”
Oh,
Double rot
. Clara didn’t want to be with Izzie in that room. That was where they met the men and were chosen at night.
“
My sister and I have so much to talk about and so little time,” Clara said.
Mary Johnson glanced at her. “Why don’t you both go in the rear parlor then? I’ll have Lettie make tea and I’ll stay but a few minutes then let you two jabber to your hearts’ content. I would like to speak to your sister briefly, Lizette.”
Before Clara could say a word, Mary Johnson darted off for the kitchen.
Damn
. A few minutes between Mary Johnson and Izzie could be enough to ruin her life. Clara led Izzie through the front parlor past the piano and into the rear room. In the big gilt frame mirror that hung over the fireplace, she glimpsed Izzie whose brow was furrowed and mouth slightly open. Was she shocked? Was it the nude woman in the painting or was it that everything was so fancy?
“
Does your madam know I want you to come home with me?” Izzie asked.
“
Probably. You won’t try to convince her to boot me out, will you? I want to make my own decision.”
Izzie looked away, then began to pace about the room, winding her way through the sofas and chaise lounges.
“
I told you I’ll visit,” Clara said. “I want to see you and Euphora whenever I can.”
“
Clara.” Izzie approached her. “You know I’m the closest thing you have to a parent now that Papa is gone. You’re only fifteen.”
“
All right, girls. Lettie will have tea for us in a minute.” Mary Johnson strode over to them and stood near Izzie. Even Izzie seemed short next to the madam. “Now, Izzie, what are your plans?”
Izzie blinked just once. “I want Clara to come home to Rochester with me. I have work for her at my husband’s Water-Cure Institute.”
“
Well, that’s plain enough. You know I’m fond of Clara and proud of her. She’s been through a great deal and she is a strong young woman. She stood up to your father. She told you that? She’s proved she can fend for herself in this world.”
Clara calmed as she felt Mary Johnson fold an arm over her shoulders.
“
I was telling Clara I feel I am her guardian now with our father gone,” Izzie said.
“
She needed that sort of thing from you long ago. I doubt Clara would be here if you had tended to her sooner.”
Izzie blinked. “I know. For that, I hope someday she’ll forgive me.”
With the two of them starting a debate for themselves, Clara was starting to feel small. Maybe she should go outside for a walk and see what they decided when she came back. Here was Izzie, her older sister, standing with Mary Johnson, her madam. They were looming over her. Her collywobbles were coming back.
Lettie arrived with a tray and set it on a marble table. She poured tea from a blue ceramic pot into three cups.
When the third cup was full, Clara looked straight at Izzie. “I’m not leaving.”
Izzie and Mary Johnson stopped talking and both looked as though they suddenly realized someone else was in the room.
“
I’m not leaving.”
Lettie scurried away.
“
Clara, you can’t stay here. I won’t allow you to do this with your life. You’ll regret it.”
The tone was familiar. Izzie was getting riled. Even though Clara had missed Izzie’s brass for such a long time, she wished she didn’t have to stand up to it now.
“
Izzie, I believe Clara has already made her own choice. I will say it again. Any girl who can get up the nerve to get herself and her sister away from a man like your father and come all the way to New York City on her own and find her way, even if you don’t approve of that way, can make her own decisions.” Mary Johnson crossed her arms over her waist. “If she says she wants to leave, I’ll help her pack her things up and I’ll escort all of you to the depot. If she says she wants to stay, she stays.”
Izzie’s face went hard like a big, flat rock. “I’m her sister, Miss Johnson. I am responsible now.”
“
I don’t think you are responsible,” Clara said. “I can take care of myself.”
“
You want to … you actually want to be a prostitute?”
The word came at Clara like a sharp, bitter arrow. She couldn’t speak or move.
“
I take care of my girls. As long as she stays here with me, I will take care of her.” Mary Johnson stared straight at Izzie like she could see right through to her other side.
“
How can you take care of her? Look what she does every night? What about syphilis and gonorrhea? What about abortion? Is that how you’ll take care of her?”
“
I can’t listen to you say these things,” Clara said. She turned and headed for the double doors.
“
Clara, wait. You must come with me. Please.” Izzie stretched a hand in her direction.
“
I can’t. This is my home now, Izzie. I’m sorry.”
“
Clara, you must. I insist.”
Mary Johnson nodded solemnly at Clara.
“
What time will you collect Euphora at Mrs. Hogarth’s? I’ll come and say goodbye.” Clara felt the tears flood up, but she held them back.
Izzie’s face grew cold. It was an awful face. Clara was thoroughly nauseous now.
“
Six-thirty in the morning. What about today? What about the American Museum this afternoon?”
“
Tell Euphora I have a fever. Tell her you couldn’t make me change my mind, but I’ll visit in a month or two.”
Her stomach jumping up and down like a leather ball, Clara left Izzie there by the big mirror with her madam. As she climbed the stairs, she heard Izzie and Mary Johnson quarreling. They could argue all they liked, all morning and afternoon. She belonged here and she was going to stay.
<><><>
CLARA WOKE WITH THE FIRST LIGHT. Foggy-headed from the night’s champagne, she felt like she had hardly slept at all. Beside her, a young sporting gentleman was snoring quietly through his long brown mustache. The young ones who didn’t have wives and children to return to often stayed the night, especially if they were pickled like this Russell something or other from Georgia. He said he hated everything about the north, but not the women. He loved northern women. He told her she was like a cool deep well he could drink from.
Clara’s night had been easy. He was not one of the imaginative ones and he didn’t smell much. She got up from bed, combed her hair, and tied and pinned it up on her head. It was a mess, but no one would see it under her summer bonnet. Slipping into a light blue day dress, she decided to walk to the Hogarth’s on Nineteenth Street. It was too early for anyone to heckle her. At this hour, she’d be left alone to walk in peace.
The sky was gloomy, but it was the kind of sky that only teased at rain. It wouldn’t really rain. It would just feel sticky and hot all day and once in a while there would be thunder far off.
While she walked across Washington Square Park, she thought about her sisters leaving without her. Maybe she should change her mind. Maybe she should go with them. She slowed her pace. What would happen if she never became an actress? What would happen if Hannah married one of the sporting gents and left her? She couldn’t think of these things. Anything could happen. She only wanted to think about today.
Later on she would join Hannah, Abbie and Carlotta on a two-hour steamer ride to Coney Island, to wade in the blue rolling waves of the Atlantic Ocean. She was excited to see the ocean for the first time. “If your name is LaMer, you must know the ocean,” Carlotta had said.
When Clara arrived at the Hogarth’s, Izzie and Euphora were already waiting on the sidewalk with their bags. Mrs. Hogarth was with them. Her red hair down below her shoulders, Euphora saw Clara first and ran toward her.
“
You have to come with us, Clara. I don’t understand.”
“
I told Izzie I’d visit. I will.”
“
Are you sure, dear?” With worried eyes, Mrs. Hogarth arrived at her side. “You’re so young. I don’t think my cousin Emma or your mother would have approved.” Mrs. Hogarth’s hand with the missing fingers twitched at her side.
“
I’m going to stay,” Clara said.
“
You’ll visit me even with Euphora gone, I trust.” Mrs. Hogarth embraced Clara. “Tell me if you need help with anything, anything at all,” she whispered into Clara’s ear.
“
We’re going to walk to the depot. Will you come along?” Izzie asked.
Euphora took Clara’s hand and dragged her over to Izzie.
They said their good-byes to Mrs. Hogarth and set off to the west for Tenth Avenue. As they walked, Euphora clutched Clara’s hand so tightly that Clara nearly yelped with pain more than once. Euphora asked about how often Clara could visit and told her how much she would miss her and then told her again, and then again, until they were saying the same things over and over. Izzie was mostly quiet, except to direct them when to cross the streets and which direction to take. Surely she must have more to say than “right here, left here, straight now,” thought Clara. Perhaps Izzie was so ashamed of her that she didn’t want to speak to her. Perhaps the last few days of seeing Clara and her life at Mary Johnson’s had sunk in.
At the depot, Izzie purchased two tickets on the train bound for Albany where they would change to another train for Rochester.
Then the three of them stood with a small crowd of people and their cargo at the door of a rail car. Tears streamed down Euphora’s face and Izzie’s eyes were watery too.
“
All aboard the Hudson River line for Albany.” A man paced along the platform repeating his instruction.
She could get on the train with them right now. She didn’t need her things. Someone at the parlor house could ship her dresses to her. Would it be so terrible being a lady’s aide at the Upper Falls Water-Cure? She could be with her sisters. She could leave all the men and their strange, complicated needs behind.