Authors: Shelley Thrasher
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #General, #Historical, #Lesbian
The smoke from her cigarette drifted toward Willie. “Eric promised to help me get our farce of a marriage annulled if I'd do him a favor.”
“What's he want?”
“His mother died a few months ago, and his two younger brothers enlisted right after that. His dad's been sick and doesn't have any help, so Eric asked me to drive him up to some flyspeck of a place in East Texas.”
Willie drilled her with translucent green eyes. “East Texas? Nothing but hicks and pine trees in that part of the world. Why can't he drive himself?”
“War injuries. He's got a bad leg and can't see well right now. Hurt one of his eyes real bad in an aeroplane crash. Besides, he said we'd just stay long enough to hire a couple to take care of his dad and the farm. The old man must have some money.”
Willie took a drag off her Russian cigarette in its long gold holder, then flicked the ash into a cut-glass ashtray. She had as many facets as it did. “You're a soft touch. Hope you don't have to stay too long.”
“You and me both.”
Jaq jerked her blue-striped tie loose and almost ripped off the collar button. It felt like a damn noose, but along with her starched shirt and black suit, it provided a hell of a lot of freedom. The white collar reminded her of ground razors.
She glanced at the deep V where the tops of Willie's white breasts met before they disappeared into her red velvet dress. She wanted to caress the line where soft cloth met bonbon flesh.
Willie stubbed out her cigarette and said in a voice as smooth as Canadian Club, “I'll miss you.”
As Willie slid her tongue over full red lips that set off her creamy skin and stylish blond wig, Jaq shivered with pleasure. Willie knew how to display her assets and acted like Jaq was the only person in the world worth listening to.
She'd miss Willie's supple hands on her body. Being close to death near the front lines in France last year had made her crave a woman's touch more than ever. And now for the first time, a woman had responded to her without guilt or regret. Willie didn't love her, and she didn't love Willie. But she loved the freedom Willie allowed her. She could cry out in release as Willie thrust fluid fingers into her parched body. If she'd allowed herself, she could have sobbed without being afraid Willie would reproach her for indulging her feelings.
“I'll be back before you know it. I just hope Eric keeps his end of the bargain.” She drained her glass. “Three's my limit. It's late. I better go. Got a long trip ahead of me.”
“If you wish.” Willie lifted her crystal glass with strong fingers and sipped her cognac.
Shivering again, Jaq inhaled the rich, full-bodied scent of Willie's Red Moscow perfume. She'd rather still be in Willie's bed instead of leaving tomorrow with a man.
“Come back soon,” Willie murmured as Jaq buttoned her collar, tightened her tie, and shrugged on her black trench coat.
“Sure thing.”
Settling her worn fedora over her right eye, she stepped out into the damp, muggy air. Gaslights cast shadows along the streets, and the familiar odor of dead fish and black mud made her miss Willie's spicy, floral warmth.
She sauntered through dark streets toward her parents' house. The smoke from her cigarette drifted into the fog as she pondered red velvet and white skin. Damn. Her collar still chafed her.
Good thing it was so late. Mother would throw her out if she saw her dressed like this, like a man. Hard to believe Mother hadn't discovered her nightly masquerades. She was lucky, there, and lucky too that Eric had a sense of humor about it all. If Father knew, he'd probably laugh along with Eric. Well, maybe.
She took her time returning to her bland prison. While she'd been there, her mother had done nothing but insist that she cheer up and act normal, and her father had spent most of his time escaping from the house by going to his office near the docks. Now her so-called husband waited there for her to drive him to the ends of the earth.
Surely she'd be able to relax in East Texas. That's what she needed.
*
March 27, 1918
New Hope, Texas
Molly Russell sat on a low stool and listened to the soft, drawn-out
coo-oo
of the mourning dove as she pressed her head into Nellie's side and tried to milk her. The sun warmed her arms, and the morning breeze cooled her. Inhaling the sweet smell of golden hay, she stared absently at the dew glinting on a spiderweb in one corner of Nellie's stall.
She hadn't been able to sleep last night and had finally gotten up and worked on a song she was composing. Of course she'd overslept this morning, which set Mother Russell off. “We need to hurry, Nellie.”
Yesterday Mother Russell had scolded her for letting the cornbread burn, and she still heard her caustic words: “Land's sakes, where's your head? Thinking about that silly Easter program, aren't you?” She was probably stewing in the kitchen right now while she cooked breakfast.
“I should get a medal for living in the same house with Mother Russell for all these years,” she told Nellie. “If only I'd asked Mr. James to introduce me to her before we said our vows. If he had, I'd most likely be in Dallas right now. Maybe I'd have met someone who loves music too, or found a job teaching it. But then I'd never have come to know you and had Patrick, God bless him.”
Nellie moved away and she grasped her tits more firmly. She'd massaged them and now held them gently but firmly, squeezing but not pulling. She'd even rubbed her right knee along Nellie's stomach and hummed her favorite melody from
Swan Lake
, but the cow still wouldn't release her milk. “What's wrong, sweetheart? You seem restless.” She put her ear to Nellie's stomach.
“Are you nervous because I'm worried the music program won't go well Sunday? I wish I could take my time with you. But if I do, Mother Russell might storm out here and prod us both.”
She enjoyed Nellie's soft brown eyes, smooth skin, and earthy scent. She liked feeling her respond, enjoyed talking and singing to her. They were usually so in tune. “What's wrong, precious?”
She'd bathed Nellie's tits with warm water and handled them until they softened. She'dâ¦Heavenly days! She'd forgotten to feed her.
“I'm so sorry, sweetheart.” She moved the gallon bucket, then eased up from her stool. “I'll go get your breakfast. I can't do anything right this morning. Of course, I never can do anything right. I wish I could run away from the farm.”
*
“Molly. Molly Lee.” What in tarnation was she doing out in the barn so long?
Mrs. Russell grabbed a long amber bottle from a kitchen drawer and rolled out the biscuit dough on a floured board with hard, fast strokes.
She was glad she could talk to her husband, Calvin, about anything. Even if he had been dead nigh on forty years, looking at the big picture in her room of him wearing his Confederate uniform kept him alive in her mind most all the time.
“I heard Molly get up late this morning, the lazy heifer. Then she lolled around getting dressed. Sounded like she was in a daze, stumbling over everything. I give her the easiest chores on the place, and she can't even get up and out in time to do 'em right,” she muttered to him. “Where's that gal's head most of the time? In the clouds, I reckon.”
After patting plump biscuits into a greased pan, she shoved them into the hot oven and slammed the door shut with a clang.
“Most likely dreaming up a new piece of music, Calvin.” At least
he
understood what she had to put up with. “Says she wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes with a song running through her head, so loud she has to jump out of bed and scribble it down. Thinks she's another Chikovskiâsome fancy Russian fella she's always carrying on about. Well, if she doesn't bring me some milk pretty soon, I'll Chikovski her.”
She stormed halfway out to the barn and called again. “Molly, I know you can hear me. We need some fresh milk in this house right this minute. You best quit lollygagging and get a move on.”
A blue jay on the peak of the outhouse raised his crest straight up and squawked like he was mocking her. She threw a stick at him then marched back to the house in the early morning light.
Maybe she'd get a rise out of Molly, the little slacker, but she doubted it. The overeducated know-it-all.
Jaq tightened her grip on the steering wheel of her black Model T. “Damn. We've been on the roadâif that's what you call these washed-out rutsâthree days. They're pounding me to jelly.”
“Sorry I can't help more. Maybe my leg will be better when we head back.” Eric McCade unwrapped the white butcher paper from a wedge of yellow cheese and pulled out his pocketknife.
“How much farther to New Hope?”
He handed her a thin slice with larded cheesecloth still stuck to one end. “I bet you didn't hear me say it's almost four hundred miles all told. Thinking about getting away from your mother, weren't you? She and your pop seemed concerned about you when we left.”
“You're imagining things. Now she won't have anybody to gripe at except him. She knows he'll stay at his office even more now, without me to distract her. Just tell me when we'll get there.” She bit into the sharp cheese, its pungent, earthy flavor easing her queasy stomach. “How about some crackers? I can still taste that chili from last night.” This drive through Louisiana made her appreciate the luxury of traveling by ship and train.
Eric maneuvered several saltines from their waxy package. “Here you go. If we expect to find someplace better than that dump we stayed in yesterday, we need to make it to Natchitoches tonight.”
“Okay. How far's that?”
“Forty more miles, give or take.”
“I've given you about all I can. Another half day? Then what?” She polished off the crackers and another piece of cheese, dusted the crumbs onto the black rubber floorboard, then pointed toward the half-empty Coca Cola bottle he held between his legs. “Remind me again how I let you talk me into this.” She could kick herself. She must have been nuts.
“So many questions.” He handed her the Coke. “We'll reach New Hope Saturday. And in case you've forgotten, my darling, you stood before that official last year and promised to love, honor, and obey me.”
“Right.” The lukewarm drink tickled her nose and washed down the dry crackers and cheese. If only she could wash away such a foolish mistake so easily. “And the next day I told you to forget it.”
“But in the eyes of God and the law, we're still one.”
“And only one of us is driving.” She smoothed the black leather seat beside her. If only it was better cushioned. “Hey, didn't Father give me a swell homecoming gift? I don't care if this Model T's four years old. She could probably do thirty-five or forty on a good road. But our sham of a marriage isn't near-enough reason for me to spend ten hours a day behind the wheel, no matter how much I love her.”
Eric gave her more cheese and crackers. “Let's see, then. You're coming with me because you feel sorry for me?”
“Huh. That'd be a cold day in hell. So what if your plane crashed and ended your flying careerâfor now, at least? You think that'd make me agree? Besides, I'm counting on us not being there long. If you believe I feel sorry for you, you're crazier than I was when I married you.” She was lying. The battered man beside her barely resembled the strutting pilot who'd bulldozed her into marrying him just a year ago. Of course, all the gin they'd consumed had helped.
“So you're doing it because I'm still a tall, handsome war hero with a fistful of medals?” Eric cut a thick slice of cheese for himself and stuck it between two crackers.
He was so banged up, she couldn't bear to hurt him. She simply didn't want to be his wife. “Something like that. And we understand each other. You'd do the same for me, wouldn't you?”
“I suppose so. Especially if you'd promised we could annul our mistake.” He ate some more, then gathered his crumbs and tossed them toward the steep ditch on the side of the road.
Hell, she might as well be honest. “Hmm. Yeah. That went a long way toward convincing me. But I still love youâlike a brother.”
He finished the rest of the Coke and threw the bottle out too. “If you'd let me, I'd convince you we could be more than that.”
“Nope.” She'd learned her lesson. “We tried once. That's enough. I told you, I love women and you'll never be more than a friend.”
“Speaking of your so-called love for women, what's with you and Willie Piazza? I spotted you two in the saloon last night when I stopped by for a quick drink. You looked like you could eat each other alive.”
“Yep. We'd been doing that quite often. But it's nothing serious. We're just pals.”
“Like you and me, I guess.”
“Yeah. But she's got the right equipment and plenty of spare time.”
“Not something you and I've had much of till lately.”
She tightened her shoulders, then released them. All this driving, talking, wandering, and running away had made her quiver inside. She just wanted some peace and quiet for a while.
“Yeah. Well, how about we end this bogus marriage soon?” She stretched one arm above her head, then the other. Disguising herself as a man so she could visit Willie late at night had made her skin prickle. Disguising herself as a wife made her yawn.
If God would just let her get back to New Orleans and become a free woman sooner rather than later, she might think a little better of him. Being tied down sure wasn't what it was cracked up to be.
*
Molly's right cheekbone ached and her eyes felt grainy as she grabbed an old wooden box. The sweet odor of the hulls and yellow cottonseed meal she scooped into it eased her headache, but it didn't lessen her perpetual heartache. A stubborn refrain,
Why did I marry and move here?
rarely stopped playing in her mind and plaguing her heart.