“Really?” Surprised, yet thankful to change the subject, I clapped excitedly. “How cool is that? I want to see your work!”
She blushed. “I don’t show many people.”
“Well, I can’t sing worth a flip, but I appreciate words.” I massaged Calla’s pudgy legs, loving the feel of my little one’s body against mine. “I tried to get Grace to turn her poetry into songs for Gavin to sing.”
“Uncle Jack always encouraged me to get my material out there,” Sadie admitted. “My fear of rejection limits me. I’ve got to get a thicker skin.” She paused. “Speaking of thick skin and Uncle Jack, how is the lawsuit going?”
“It feels like it’s creeping along at a snail’s pace, but a lot of progress has been made. Scheduling deadlines have been set, and he is dealing with pre-discovery disclosures. I hope I’ve got my legal jargon right. Jack shields me from things I don’t need to know.” I was relieved at his decision to censor the case, given the grief I dealt with.
“So, depositions have not yet begun?” Raised as a judge’s daughter and an attorney’s niece, Sadie was familiar with the processes.
“No.” I gulped at the thought of the only aspect I still dreaded. “We will subpoena Collin, Jeff, and Kevin Matthews, the human resources rep I spoke with.” I covered my face with my hands, letting Calla wiggle loosely on my lap. “Julianne’s too scared to speak up for me, and I don’t blame her. I’m terrified of sitting in the same room with the others.”
Sadie understood my fear. “You can do it. Look how far you’ve come.” She let out a cute little giggle. “Picture them as cartoon characters.”
“That won’t be hard.” I snorted, blowing up Collin’s unattractive features in my mind until he was barely recognizable.
“How much longer does Uncle Jack think you have? He told me your case was so strong that it would settle much quicker than most.”
I calculated the months in my mind, surprised how time had flown. “He said the whole process would take a year, so we’re more than halfway through if he’s right. Covington’s attorneys keep asking for extensions, but he expected that.” Pausing, I added, “I’ve made up my mind to take it one day at a time.”
“Our minds are powerful,” Sadie mused, smoothing her hands along her linen pants. Her apple-colored waves fluttered in the wind, each strand landing perfectly in place.
“I agree. Every time I get the sinking feeling that I will feel like a fool if I lose, or the nagging question of ‘Why’ resurfaces, I focus my thoughts on all that I have. Andrew. Calla. My family, my friends. The chance to make an impact for women. I’m going to train my mind until it’s filled with the love and laughter it once was.”
Resting in a comfortable silence, Sadie retreated back into her novel while I brainstormed ideas for the painting of Grace I had begun. Every color had to be perfect, every angle eye-catching. With every artistic session I could steal, the whisper permeated my heart, guiding me with every careful stroke. I could almost feel
her
there, smiling as I recreated her unstoppable energy through art.
Out of nowhere, Sadie shoved her novel down and sighed loudly. “Sometimes, these love stories make me want to barf. I wonder if I’ll
ever
find love.”
I couldn’t imagine that she
wouldn’t,
with her heart and unique beauty. “Have you ever been in love?” I remembered several guys she dated here and there, but no single name that lingered on her tongue for very long.
Her emerald eyes lifted to the moon, searching for a memory. “I think I was once. And you know the crazy thing?”
“What’s that?”
“I only knew him for a few hours.”
I raised my eyebrows. “And…” Calla whirled her head toward Sadie, as if to say,
Tell me too!
“My flight to Texas to see my grandparents was delayed.
He
sat beside me. The instant he sat down, I glanced his way, and it felt like the world stopped. I almost couldn’t breathe; I was so floored by his good looks and just his … aura. He smiled at me, and when his eyes met mine, neither of us looked away for what seemed like a lifetime. I didn’t even know his name, but somehow knew I would never forget him.”
Intrigued, I hung on to her every word.
“He was completing his doctorate in Austin, so we had the whole love of teaching thing in common. He likes to travel, and loves music, too. He had the roundest dimples I’d ever seen, and the sharpest wit I’d ever heard. I laughed for the whole hour before they finally called us to board. And then …”
She giggled like a little girl. “He was assigned to the seat beside me on the plane! What are the odds? We chatted the whole way there, and I felt like he was as mesmerized with me as I was with him. I wanted to know
everything
about him. The chemistry between us was crazy powerful, and I had to force myself not to jump in his lap. I wanted to kiss him, to touch him, to…” her voice trailed off.
“What happened?”
“He asked for my phone number. And then…” A faraway look fell over her face, as if she had transported worlds away.
“ … I never heard from him. It wouldn’t have worked, anyway.” Resigned, she seemed almost embarrassed she’d told me. “Stupid, huh?”
“No, Sadie. Not at all.” I wondered why she’d never told me.
“I thought about him for years. I left my heart somewhere I’ve never even been.”
Calla beamed at Sadie, reaching her arms out for a hug. Perfect timing. Sadie met her gesture happily.
“Sadie, I’m not just saying this because you are my friend. You are absolutely beautiful, and have a sweet spirit that many envy. Your innocence makes you priceless. You
will
find the right guy for you.”
“I don’t think guys want innocent.” The disappointment in her voice was unmistakable. “I’ve tried so hard to be good, but none of them want ‘the road less traveled’ anymore. They all want easy.”
“No, they don’t.” We both jumped at the sound of Andrew’s voice, who presented both of us with smoothies. “No man wants to marry a whore. Innocence
is
beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”
The sweet blush crept across Sadie’s cheeks again, and I thanked Andrew with a grin. As usual, he smoothly saved the day. He lifted Calla from my arms, tossing her spontaneously in the air as she squealed excitedly. Our laughter filtered through the evening breeze, spreading the song of friendship in the air surrounding us.
I had barely lifted Calla from her crib the next morning when the doorbell rang sharply. Calla immediately switched from crying to cooing when we walked out of her princess chambers, and was even happier when she saw a striking Gavin, uniform-clad and boasting his God-given hotness, standing at our front door. He still had bags under his eyes, no doubt from lack of rest associated with single parenthood combined with grieving his late wife. In his hand was the note that had appeared under my storage unit door.
“Hey, friend,” I said softly as he took Calla from my arms and kissed her on the cheek. “Come on in. Coffee?”
“Absolutely, do you have any of that Pike Place brand from Starbucks?”
Flipping on my Keurig, I rummaged around in the cabinet until I found what he had requested. “Yes, coming right up. Please excuse my appearance.” Showering was still optional, and the Crimson Tide sweatshirt and old pair of running shorts I was wearing screamed, “I’m not leaving the house today.”
“How are you?” Compassion filled my voice as I watched him stroke the tiny strands of wavy brown hair that sprouted from Calla’s head.
He waited a moment to answer, and the droning of the Keurig filled the quiet. “As good as can be expected. I wish I could tell you that every day without Grace gets easier, but it doesn’t. Emma keeps me busy, and my mom is basically living with me.” He stared at me … yet right through me. “Treasure every moment you have with Andrew, Jana. You never know when it might be your last.”
I choked back the lump in my throat. “I do. And I miss her, too, more than anyone will ever know.” His coffee was done. I mixed in one pack of sugar and two tablespoons of creamer—he and Grace liked theirs identically—and swiftly placed it in front of him. “How is Emma?”
“She’s good. Too young to know what’s going on, but I feel like it’s probably making more of an impact on her than I know right now.” His attempt at a smile did not reach his dark brown eyes. “I totally forgot about this note. Andrew gave it to me and asked me what to do about it. As your community cop, I would tell you to report it. But as your friend, I would tell you not to worry about it. I doubt your colleagues cause any more harm other than gossip, and we can’t do anything about that. It will blow over.”
After tucking the curtains back to let some light in, I poured myself a glass of sweet tea and joined Gavin and Calla. “That’s what I was thinking. It’s probably not even worth our time.”
“No,” he agreed. Calla jumped up and opened her mouth on his cheek, covering him with sloppy baby kisses.
He chuckled. “Emma does this.”
“I need to see her soon. It’s been too long.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Five days?”
“That’s too long to go without seeing my best friend’s daughter.” We smiled at each other sorrowfully. At least we were smiling about
something
now.
He juggled Calla on his knee and changed the subject after taking down over half of his cup of hot coffee in two swigs. “So, how’s the lawsuit going? What’s your attorney’s name, again?”
“It’s going well … we actually hope for a settlement within the next few months. His name is Jack Singleton; he’s my friend Sadie’s uncle.”
He looked confused. “Who is that? Did Grace know her?”
“Vaguely. Sadie is a few years younger than us, and I met her in Birmingham.” I nodded toward a photo on the fridge of Sadie and I huddled together, grinning, after a Florida Georgia Line concert the year before. “That’s her.”
Instantly, the fatigue in his eyes was replaced with something elusive, something almost magical. His gaze locked on Sadie’s shocking red locks, fascinating green eyes, creamy skin, and, if I had to guess, the absence of a ring on her left hand. His mouth fell open a bit, giving him an intoxicated, love-at-first-sight expression.
“God, she’s beautiful.”
An expression of guilt overcame him as soon as he’d blurted out the words. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
I covered his hand with mine. “Gavin, there’s nothing wrong with finding another woman attractive. One day, you’re going to need to move on.” I jumped up to turn off the oven right as the timer sounded. “Perfect timing! Cookies coming right up! ”
He turned his eyes away from the picture and closed them. “There won’t be anybody like Grace. Nobody could be that wonderful.”
“She was one of a kind. But there will be a
different
kind of wonderful woman to love you and Emma, when the timing is right.” I eyed him carefully, hoping I was not overstepping any unspoken boundaries.
“A different kind of wonderful,” he echoed slowly. “Be right back.” He headed toward the restroom.
His cell phone vibrated on our granite countertops, next to the oven where he left it. I frowned with fleeting recognition as the screen lit up with a text.
Gavin, this is Alex. I really need to talk to you. I can prove it to you!
At Starbucks in Mobile … Grace was concerned about a man named Alex … but I swore she was ridiculous.
Before I could try to interpret the strange paranoia burning in my gut, a second text came through.
When can you talk?
My breathing felt shallow.
It’s nothing, Jana. Mind your own business.
I tried to chase away my curiosity, but possibilities plagued my mind. What if he was a divorce lawyer? Could Gavin have truly been serious about leaving her? But, what could he need to
prove?
A sickening feeling polluted my being. Grace was manic before her death, the condition that precipitated her sky-high sex drive in the past … could
she
have cheated?
No, don’t go there.
Perhaps something positive … Grace said something about Gavin being tracked down by someone in the music industry. Or, what if Gavin was the star of a serious crime investigation that was top secret?
So much for chasing off my curiosity, but what would I say? “Hey, Gavin! I’m really nosy and was wondering, who’s Alex?” No way.
As Gavin devoured the warm cookies, teasing Calla with crumbs, I wondered if I should do some digging on this Alex.