Authors: Kat Martin
He didn't say more and neither did she as she parked his fancy car in one of the guest spaces under her building and both of them climbed out. As they moved away from the car, Ben's shoulders were a little less straight than they usually were, the purpose gone from his steps.
“That last place we went to today⦔ he said as they walked toward the elevator, “â¦the house was in the mountains. When I saw the car had been painted, I thought for sure⦔ He broke off and swallowed and there was so much pain in his eyes, that Autumn's heart clenched.
“Maybe Pete will come up with something,” she said softly. “There are still a lot more cars on that list.”
“Yeah, but none of them are white.”
“Maybe they were at one time, just like this last one.”
“Yeah, maybe.” But she could see he didn't believe it. He thought their lead was about to come to a complete dead end.
Unfortunately, Autumn was beginning to feel that way, too.
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As promised, Autumn cooked Ben supper: lasagna, salad with a light, balsamic vinaigrette dressing and a bottle of Chianti, which she hoped might lift his mood. Throughout the meal, she was careful not to bring up the subject of their search and what they would do if the car lead faded into nothing.
When dinner was over, he helped her put the dishes into the dishwasher, then grabbed his jacket off the back of a chair.
“I guess I'd better go. Thanks for dinner. It was really greatâcottage cheese and all.”
“Thanks.”
“Tomorrow's Friday. I'll see you in class in the morning.” He started for the door, his shoulders slumped in that way she had never seen them before. Autumn knew he would spend the evening worrying about Molly, wondering if she were truly alive and whether or not she was suffering. She watched each of his heavy movements and suddenly couldn't stand the thought of letting him ache that way.
She reached out and caught hold of his hand. “Are you sure you want to leave? We haven't finished that bottle of wine. We could sit around and watch TV.”
Ben slowly turned, his gaze sharpening on her face. She could feel the intensity, the heat in those tawny eyes as they slowly moved over her. “If I stay, it won't be to watch TV.”
Her heart was beating, thundering inside her chest. She had known what would happen when she touched him, known that although he had banked his desire behind a dull haze of pain, it was there, simmering just beneath the surface.
“Stay Benâ¦please.”
He hesitated only a moment, his dark gaze searching her face, then he reached out and pulled her into his arms. His kiss was hot and fierce, greedy and filled with need. He had wanted her before. Tonight he needed her and every kiss, every heated touch, told her just how much.
She was on fire for him by the time he began to strip away her clothes and his own. She didn't resist when he lifted her up, carried her into the bedroom and set her down in the middle of her canopy bed.
He took off his clothes and stood naked, the muscles in his body taut with need. Gazing at her as if she were the most beautiful woman in the world. He was big, she had noticed before, and he was hard with wanting, his shaft jutting forward in silent demand.
He walked toward her, came down over her on the bed, settled himself between her legs. His mouth found hers, moist and hot, his tongue sliding deeply inside. He kissed her and kissed her, then kissed his way down her body and began to suckle her breasts. His tongue circled the hardened tips, making them throb and distend. Making her ache for him.
She was wet. So incredibly hot and wet.
For an instant, she thought about stopping but they had gone too far and it wouldn't be fair to Ben. As her body arched eagerly beneath him, it occurred to her it wouldn't be fair to her either. She wanted this, wanted him. She couldn't remember ever wanting anything so badly.
“Autumn⦔ he whispered, kissing the side of her neck, the rough silk of his voice rolling over her, making her stomach tingle and tighten. “God, I want you.”
She wanted him too. Dear God, she wanted him so much. She thought that he would take her, bury his heavy length inside as she ached for him to do. Instead, he kissed her again, deeply and thoroughly, then began to trail hot, moist kisses along her neck and down her body. His tongue circled her navel, lapped at her, and little swirls of heat slid into her belly. His hands sifted through the dark red curls at the juncture of her legs and he began to stroke her.
She had never felt anything like it, never felt the overwhelming heat, the fierce urge to join with a man the way she did with Ben.
She couldn't stop the words. “I need you, Ben. Please⦔
He claimed her mouth again, but didn't halt the deep, penetrating strokes of his talented fingers. Sliding her arms around his neck, Autumn returned each of his bold, unrelenting kisses, her tongue tangling with his, her senses filled with the taste and scent of him.
She nibbled his ear, gently bit the side of his neck. “Please⦔ she repeated, determined now, eager for the pleasure that was just out of reach.
Ben didn't wait any longer, just raised himself up, eased her legs farther apart and slowly began to fill her. She was tight. It had been years since she had been with a manâand never one as big as Ben.
He must have felt her nerves beginning to build for he leaned down and very softly kissed her. “I'm not going to hurt you. We'll take this slow and easy.”
But Autumn didn't want slow and easy. She wanted to feel all of him, every hard inch, and she wanted him now. Lifting her hips, she arched upward. Ben hissed in a breath as she buried him to the hilt.
“Christ, don't move.”
“I have to, Ben.” And so she did and then so did Ben, finding the rhythm, taking charge, pounding into her until she couldn't stand it a moment more.
Her body tightened, felt as if it were stretched to the breaking point. Then the world spun away and she flew freeâher climax swift and sweet, filling her world with pleasure and raising gooseflesh over her skin. Ben didn't stop until she reached another powerful release, then a few seconds later he followed, his body tightening, a deep groan rising in his throat.
For several long moments, neither of them moved. Autumn barely noticed when he lifted himself away from her and settled on the bed beside her. She'd been so aroused she hadn't noticed the condom he was wearing until he stripped it away and tossed it into the trash can near the bed.
The sight cut through her dreamy haze like a splash of cold water. She stiffened.
“Take it easy,” he said, running a hand down her cheek. “Everything's just fine.”
“I shouldn't haveâ¦we shouldn't have⦔
“But we did. And it was amazing.”
She started to get up, but Ben pulled her back. “Don't you know it's the guy who's supposed to run for the door when it's over? I'm not going anywhere, Autumn.”
He drew her into back against his chest wrapped his big body around her spoon-fashion and the tension in her body began to ease.
“We've had one helluva day,” he said. “Both of us are exhausted. I ought to let you sleep.” He pressed his mouth against the side of her neck and sweet fire washed through her. “But I don't think I'm going to.”
And then he was inside her and both of them were hot and moving and another orgasm shook her.
Tomorrow,
she thought.
Tomorrow I'll worry about what to do.
But for now she was sleeping in Ben McKenzie's arms and it seemed like exactly the right thing.
S
tanding at the base of the forty-foot climbing wall at Pike's Gym, Ben watched Autumn's skillful, precise attack and tried to concentrate on the lesson she was teaching instead of thinking about the hot sex they'd had last night.
He'd made love to her again early this morning, then left before she was awake enough to start listing all the reasons they shouldn't have done what they did and why they couldn't possibly do it again.
He was sure that would have happened if he had stayed. So he'd grabbed his stuff, gone back to his apartment to shower and change and then headed down to his office.
At nine, he'd gone down to the gym on the second floor, certain Autumn would show up for her class and more eager than he should have been to see her. He was only mildly disappointed when she arrived all business and barely speaking to him. Only the occasional color rising in her cheeks gave any indication that she remembered last night as well as he did.
“All right,” she said, looking over the group of students gathered in front of the wall. “Everything's set for tomorrow. Has everyone got their gear lined up?”
A couple of students mumbled yes. Courtney Roland, the rangy blonde, gave a no-nonsense nod of her head. Ned Wheaton grinned like a fool.
“We're all really excited about the trip,” said Winnie Caruthers, the brunette. “We're supposed to meet in the lobby at eight, right, then caravan out to Snoqualmie Pass?”
Autumn nodded. “The drive isn't far and we can take fewer cars that way. I'll drive. Anyone else want to volunteer?”
“I'll drive,” said Ben. His second car was a four-wheel-drive extended-cab pickup, a new GMC he had recently purchased to haul his kayaking gear.
“We can take my car,” offered Ned.
“Josh Kendall will be going with us,” Autumn said. “As you know, Josh is a certified guide with tons of experience. He's really itching to get you guys up on the rocks.”
Ben could think of another, more interesting itch he would rather be scratching with Autumn but he kept the thought to himself. Besides, he was really enjoying the sport and he was as eager as Josh to get outdoors and try some of the moves he had been learning.
They spent the morning session climbing, Autumn working them hard enough to get them ready, but not so much they would be exhausted when they tackled bouldering problems tomorrow. When the class was over, Ben waited until the others had left before he approached Autumn, who was packing up her gear. He was pretty sure what her attitude would be.
“Good class,” he said lightly.
“Thanks.”
“I thought I'd let you sleep in,” he said, trying to snag her attention, which she kept fixed on the canvas bag in front of her. “Give you a chance to get some rest.”
Autumn made no reply so Ben caught her hand, which was white with chalk. Her fingers were rough and calloused from climbing the wall and the time she spent on the side of a real mountain. It should have been a turnoff but instead it reminded him how strong she was, the way her finely toned body moved in such perfect rhythm with his.
Autumn pulled her hand away. “What do you want, Ben?”
“I want you to look at me and tell me you don't regret what happened last night.”
She glanced up at him for an instant, then looked away. “I don't regret it. Not exactly.”
“I suppose that's something.”
She did look at him then. “Look, Ben. I've really got to run. I've got a couple of lessons this morning, then I'm driving up to Burlington to see my dad.”
“He's all right, isn't he? You said he was released from the hospitalâ”
“He's fine. I just thought I'd check on him. I've got the afternoon off and it isn't that long a drive.” Her russet eyebrows lifted. “Unless you need me to help you make some more of the calls on the DMV list.”
“Pete's taking care of it. If he turns up anything, I'll want you to go with me to check it out, but until then there's nothing more we can do and no use worrying about it.”
She frowned. “You don't really think he'll find anything, do you?”
They had spoken to every owner of a white Chevelle in the state. There were forty-nine other states. The task was daunting and not very hopeful. “Like I said, Pete's taking care of the Washington list.”
“So you're going with us tomorrow?”
“I plan to. I'll have my cell phone with me. Pete can find me if he needs me.”
“We might be out of range.”
He almost smiled. Instead, he reached over and touched her cheek. “If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to get rid of me.”
The cat-eyes shimmered with uncertainty. “Look, Ben. Last night was great butâ”
“But you aren't interested in a repeat performance. Is that what you were going to say?”
“I justâ¦I don't want to get in over my head.”
He didn't tell her he was already in way over his headâhad been since the first time he had watched her climb that wall. He didn't understand it, wasn't sure what was going on, but something was and he wasn't about to ignore it.
“I won't press you, Autumn. Both of us have a lot on our minds right now, but I'm not letting you pretend what happened between us wasn't special because it was and I think you know it.”
She nervously bit her lip. She tried to zip the bag. Her hand was trembling and the zipper stuck. Ben took hold of the canvas tote and closed it for her.
“I've really got to go, Ben.”
“You sure you don't want me to come with you? I'd be happy to drive you.”
She quickly shook her head.
“Fine. Then I'll see you in the morning.”
Autumn looked like a rabbit released from a hunter's snare. He would have asked to see her tonight, but he could tell she wasn't ready and as he had said, he didn't want to press her.
It wasn't until six o'clock that night, as he was sitting behind his desk going over a column of figures on his computer, that he realized he couldn't have seen her even if she had agreed.
Not until his secretary, Jenn Conklin, gave a quick knock on the tall mahogany door and stepped into his office. “It's getting a little late. You haven't forgotten your dinner engagement have you? The country club with Sam and Beverly Styles?”
Christ.
He had forgotten completely. He tossed the pencil down on the desk. “I always check my calendar. I guess I had something else on my mind.” And Ben knew exactly
who
that something else was.
“You'll have to hurry or you aren't going to make it.”
“Thanks, Jenn. You're a gift from God.” Wrapping things up as quickly as he could, he grabbed his suit coat and headed for the door.
“Have fun,” Jenn said as he walked past, casting him a know-it-all glance.
How she always seemed to guess which women he had slept with, Ben couldn't say. What she didn't know was that he had no desire to sleep with Beverly Styles, wouldn't have done it the first time if Bev hadn't insisted on coming up to his penthouse for a nightcap after their evening together. Since Sam was a friend, he'd had no notion of seduction, but he wasn't a saint and Bev was an attractive, sensual woman, a divorcée who knew exactly what she wanted.
Well, it wasn't going to happen tonight. There was only one woman he wanted and that one wasn't eager to let him back into her bed.
He sighed as he waited for the valet to bring his car from the underground lot. He'd make the evening as short as possible then go home.
Ben found himself smiling. Tomorrow he'd see Autumn and renew his campaign.
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All the way up the freeway to Burlington, Autumn thought of Ben McKenzie.
She hadn't been physically attracted to a man in years, not since Lucas Noland, a climber she had met on a trip to the Colorado Rockies. Luke was handsome and amazingly athletic and they seemed to click from the moment they met. She had briefly recalled her disastrous, month-long dating, one-night disaster with Ronnie Hillson but Luke was a different kind of guyâan honest guyâand she believed she could handle a short-term affair.
She deserved to have a fling, she'd thought. Just this once. She would enjoy the two weeks they had together and expect nothing more from him.
When the trip came to an end, Autumn said her good-byes to Luke at the airport and flew back to Seattle.
It's over,
she told herself. Yet she couldn't make herself stop waiting for the phone to ring, hoping Luke would call.
He didn't. Not once.
A fling, she had discovered, could be painful.
She hadn't been in love with Luke but she had believed he cared for her more than he actually did. She consoled herself with memories of two glorious high-mountain weeks and vowed not to do anything that stupid again.
So how had she wound up in bed last night with Ben?
Autumn hissed in a breath. Dear God, the man was the most eligible bachelor in Seattle. His picture was plastered all over the society pages escorting countless women. How could she have been foolish enough to go to bed with him?
But even as she thought of him, she remembered the pain in his eyes, the defeat that weighed him down like a rain-sogged coat. She just couldn't let him go home alone and agonize over his lost little girl.
Or at least that was her excuse.
The truth was that she'd wanted Ben to stay. She had wanted him to make love to her so badly she ached with it.
And she hadn't been disappointed.
Nothing in her experience had prepared her for a night in bed with Ben McKenzie.
She ignored a warm tingling at the memory of slow, heated kisses, hot bare skin and big, talented hands stroking over her body.
Autumn sighed as she slowed and pulled into the driveway of her father's gray-and-white, double-wide mobile home. It sat on five acres a few miles out of town and her dad kept it clean and the property well cared for.
Or maybe these days, Myra kept the inside clean.
Whatever the case, she was glad Max was feeling better. She had spoken to him on the phone every day since the night he had been in the hospital. His continued talk about marrying Myra bothered Autumn only a little. It was his business after all, she had finally concluded.
She wondered if the silver-blond woman would be at the house and found herself hoping she would be. Myra was a good person and a true friend to her father.
If Max married herâ¦
Autumn remembered the tears her mother had shed, the hours waiting for Max to come home, the scent of perfume on his collar when he did.
If her dad got married againâ¦
Autumn felt sorry for Myra.
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It was seven o'clock Saturday morning. The phone had been ringing constantly since six. As Autumn sat at the kitchen table staring down at the photo on the society page of the newspaper, she knew exactly who was calling. Each shrill note made her heart ache and her stomach roll with nausea.
The ceaseless, irritating ring began again and Autumn grit her teeth. She reread the column, which gave a nicely written account of the charity dinner held at the Broad-moor Country Club last night. There were several photos surrounding the article but one stood out above the rest.
A photo of Ben McKenzie in his tuxedo with an attractive brunette named Beverly Styles. The thing that made the picture interesting was the way the woman's arms were locked around Ben's neck. There was no doubt the photo was shot the instant before the two of them kissed.
The phone rang again, a jarring note that pushed Autumn past the hurt and betrayal. She surged to her feet, grabbed the section of the paper with Ben's photo in it, balled it into a wad and tossed it into the trash can.
Dammit, not again!
There must be something wrong with her. There had to be, the way she kept believing men were different than they really were, believing she could trust even one of them.
She didn't realize she was crying until a tear rolled down her cheek. Damning Ben McKenzie to hell, Autumn dashed away the wetness, grabbed her purse and headed for the door.
She didn't want to be late getting to the gym, where her group was meeting for their bouldering trip.
If Ben McKenzie had the nerve to showâ
Well, she wasn't exactly sure what she would do if he did, but an image clicked into her head of the two of them climbing. With grim satisfaction, she imagined herself letting go of the belaying rope as Ben tumbled off the side of a cliff.
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Ben was waiting near the elevators in the lobby when Autumn came up from the parking garage. He stepped in front of her.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Get out of my way, Ben.”
He released a breath. “I guess you saw the paper.”