The Summit (23 page)

The burn of tears rose at the back of her eyes. Ben moved closer, drew her into his arms.

“This isn't easy for either of us,” he said softly. “I know that.”

For a moment, Autumn rested her head against his shoulder, enjoying the comfort of his embrace. On a shaky breath, she eased back to look at him. “You can't change the past, Ben. And I can't afford to have doubts.”

He nodded. “You're right. We just have to keep going. That's the best we can do right now.”

The best thing for her and for Ben.

The best hope for Molly.

 

It was early Sunday morning. The dream had been the same last night, the blond man and the women, Molly and Rachael and little Mary, the newest member of the clan. Autumn was only slightly tired this morning. After they had talked about the dream, Ben's lovemaking had helped them go back to sleep.

“We need to go to Burlington,” she said. “Show the sketch to the people who work in the sporting-goods store, see if anyone recognizes his picture.”

“I know.” They were padding around her apartment, drinking coffee, just finished with a breakfast of scrambled eggs, sausage and canned biscuits with honey and butter.

“Unfortunately, Burlington Sports is closed on Sundays.” Autumn carried the empty plates over to the sink. “It's still a small town. They don't stay open till nine every day the way your stores do.”

“Ah, yes…I remember those good old days fondly.” Ben finished the last of his coffee then carried his cup to the sink. “I called earlier, got their answering machine. I couldn't go today at any rate. It's my day with Katie, remember? We're going to the lake.” His gaze found hers. “I was hoping you might come with us.”

Autumn nearly lost her grip on the plate she was washing. “You aren't serious.”

“Why not? We can't go to Burlington until tomorrow and we won't hear from Watkins until sometime in the middle of the week. I'd really like you to come. I think you'd like Katie and I know she'd like you.”

Autumn bit her lip. This was the last thing she'd expected from Ben. She knew how private he kept his personal life. Why was he asking her to meet his daughter?

“I don't know, Ben…”

“I'll tell you what. You go kayaking with me and Katie, and next weekend we'll go climbing with you.”

She flicked him a glance.
This weekend, next weekend.
She was already in way too deep with Ben. If she didn't watch out, she was going to fall in love with him and he was going to break her heart.

And getting over him would be a helluva lot harder than getting over Steve Elliot or Luke Noland.

“Come on, be a sport,” Ben said. “You're teaching me to climb. I'll teach you how to kayak.”

It did sound like fun and she had always wanted to try the sport. Surely she could keep her head on her shoulders a little while longer.

What the heck. If you're gonna be a bear, be a grizzly, Max always said.

She grinned. “All right, I'll go.” She was wearing jeans, sneakers, and a T-shirt. “What gear do I need?”

“Grab your fleece sweater, just in case. We'll swing by my store and pick up a helmet in your size and whatever else you might need.”

She didn't argue. Ben was practically forcing her to go. He could damn well pay for her gear. She felt the tug of a smile. Besides, she had a feeling she was going to like it.

Autumn ignored the little voice that said she liked pretty much everything about Ben.

T
hey loaded Ben's pickup, stopped to get Katie, then headed for the lake. Autumn could have picked Ben's daughter out of a crowd. He had said the girl looked a lot like Molly when they were the same age. At ten years old, Katie had the same blond hair and gentle blue eyes, the same delicate features.

She was a very pretty little girl who, according to Ben, took after her mother, though Autumn could see a bit of Ben in the determined set of her jaw as they lifted the kayaks out of the truck bed, as well as the quietly assessing glances Katie cast in Autumn's direction.

“Are you my dad's girlfriend?” she asked while Ben was digging the life vests out of the back seat of the truck.

“No, we're just friends.”

“He's never brought one of his friends with him before.”

Autumn managed a smile. “Then I'm flattered. I guess he figured it was okay for you and me to meet. Maybe he was hoping we might get to be friends, too.”

Katie watched her guardedly. “Do you like sports? Dad says you do.”

“I love sports.”

Ben walked up just then. “Autumn's a fabulous rock climber, sweetheart. One of the best in the state.”

The girl's blue eyes widened. “Wow! I've seen those guys up on the mountainside, hanging down off the boulders. Do you do that?”

“I do.” This time Autumn's smile came easy. “I love it. My dad taught me. It's really a lot of fun.”

“What about kayaking?”

“Never tried it. Maybe that'll be fun, too.”

Katie grinned. “It's awesome! My dad's teaching me, just like yours did.”

“Well then, I have a feeling you've got a very good teacher.”

“Dad's won lots of trophies and stuff. He doesn't compete anymore, but he's still the best.”

She thought of making love with Ben and bit back a smile. “Your dad's really good at a lot of things.”

She looked up to see Ben watching her and there was a tilt to his lips that said he knew exactly what she was thinking.

“I'll take that as a compliment,” he said.

Autumn blushed. “Are we ready?” she asked brightly, hoping to steer the subject in a safer direction.

“Kayaks are in the water—all but yours, Autumn. Katie already knows how to get into a kayak. She also knows how to get righted if you happen to turn over and how to get back inside if you fall out. Sweetheart, why don't you show Autumn how it's done?”

With the kayak sitting on dry land, Katie showed Autumn how to get in, then they worked on how to selfrescue. When Ben was satisfied Autumn could handle it, they were ready to go.

“All right,” he said. “Let's get this boat in the water.”

They had already put on their PFDs—personal flotation devices—so they were all set. The lake was placid today, just a few ripples along the shoreline, that moved out across the surface and finally disappeared. A greenheaded mallard and his lady watched them curiously, bobbing in the water not too far away, and a sea gull careened in the wind overhead. A warm July sun shined down and the air smelled of pine and loamy earth.

With the kayaks in the water, Ben reviewed the best way to get in and how to use the paddles.

“I've canoed with my dad,” Autumn said, “so I should be okay with that.”

“Great. We're using SOTs. That means Sit-on-Tops. They're the easiest to master when you're learning. Some of the guys are switching over to them completely.”

She cocked a brow. “But you're an old-school kind of guy.”

“How'd you guess?”

But Ben was old-fashioned in a lot of ways. He was always a gentleman, except in the bedroom where he turned into a total caveman. He used just the right amount of male dominance to make the sex good, but also knew when to let her lead—the perfect combination as far as Autumn was concerned.

Apparently, her body agreed. Thinking about being in bed with Ben made her nipples tighten. Thank God, she had on a life vest so no one could see.

“If everything goes well today,” Ben said to Katie, “maybe your mom will let us try the kayaks in the river. There's a nice easy stretch that feeds into the lake not far from here.”

“I think she might let me. John tells her all the time that it's better for parents to let kids be kids.”

Ben had told Autumn John Cleveland was the man Joanne was dating, a nice guy who worked hard and had a good career with the bank.

“So you like him?” Ben asked.

Katie looked down and shuffled her feet. “Yeah, I do.”

Ben reached over and caught her chin, lifted her face so that she looked up at him. “You don't have to be ashamed of liking someone, sweetheart. I'm glad your mom has met someone nice.”

Katie seemed relieved. A big grin spread across her face. “Are we ready to go yet, Dad?”

“We're way past ready. Let's get moving.”

 

By the end of the day, Autumn was comfortable in the kayak and really enjoying herself. It was great being out on the water again. She hadn't realized how much she had missed those canoe trips with her dad.

All in all, it was a terrific afternoon, though as the day came to an end, she began to notice something odd between Katie and Ben. As much as he obviously loved his daughter, Ben kept a certain distance between them. Autumn thought perhaps it was just his way, but he wasn't that way with her—in fact, he was getting far too close.

She couldn't help wondering if Molly's disappearance hadn't played a role in his relationship with Katie. From what she could tell, Ben always lived up to his obligations where Katie was concerned, but never went further. She couldn't help feeling a little sorry for the child, who looked up at her dad with big, adoring eyes and dropped occasional hints about them spending more time together.

Ben always managed to navigate the minefield leaving no hurt feelings, but still…

“Well gang, I think it's time for us to go home,” he said as the afternoon came to a close. “Katie, you were fantastic. You're gonna be a real pro one day. Autumn, you did great for your first time on the water.”

“Yeah, Dad—she was terrific!”

Autumn grinned. The ten-year-old had already won her over completely. Maybe it was because Autumn felt so close to Molly and the sisters looked so much alike. But Katie was sweet and kind and like her dad, a very good athlete. Maybe somewhere down the road, Autumn would teach her to climb.

She shoved the thought away. Once they found Molly, her relationship with Ben would be over. There would be no reason to continue to see him. Odds were he would be tired of her by then anyway.

Autumn felt a sad little quiver in her stomach and forced her attention back to Katie.

“I have to admit it was really a lot of fun,” Autumn said. “I love being out on the water.”

“Me, too.” Katie reached out to catch her hand. Autumn laced their fingers together and when she glanced at Ben, she saw that his expression had softened.

Autumn smiled at Katie who grinned, carving a tiny dimple into her cheek, then spotted a woman walking toward them. She was wearing a yellow bikini on a tall, curvy, darkly tanned body and had long, honey-blond hair.

“Ben McKenzie! Is that really you?”

Ben smiled. “I'm afraid it's me, all right.”

The woman reached him just then, leaned over and planted a light kiss on his lips. “You are a sight for sore eyes. How long has it been?”

“I haven't competed for at least four years. It's been that long, I guess.” He turned. “Charlie, you remember my daughter, Katie, and this is Autumn Sommers. Autumn, this is an old friend of mine, Charlene Brockman. Everyone calls her Charlie.”

“Nice to meet you,” Charlene said, but quickly returned her attention to Ben and started reminiscing about old times.

Katie leaned closer. “Charlie's a champion kayaker. She travels to competitions all over the world. You've probably seen her on TV.”

She was too sinewy, too athletically built to look like a movie star but Charlie Brockman came close. As she and Ben conversed, Charlene stood a little too close and touched him with an ease that said they knew each other well—
very
well. Autumn could feel her face getting hot with jealousy with ever word.

“Well, we'd better get going,” Ben finally said.

Charlie turned to Autumn. “Nice meeting you.”

“You too,” Autumn said, wishing she had never laid eyes on the woman. As she watched the tall, leggy blond walk away, her stomach did a sickening roll. It was obvious she and Ben had been lovers. And there were dozens of others just like her.

“You all right?” Ben asked as Katie headed for the truck ahead of them with an armload of gear.

“Fine.” She released a breath and wondered if he could tell how much the encounter had disturbed her. “As you said, we'd better get going.” She started picking up gear, but Ben caught her arm.

“If you're worried about Charlene, don't be. I haven't seen her in years, not since I stopped competing in the sport.”

“It's nothing to me if you have.”

His hold subtly tightened. “Bullshit. You're jealous, even if you won't admit it. Charlie and I dated for a while, but that was a long time ago.”

“It doesn't matter.”

“It does matter. Dammit, Autumn, in case you haven't figured it out, I'm crazy about you. I'm not interested in Charlene Brockman or anyone else. The only woman I'm interested in is you.”

She fought to hide her surprise. Ben was crazy about her? It didn't make sense. She wasn't movie-star gorgeous or a world-class athlete. She cast a last fleeting glance at the leggy blonde. “You might think that way right now, but I'm sure soon enough…”

Ben's jaw hardened. “Are you really that insecure? Do you doubt your appeal so much you can't see how much you have to offer a man?”

Her heart was pounding. She was embarrassed he had come so close to the truth and was not about to let him know. “Maybe I just doubt there's a man on this earth who could ever be satisfied with one woman—no matter who she is!” She started marching back toward the truck, then drew hard on her control when she saw Katie standing next to the passenger door.

Autumn forced herself to smile. “I think we've got everything, hon.”

“Maybe Dad will stop for pizza.” She tossed a hopeful glance at her father, who walked up beside them just then.

Ben's jaw still looked hard. “Not today, sweetheart. Autumn's got to get back home.”

It was tempting to run for the safety of her apartment, away from Ben and the danger he posed. But the downcast features of the little girl next to the truck ended the notion.

She turned to Ben, lifted an eyebrow in challenge. “I think I can manage time for pizza. I know a great place not far from here where we can go.”

Ben's dark gaze locked with hers. She couldn't decide if the expression he wore was anger or triumph as he turned and strode for his side of the truck.

 

Ben drove Autumn home after sharing a pizza with Katie and went back to his own apartment. Autumn figured he was still angry over the argument they'd had. Or maybe he had already begun to grow tired of her.

Her stomach twisted into a knot. It was ridiculous. She knew what men were like and Ben was worse than most.

Still, she missed his lean, powerful body lying beside her in bed, missed their passionate lovemaking, missed waking up next to him in the morning.

She saw him Monday in class, wearing his usual tank top, his chest and shoulders newly tanned from their day at the lake. She wanted to drag him down off the wall and take him home with her. Wanted him back in her bed.

She didn't tell him that.

Ben stayed a moment after the session, long enough to tell her they would have to postpone their trip to Burlington until the following day.

“A problem's come up at work,” he said. “We won't be able to go until tomorrow.”

“Why don't I just go up there myself? It's not that far and I'm used to the drive.”

Ben shook his head. “No way. I want to be there. I've got questions I want to ask. Besides, there's always the chance this might actually lead to something important.”

He left without saying more and he didn't come over that night. She dreamed the same dream, then lay awake for hours, disturbed by the dark, familiar images, missing Ben and wondering if their brief affair was over.

 

Determined to keep her mind off Ben, Autumn met Terri for lunch at The Shack on Tuesday. The place was packed this time of day. The faux butcher-block tables were crowded with shoppers and locals. They sat at one of the booths in the back, where it was easier to talk and the fifties music playing in the background wasn't so loud they couldn't hear.