The Sunflower Cottage Breakfast Club (23 page)

And there, standing in the middle of the kitchen, was my mum. She was covered from head to toe in ruined boiled eggs and surrounded by broken plates.

I pursed my lips, trying desperately not to laugh, but it was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen.

‘You've been busy, I see!' I barely managed to get my words out before collapsing into a heap of giggles. ‘What happened?'

‘I didn't think the eggs were cooking quickly enough, so I decided to stick the pot in the microwave. Before you say it, I know metal pots and microwaves don't mix! I just didn't think, OK? Then I checked on them as I was carrying some plates and the bloody things exploded all over me!'

I went to help her clean up the colossal mess. She wiped herself down as best as she could, while I swept up the shattered crockery. For the first time since she'd arrived, the silence between us was companionable instead of awkward. The animosity I'd felt towards her had died down somewhat. Who could be angry at someone covered in partially cooked eggs, after all?

‘I've been thinking about what you said.' I shovelled some more pieces of china into the bin then stood up. ‘And I think I kind of understand. If he was making all kinds of excuses to you about not being involved in my life, you wouldn't want him making the same ones to me. And you're right; the dad I grew up with will always be my
real
dad. I just wish I could've at least met Derek once, even if it was just to hear his excuses. There's one thing I'm wondering, though; why did you write back to Diane saying I'd like to meet her?'

Mum wiped away some egg yolk from her Aztec print blouse and came over to me.

‘I didn't, actually. It was your dad.'

I cocked my head to the side. I'd heard the words coming out of my mum's mouth, but hadn't understood them. It was like they'd been spoken in a completely different language.

‘Dad? Why would he write to Diane pretending to be me?'

Mum sighed and wiped some more specks of egg from her sleeves. ‘He was going to meet up with her on your behalf and have a word with her. He wanted to make sure she wasn't intending to hurt you or trying to replace us in your life. I know it sounds silly, but you really do mean a lot to him. To both of us. We spent so much time when you were younger being terrified that Derek would pop up out of nowhere and try to fight us for custody or shared access. I made a mistake when I had an affair with him, Emily. But I'll never regret it because it brought me
you
. I know I go on and on at you but I love you, you know.'

I could feel a lump of emotion welling up in my throat. My first instinct was to run to the safety of work and everything that had to be done around the B&B. It was what I was comfortable with, after all. Every relationship I had, I seemed to find a way to screw it up.

Yet I didn't. There was still so much between me and my mum that had to be said. The revelation about Derek had completely changed our relationship and, angry as I still was with her, I wanted to fix things.

‘I know I was angry before,' I said, ‘and it'll probably take me a lot of time to fully understand everything you did. But you're still my mum and I love you.'

Mum got up and ran over to hug me. ‘Oh darling, I love you too! And I'm sorry for keeping it a secret for so long. I… I thought I was doing the right thing by you, that's all.'

I held her tightly in my arms as we exchanged apologies and reaffirmed our love for one another. After being so furious with her, it felt good to reconnect with her and remind myself that, even though I could quite happily scream at her sometimes, she was still my mum.

And I bloody loved her.

Chapter 23

Making peace with Mum brought about a lot of other positive changes. She left a couple of days after our massive heart-to-heart and I promised to meet up with her when I got back, as long as there was no inspirational pep talk.

Although Noah was still keeping his distance after our fight, we managed to have two civil conversations when we bumped into each other around the B&B.

They went a little something like this:

‘Hi.'

‘Hey.'

‘You OK?'

‘Yup.'

Perhaps not the deepest or most meaningful of exchanges, but I was happy the ceasefire between us was still in place. On both occasions, he'd rushed off as quickly as he could; heaven forbid we actually tried to make things right or sort out what had happened between us.

Rose's recovery happened quicker than any of us could've imagined. Not content with becoming a whizz on her crutches, she soon began to do a lot of the things she'd done before her accident. On more than one occasion, I went into the kitchen to find her baking a cake or having a tidy round.

‘What have I told you about taking it easy?' I laughed as I saw her whipping up a tasty chocolate cake. ‘Actually, what did the
doctor
tell you about taking it easy?! You should be putting your feet up, not making cakes for everyone!'

Rose smiled and put the cake in the oven. ‘Emily, why don't you make us both a cup of tea instead of trying to give me health advice?'

I did as I was asked, taking the hint that my gentle attempts at persuasion weren't wanted or needed.

‘I, um, I don't suppose you've spoken to Noah?' I asked, handing her a cup. ‘I… I haven't seen him around much lately, so I was just wondering if he's said anything to you.'

Rose flashed me a knowing look and sipped her tea. ‘Yes, I've spoken to him, love. But I promised I wouldn't say anything. Sorry, my lips are zipped.'

I sighed and let my shoulders slump. ‘Not even a teeny, tiny hint for the person who's been helping run your beloved B&B while you've been laid up with a broken leg?'

She stopped to think for a second, tapping her chin and looking everywhere but at me. ‘You make a good point, I must admit… Oh all right, but you didn't hear it from me! And I'm only telling you because I think you make a lovely couple.'

I pulled up a free chair and prepared myself for what Rose might say: that Noah hated me and never wanted to see me again; that I'd committed a terrible relationship slight we couldn't recover from; or that he'd simply had a rethink after my cowardice and decided he just wasn't that into me.

‘Noah said he'd asked you to stay here with him, but that you said no. He tried to persuade you otherwise, but your mind was made up. He said he was really upset about it, but that there was nothing he could do. He doesn't want to hold you back from doing what's really going to make you happy.'

I felt my breath catch in my chest. He'd had the chance to rip me to shreds with Rose, but he hadn't taken it. He'd completely glossed over my being a coward and had made the whole thing sound very reasonable, which proved what a lovely guy he really was. An imaginary knife twisted in my heart and I felt my stomach lurch with sadness. I nodded quickly, trying to keep a wave of tears at bay.

‘Thanks for letting me know,' I said, sounding like I was coming down with the cold.

‘Oh, and his mum's been back in touch to say sorry for her relapse in the pub the other day. She'd had a rough week at work and ended up hitting the bottle, which she hadn't done for a good few years. He wasn't sure whether to believe her at first, but she sounded serious. They're going to try and meet up again soon.'

‘That's great.' I nodded my head, trying to keep my tears from falling. ‘I'm really happy that was just a one-off.'

I got up and prepared to leave, so as not to let Rose see me cry. Her voice once again stopped me in my tracks.

‘He told me he's in love with you.'

My feet rooted themselves to the spot on the flagstone kitchen floor. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, hoping that doing this would somehow turn back time and take those words back. They were the last ones I needed to hear.

‘I'll pretend I didn't hear that,' I replied.

‘You can pretend all you like, Emily; it's the truth. He's finding it really hard not to be with you because he has such strong feelings for you. He knows you're going back to Glasgow to your job and family and friends and that there's nothing he can do to change that, but it doesn't stop him from loving you. I've known Noah nearly his whole life; he's never found it easy to connect with people because of his mum being in and out of the picture. But when I saw you two together, I just knew it was different. You might've been arguing like a pair of stray cats, but anyone could see the connection between you. What is it you're so scared of, Emily? It's clear you want to be with him. Why don't you just let yourself do it?'

I shrugged in defeat. ‘We're on different paths, Rose. There's no way we could make a relationship work living two hundred miles apart. He wants to be here and I… I'm going back to Glasgow. I have a life waiting for me there. What would you have me do instead?'

There was a strange look on Rose's face. So much was going on behind her kind blue eyes, but I couldn't fathom even one of her thoughts. For such an open, generous woman, she kept a lot hidden beneath the surface.

‘If you want me to be honest, I'd have you stay here. I know you were a complete fish out of water when you first got here, but I've seen you change. You seem so happy here and I really think you should give things a go in Luna Bay.'

The words came crashing over me, sending all my neatly ordered thoughts spinning out of control and scattering to the four corners of my mind.

‘I can't just leave everything behind to come down here. I said this to Noah too; I have a job, my family and friends. My whole life is in Glasgow.'

She nodded slowly, staring out of the window at the gently rolling waves. ‘You know, it's interesting. You've said all the reasons you can't stay in Luna Bay, but you didn't say that you don't want to.'

‘Whether I want to or not doesn't matter, Rose. People like me don't do crazy shit like that. We work hard and build careers and get married to people it makes sense for us to be with. We don't jack it all in to move to a village on the Yorkshire coast.'

She got up and limped over to me, using her crutches for support. ‘You're right; that is what people like you
usually
do. But that doesn't mean you can't choose something different for yourself. Just because your mum was too scared to follow her heart doesn't mean you have to be. What do
you
want, Emily? You need to stop thinking about other people and start living your life for you.' There was a short pause before she added, ‘I did.'

My jaw dropped and I stared at her. ‘You did? What do you mean?'

Rose looked down at the floor then back at me, a defiant smile on her face. ‘I left my turd of a husband and a job I hated to come to Luna Bay and open Sunflower Cottage. I wasn't happy with the life I had, so I chose something different. My husband was a drunk who didn't want to work, I was putting in all the hours I could at a job in a bank that I couldn't stand, and one day I just snapped. My mum had left me some money when she died, so I decided to bloody well do something with it. I'd always wanted to open a B&B, but everyone I knew told me I was mad, so I put it out of my mind. I'd been to Luna Bay a couple of times on holiday and, when I decided to leave my husband, it seemed like the most natural place to come to. Thirty years later, here I am!'

She gestured to her beautiful kitchen with a wide, beaming grin. I found myself looking at her in a brand-new light. Finding out that she'd walked away from a crap marriage and job to follow her dream gave me a whole new respect for her.

‘Wow,' I breathed. ‘I… I had no idea, Rose!'

She shook her head and threw a kind smile my way. ‘It's not something I go parading around the village! I'm telling you because I want you to know that you have options, Emily. I know I've been laid up in bed most of the time you've been here, but Noah hasn't stopped going on about you. Even when he was huffing about how much you were getting on his nerves, I could tell there was love there. I reckon you're the type of person who thinks you have to please everyone else around you and what you want doesn't really matter. Am I right?'

I nodded sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck and avoiding Rose's gaze.

‘You might be on to something there,' I admitted. ‘But I'm not like you, Rose. I'm not brave enough to take chances like you were. I have a life to get back to in Glasgow and that's what I'm going to do.'

*

Lucy had her own opinion of my leaving. Two days before my big departure from Luna Bay was due to take place, I met up with her for a walk on the seafront.

‘So Rose thinks you should stay, does she?' She handed me a vanilla ice cream cone she'd bought from the little stand and we continued our walk along the promenade. ‘Can't say I disagree, to be honest.'

‘Not you as well,' I replied with a fake groan of exasperation. ‘Is the whole village going to mount a protest to try and get me to stay?'

‘Yup, there's going to be road blocks put up, human chains formed, so you can't back your car out of the Sunflower Cottage car park; we've got it all covered!'

I smiled at the thought of people actually wanting me to stay in Luna Bay. It was a tempting thought, but one I couldn't entertain for long.

‘Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but in a couple of days I'll be back in Glasgow. I'll miss you all, though, and you and Jake have to come up for a visit sometime!'

Lucy rolled her eyes and shook her head, before realising her ice cream had started dripping down her fingers.

‘Not the bloody same as you being at Sunflower Cottage, though, is it? Glasgow isn't exactly just up the road.'

I felt my insides crumble inwards on themselves. ‘Don't remind me. I'm going to miss you a lot, you know!'

The reminder of my limited time left in Luna Bay killed the convivial mood between us and cast a gloomy air over our day out.