The Sweet and Spicy Regency Collection (49 page)

His plain speaking wounded her deeply. It sounded shockingly like an admission of guilt.

The rumors about her were true. Why not believe society’s whispers about him?

Still, in her heart, she found it impossible to accept that he would be able to take her to his bed and make love to her with such passion while also seeking the attentions of a voluptuous actress or while writing love notes, entreating a former mistress to join him in Bath.

“It cannot be true,” she said, remembering Lord Grainger’s advice to listen to her heart and not her ears. “We must join forces. If you would but tell me the truth of things, I will enlist my friends to refute what is being said about you.”

“You mustn’t do anything of the sort,” he said quickly, “not unless you are prepared to have me formally declare my intentions of marrying you.”

“No! Don’t even jest about such a thing!” How could he still think to take such a damning course of action? Hadn’t she made herself solidly clear that she didn’t want to have anything to do with marriage—to him or anyone else? “I only wish to help you mend your relationship with your family, not rip away your freedom, or mine. I’ll discreetly spread word regarding the truth of your character among some of the most influential society ladies. I am your friend. Let me do this for you.”

“Friendship isn’t enough,” he spat out. “After last night, I can never call you merely my friend.”

“Nothing has to change. My feelings for you are the same.” Why was he being so difficult?

“You came to my bed. You became my lover, Iona.”

She pressed her palms to her searing cheeks. A part of her wanted to run into his arms and live for the moment. Forget about the future. Forget about what may be and what could have been.

“Tell me you don’t feel the same about me,” he demanded.

She loved him. But admitting her love would only fuel his resolve for them to marry. And marriage didn’t fit into her plans for the future… It couldn’t. She’d seen how her mother and the other ladies of the
ton
had given up their aspirations and dreams in order to fit the mold their husbands deemed appropriate.

If she had to do the same with Nathan, her feelings of love would soon be pushed aside by a deep-seated sense of resentment and sadness.

“You are simply my friend.”

“Liar.”

“Whether you accept my friendship or not, it doesn’t matter one whit. I’m giving it to you,” she said to prove that she could be just as hardheaded as he was acting. “I’m going to do whatever is necessary to help restore your reputation.”

His expression hardened. “To talk about me with anyone will only jeopardize your good name. I won’t allow it.”

“You have no choice,” she said, wringing her hands in earnest. She couldn’t understand why he was being so stubborn, so protective. “Why should you have to bear the brunt of these lies alone?”

“Because they aren’t lies.”

He may as well have slapped her.

“Mrs. Jane Sharpes, my mistress,” he continued without sparing her a drop of mercy, “did indeed arrive in Bath this morning and I did spend several hours alone with her in her private chambers.”

Tears sprang to sting Iona’s eyes. “No.” She spun away from him. “You lie.”

He grabbed her arm and spun her around. “Why in blazes would I lie to you about this? What benefit would it serve me?”

She swiped away the tears with the back of her gloved hand. “I don’t know! I really don’t know! Why are you doing this to me?”

His grip on her arm tightened. “You knew when we began this game that I was naught but a rogue. That is why you sought me out in the first place, remember?”

“No…” It wasn’t true. He was lying, even to himself perhaps. “There is much more to you than a careless—”

“You have played a dangerous game, Iona.” His gaze pressed down on her. “I am the wolf in the woods, lying in wait and looking for a tasty prey to come my way. You know from last night’s experience that I’m more than willing to take full advantage when an opportunity presents itself.”

“I cannot listen to this. I don’t understand why you’re saying these things. We should be working together,” she insisted rather frantically. “You need me.”

“I need you as a champion? A wide-eyed innocent?” He gave a deep sigh. His hard expression softened a degree. “You won’t marry me and I won’t take you as my mistress. Which leaves nothing else. I don’t need you, Iona.” He tipped up her chin. The anger in his expression faded. “I do want you to understand one thing. No matter what happens, I won’t ever abandon you to the whims of the
ton
. Your reputation is safe. I vow it. No matter what anyone says. Even if someone admits to having seen you at Goldsmith’s, I will make certain he is ignored. Although you dishonor our relationship by calling it merely a friendship, it is more. In honor of what happened last night and of what we had together, I will protect you. Go back to your world now. Our lessons have come to an end. Our secret adventures are over. You understand that?”

She nodded.

“And you mustn’t do anything rash, thinking you are helping me. I assure you, ruining your reputation will do nothing to help mine.”

She blinked back the river of tears waiting to fall and swallowed hard. “So you intend to spend your time with Mrs. Sharpes?”

“Yes.”

His cold reply slapped her. She twisted out of his grasp and fled back toward the forest trail. She couldn’t stay, not while her heart was splintering.

Why was he saying these things? Why wasn’t he holding her and patting her hair and whispering how he would protect her while painting her lips with his kisses?

“Iona…” he called after her.

The bounder!

She looked down and saw the periwinkle bloom tucked between her tight fist. He must have slipped it into her fingers without her noticing. She tossed the friendship blossom to the ground and, crying in earnest, stomped it to pieces.

Chapter Fourteen

The flutter of Iona’s retreating skirt was still visible through the crush of trees. Nathan sighed. He hoped he’d done the right thing with her.

He knew her well enough to know that it would have been a disaster to press her. For some unfathomable reason, her mind was set against marriage in any form—even after the passion they had shared last night. She seemed to view the institution as restrictive as a life sentence at Newgate. So instead of confirming her fears by autocratically informing her that he intended to pay a visit to her father, he told her the bitter truth about himself.

Her emotional reaction to his rejection underscored the one thing she repeatedly tried to deny—she harbored tender feelings for him. Feelings that went deeper than friendship.

Feeling lower than a slug in the garden, he shook his head and scuffed his boot on the ground.

He hadn’t meant to be cruel. Her constant denial of her affections toward him pricked as sharply as a knife. He’d lashed out in anger.

Would she find it in her heart to forgive him?

Before he had the chance to dissect each and every word she had muttered and expression she’d made, a silky hand tickled his neck. Two long fingers tiptoed down his chest as a breathy orange-blossom-scented sigh tingled against his ear.

“Jane?” He was somewhat surprised she would seek him out in the depths of this bower. Trudging through tall grasses tended to drain Jane’s short supply of patience.

“Who was that emotional creature with you just now?” she asked. A laugh twittered in her voice. “I believe she was on the verge of striking you.”

He almost wished she had.

With a sigh, he gently removed Jane’s arm from his chest. “She is none of your concern,” he said, stiffening. “What are you doing here? How did you find me?”

“Your man, Freddie, told me the where of things…though not the why.” She circled him until they were standing toe-to-toe. Their bodies nearly touching, she caressed his arm. “You are behaving ever so difficult, pet. You haven’t even kissed me.”

“You should have sent a note of warning before making this trip to Bath,” he said. “I would have informed you that I don’t have the time for you today…or anytime soon for that matter. There are too many complications crowding my life right now.”

“Is that what I am?” She grabbed his hands and pulled them around her slender waist. “A complication?”

“Not a complication, Jane.” She was far too demanding to be considered a mere complication.

“Good.” She tilted her head up and smiled. He was struck anew by her radiance. “It would be most distressing to learn that my future husband considered me troublesome.”

He tried to step out of her embrace but she held him tight. “I already told you this afternoon. I need time to consider your proposal. My father—”

“Your father?” A royal pout he used to find charming creased her feather-soft lips. “Your father? You’ve been sniffing around at his feet for the past year like my damned spaniel.” She wagged her finger under his nose. “And how has he rewarded you? Has he ever done anything other than kick you?”

“He has been ill. He almost died.”

“And you’ve been a fool. My patience is running thin,” she said, her voice growing uncomfortably loud. “I am offering you an estate to manage, a fortune to spend and a woman’s body to bed. What is your family offering? Or that young beauty you sent running away from you in tears for that matter? What future can she offer you?”

“Strive to lower your voice, Jane. I will not have this discussion where anyone might overhear. The gossips are too hungry for my blood as it is.”

“That is because you are their beloved rogue.” Her sharp tone softened a degree. “That is all you will ever be to them, a rogue to praise on a whim and hate on another. It all depends on the direction the wind blows or some such nonsense. That is the way of the
haut ton
, is it not? This is not your place. You do not belong with them.”

She leaned against his chest and drew herself up until her lips caressed his cheek. “You belong with me.”

Her kiss should have warmed him. But instead it served as a reminder of those uncomfortably frigid mornings he’d spent with her at Dundas Manor.

He closed his eyes. The image of Iona fleeing with the agility of a skittish colt haunted his mind. Did he have any chance for a future with her?

Probably not.

And yet…

Though his heart might not be engaged when it came to Jane, her marriage proposal was something his logical mind couldn’t ignore, because she was right. She was offering him a stable future and, though she didn’t know it yet, a chance to be welcomed back into the loving arms of his family.

His attempts to reform his reputation had failed miserably.

And Iona…

Pain rippled through his chest. He would do well to put her out of his mind. If not for last night…

“Wynter!” Talbot’s enraged shout cut through the forest. “Wynter! What in bloody hell have you done to Lady Iona?”

“Lady Iona?” Jane gasped and pulled away from him. She gestured toward the path Iona had fled down. “That silly piece of fluff with you just now was the Duke of Newbury’s precious daughter? The same silly chit you followed around for a season?”

“Yes,” Nathan admitted. He turned to his advancing friend. “Talbot, watch your language, a lady is present,” he warned.

“Oh,” Talbot said as he stepped into the fairy circle. He presented Jane with a deep bow. “A thousand pardons, Mrs. Sharpes. Wynter, if I might have a moment?”

Jane conjured one of her coquettish smiles and blushed. She had the ability to produce a lovely blush on command. Talbot seemed to lose his train of thought as he took notice of her charms. He stammered and grinned like an idiot.

“What is it that you want to talk about?” Nathan asked as he tugged Talbot off to one side of the clearing, leaving Jane alone and unhappy.

“Uh…yes, Wynter.” Talbot shook his head like a soggy dog and then grabbed Nathan’s shoulders. “Lady Iona emerged from the forest in hysterics,” he said in a near whisper. “I have never seen her so discomposed. Hell, I have rarely seen any emotion crease her damnably serene expression and never anything as powerful as tearful hysterics. What did you do to her?”

Nathan gave his trademark shrug. “I did no more than what she had asked for. I gave Iona her last rogue’s lesson.”

“And what was that?” Talbot gritted his teeth. He looked prepared to tear Nathan apart. “What did you do?”

“I showed her who I was. And the callousness with which a rogue treats a heart. If she truly wants to be more like me, she had to learn that tender emotions have no place in the world I live.”

She would have followed him into hell otherwise.

Even so, teaching her that difficult lesson had been one of the worst things he’d ever done in his life. Only one other stood above it and that took place on the day he’d entered his father’s leather-scented study and took responsibility for young Miss Posey Hartfield’s pregnancy—his first descent into hell.

“Good God, man,” Talbot said, slapping his own forehead. “When I warned Lady Iona to be strong against the harsh talk she might hear over the next few weeks, I never suspected I was warning her against you. What were you thinking? I thought you were vying for her hand in marriage?”

“She has refused me.”

Jane’s proposal would solve his rift with his family as well as satisfy his need to find a useful profession. He would have plenty of responsibilities with Jane’s estate. He might even enjoy the blessing of raising a family.

Pursuing Iona, fighting to win her heart and her hand in marriage was impossible. Irresponsible.

“Catching that siren, Mrs. Sharpes, for your bed had once been an impossibility,” Talbot reminded Nathan. “What makes Lady Iona any different?”

“The stakes with Iona are vastly higher. With Mrs. Sharpes, our reputations were not important. Neither of us minded in the least what those London tabbies thought of our behaviors.”

“And now you do?”

Nathan gave another meaningless shrug. “I shouldn’t make Mrs. Sharpes wait any longer.”

Talbot held Nathan back. “Have you given up then? Are you simply going to break the poor girl’s heart because you are suddenly worried about what society might say?”