The Sweetgum Knit Lit Society (32 page)

Hannah shrugged. “Whatever.”

“Turn around, please,” the librarian ordered, and Hannah, despite the fact that she really, really wanted out of the library, did as ordered.

“We’ve come up with another plan for you.” Suddenly, the librarian looked a little nervous. That got Hannah’s attention. They were going to send her away. Probably to one of those wilderness camps for troubled teens or a juvenile detention center. She should run. She should run right now, before—

“No need to look so panicked,” Miss Pierce said, exasperated. “We’re not planning anything devious. Something along the lines of … well, like Dorothy’s situation in
The Wizard of Oz
.”

What? They were going to throw her in the path of the nearest oncoming tornado? “Mrs. Farley at Family Services said I didn’t have to go anywhere I didn’t want to.”

The librarian’s eyebrow arched way up, like a cat’s back. Hannah had learned over the last few months to look out when her eyebrow did that. “Oh she did, did she?”

Hannah shrugged.

Miss Pierce blew out a long breath and fiddled with the cuff of her sweater. “Hannah, what I’m trying to say, not very eloquently, is that I’d like you to consider coming to live with me.”

In all her born days, those were the last words Hannah had ever expected to hear out of the librarian’s mouth. “You want me to live with you?”

“You’re right.” She waved a hand dismissively. “I’m sure it’s not a good idea. I’m far too old and set in my—”

“Would I have my own bedroom? Or would I have to sleep on the couch?”

The librarian looked surprised.
Well, score one for me
, Hannah thought.

“You’d have your own room, of course. But I would expect you to help with household chores. Your grades would need to be solid. I don’t demand perfection, but I won’t tolerate a slacker either. And you would need to continue your part-time job with Camille at the dress shop. I can give you a little spending money, but not much.”

Spending money? Hannah almost laughed. Her whole life, spending money had meant being able to buy a jar of peanut butter and a loaf of bread. Maybe some jeans and T-shirts at the thrift store if she was lucky. If she didn’t have to feed and clothe herself, she could buy yarn. The thought made her want to throw up, but in a good way. She might even buy a book or two. A book she could keep for her own and not have to return to the library.

“What do you think, Hannah? Would you be willing to give it a try?”

She couldn’t afford to show too much emotion. If people knew how you really felt, they used it against you. At least her mother always had. But she couldn’t quite banish the smile that wanted to slide across her face.

“I don’t dust,” she said. “I just want to be clear about that.

That’s all I do all day long at that dress shop.”

“Fair enough,” the librarian said. “But I don’t do other people’s laundry. So you’ll be responsible for your own.”

If Miss Pierce only knew. Hannah had been doing her own laundry since she was nine.

“Then I guess it would be okay.”

The older woman nodded with satisfaction. “We can move your stuff after work today. I’ll meet you at the dress shop. We can drive to the McGavinses’ and pick up your belongings.”

Hannah nodded, not trusting herself to speak. The librarian glanced at her watch. “You’d better get moving or you’ll be late.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Hannah didn’t know why the librarian grinned so broadly when she said that. And then she realized what she’d just done. She’d called Miss Pierce “ma’am.” They were getting to her, those Knit Lit ladies. The next thing you knew she’d have a knitting bag of her own to carry around all over the place.

Hannah never would’ve admitted it to anyone, but she really liked that idea.

The February meeting of the Sweetgum Knit Lit Society came before Esther was ready. Since the day she drove Ruthie to the airport, she’d felt as if one of her limbs had been amputated. She hadn’t expected that, of course. Not in the least. She should have been relieved. Grateful even. After all those years of living in the shadow of her husband’s love for her sister, she should finally feel at peace. Instead she felt restless and unhappy.

Everything Frank did these days irritated her. Even though he no longer snored, he was still sleeping in the guest room. She hadn’t told him about the absence of snoring since his surgery. She would tell him soon. When she was ready. When she could find the forgiveness in her heart that had always eluded her.

The Pairs and Spares Sunday school classroom was a little chilly tonight, Esther observed as she set her knitting bag on
the table and took her seat. She engaged in the usual round of greetings and catching up. Eugenie seemed to sparkle. Hmm. Something was up there. She needed to be more watchful. Esther didn’t like to be the last to know anything.

Merry too seemed more at peace. Not long until the baby was born. She had that glow of pregnancy that Esther remembered. No amount of Crème de la Mer could duplicate that natural radiance.

Camille, Esther noticed, had bags under her eyes as if she hadn’t been sleeping. Esther felt sorry for the girl. No doubt she’d been up in the night with her sick mother. They should hire some help for that shop of theirs. More help than Hannah, of course. The teenager was starting to look like a normal human being, much to Esther’s relief. At least her hair color was now a normal dirty blond, and she’d left off that heavy eyeliner.

Then there was the empty chair next to hers. Ruthie’s chair. She hadn’t expected that chair to haunt her, but it did.

“Esther, how’s Frank doing?” Merry asked as they all began stitching away. “Is he keeping up with his cardiac rehab? I know my mother had a hard time getting my dad to do his.”

“He’s doing fine. Very faithful.” Because she nagged him every day. On that point, her plan had developed a hitch. Once Frank had learned of Ruthie’s departure, he seemed to slip once more into the funk that had plagued him in those months before the surgery. But Esther would manage that
problem, just as she managed all the problems in her life—with sheer determination and the refusal to be bested.

Somehow, though, victory didn’t feel as satisfying as it used to.

“Have you heard our news?” Eugenie asked, nodding at Hannah. Esther shook her head, along with Camille. Merry simply smiled. “Hannah has agreed to come and live with me,” Eugenie continued.

Esther shut her mouth to keep her jaw from dropping open. “Really?” she finally managed to say. “How lovely.” But what she really wanted to say to Eugenie was,
Are you crazy? She’ll ruin your life
. But Eugenie looked pleased as punch, and Hannah was smiling shyly and actually tucking that mop of hair behind her ears, out of her eyes.

“Wonderful,” Camille said with the enthusiasm Esther couldn’t feel. “I’m glad that worked out.”

Merry glanced at her watch. “Where’s Ruthie? She’s never this late.”

The moment of truth had arrived. Esther cleared her throat. Opened her mouth to say something and found herself at a loss.

“Esther?” Eugenie looked at her with curiosity, which quickly grew to alarm. “Has something happened to Ruthie?”

“Ruthie’s gone.”

“What do you mean, ‘Ruthie’s gone’?” Eugenie said, a horrified look on her face.

“Not gone as in dead,” Esther reassured her. “Gone as in out of town. I drove her to the airport.”

“Where did she go?” Camille asked, her eyes full of curiosity. “When will she be back?”

Esther’s smile hurt. For that matter, her cheeks hurt, her scalp hurt, and her neck definitely hurt. Facades were heavy armor in the end. They might protect you, but they took a great deal of strength to lug around.

“She’s gone to Africa. Namibia, to be exact. She’s going to teach in a village school and work on a project to distribute mosquito netting and solar flashlights.” Esther only knew that because she’d gone online to read about the program in which Ruthie was participating. Didn’t that show love for her sister? Esther detested computers. “As for when she’ll be back, well, I think in two years. If she doesn’t decide to stay longer.”

“Two years!” Merry looked appalled. Almost as appalled as Frank had when Esther told him about Ruthie’s departure. He’d been devastated that Ruthie hadn’t said good-bye. Esther thought that was for the best. A clean break all around.

A tiny part of her did wish that the clean break hadn’t been of her husband’s heart. Or perhaps what she really wished was that her husband’s heart had never been in the position to be broken in the first place.

“She didn’t even say good-bye. Can we write to her?”

Camille asked. “Or e-mail?”

“Both. I have the information right here.” Esther had
asked Frank’s secretary to type it up and make copies. She placed the pile of papers on the table. “We’ll hear from her all the time. Two years will pass very quickly.”

What was that strange gnawing in her stomach? She’d eaten a good breakfast and her usual salad for lunch. For supper she had cooked an omelet (three eggs and cheese for her, egg whites and vegetables for Frank). There was no reason for the discomfort in her midsection.

“I can’t believe it.” Merry’s eyes welled with tears. “She won’t see my baby until he’s walking and talking.”

“I’m sure she regrets that,” Esther said, feeling as if she should offer the necessary comfort to the rest of the group. Or perhaps she was merely comforting herself since she couldn’t share the truth of the matter with anyone else. That was the biggest price she had paid, she realized with a start, for the life she had led. She was a social leader, the envy of many women in Sweetgum. But she was also absolutely, totally alone. Especially now that Ruthie was gone.

Esther refused to cry in front of the other women. “Should we discuss the book?” she prompted with false cheer. Not that she’d read it. Not that she’d completed the necessary project. She simply had to change the subject before she fell apart right there in the Pairs and Spares Sunday school classroom.

“So what did you all think of
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
?” Eugenie asked, as was her custom. There’d never been a
shortage of discussion, Esther thought, as the others dived into their opinions and insights.

“I understand why Dorothy needed all those other characters to travel with her. She never would have made it to the Emerald City alone, much less killed the wicked witch,” Hannah said, which even Esther had to admit was a mature insight.

“Whom do you think changed more, though? Dorothy or her friends?” Eugenie asked.

Esther looked around the table at the other women as they pondered their answers. Things had certainly changed in the last five months since Eugenie first brought Hannah to a meeting of the Sweetgum Knit Lit Society. Had the teenager’s introduction into the group been the catalyst for all the changes? Or was Hannah’s presence merely a coincidence?

Perhaps a little of both
, Esther thought.

Camille dropped her knitting into her lap. “I know it’s not in the book, but I always cry when I see the part in the movie where Dorothy tells the Scarecrow that she’ll miss him most of all,” she said, and Esther could tell she was thinking of her mother. Esther felt a lump rise in her throat. She’d been close to so few people in her life. Even as she’d resented Ruthie, she’d depended upon her. Though their relationship had never been straightforward, it had been vitally important. Esther understood now. Ruthie was her Scarecrow. Or maybe Ruthie was Dorothy, and she was Ruthie’s Scarecrow. Either way, the pain of separation was just as intense.

Esther wondered if Ruthie felt the same, over there in Africa by now, embarking on a new life so far away from all she’d known. But really she was returning to something she’d known and loved long ago. Which was Kansas and which was Oz for Ruthie? There was no way to know. At least not until she saw Ruthie again and could ask her. Until then she’d just have to wonder.

Camille’s mother managed to stay awake until Camille returned from the meeting of the Knit Lit Society. She knew her mother would want to hear all about the book discussion and the projects the group had made.