The Sweetheart Rules (27 page)

“Then where are we gonna go?” Jenny’s eyes welled, then overflowed again.

He let out a big breath. He hadn’t figured that out yet. He thought of the picture of the baby bear and her hero dad that Jenny had drawn, the word she’d put below that.
RESCUED.
These kids were counting on him to save them, too, to provide them with the stability they had lacked all their lives. If that meant uprooting his life and changing everything he knew, so be it.

He drew Jenny to his chest and smoothed her hair with his palm. She trembled against him, her tears soaking his shirt. He didn’t have a plan, he didn’t have an answer. All he had right now was a soul-deep love for his daughters and a conviction that somehow, some way, he would make this right. “You’re gonna go with me, baby. You’re going to go with me.”

 • • • 

Diana locked up the shelter, then got in her car. It was after six, and the traffic through Rescue Bay was dying down, people returning to their homes, warm dinners on the stove and family meals around the table.

And she… she was going home to a Lean Cuisine and some crappy reality TV shows.

Mike was back at Luke’s with his daughters, for just a couple more days. She’d watched the way he’d talked to his daughters earlier today, easing their sorrow about the dog’s adoption, and seen a man unlike the one she’d met in January.

The man who’d scooped both his heartbroken little girls into his arms and had them laughing five seconds later was a man with staying power. A man who loved his family, and wouldn’t leave them in the shoe department because a pretty girl had asked for his autograph. A man who would put down roots, build a home, and fill it with memories and laughter. A man any woman in her right mind would want to fall in love with, to marry.

But every time Diana thought about taking that next step with Mike, her brain threw out the brakes. She could sleep with him, indulge in this crazy infatuation that’d had her saying she loved him months ago, but anything more—

And she ran like a rabbit at the start of hunting season.

She reached the turn for her street. The thought of that empty house, the echoing walls, the microwaved dinner…

She made a right instead and swung back through town, retracing the route she had just taken. She pulled into the shelter’s lot, shut off the car, and debated. Go back to work to waste the hours until bedtime, or go…

Next door.

To Mike.

She glanced at his rental house, and through the window, she caught a glimpse of him in the kitchen with the girls. Ellie was dancing on a chair and Jenny was standing by the stove with Mike, the two of them working on something for dinner. Something warm and ready and homemade.

Diana got out of the car, crossed to the house, and rapped on the back door. When he saw her, Mike’s eyes widened with surprise. He looked so damned good, wearing a blue polo that he’d left untucked over khaki shorts. He was barefoot, and his long, muscular legs reminded her of that night in the pool. His military cut had grown out a little in the last month. The longer hair suited him well, made his features seem even more defined, his eyes look even bluer. “Diana.”

When he said her name, it felt like honey melting down her spine. She wanted to ask him to say it again and again. Instead, she stood there and offered up a lame smile.

“I… ah…” How did she explain why she was on his doorstep? “I saw you cooking dinner.”

He grinned. “Yeah, the takeout-every-night thing was getting old. Nothing too complicated, just spaghetti and a little Ragú, but I did slice the bread myself.”

“Sounds much better than what I had planned.”

“Let me guess. A frozen dinner alone on the lanai?”

“How’d you know?”

He shrugged. “I know you better than you know yourself, Diana.” Then he opened the door wider and waved toward the kitchen. “Come on in. I made plenty.”

She stepped inside and was immediately enveloped in twin hugs from Jenny and Ellie. In seconds, the girls had her at the stove, stirring the sauce and joining in the debate about whether adding cheese directly to the sauce was better than on top of the spaghetti. In the end, they decided to do both.

They ate, they laughed, and then, when dinner was done and the dishes were waiting, the girls dashed out of the room with a giggle.

“They have this uncanny instinct for sensing when it’s time for KP and they skedaddle as quick as they can,” Mike said. He got to his feet, loading the dirty dishes in the sink.

“All kids are born with that instinct.” Diana grabbed the dish towel and slid into place beside Mike. “A lot of them master it as adults.”

“Not me. I kind of like to clean. I know, I know. It’s a sickness. But it makes me feel like the world is set to rights again if everything is tidy.”

She laughed. “You sound like Betty Crocker or something.”

He splashed a little water on her. “Hey, some women would appreciate a man like me. One who dusts and folds and does dishes.”

It was a joke, but it hit at the heart of the thoughts she’d been having earlier. That she was denying herself the very thing she said she wanted, and closing off a door that she’d always told herself was open, if only she met the right man.

Mike was right—
she
was the one afraid of commitment. Of settling down. Of putting her heart and soul into another’s hands.

She took the clean plate he handed her and circled it with the dish towel. “I saw you with the girls. You’ve really built a strong relationship with them this past month. I bet it’s going to be hard to leave.”

“Turns out I’m not leaving after all.”

She stopped drying. “What?”

He shut off the water and put his back to the sink. “I put in a change of station request to be transferred to the Clearwater base.”

“You’re moving… here?”

He nodded. “Effective as soon as they can put the paperwork through. My ex just ran off to Vegas to get married, and she had no one lined up to watch the girls. I didn’t want to leave them with someone I didn’t know—in fact, I didn’t want to leave them at all—so I looked at Jasmine’s trip as an opportunity. I called up the Clearwater command, explained the situation with Jasmine and the girls, and got lucky because there was an opening. They must have been pretty desperate, because they got the ball rolling already.”

“Wow. That’s… great.” He’d be here, just a couple towns away, and if she wanted that relationship, wanted to take that risk, she had no more excuses holding her back.

Well, she had one. Mike had changed in the last thirty days, from a man running from commitment to one looking for permanence. A home for his girls. He’d want to settle down again, marry someone whose values followed his. Someone who put their children first, all the time.

He’d called her a superhero. Told her she was one of the best parents he knew. But he didn’t know the truth about Diana.

That she felt like a failure every day of her life. That she’d never forgiven herself for the mistakes of her past, and that was what ate at her when she watched her son traveling the same dangerous path.

“That’s great,” she said again, “really great. The girls will be so excited.” She laid the dish towel on the counter and reached for her keys. “Thanks for dinner. I should get home.”

“Why did you come here?”

“I told you. I saw you cooking dinner and I was hungry and—”

“Bullshit.” He pushed off from the counter and caught her hands in his, curling one palm around the thick fob of keys. “Why did you come here, Diana?”

“Because I wanted a taste of that image in the window, just for tonight.” She shook her head, then pulled her hands out of his. “This was a mistake. I’m sorry.”

“Why not have that life forever? With me?”

She hesitated, her back to him. Her breath caught in her chest. “What did you say?”

With one gentle touch he turned her around to face him. Behind Diana, the door; in front of her, Mike’s blue eyes, intent and serious, seeing past every one of her fears. “I said I want to marry you. I love you, Diana. I have for a long time. And I don’t want to let you go this time.”

Oh, damn, now she was going to cry. She’d wanted to make a smooth, clean exit. Thank him for the meal and get back to her own house, without betraying the riot of emotions in her. It was her hormones, coupled with the stress of the last few days.

Yeah, well, now she was lying to herself, too.

He started to move closer, but she put up a hand to stop him. “Mike… don’t. Please.”

“What are you so afraid of?”

“Screwing up another family.” Then she was gone, before she made another foolish mistake.

Jackson stood on the doorstep, his backpack slung over one shoulder. He waited there until he heard the taxi pull out of the driveway and go down the street. He took a deep breath, reached for the knob, then walked into the very house he had left a week ago.

Mary noticed him first. She scrambled down the hall, her nails clicking on the tile, and barreled straight into him. She knocked him back a few steps, and Jackson dropped to his knees, laughing and hugging the dog to him. “Missed me, girl? I missed you, too.”

When he looked up, his mother was standing in the hall. “Jackson?” The word came out half sob, half surprise.

He got to his feet, giving Mary one last pat. For a second, he felt like a stranger, as if he’d stepped into the wrong house. He’d shut a door when he left here, and he wasn’t sure he had the right to open it again. “I’m… home. If that’s okay.”

“Of course it is.” She came down the hall and drew him into a hug. “Oh, God, I’m so glad you’re home. I missed you.”

When he caught the familiar scent of her fragrance as she enveloped him in a warm hug, he was five years old again and running up to her because he was scared or cold or tired. In an instant, his hesitation about returning disappeared. He tightened his grip on her, on the familiar.

“I’m sorry, Mom.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” She cupped the back of his head, even though he stood a few inches taller than her now.

“I’m sorry I left the way I did,” he said, his voice muffled by her T-shirt. “I was so mad at you and I thought you were going to send me to jail or something. And Dad kept promising we’d have all this fun together, but I should have known better.”

Mom drew back and looked at him. “What happened?”

“Dad got a call from his manager. They wanted him to perform at some super important place and so he said yes, and he said I could go, but I’d have to stay at the hotel. He just… ignored me. Like, the first five minutes of being on the boat, he was all cool and teaching me to drive and stuff, but then it was like he didn’t know what to say or how to talk to me. I kept asking him if we could go fishing or swimming, but he was, like, on his phone all the time.” Jackson scoffed. “Then yesterday, he had all these people over for a party and I was just like… extra baggage. I told him I wanted to go back home, and he just said fine, and gave me enough money for a plane ticket and cab fare. Had some guy who worked for him drive me to the airport. Couldn’t even stop the party long enough to take me himself.” He shook his head and wrapped his arms around his thin chest. It didn’t make the cold in his heart go away. “Like he didn’t even care about me.”

“Your father still has a little growing up to do, Jackson,” Mom said, and for a second, it seemed as if she understood everything. “I know he loves you, but I don’t think he knows
how
to love you, if that makes sense.”

Jackson nodded. “Yeah, it does.”

She brushed his hair back and smiled up at him. “You’ll get there someday with him. One of these days he’ll wake up and realize what a gift you are and he’ll move heaven and earth to have a relationship with you.”

All these years, he’d held his father up as the perfect parent, the one who just needed a chance to spend time with him. He realized now that the parent who truly loved him and knew him was his mother. She was the one who had taught him how to read and given him a curfew and worked to get him into a good school. She was the one he wanted to live with, because she was the one who had never ignored him or relegated him to the sidelines. When he was with his mom, it never felt like she was treating him like a little kid or like an unwanted stowaway. It felt like… home.

Jackson hugged her again, tighter this time. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Anytime, Jackson. Anytime.” She drew back, then brushed away the hair on his forehead again, then cupped his face. “Are you hungry? How about we order pizzas and stay up too late watching really bad movies on TV? I hear they’re running
Sharknado
again tonight.”

It was all so simple and ordinary that it made him want to cry, but he was fifteen, almost a man, so he sucked it up and just nodded instead. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

A little while later, Jackson and his mother were settled on the sofa, with Mary sitting underneath them, watching for any potential pizza crust to come her way. On the TV, a tornado was sucking sharks out of the ocean and wreaking havoc on a small town. It was a stupid, crappy movie, but it was also the best night Jackson could remember in a long time.

He wanted more nights like this, and less of this feeling like he didn’t belong anywhere. His mother had been right about the kids in ForgottenTown. As soon as he was gone, they’d stopped texting and calling. Out of sight, out of mind; friendships evaporating in seconds. But now he felt lost, like he was floundering through his life, looking for the right life preserver. When a commercial came on, Jackson put down his pizza and turned to his mother. “Mom, I was thinking, maybe I could, like, talk to someone. I’ve been kinda having trouble lately.”

“I’ve been having trouble, too, Jackson. And while I agree that maybe talking to a professional is a great idea, I think it’s high time you and I talk. For real, about the hard stuff we never talked about before.” Then she muted the television and began to tell him a true story about dangerous paths and bad choices and finding strength from others. It was a story he’d never heard before, but one that explained so much, and by the time she was done, Jackson was telling her about how he was struggling to find his way at Prince Academy, and how he didn’t fit in, and how he’d made bad choices to try to blend with the others.

When he finally went to bed, his belly as full as his heart, Jackson realized he had finally, truly come home. Mary curled at the foot of his bed, and everything was perfect in his world.

 • • • 

Two in the morning.

They say nothing good happens at that time of the night, but when Mike heard the doorbell and came downstairs to find Diana standing on his doorstep in a pair of striped pajama pants and a pink V-necked T-shirt, he debated the wisdom of that saying. Because it was damned good to see her, even in the middle of the night.

“Jackson’s home,” she said.

Okay, so he’d been hoping she was on his doorstep for more than a status update, but he was glad to hear her son was safe and sound. “Things didn’t work out with his dad?”

She shook her head. “Sean also dropped the custody suit. I got a text from him a little while ago. Apparently he didn’t think that it was ‘going to work out to have a kid tagging along,’ as he said.” She sighed. “Maybe one of these days he’ll realize what he’s missing.”

“I hope he does.” Mike thought of the two little girls asleep upstairs, surrounded by books and teddy bears and a promise of a future with their father in Florida. “Because I’m damned glad I did before it was too late.”

She smiled. She looked so sexy and comfortable standing there, her hair loose around her shoulders and those hot-pink toes peeking out of flip-flops. “You’re a good father.”

“I don’t know if I’m going to win any awards just yet.” He let out a short laugh. “I’m working on it, though.”

“You know, just before he went to bed tonight, Jackson asked me a question that got me thinking, and is also what got me out of bed and over here to talk to you.” She tipped her head and a teasing smile curved across her face. “He said, ‘Mom, are you going to marry Mike? Because he’d be good for you, and he’s the kind of guy most kids want for a dad.’”

The compliment floored Mike. He’d had no idea that he had gotten through to the teenager or that he thought enough of him to tell his mom she should marry him. “Smart kid you got there.”

“Brilliant, if you ask me, but I’m a little biased.” She shifted her weight, then drew in a breath. “Listen, I didn’t come over here in the middle of the night to tell you about Jackson. I have some other things to tell you. Things I should have said a long time ago. It may change everything between us, but that’s a risk I’m going to have to take.”

The words gave him pause, but he opened the door wider and ushered her in. “Come on in, then. The girls are asleep and I have leftover cake that my mom baked for me. All serious conversations are better over cake, I’ve found.”

Diana stopped in the doorway. “You saw your mom today?”

“You’re not the only one who waited a long time to say the things that should be said. I’m glad I went, and not just for the dessert.” They headed down the dark hall toward the kitchen. A small light burned over the sink, casting the room with a soft white hush. He dished up two generous servings of cake, then put on a pot of decaf.

Diana accepted the dessert, but didn’t eat. She fiddled with the fork, then laid it across the plate. “You were right about me not talking about the hard stuff. I’ve learned in the last few days that actually opening up the vault that’s my personal space has drawn me closer to the people I care about, not further away. I’ve been so afraid to tell you about myself, partly because I was afraid you’d leave and partly because I was afraid you… wouldn’t.”

“I haven’t gone anywhere yet, Diana.” He covered her hand with his. The coffeepot
glub-glubb
ed in the background, and the dishwasher ran through a rinse cycle. It all smacked of home, of settling down. A month ago, the domesticity would have had Mike running for the hills, but now, with Diana in his kitchen and his daughters asleep upstairs, he couldn’t think of another place in the world he’d rather be. Given that she had shown up at his doorstep in the middle of the night, he was betting Diana felt the same. “And I’m not going anywhere now.”

“You surprise me,” she said. “When I first met you, I thought, here’s a guy who’s going to be gone faster than the sun can rise. The one thing I do well is fall for the wrong guy. I did it back in high school, and I’ve done it a few times since. If there’s a guy out there with no staying power and no commitment, I attract him like a magnet, and then I fall head over heels for him. You know why?”

He shook his head.

“Because it’s
safe
. Because I know he’s just going to leave, so I can have this crazy infatuation and delusion of love, and then it’s gone when he’s gone, and I’m back in my own world again. No risk, no getting close. Nothing real.”

He swallowed the disappointment churning in his stomach. “So that’s what that was between us? A delusion?”

“Back in January, yeah, it was. I got wrapped up in the fantasy and said I loved you, but I didn’t really know you and you didn’t really know me, so that’s all it was, a delusion, a fantasy. But this time…” She raised her gaze to his, and in the muted light, her green eyes were wide, shimmering pools. “This time it was real. I love you, Mike. I really do.”

Joy burst in his heart, but he tempered the emotion until he had finished hearing her out. “And what’s so bad about that?”

She laughed. “It scares the crap out of me, Mike.”

“Hey, join the club. But I’m willing to take that risk if you are.”

She rose from the table and crossed to the window over the sink. Outside, the town of Rescue Bay was cast in dark ebony peppered by the occasional porch light or street lamp. An approaching thunderstorm rumbled somewhere out in the Gulf, promising relief from the heat and humidity. “You don’t want me, Mike. I’m complicated and difficult and damaged.”

“We’re all complicated and difficult and damaged.” He came up behind her, but didn’t touch her, even though he wanted to more than he wanted to breathe. “Oh, Diana, I have wanted you from the first second I saw you. Covered in puppies and soapy water.”

The joke made her smile for a second. She turned away from the window, and back to him, her back to the sink, her hands on the counter. “I’m not all puppies and soapy water.”

“Tell me, Diana.” He brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. “Trust me.”

Her eyes met his, and held for a long time. He didn’t move, didn’t breathe, just waited.

“Only a handful of people know the truth about me,” she said. “I thought it was safer that way, because then they couldn’t judge me or reject me. I thought that made me strong, the whole I-don’t-need-help thing, but these last few days I’ve realized it makes me weak and vulnerable.” She shook her head and her voice broke. “I don’t want to be that way anymore, Mike.”

“Oh, honey, if anyone understands how weak we can be when we’re pretending to be strong, it’s me.”

A second ticked by, another. Diana gripped the counter tighter, then began to talk. “I started drinking at fourteen and drank my way through high school. Got pregnant at fifteen, and that woke me up for a while. I stopped drinking during pregnancy because I was so afraid that I’d hurt the baby. Then when Jackson was born… it got so difficult, so fast. My mother was gone a lot and Sean was unreliable at best, which left me home alone. With a colicky baby that I didn’t know how to take care of or soothe.”

He thought of the early days with the girls and knew how Diana had felt. That whole feeling of helplessness that would fill him every time one of the girls cried and he didn’t know how to give them what they needed. He’d run from that, gone back to base, escaping, just as Diana had.