Authors: Louise Candlish
âIsn't this just heaven?' Angie said, as Ed shrank visibly from the contact. âChoo and I like to pretend we're on a private plane when we're in here.' She settled the dog next to Lara's feet, the wriggling toes attracting an immediate licking. Ed's hands went to his glasses to remove and wipe them with his shirt-tails, something he did when uncertain. But there was nothing I could do to help him: he was out of my jurisdiction, a child strapped into a theme-park ride more thrilling than any he'd braved before.
I took one end of the middle row and Miles, when he was ready, chose the opposite end of the sofa behind. I presumed that Stephen, in the loo and the last to settle, would join his good friend, but to my surprise he opted for me, sitting very close, almost but not quite touching. Having smirked at Ed's plight, I was immediately discomfited, unable to concentrate properly on the opening credits of the film. Then a close-up of Alain Delon appeared and my attention was riveted, for there
was
a likeness to Ed. It was not in facial feature so much as general physicality, a slightness, an elegance. Ed, however, did not stare at people as if he didn't know whether to seduce or kill them.
In front, the women were exclaiming at the resemblance. âLook what you could be doing instead of teaching!' Lara cried. âYou're wasted on our children, Mr Steele.'
âShe's
right, sir.' Angie laughed.
Alain, Edward, sir: there was no end to their pet names for him and, far from being threatened by this, I felt the new girl's delight in having her lunchbox treats accepted as tribute by the popular crowd.
âYou
so
could be a nineteen-sixties matinée idol,' Angie added, ânot toiling in some south London school in special measures.'
âAll Saints is not in special measures,' Ed protested. âAnd, anyway, I can't act to save my life, so your theory's dead in the water.'
I had an absurd vision then of Lara offering him lessons, of the two of them performing together in some am-dram production staged on the lido sundeck.
A Streetcar Named Desire
, perhaps.
âShush, you lot,' Stephen was telling them, and I felt his breath on my skin. Had he inched my way a fraction? I decided I might casually relocate to the sofa behind after a bathroom break.
The movie played on, Delon and Schneider soon joined by Jane Birkin and an actor I didn't know. Miles rose to mix and distribute more of those lethal Martinis. I was learning that at La Madrague glasses brimmed no matter how quickly you sipped from them; it was like
The Magic Porridge Pot
. (Water was not served.) At last I lost myself in the sun-drenched visuals, the careless, brittle dialogue, the sexual tension between the four characters so excruciatingly real we might have been voyeurs watching through the hedgerows.
It
was only when the action turned sinister that I became aware of my own environment again and found I was now the only female in the room, Lara and Angie having slipped out without my noticing. To check on Everett, I guessed, for how easy it was to forget the children in this deluxe adult cocoon (I knew better than to embarrass Molly by actively supervising her). Ed, marooned in the centre of the sofa, had been left with Choo on his lap, the little thing alert for the return of his mistress. Was it as hard for him to watch the scenes unfolding as it was for me? To watch a man drown another? Was he remembering, too, how casually permissive Lara had been about the children joining us?
Beside me Stephen shifted, his thigh touching mine, and I felt suddenly overcome by unease, by the sense that variables were at play in this room â many of them new and alien â that removed the outcome from my control.
âEd,' I murmured, but he didn't turn. Instead, Stephen did, his breath on my cheek once more, and I sensed rather than saw the smile on his lips. That was when my mind took a peculiar turn: I began to feel an awful fear that I was in danger â and that he was the reason. Turning wildly to the door in the hope of seeing Lara or Angie come through it, my eye met Miles's and his gaze lowered from my face to my shoulders, their psychedelic swirls spot-lit by sudden daylight from the screen. His expression was quite fascinated, as if I were a specimen
presented for clinical observation. Now, with both men unnerving me, I sprang to my feet and fled to the cloakroom, my breath strained and dry. Focusing on the whir of the fan overhead, the faint thuds from two floors above, I ran the cold tap over my wrists and counted to twenty, silently intoning the names on the old map in front of me: Sunset Boulevard, Plaza Hotel ⦠Why was I experiencing this irrational turn? Was there some ingredient in the drinks that had caused me to hallucinate (and hadn't I had a similar suspicion during the lunch party)? Or was it the unexpected sight of watching a drowning, albeit acted, make-believe? I'd have done well to do my homework, as Ed had; I could have prepared myself.
Recovered, a little sheepish, I returned to my seat and tried to forget the episode. Lara and Angie were back on either side of Ed. Stephen, wedged now into the far corner of our sofa, acknowledged neither my frantic flight nor my slinking return. Behind me, Miles had sunk deeper into his sofa, eyes on his phone, fingers engaged in discreet messaging.
Afterwards, we climbed to the terrace. Below, the park was in darkness, only the railings and near wall of the lido lit by the streetlights on The Rise â you could just make out the silver lettering at the entrance. The temperature had scarcely dipped, the scent of freesias â or was it jasmine? â full and heady. We were quiet at first, steeped in that half-present mood of film-goers withdrawing from a powerful netherland.
âWell,
that was an interesting love triangle,' Ed said, as if starting a discussion with his class. He sounded sober; I guessed he had found a way to evade those relentless refills. I should have done the same, perhaps.
âI think it works because they were real-life partners years earlier,' Lara told him, and after my odd reaction to the men her earnestness was comforting. âAlain and Romy. They were the love of each other's lives and had that tension, that knowledge. Your body doesn't forget, does it?'
Ed nodded, from politeness as much as recognition.
âAnd then the daughter,' Angie sighed. (You'd never have guessed she had missed half the film.) âWhat a terrible act of revenge, seducing a man's daughter.'
âYou can hardly blame him when the daughter's Jane Birkin,' Stephen said. âEh, Ed?'
âShe was very beautiful,' he agreed, with a trace of reluctance. âThough not a child. In her twenties then, I would guess.'
âBut playing a teenager,' Miles said, and his gaze raked Ed's person as if alert to small clues unknowable to others.
It struck me that the two men had not accepted Ed and me as willingly as their wives, and that this might have contributed to my earlier agitation. Perhaps it bothered them to see Lara and Angie paying Ed so much attention.
âI read that Delon can't watch that film any more,' Lara said. âHis co-stars, the director, they're all dead. It's like the thing was doomed.'
âWell,
it
was
forty-five years ago,' Miles said, in his cool, phlegmatic way. âNone of us lives for ever.'
âWhat did
you
think, Natalie?' Lara asked, noticing my silence.
âI found it unsettling,' I admitted. âIt made me a bit scared.'
âScared?' Stephen mocked. âYou must be of a very nervous disposition, then.'
âStephen,' Angie warned, but I laughed off the remark, not looking at him.
âMaybe I am. I can see why you love it, Lara. A swimming pool is a great stage. It's such a symbol of pleasure, yet you can never escape the potential for danger.' Again, I could think only of Molly.
âDid I tell you I thought we could do some open-air cinema over the road next summer?' Lara spoke of the lido as if it were an extension of her own property. âThis would be a perfect one to screen.'
âYou've got to be kidding! It's a terrible choice,' Stephen told her. âIt's like choosing
Alive
for your inflight entertainment.'
âWhy? Just because someone drowns? Come on.' She scoffed at the idea that someone might not be able to separate art from life. âNo one's going to drown over the road. Not with our crack team of lifeguards. Wouldn't you say, Georgia?'
That was when I realized Georgia was sitting in the hanging chair; to do so without it swaying even a fraction seemed to me a rare feat. Had she been there before we arrived or had I missed her joining us?
âWhat?'
she said to her mother, not so much insolent as indifferent, before answering with a sigh a question that hadn't been asked: âThey're all fine. Everett's asleep, the others are still watching the movie.'
â
Freaky Friday
?'
âNo. They wanted
Mermaid
.'
â
Mermaid on Mulberry Street
?' Lara, momentarily startled, began laughing. âOh, you haven't put them through that ordeal, have you?'
âThey're enjoying it,' Georgia said, quite matter-of-fact. âKids like a bit of old-school.'
âHow awful to be described as old-school,' Lara said, and I couldn't tell if she was offended or just affecting to be. In any case, she'd lost her daughter's attention because Georgia was staring at me, a dawning clarity on her face.
âMum, I've just realized!'
Lara reached theatrically for her daughter's hand, squeezing the tips of her fingers between her own. âWhat? That your parents are dreadful lushes who should be reported to Social Services?'
âNo, I realized
that
a long time ago.' Georgia smirked and, to my discomfort, her gaze returned to me. âNo, I mean Natalie's top. Isn't it from that bag you threw out?'
There was a bewildered silence as everyone turned to look at me and then Lara's laughter rang out again. âI think you might be right, darling. And it wasn't thrown out, it was
donated
.'
âI did buy it from the charity shop on the high street,' I said, annoyed with myself for flushing. I'd thought myself
loosely inspired by my new friend, but now it looked like I was stalking her for her bin liners of old clothes. Well, it explained Miles's fascinated attention, if not Stephen's.
âWhat an extraordinary coincidence,' Angie said.
âNot at all. We obviously have the same excellent taste,' Lara said easily. I knew then that she must have recognized the garment the moment she saw me, and I felt sure she would have made no comment had Georgia not brought it up. That was kind, I thought. Far from being the vain creature supposed by Gayle, and perhaps others who didn't know her, she was in fact very sensitive to people's feelings.
Below, a car pulled up. âOur taxi's here,' Ed told me. âI thought it was a bit late for Molly to walk.'
I hadn't realized he'd ordered one, but had no choice but to follow. I was relieved that Stephen was once more using the bathroom and I was able to avoid saying goodbye to him.
âWhat did you think of the film?' I asked Molly in the taxi. âWas Lara good in it?'
âYeah, it was fun. She was fine.'
Fun, fine: high praise from that age group. The heightened colour in her face did not escape my notice: the evening had meant something to her.
âI've seen photos from it,' I said. âLara's more glamorous now, if you ask me.'
âShe's not glamorous,' Ed said, âshe's just rich.'
âOh, come on,' I protested, âthat's unfair. Glamour is about confidence and experience. Wasn't it Marilyn
Monroe who said it can't be manufactured?' Then, having reached the level of intoxication at which such things got muddled: âOr was it the other way around?'
âAll glamour is manufactured,' Ed said. âIt's dependent on products of one sort or another. Haven't you noticed that no one ever thinks a homeless person is glamorous, however good their bone structure?' He was being a little humourless, I thought. âAnyway, we're far too old to have our heads turned by someone like Lara Channing. Don't tell me you actually believe all that stuff ?'
âWhat stuff ?' As the car sped along the curve of the park towards the high street, I felt quite nauseous.
âThe whole bohemian set-up. The impression they like to give that their lives are so free-spirited and spontaneous. You must see that it's all being funded by a City job â and City jobs are the opposite of free-spirited, believe me.'
âMaybe. Well, personally, I find Miles quite enigmatic,' I said.
âIn my experience, enigmatic usually just means dull,' Ed said, and I frowned at him, not appreciating his negative stance, especially in front of Molly.
Evidently she agreed. âThat's really rude, Dad. You were just his guest.' Which succeeded in silencing him where I had failed.
Once home, Molly safely in her bedroom, I suggested a nightcap in the kitchen. The blind was up, the lights on, and our figures reflected in the black window. All I could see was the patterned top, once worn by Lara. My
skin tingled with fresh embarrassment, yet I knew I wasn't going to throw it away.
âThat wasn't like you,' I said to Ed, âslagging off other parents in front of Molly. Clients, as well.'
âIt wasn't like you not to agree,' he said.
âWhat do you mean? Of course I don't agree, I think they're a great group.' I did not confess my reservations about Stephen, but he was already on Ed's mind for other reasons, it transpired.
âStephen's obviously some sort of cokehead. They were all at it, in case you didn't notice.'
At least he hadn't said
that
in front of Molly. âWhat makes you think that?'
He rolled his eyes. âThose constant trips to the bathroom, for one thing. It wasn't a problem with weak bladders.'
I shrugged. âThey're private citizens. It's none of our business.'