The Tao of Pam (14 page)

He looked up at her and smiled. “I’ll leave if it does. You look so comfortable, I won’t deny you an afternoon of rest.”

“So come over here, and tell me about my mother,” she said.

Zach got up from the rocker and sat on the bed next to Deborah so he could tell the whole story, from the time Ben Lawson laid eyes on her mother and didn’t let go of her hand, until he saw them at the café with eyes only for each other.

“It was pretty cool, watching this guy pouring his attention on her. She really deserves a nice guy.”

“She really does,” Deborah said, sighing. “Where’s he live?”

“Here,” Zach replied. “He’s a townie.”

She pulled a piece of bagel off and gave it to him. “Oh, and you better steer clear of Ashton. He’s in a mood,” she said. “I’m getting another bagel. Do you want anything?”

“Get me a couple of those cookies he made.”

“I can’t wait for my mother to get back so we can get the full story,” she said, going back to the kitchen.

While her family speculated, Natalie was in that first flush of ecstasy that a woman feels when she thinks she might have met her soul mate. Ben hadn’t taken his eyes off her for the last two hours. She’d heard the story of his life with its disappointments and failures and its few triumphs, and she shared her boring existence since Deborah was born and was given up for adoption.

Ben didn’t flinch when she told him the story of Deborah seeking her birth parents, but grabbed her hand and held it as she talked about what it was like to fail at contacting Ted when she discovered she was pregnant and then giving birth alone. She spared no details, including the ride to the hospital and the mess she left behind in the cab when her water broke. He laughed out loud when she told him that she wondered if subsequent riders could detect something carnal had taken place in that backseat.

“So, Miss Borg, I would like to take you to dinner tonight, and it’s already four.”

“I’d love that,” she said.

“Do you need to go home first? Or do you want to go back to my place. I have running water.”

She laughed. “I better go home first. My daughter will wonder what happened to me. If you’d like, I can have Zach bring me back later.”

“No way. I’ll come back to pick you up.” He stood up and pulled her chair out for her. “Even though it’s a first date, I should really meet the family so they know who you’re with.”

Natalie laughed. “Yes, god knows my daughter will worry if I go off with a strange man.”

“I’m pretty strange, too. Crashing into a car is a pretty drastic way to pick up a woman, I have to admit.”

“I’ve never been picked up before,” she replied. The admission didn’t embarrass her, but his response did.

“I can’t believe that. You must never go out.”

“True, I keep to myself pretty much. You might as well know the truth about me. Until I found out about Deborah, and met Ted and Ashton, I didn’t have a friend that I could say I would go places with. Fellow teachers occasionally invited me to have lunch when we would be at symposiums, but that was it. Pathetic, isn’t it?”

“No, not really. I’m the same way. I don’t have a group of men that I hunt with or do sports. I tried a reading group once but gave up on it. Most of the things I do are solitary. But I want companionship.” He turned her so he could look in her eyes. “Will you be my companion?”

Natalie smiled and nodded her head. “I think being your companion would be very nice. It’s a good beginning for any friendship.” They were both hopeful it would turn out to be more, but it was the first day together, so they’d take it slow and easy.

Natalie was incredulous; she, who thought her value was limited to what comforts she could supply to her mother and father, or the limited knowledge she was able to transfer to her students, was attracting a man. And a good-looking man who was employed, no less. Unless he turned out to be a pervert or he expected her to give up her identity for him, she could think of nothing that could detract from his appeal.

She told him where the cabin was so he could take her home. “I know that place. The owner was a friend of my sister.”

“Do you want to come in or wait until you pick me up later?”

“I’ll wait,” he said. “It’s almost four-thirty. If I come back at seven, will that give you enough time to get ready?” She thought,
What’s with this guy? Do I look like I need more than three hours to get ready for dinner?

“Three hours should be plenty. Thank you so much for being considerate,” she said.

He pulled up in front of the cabin and whistled. “You’ve done a lot of work. This place looks fabulous.”

“My daughter’s father owns it, but thank you. I’ll tell him you said so.” She got out of the car and closed the door, looking in the window to wave as he drove off, giving the horn a beep. It was such a nice, corny touch that she laughed as she was walking up the steps to the front porch. She didn’t see Ashton sitting there, waiting.

“No kiss?” he asked. She could tell he was steaming mad.

“Oh, hi, Ashton. What’s up?”

“Just waiting for you. I think it’s pretty nervy of you to come up here as our guest and take off with a stranger on the first day.”

Natalie stopped on her way to the door. Echoes of his attack on Pam Smith the year before came flooding back to her. Was Ashton getting ready to pull that same number on her? If he was, she wanted a witness.

“Hold that thought, okay?” She stuck her head in the door, and Ted was sitting on the couch, watching baseball. “Ted, could you come here for a minute?”

Ashton was swearing under his breath.

“Sure. What’s up?” Ted asked as he walked out on the porch. He sat next to Ted on the log swing.

“Ashton, why not repeat your question now?”

“You’re really a bitch, Natalie,” he said.

“Ashton, knock it off!” Ted exclaimed. “That’s even over the top for you.”

“Ask me in front of Ted,” Natalie said.

“Okay, what’s going on,” Ted demanded.

“I said she had a lot of nerve coming up here as our guest and then taking off with that guy,” Ashton said, trying but failing to leave the whine out of his voice.

“You were kidding, right?” Ted asked.

“No, as a matter of fact, I wasn’t! I do think she has a lot of nerve. She takes advantage of our generosity, and I think it sucks that the first creep who comes along and shows her a little attention, she’d give up spending an afternoon with us for him.”

Deborah and Zach were at the screen now, listening to the argument.

“I am truly sorry if you think I take advantage of you. I thought it was mutual. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I’ll spend a night in this cabin now, so it’s a nonissue.”

“Mother, where will you go?” Deborah said. “I’ll go too because I’m not staying without you.”

Ted stood up and put his arm around Natalie. “You both will stay; no worries, okay? Ashton is the one not staying here.” He turned to look at Ashton. “Pack up, and let’s get ready to leave. Zach, you up to a two-hour ride home?”

Zach didn’t want to leave, but he saw the wisdom of what Ted was doing. “Yes, I sure am,” he said.

“I am not leaving!” Ashton said angrily. “I did all the work getting this place ready to occupy. Why would
I
leave it?”

“Because my daughter and her mother planned on staying here for the entire summer, that’s why. And you invited yourself to tag along. So if anyone leaves, it’s going to be you. I only wish I could get you home on your own so the rest of us didn’t have to have our weekend disrupted.”

Without warning, Ashton burst into tears. Sobbing like a girl, he got up from the swing and rushed through the group, banging the screen door.

“I better go attend to Norma Desmond,” Ted said. “Relax, no one is going anywhere tonight.”

“Except for me,” Natalie whispered to Deborah. “I have a date for dinner.”

Chapter 10

For the second time that day, Lisa pulled into her mother’s beach house driveway with baby Megan in the car seat, cooing and babbling away. “Here we are again, baby Megan!” She put the parking brake on and got out of the car; Nelda in the window was waving like a mad woman.

“Noni!” Lisa yelled. Bernice got in the window and started waving, too. “Bubby!” She ran in the house with Megan on her hip, yelling for her grandmothers. The women, suddenly spry, got to the front door and grabbed for Lisa and the baby before she was even over the threshold. As was the norm, Lisa and Bernice started crying the moment they were in each other’s arms. Bernice crying for the length of time that had passed between seeing the tiny newborn, who was now a six-month-old, and how much she’d changed. For Lisa, seeing her grandmother looking so old made the passing of time real. They were all getting older, and soon, Nelda and Bernice would be dead. She made a commitment in her heart at that moment that she’d visit her grandmothers, or have them to her spacious house, at least once a week. This every-six-months crap was for the birds. Pam heard the commotion and walked in from the veranda.

“Hey there,” she said, leaning in for a hug. Nelda and Bernice took Megan and disappeared. Lisa wouldn’t worry about the baby for several hours. “What’s going on?”

“Do you have a second, Mom? I really don’t want to interrupt your party.”

Pam pulled her into her bedroom. “Yes, I have a second. Where’s Ed?”

“He’s with his parents, getting some history from them. Mom, we think he has a mild form of mental illness. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. I could have investigated it and then made some decisions based on facts. He’s done so well up until now, but I’m afraid he might be at the end of himself. It’s like he has operated at one thousand percent and is worn out.”

Pam didn’t say anything. She thought back over the past year and didn’t see any warning signs that he might need extra help. Regretfully, everything she’d seen, she’d blamed on her daughter.

“Tell me what makes you think this,” Pam said.

“If you Google it, you’ll see he is classic. He’s socially inept. We have no intimacy in our relationship because he isn’t capable of it. He’s a loyal and responsible parent, but not able to respond to Megan because he lacks empathy. He’s anal compulsive about his workspace and his personal belongings, I mean in the extreme.

“Have you ever tried to have a conversation with him? It’s impossible. He can talk in detail about stupid stuff, but to share a give and take of information, forget it. He tried so hard to be interested in me, but only to a certain point, and that was all he could force. I think for the past year he’s been doing a good job acting normal, but now he’s at the end of his rope and can’t do it anymore. This arrest is almost a relief to him.”

Pam took Lisa’s hand and held on to it, not knowing what to say. Nothing she could do would make it better for her daughter. “As soon as Dan comes in, you can talk to him. I’m sorry I wouldn’t let you speak to him earlier, but a big group of people had just arrived.”

“I understand,” Lisa said. “What am I going to do?”

“You know, now may be just the time to tell you about an idea I had.” She told Lisa about Catherine’s decision to stop cooking at the farm kitchen and that they were looking for someone to take it over.

“Dan doesn’t think it’s something I’d like, but I think it’s right up my alley. I could use your help. You can bring Megan. It’s not far from your house, either. Catherine will be here Monday, and we’ll talk to her then.”

Lisa frowned; her mother in a soup kitchen environment was not something she could visualize, and it seemed like a weird request to bring up in the middle of Ed’s problems. But she’d reserve her comments until she had all the facts.

“Okay, Mom, whatever I can do to help, I will.”

Pam hugged her. It was a testimony to Lisa growing up that in the midst of all the pain she was experiencing, to be able to think of someone else.

While Lisa was having her talk with Pam, Ed’s parents were diagnosing him. Gladys was reading about mental illness on the laptop while Big Ed read over her shoulder, each description more explanatory than the last.

“I told you there was something wrong with him,” Big Ed said.

“Give it a rest, will you, please? What good is that going to do? So you told me; you didn’t do anything about it, did you? Get over it.

“We both knew there was something not right with our son, yet we did nothing. The teachers complained, and we made excuses for him instead of getting him help. As long as he was busy, we were complacent. Now we need to find a way to help him,” Gladys said.

“I’m sorry. You’re right, as usual,” Big Ed replied. “Where is he, anyway?” He got up and walked out into the hallway, calling his son.

“What’s up, Dad?” he said, walking out of the den, looking disheveled. “I fell asleep.”

“Let’s get this attorney on the phone and see what we have to do next,” Big Ed said.

“He’s not home from work yet,” Ed replied. “Pam said he’ll call here as soon as he gets to the beach. There’s nothing we can do but wait.”

Gladys couldn’t believe the boyfriend was the attorney they would have to depend on, privacy just leaping out the window. Hoping mental illness was all they had to contend with, Ed was glassy eyed and seeming disoriented but coherent. What if there was more at play here?

“Well, let’s go back to the beach, then, since it appears that’s where our help is coming from. And I want to see my granddaughter,” Gladys said. But she was thinking,
Nothing like having those snobs know that my son is a kook.

***

Just as Pam was beginning to think it might’ve been a mistake having so many people come for the entire weekend, things got more confusing. Nelda came out of the children’s wing, rubbing lotion into her hands. “What’re you up to, Mother?” Pam asked, making coffee.

“The baby is in her crib, having a nap, and Bernice is finally sleeping. After we were up all night, she never did fall asleep until now. I think she’s failing. I don’t mind taking care of her, but we had better think about putting her in the nursing side of the center. I’m too young to be her nursemaid. There are still places I’d like to see that I can’t drag her to.”