The Tempting Touch Of Fire (Elemental Awakening, Book 1) (16 page)

I slowed my pace at the sight of him bowed, head low in respect and deference. I stared at Theo's butler unable to make a sound, my heart pounding in my head, my lungs screaming for air and my stomach contents demanding to be let out.

I muttered an incoherent word or two, God alone knows what I said, and bounded up the stairs to my bedroom. Slamming the door, I was relieved to find the entrance between Theo's and my rooms fixed and locked. I threw myself on the bed, pulling a pillow to my face and screamed my frustration and fear into its stuffing.

What the hell was I? No longer human, but also no longer simply a
Gi;
an
Ekmetalleftis
like those
Pyrkagia
who had glared at me. I was more... and it frightened me. It scared me so much that I contemplated things I should never have contemplated at all. Fear can be crippling, can make you into someone you are not. Add confusion and exhaustion into the mix, and you've got a volatile cocktail of emotions that rock your soul and shatter your resolve.

I saw no end to this nightmare. The longer I remained in it the more terrifying it became. What would I find out next? What would happen to make me break completely? I was teetering on the edge of a sharp knife and I
wanted
that knife to slice me. Because surely the pain of actual injury was better than the pain of what I now felt.

I realised I was shaking, my body was violently shuddering as though I was having a fit. I guess, in some ways, I was. My mind was rebelling, my body was manifesting that rebellion in uncontrolled movements that left me spent. I had screamed and screamed when I grabbed that pillow. No tears. There were not enough tears to ease this. I was beyond crying. I was in a place that was bereft of the ability to weep. But I was not beyond mourning yet. And that mourning left me utterly exhausted.

I dozed off at some stage, my mind numb, my body aching in a strange way that let me know I was alive, when I'd really rather not be. I wanted to pretend this hadn't happened to me. I wanted to stop the desperate, yet useless questions to seek answers to how, why, what.

There were no answers. Not that I could see. And accepting that was a lot harder than I had thought it could be. I'm a practical person, but this... problem, was beyond my capacity to practically take. I had searched for meaning in something that was not meant to be.
I
was not meant to be.

I knew when Theo had come for me. I knew when he entered the room. He didn't use his
Stoicheio
, he didn't need to in order to elicit a response from my body. Simply walking into a room was enough for my senses to come alive. A sobbed laugh sprang to my lips, before he'd even reached the side of the bed where I was curled up in a ball; back to the door he'd used. Even when the rest of me had shut down, Theo Peters was able to make part of me feel alive.

The bed dipped at my back, letting me know he'd sat himself down there. A warm, large hand fell on my hip, the other brushed hair from my face.

"Will you eat something?" he asked, quietly.

I shook my head to say no.

"You must keep your strength up," he insisted.

"Why?" My voice sounded raw from the screaming.

"Because you used significant effort to retrieve Nico from the Earth. Plant life will boost your
Stoicheio
, but the part of us that is in human form, is taxed beyond reasonable measure when we call on our powers to that degree."

I did feel drained, despite having spent a good twenty minutes with my trees prior to retrieving - as Theo put it - Nico. But stomaching food right now was an impossibility. Nausea would make me feel worse, would make me remember what I had become. A freak. More of a freak than your average freaky
Ekmetalleftis
. What I needed was to forget.

"I don't want to eat," I said, forcing myself to speak the words. Words that I knew would lead us somewhere we hadn't yet been.

Theo's hands continued a soft, tender dance on my body. One on my hip. One in my hair. He didn't touch me anywhere else. But I craved for him to.

"What do you want,
Oraia?"
he whispered.

Heat rose up my cheeks giving me away. So familiar and usually so unwanted, but right now, the colour said more than my vocal cords could achieve. Theo made a low, hungry sound in the back of his throat.

"Tell me, don't make me guess," he persisted, moving closer, so his hip rested against my rear. I rolled to my back, making his hand at my hip shift. It now rested on my thigh, high up near the V of my legs. His fingers flexed, digging into the flesh slightly. His eyes stared at where he touched my body.

"I want to forget," I whispered, the words barely making it past my throat.

Theo's eyes lifted to my face and I almost lost all courage. How could someone look so desperate, so eager and yet so pained? With a shaky hand I reached up to run a finger along the edge of his firm jaw. He breathed heavily above me, but leaned a little closer to my touch.

"What do you want, Casey?" he asked, using my actual name, making this... real.

This was it. This was the moment I did something I had never been able to do before. Maybe, because of everything that had happened, I was able to face up to it. Find the necessary courage to ask for what I wanted, instead of running away with pink cheeks and a heavy heart. Had I not become this creature, would I never have found that bravery to reach for what I desired most in this world right then?

"You," I whispered, watching him close his eyes languidly, swallow visibly and inhale deeply through his nose. "I want all of you."

"Are you sure?" Theo asked, his face tipped down to look me in the eyes.

My heart beat like bongo drums, my throat felt so dry I had to lick my lips and try to swallow to soothe it. My breathing was choppy and I think I may have started sweating. But despite the obvious nervous reaction to the situation, I knew I wanted this. I wanted it so much that I was shaking with the desire to have my wish fulfilled.

"Yes." I breathed the word out. His lips tipped up at the edges, his eyelids grew a little heavy and he made a sound of contentment at the back of his throat.

"Come," he said, standing upright from his position beside me on the bed. He held out his hand to me. "We'll take this very slowly,
Oraia
, I promise you that. But from the moment I laid eyes on you I have wanted this beyond all reason. Once we start I will not want to stop."

The honesty in his words was jarring. He held his hand out, palm up in invitation, but once I accepted the offer there would be no going back. Oh, I was sure, if I freaked out, he'd stop. But he was letting me know that this was the line drawn in the sand, and if I chose to cross it, there was no pretending that I hadn't wanted to anymore. There was no denying that
I
had chosen this path, he hadn't pushed me into it. I think it was important to him that I understood that before we proceeded further. I think he had always wanted me to be the one who made the first move.

I suddenly felt extremely liberated by that fact. Theo could have used his
Stoicheio
to achieve what he desired, but he'd respected and cared for me enough to let me choose.

My hand slipped into his and a brief flash of relief washed his handsome face. His eyes sparked gold and his fingers gripped me tighter, as he pulled me to my feet.

"I want to see you," he murmured, huskily. "All of you."

Oh dear God, I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to refuse the request. I had never been naked with another man before and it thrilled me and terrified me at the same time. What if he didn't like what he saw?

He walked backwards towards my bathroom, his hand still wrapped around mine, his eyes never leaving my face. There was a glint of anticipation evident in his gaze, mixed in with a hell of a lot of hunger and desire. I had the sudden image of a lamb being caught by the lion. But this lamb wanted the lion's touch. This lamb walked willingly into the lion's den.

Once we crossed the threshold into the tiled ensuite, Theo reached over my shoulder and gently pushed the door closed at my back. He moved backwards, dropping my hand and leaning against the vanity. His eyes trailed slowly over my frame.

"Do you think you could strip for me?" he asked, voice low and sexy.

I shook my head emphatically to say no. He smiled reassuringly.

"There is much delight to be found in giving your lover something he desires,
Oraia
. Even when that something seems so very hard to do."

He reached up and undid a button on his jacket, his fingers deftly slipping the dome through the buttonhole. The next button followed suit. I was captivated, mesmerised. And they were only freaking buttons, what would I do when faced with a naked Theo before my eyes?

The jacket slipped down his shoulders and he gathered it up and lay it on a seat in the corner of the room. He was still overdressed when he turned back to me, but didn't pause before he began to undo his tie. It was a black bow-tie, it unravelled to reveal short wavy ends. He tugged it free of his collar and tossed it in the chair.

"Are you enjoying watching?" he asked, hesitating at the top button of his white shirt.

I nodded, and then felt such hot flames lick up my cheeks that I was sure all
Pyrkagia
could sense my embarrassment.

"Then do you not think I would like the same?" he asked, cheekily I thought.

I let a small amused breath out and felt my shoulders relax, ever so slightly. My shaky hands reached for the zip on my hoodie. I could do this. One layer, just to not appear like a frozen dork. The zip sounded way too loud in the small confines of the bathroom.

Theo undid the top button of his shirt. The hoodie came undone and hung open, still on me. A second button on his shirt came undone, then he paused, eyes on mine. I worked to keep my breathing at least a little regular, I had no hope of him not seeing his effect over me, but I was valiantly trying to control it somewhat. I slipped my arms out of the hoodie and tossed it over the same chair his jacket and tie lay on.

A third button on his shirt came undone. He stopped.

I was wearing my yoga pants, a fitted singlet top and my black sneakers and socks. As well as underwear, but I was trying not to get too far ahead of myself right now.

"I've seen you with your shirt off already," I said, rather boldly and bravely I thought.

"Your point?" he asked, still not moving to undo a further button on his shirt.

"Well, it seems cruel to torture me like this, when it's something I have already had the pleasure of seeing."

"You think, because my chest is not foreign to you, that I should simply strip down to my trousers and not make you reciprocate, or pay for the privilege each time you wish to view it again?"

Huh. What did I say to that?

"Cassandra. Every single time I get to see you naked, I
want
you to make me work for it. The honour of viewing your perfection should not be received without due regard. I would never take advantage of your beauty, simply because you once let me see you bare. I will
always
show you how much I value the moment, regardless of how familiar we become."

He spoke as though this experience would be repeated, as though he had every intention of seeing me naked again and again. Not as though we had a time limit placed upon us. Not as though I was his kind's enemy and we would never be able to be this intimate again. But as though this was the start of something special, something he had every intention of pursuing indefinitely from here on in.

It was a lovely feeling. But it was merely a ruse. Still, for now, right in this second,
in
this moment
, I would accept the artifice, because I could no further deny myself Theo, than I could believe I was human still.

I reached down and grasped the edges of my singlet, then before I could think better of it, lifted my arms and pulled the flimsy material over my head. Cold air hit my bare stomach, then wrapped around my taut nipples through the lace of my bra.

Theo was breathing heavily and wasn't even trying to hide that fact. I crossed my arms protectively over my breasts and Theo growled out a sound of annoyance. I took a step back as though he was about to attack and watched as he battled to make the gold, that had suddenly appeared in his eyes, dim. That muscle along his jaw flexed and his breathing became even more rapid.

"I will not harm you," he rasped. I wasn't sure I could believe him right then. "But never hide yourself from me." His fingers went to the remaining buttons on his shirt and he made quick work of releasing them. The shirt slipped off his arms, once he'd removed the cuff-links and undid the cuffs, and he tossed it to the floor by the chair.

He paused, eyes sweeping my still covered frame, and then started to work on his trousers. I wasn't sure whether he was speeding things along because he couldn't stop himself from having me now - and that unfortunately did scare me, even though I didn't want to be scared - or whether he was speeding things along so that he'd be naked, and I would feel better about my nudity in front of him. I was hoping it was the latter, but my skittish heart was sure it was the former.

Within seconds I had my first view of a fully naked man.

Oh my God. He was glorious, but in a way I wanted to hide from all that beauty. It didn't make any sense, he was the one fully naked, but I was the one turning crimson from head to toe. My eyes ran over his body and even though I told myself to look away, they wouldn't obey me. He had muscles in places I didn't know people had muscles. One particular spot was so intriguing I stared at it for a full minute, I think. Just above his hip bones, beneath where his abs began. And the abs were pretty impressive, but what was that muscle called, that dipped down on either side of his pelvis, framing the perfection of the man?

I bit my lip and forced myself to look elsewhere, but there was just so much to take in. I thought I'd be caught in a trance looking at his arousal, but my mind seemed to be blanking on that part of his body and taking its sweet time to catalogue all the rest of him instead. His thighs were impressive, I think both of mine together weren't quite as wide as one of his. I'd seen his chest before, and I took my time to reintroduce myself to that stunningly gorgeous stretch of flesh as well.

He was a bronze Adonis, no tan line evident, his colouring was all natural, seamless, beautiful. I had the sudden desire to taste all of that magnificent golden skin. Lick it. Bite it. Suck it.

Theo, clearly seeing my reaction, said in a deeply silky voice, "What are you imagining doing to me,
Oraia
? Please, put me out of my misery and tell."

My eyes flicked up to the amused hazel of his. I licked my lips and he cocked his head, a smirk beginning to form on that lush mouth.

"Sweet
Gi
," he murmured. "Did you want to taste me?"

Oh good Lord, how did he know
that
? He started chuckling, a deeply arrogant sound to my ears right then. He reached out a hand and flexed his fingers.

"Casey," he said, when I didn't respond after a moment. "Trust me."

Could I?

Yes. For some reason - and I guess I wouldn't be considering losing my virginity with the man if I didn't - I trusted him.

I stepped haltingly towards him and took the offered hand. He brought my fingers to his chest, laid my palm flat with his above it, pressing slightly to make sure I didn't move away.

"Here?" he asked. Oh dear.

He shifted my hand, making my palm rub over his flesh, making me feel every... single... muscle and ridge.

"Or here?"

He had stopped just above his belly button, directly between the rise and fall of his abs. I was drowning. But strangely wanting the sensation to continue, even though my heart was frantically beating in a world all of its own.

"Maybe not," he murmured, shifting our hands down further.

I thought he was going to make me grasp him
there
. I thought he was going to bypass the spot I had been drooling over and that I wanted with ever fibre of my body to touch. But he knew what he was doing, he probably knew from the very start where I had been fixating my gaze and mind upon. Our hands shifted sideways until he wrapped my fingers and palm around the ridge of one of those delicious, enticing, absolutely mind-blowing muscles on either side of his hips.

"Little
Gi
," he whispered, leaning forward so his breath could wash the hair at the side of my face. "Please kiss me here."

A strangled sound left my lips. It would have been amusing if I wasn't desperately trying to breathe right then. His hand felt so hot against the back of mine, his skin, under my palm and fingers, felt like velvet which had lain in the sun for too long. A jolt of something primal shot up my arm, down my torso and landed directly between my thighs.

I was dying. There was no other word for what I was feeling. But before I died I'd damn well kiss
that
spot.

I was on my knees before him without realising I'd moved. My hand still resting over that muscle, the ridge of it marking my palm for all eternity, I was sure. He removed his hand from mine and laced the fingers of it through my hair, then ever so gently pulled my face towards my hand. Somehow he knew I needed a little more encouragement, and he knew not to delay in offering it up, because I was sure I was about to freeze.

My hand moved and wrapped around his hip, fingers digging into his flesh. My other hand had somehow made the necessary motions to bring it up on the opposite side, so both hips were grasped by me. I studiously ignored his straining erection, even though it jerked with every new movement I made. If I gave it purchase, I would stop. And nothing was stopping me from tasting Theo right there.

"What's this muscle called?" I asked, from out of freaking nowhere. My voice sounded strange to my ears; husky, low. Foreign.

"Oblique," Theo rasped above me, sucking in air as I shifted a finger to run along that ridge.
Oblique
. I liked that.

I chanced a glance up his torso to look at his face. I don't know why I did, I just needed reassurance that what I was doing wasn't anything wrong. Oh sweet heaven, that was a mistake. He looked... lost. In a way I had never seen Theo look before. Lost and at home at the same time. In awe and desperately pained simultaneously.

"Should I stop?" I asked, unsure how to feel about that.

"Dear God no," he breathed, running a hand softly down my hair, cupping my face. "Please," he begged and that's all it took for me to find the last little bit of courage I needed.