The Texas Twist (34 page)

“No way.”

“Radar,” said Allie, “come on, be smart. It's time to cut losses.”

Vic chimed in, “She's right, Radar. It's just a thing. Since when do you care about things?”

Radar seemed to be parsing his thoughts. After a moment's inner struggle, he shrugged and said, “What the hell.” He pulled the ring out of his pocket and tossed it to Jessup, who snatched it out of the air and stashed it in his buckskins.

“All right,” said Jessup, “that's that with that.” He turned to Ames. “Now there's just you.”

“Just me what?”

“You need a ticket out of town, carpetbagger. And that's gonna cost you.”

Reverting to his true-believer stance, Adam said slowly, “Look, I don't quite understand what's going on around here, apart from…clearly I've trusted the wrong people.”

“That's how you're gonna play it?” asked Jessup. “Really? Dickweed, that candy-ass Boy Scout image might work for
them but it sure as shit don't work for me.”

“It's the truth,” said Ames plaintively. “I thought I could do some good around here, but I see I'm in over my head. You say I've violated some ‘locals-only' code, I apologize. But I can't buy my way out. I don't have any money. I never did.”

Sarah started, “You have that—”

Adam cut her off, “That's not your department.” His eyes darted from face to face. He looked like he could feel walls closing in around him. He suddenly turned to his sidewheels and ordered, “You two: Take care of this.”

But they just stood there.

“Oh, what've we got here?” drawled Jessup. “Looks like your ol' boys don't hop to for you no more. Seems maybe they ain't yours after all.”

“But I hired them,” Ames protested.

“Guess I hired 'em more,” said Jessup.

“And there goes your leverage,” said Radar.

“Not all of it,” said Ames. He slipped his hand inside his Joker coat and pulled out a gun. Radar recognized it instantly as a Walther P22.

Sarah let out a little “eek” and sagged back against the chain-link enclosure.

But Radar just calmly moved forward and stood in front of Ames.

“Radar,” said Ames fiercely, “don't make me shoot.”

“Shoot if you want to,” said Radar. “You might hurt my ears but that's all. I know what kind of gun that is. I know where you got it. I know the day you bought it.”

“How—?” The penny dropped. Adam's shoulders sagged. “Kadyn.”

“Yes, Kadyn,” she said brightly. “Kadyn playing kissyface with Wellinov. Kadyn giving Cal here such good advice. And Kadyn getting shirty with Vic—all part of the stall.” She turned to Jessup. “We can have whatever conversation you like, Cal.” She took Vic's hand. “But my part of the chat starts and ends right here.”

“So let's have the toy,” said Radar to Ames, who was now so rattled by all the reversals and revelations that he made no effort to stop Radar taking it away. Radar examined it carefully. “Not gaffed,” he said. “Guess you didn't know how to do that. Though why a supposedly upright citizen like you should need a gun, even a fake one, is a bit of a mystery to me. I don't suppose you'd care to shed a light on that. Or explain why you have those pictures of us on your tablet. And before you ask again, yes, Kadyn. Again.”

“I don't know what pictures you're talking about,” said Ames. “I don't know who or what you think I am, but clearly you're all just delusional.”

Blam!
The report of Jessup's vintage revolver assaulted their ears as he fired through the chain-link fence and down alongside one of the AC units. “Tired of this crap,” said Cal. The gun barrel smoked, and the acrid scent of combusted black powder filled the air. “Nothing but crap since the moment I met you.” He leveled the gun at Ames. “Tell the man what he wants to know.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I'm curious, too,” said Jessup. “Curious and ornery.” He cocked the gun. “Talk!” Sarah screamed and covered her head. Adam dropped to his knees. “Okay, okay! Shit! Christ! Allie!” He looked up and looked around for her.
She met his eyes and found them hard. “It's your fault. All yours.”

“What, because I shot you down at some show?”

“That wasn't all of it. You know it wasn't. There was the bus. The…other thing. You humiliated me. In fact, you did it every chance you got.”

“What?”

Ames stood up. “I watched you work, you know. I followed your career. I knew you were good. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to be your friend. But you kept me away. Every time I came around, you turned on your force field and drove me away.”

“I did that to everyone! What the hell is the matter with you?”

“I was in love with you. I could have been good for you. I knew I just needed a chance. So I kept my eye on you.”

“For how long?”

“Off and on all along.”

The creepiness factor of this hit Allie like a fist. “Oh, God,” she said. She almost fainted and fell, but Kadyn held her up.

Adam's eyes flashed. “Then you started running with this one, Radar Fucking Hoverlander, king of all cons, and now you two go around proving over and over again how smart and clever you are. Along with the Marvelous Mirplo, who has his head shoved so far up his own ass that he can't see what a fool he is.”

Mirplo didn't respond. He knew exactly what a fool he was, but he didn't want to distract Ames. The valve was open. The truth was coming out.

“I watched. Yes, I watched. I thought about the payback you deserved. Then I ran into Sarah, running her pathetic sick-kid scam.”

Sarah was affronted “Pathetic? Hey, Jason and I had a good thing going.”

“Don't you mean Jonah?” asked Radar.

“Jason, Jonah, same difference. His real name is Bobby. I borrow him from a friend.” She looked at Ames and harrumphed. “And we were doing just fine until you came along. How I ever let you talk me into your twisted little revenge trip, I do not know. And why? Because Radar got the girl you wanted? You want to know who's pathetic? You, that's who.”

“Okay,” Radar told Ames. “It's done. You're done. Whatever you were aiming for, you missed. So now you disappear and you are never heard from again. If you can fix your obsession, that'll be great. If you can't, you'd better teach it to keep its distance. Because if I ever see it again, I will end you.”

Adam spat his contempt. “Oh, you could do that, Radar—”

“
Yes,
Radar Fucking Hoverlander can do that. Try him and find out.” Radar turned to leave. “Come on,” he said to the others. “Let's go.” To his manifest surprise, the sidewheels did not step aside for him. He looked back and saw Jessup's gun.

Now it was pointing at him.

R
adar Fucking Hoverlander,” said Ames. “This is just great.” He stood with his hands in the air. They all did, at Jessup's demand. “You double-crossed us both right into the shitter.”

Radar shook his head sadly. “See, this is just where I didn't want to be. I hate it when the guns come out.”

“Makes you rethink your stand on that fifty K, don't it?” said Jessup. Radar just nodded. “Well, I'll collect that in due time. Meanwhile…” he poked the gun barrel in Adam's chest, “your time for making good choices is about run out. Now where's your money?”

“I don't have any money.”

Jessup cocked the gun.

“Don't!” cried Sarah, fumbling with her Pandora's box. “It's at the coat check! Come on, he's pathetic, but don't make a mess of him!” With trembling hands, Sarah unlocked the chest and withdrew a numbered plastic disc. She handed
it to Jessup. As he flipped it like a coin, he nodded to a sidewheel, who nodded back—and kicked Adam's legs out from under him.

Then did the same thing to Radar.

Jessup stood over them and said, “From my point of view you're both punks, and that's because neither of you has the stones to do what needs to be done. Radar, you might—defending your brood and whatnot. But you, Ames, you're a cartoon. I had to keep from laughing all along. So I come out of this half-respecting Radar, and that means you keep clear of him. Because I come out of this not respecting you at all, and if Radar won't end you, trust me, I will.” He turned to Radar. “Fifty grand in my hands by tomorrow, or I come lookin'. Do we have an understanding?”

“We do.”

“Good. I reckon it's a small enough price to pay.” He addressed his men. “Hold 'em a while, then let 'em go.” He looked at Kadyn. “You sure had me going, sugar belle,” he said, seemingly smiling at his own vanity. “Still, all's fair, I guess.” He tipped his hat to her, then turned back to Radar and Adam one last time. “Remember, boys: 'Round these parts, locals only. Oh, and by the way.…”

Blam!

He fired the gun again, right at them, point blank. They screamed and fell back. Jessup chuckled. “That's how you sell a gun that shoots blanks.” Jessup stepped between the sidewheels, who closed in behind him to form a fourth wall.

Allie ran to Radar and held him. Kadyn buried herself in Vic's arms. Ames shook uncontrollably.

“Shit,” said Radar, staggering to his feet. “Holy shit, shit!
I just got not shot!” He looked at Ames, wide-eyed. “You just did, too! Man! Dude! How do you feel about that?”

“I don't know.”

“Me personally, I feel pretty damn shocked.”

“A gun in the face sheds a certain light,” observed Mirplo.

“That it does,” said Radar. “Wow.” He looked at Ames. “Makes you think about fights not worth fighting.” He seemed to be sorting out a thought, deciding whether to voice it. Finally, he said, “So: New light, clean slate, arm's length, yeah?”

Ames blinked. He blinked again. “Yeah,” he said, slackjawed.

Radar helped Adam to his feet. “And that's a meeting of the minds. Get your shit straight, Ames, and get the hell out of Dodge.” He turned to Sarah. “You should go with.”

“I don't know,” said Sarah. “I didn't end up with any money at all. Or rings or anything. And he used me,
and
he called me pathetic. I think I should be really mad at him.”

“Rethink that,” said Radar. “You called him pathetic, too. Could be you're birds of a feather. No need to hold a grudge, right?”

Sarah contemplated this. “I guess,” she said. She looked at Ames. “I mean if you guess, too.”

Adam nodded numbly. In his current state of mind he'd go along with anything.

“Okay, then.” Radar turned to the sidewheels. “You understand what's going on here. We're going to leave now and they're going to leave later. Everything's cool, as you see.” The big dogs exchanged looks, then let Radar, Allie, Vic, and Kadyn pass by. Radar didn't look back. He never saw Adam
or Sarah again.

Later Radar would say that his detente with Adam had nothing to do with a gun in his face and everything to do with locking Ames into a new reality where no thoughts of Radar or Allie need ever more trouble his mind. Reality, he knew, was contagious. That's why he'd made Jessup's gun real to Sarah: so that she, in turn and in the critical moment, would make it real to Ames. When the gun went off, Adam broke, and this was Radar's design all along, the application of sufficient pressure to deliver the two things he needed: understanding of why Ames had attacked them; expectation that it wouldn't happen again.

And that's called buttoning up the mark.

It would have been a much different story without Cal Jessup—Radar's ace in the hole.

He'd known from the start that Jessup was on the razzle. How could he not be? That allocation board was always the phoniest of phony baloney, a manifest transparency that Adam, Radar, and Jessup each went along with for reasons of their own.

And when it turned out that Jessup knew Woody.…

They'd recognized each other instantly, back at their first encounter in Adam's office. Each had been slick enough to keep that fact to himself; however, Woody remembered Jessup warmly from a con he'd once run that had required the tools of a tough Texan, and Jessup recalled Woody as good folks and fine company. He eagerly teamed up with Hoverlander
père et fils
, and from that point forward it was game over for Ames.