The Third Throne: Angel of Darkness (25 page)

Gabriel looked guilty and took a deep breath.  His voice was so low she could barely hear him. “When you were created, you lived in Heaven with me and the other angels.  You were surrounded by good, and you knew nothing of evil.  I decided to bring you to the Mortal Realm to visit the mortals that had been cast out of Paradise.  I wanted you to see how far they had fallen from grace so that you would learn about them and be able to identify their sins.  Some were trying very hard to be good people, but there were those who chose to turn their backs on God.  You were outraged.  You said that they should be condemned to suffer.  I tried to explain to you that it wasn’t time to start an Apocalypse, that their crimes weren’t worthy of it.  I told you that I merely wanted you to experience what sins were like.  You didn’t understand the difference between minor sins such as lying or anger towards another, compared to murder or vengeance.  You decreed that they all must die.  I was able to stop you from destroying them, but not before you unleashed an Ice Age that lasted 300 years.  The mortals barely survived it,” Gabriel stared at the ground as he spoke.

“I was responsible for an Ice Age?” Michelle was horrified.  “I’m sorry.  I can see that you’re still mad at me.  I don’t remember any of this,” the tears were falling from her face as she mourned her actions.  She suddenly understood why she was being punished in Hell.

“No, it’s not your fault.  You did what you were supposed to do.  It was my failing because I didn’t teach you about evil.  I didn’t teach you all the things you needed to know so that you would be prepared.  The Ice Age happened because you were too innocent in your thoughts.  I coddled you.  You have to understand.  I love you, so much.  I never wanted you to suffer these burdens.  I wanted to protect you from the harsh realities that you would have to face.  I am the one who kept you from your destiny.  I was selfish and wanted to keep you safe from even yourself.  I am sorry that my love for you has hindered you at every turn.  I was never able to make the impossible decision to let you fulfill your purpose,” Gabriel hung his head in shame as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Is that why I’m in Hell, because I created an Ice Age?” Michelle couldn’t breathe.  Apparently, she did deserve to be punished in the realms.  Her hope of leaving was shattered.  Hell was where she belonged.

“No.  After you accidentally unleashed your power, I met with Father.  It was decided that you would live as a mortal so that you could learn from them.  You were sent to live in the Moral Realm because of the Ice Age, but I am not angry about what you did.  Before you were sent to live among them, I bound your power as tightly as I could.  You were born into the Mortal Realm as one of them, in mortal form.  You have lived countless lives.  Every time you died, you were quickly reincarnated, and you never spent one day in Heaven, Hell, or Purgatory. You needed to understand the mortals and their ways.  I made sure you lived as a peasant, a princess, a slave, and a pauper.  Your knowledge of the mortals will help you decide when and how to unleash your power upon them.  All of those memories were locked away deep inside of you, until you needed them,” Gabriel watched his daughter try to comprehend her destiny.

A thought occurred to her that made her sick.  “Is that why Lucifer wanted me, because I am evil?  I can feel it.  I can feel something burning and clawing inside of me, especially when I’m upset or angry.  Maybe that’s why I can see the sins of the mortals.  Something inside of me reacts to their darkness, something that wants to come out.  I sometimes know things that I shouldn’t, like when people are lying,” Michelle started to sob.  She knew that whatever was inside of her was appallingly evil.

“You are not evil, my child, and that is not why Lucifer wanted to take possession of you.  What you feel inside is the power that God has granted you.  It is His wrath, His frustration, and His disappointment in the mortals for choosing to stray from His love and choosing to do evil.  It reacts to the evil in their souls.  Your power wants to lash out and punish them.  While your power is intense, it is not evil.  It is overwhelming, I know.  You have struggled with it your entire existence.  You have enough power to destroy everything, but that doesn’t mean you have to.  You can control it.  I know you can.  God foresaw the difficulties that this power would bring you, and that is why He gave you a part of His love.  You have an enormous sense of compassion and a tremendous ability to love and forgive people.  You feel the love that God has for all His creations, good and bad.  Never think that you are an instrument of evil.  You are hope, hope for a better world.  The difficulty comes from finding a balance between forgiving the mortals for their sins and punishing them when they are beyond redemption,” Gabriel smiled at Michelle with pride and love in his eyes.

“I didn’t ask for this,” Michelle understood that the fate of the world was in her hands, literally.  She felt suffocated and dizzy.  Her stomach churned and a wave of nausea hit her.

“You should consider it an honor to be the Bringer of the Apocalypse.  It requires a steady hand and a giving heart.  If this kind of power fell into the wrong hands, someone could destroy without thought or consequence; they could wipe out every last person in the Mortal Realm without just cause.  It takes someone who understands tolerance and has the experience and wisdom to know when to destroy and when to forgive.  That person must mourn the lives lost, so that they don’t want to kill, though they know they must.  You are the right person to hold this power because you don’t want to destroy everyone.  Many others in your place would fail.  They don’t have the love inside of them that you have.  You just need to control that power,” Gabriel’s eyes shone as he looked at her.  She was so dear to him.  He loved her so much but knew he needed to let go of her a little so that she could find a way to fulfill her destiny.

“God made me live as a mortal so that I would know what it was like to be one of them and to learn what it’s like to make choices?  Lucifer talked about free will destroying the mortals.  You wanted me to understand the choices they made to become good or evil?” Michelle asked, trying to absorb everything Gabriel had told her.

“Yes.  You’ve had to steal food because you were hungry.  You’ve had to send warriors off to battle for a greater good.  You’ve had to kill to survive against attackers.  Once you understand all the gray areas between good and evil, it becomes harder to judge people for their actions.  Heaven and Hell are literal and straight forward, but not always fair and just.  We condemn mortals to Hell for killing in self-defense and punish them.  We don’t see in varying shades between light and darkness.  You can see the problem this creates.  Would you punish a person who killed in self-defense because a criminally insane man attacked him, intent on murdering him?” Gabriel waited patiently for her answer.  As much as he had failed her, he knew he had prepared her for this moment.

“No.  I couldn’t condemn him.  I can understand why he did it.  I know God doesn’t approve of killing for any reason, but I understand the survival instinct of a person who doesn’t want to die.  I know I would defend myself if someone attacked me.  I might even kill to stay alive, but I wouldn’t end the world because someone killed to defend their existence,” Michelle could see Gabriel’s relief as she spoke.  Perhaps she had learned something.

“Exactly.  That is what living as a mortal has done for you.  You understand the subtlety of what is considered right and wrong.  One small choice shouldn’t end the world.  The problem is, you need all of your memories from all of your lives to be able to know when it is time to end things.  Along with the light and love of God, you will use your memories and your love of humanity to temper your desire to use your power.  I did what I could to help bind your powers until you were ready and able to use them.  The ring on your hand is a part of that,” Gabriel lifted her hand so that she could see her ring.

“Lucifer had a serious interest in it when I arrived,” she remembered how nervous he had been when he saw it.  Even Hades had reacted oddly to it.

“It is a powerful item.  Never lose it.  It was very difficult to come by.  It helps to hold back your power and fortifies the gates.  If you were to take it off, the full power of your destructive abilities would be at your disposal.  It would be like unlocking an arsenal.  It will be difficult for you to control your power until you transcend this mortal form and become what you once were,” Gabriel feared for his daughter and hoped she could handle the information he was giving her.

“This force inside of me blew Hades across the room when he…when he touched me.  My ring was still on.  I got angry with him and this heavy feeling rose to the surface.  I pushed it out of me and he went flying across the room.  After that, I somehow made the Realm of Fire burn hotter, while standing inside of it.  I pushed the flames away from me, until I inadvertently froze the realm,” Michelle was still freaked out by what had happened.

“He dared to touch you?  What about Lucifer?  Never mind.  Were you able to regain control of your power?” Gabriel was back to being murderous again.  It was strange seeing him look so dangerous.  She knew the angels were fearsome, but to see a Heavenly Angel’s fury was a scary sight to behold.

“It wasn’t easy, but I did it,” she shrugged.  She wondered what would have happened if she had taken off the ring.  She might have accidentally killed Hades.

“It seems that even the ring can’t completely bind your abilities when you allow your anger to take control.  You will have to be mindful of that.  Anger is not an emotion that will help you.  It is a temptation and you must push it away.  You must rely on your love and compassion to reign in your power.  Though, I have to say I’m glad you were able to keep Hades away from you and save yourself from burning in the fires,” Gabriel smiled at her.

Michelle looked away, ashamed.  She really didn’t want to talk about men with her father, but she needed advice.  “Hades has done everything he can to make me feel insignificant.  Lucifer has been mostly kind to me.  He told me that he loves me, but I’m not sure what to believe.  He says things that make me care for him and then turns away from me.  I don’t know what to do,” Michelle sighed.  Her life was a mess and she didn’t know how to begin to fix it.

“You can start by taking your rightful place and becoming what you were meant to.  None of this was meant to happen.  I swear it.  I tried to cover every possible outcome, tried to close every damned loophole, deny him all options, and the foul beast still won,” Gabriel was seething and back to pacing.  He ranted on about Lucifer using some swear words she was sure Heavenly Angels weren’t allowed to use.

“My rightful place?  What do you mean?  Aside from destroying the world, what am I supposed to do?”  Hope once again flooded her.  Maybe there was another way out of Hell.

“You weren’t supposed to come here like this.  Lucifer tricked both of us.  He will pay for his part in this, I assure you.  You were never supposed to die by your own hand and end up at his feet.  It’s true, your destiny lies in Hell, but you were never meant to suffer here.  You, my dear, should be ruling Hell next to Lucifer.  That is the deal I made with him,” Gabriel’s eyes narrowed.  He looked like he was bracing himself for impact.

“You made a deal with Lucifer that sent me to Hell?” the cave became very dark and sound no longer existed.

∞

Lucifer needed to speak to his mistress.  After debating with himself for over an hour, he finally gave up and sent Aganon to retrieve her.  He finally understood what was happening to her.  After she had slighted him, he went back over every conversation and interaction he’d had with her.  He had been intolerably cruel when he forced her to please him the first time.  He accepted that he must have terrified her with his animalistic tendencies in bed.  He scared her by showing her the Realm of Nightmares and almost lost her to Fenris in the Hall of Shadows.  This was the problem inherent to having someone by his side.  No matter what he did, he couldn’t be gentle and kind.  His world was filled with violence, and he had to react violently to it.  He was a monster, admittedly, but someone as innocent as Anjali could never accept him or his world.  He thought it would be different this time.  She made it easy for him to love her and act compassionately toward her, but it apparently wasn’t enough.  Maybe Hades was right, maybe he needed to give her up.  He couldn’t win with her and he didn’t want to see her dismayed.  He ultimately decided he would have to let her go.  It would be unbearable but it was the only way to make her happy.

“Master, she’s gone.  I have searched everywhere and I can find no trace of her.  Vincent and Dorian were the last to see her when she left the Throne Room headed for the rotunda.  They said that she appeared distressed.  Sebastian hasn’t seen her either,” Aganon panted as he burst through Lucifer’s bedroom door, having run from the realms.

“Gone?  That’s not possible.  If Sebastian hasn’t seen her in the Hall of Winds and Hades has been chained up, then there’s no reason for her to be missing, unless…,” he couldn’t make himself say the words.  The Caves were the only possible place she could be.  She could very well be dead.  “Round up the servants and search again.  Tell Azazel to search the realms and make sure she wasn’t accidentally dragged into one.  Have him report to me immediately.  Release Hades and tell him to wait for me in the Throne Room.  Tell him what is happening.  I’m going to search for her in the Caves,” Lucifer yelled, pushing past Aganon.  He didn’t wait for the boy to respond.

Michelle’s heart was broken.  “My own father made a deal with Lucifer,” she muttered to herself.

She saw what happened to people when they made deals with Lucifer.  They became his bitches.  How could her own father do something like that to her?  He was obviously still angry with her for turning the world into an ice chest for a few hundred years.

“Anjali, you must listen to me, I know you must hate me, but please listen to my reasoning.  I swear that I tried to do my best for you,” Gabriel was weeping as hung his head, unable to look at her.

Tears blurred her vision and she felt cold and numb.  Her hope was crushed and she felt empty.  “I understand what I did to deserve this place.  I understand why you had to send me here.”

He lifted his head and grabbed her shoulder.  “No.  You did nothing wrong.  You have been everything that a father could want in a daughter.  I sealed your fate because of my love for you and for the mortals.”

Michelle couldn’t look at him.  She was unmoved by his tears.  She felt brittle, afraid that she would crumble apart.  The man that she knew, loved, and trusted had thrown her into the pit of despair.  Rule Hell?  The only the thing she ruled was agony.  She realized that she was on her own.  She could no longer trust anyone.  She closed her eyes, trying to figure out what to do.  If she could break out of Hell, she could get away from everyone.  The psych ward ironically was looking like her best bet right about now.

Gabriel flinched when she pulled away from him.  He knew his daughter would be lost to him if he didn’t explain quickly. “The destruction inside of you brought about an unforeseen problem.  There were many who came looking for you because of it.  It was like a beacon for evil to follow.  Rogue Angels sought you out to corrupt you so that you would use your power against humanity as a way of getting back at God, or they outright tried to kill you.  Creatures born of evil hunted you; they were drawn to your destructive nature.  I kept you safely hidden from all of them, until Lucifer found you,” Gabriel sighed.  It was the worst day of his existence.

“Lucifer knew me before, when I lived in the Mortal Realm?” given Lucifer’s tendencies to leave out important details, she wasn’t really surprised.  A number of things finally made sense, and her sadness was replaced with anger.

“I wasn’t able to spend much time with you, just like in your last life.  I'm sorry for that.  I would have drawn too much attention.  I hated leaving you with strangers, but I had to protect you from everyone and everything.  There were times when someone got close to finding you, and I had to move you.  Of course, I should have known that I couldn’t hide you from Lucifer forever.  The Fallen knew of your existence, but they were warned to stay away from you.  I don’t know what made Lucifer decide to try to unleash your power, but there was no stopping him; he was obsessed.  He was like a bloodhound when it came to you.  I don’t know how he kept finding you, but he was relentless.  You don't know how many times he was only a hair’s breath away from obtaining you.  I almost killed him when he did get to you.  I came so close, yet I couldn't do it.  I couldn’t kill my brother,” Gabriel whispered, his voice giving out.

“What happened?” sympathy welled up inside of her.  Her father had protected her from harm.  She was ashamed of herself for questioning his intentions.  She could easily understand the burden of keeping her safe and the fear he must have felt when Lucifer found her, having dealt with the deranged angel.

“The first time he found you was about five millennia ago, but he didn’t get close enough to touch you.  He hunted us on and off for the next fifteen hundred years, but then he finally found you.  That’s when it when it happened.  Though you had lived many lives by that time, you hadn’t experienced pure evil.  Lucifer was drowning in darkness.  His evil broke through the layers of protection that bound your power and unleashed the full force of it for a split second.  You reacted to the intense depravity inside of him. You accidentally started an earthquake that nearly destroyed an entire civilization.  Fires erupted and razed the buildings to the ground.  Floods destroyed crops.  Nothing was left standing.  You came close to starting an Apocalypse, but the devastation wasn’t complete.  For the survivors, a Dark Age began,” Gabriel hated telling his daughter about her past.  He didn’t want her to wallow in guilt for things that were beyond her control.

“So I blew everything up,” she hung her head.  She didn’t know if she wanted to hear any more.

No matter what Gabriel said, she knew that she was the bad guy.  She chuckled at what Lucifer had told her about the Fallen being the monsters.  Despite all the bad things they had done, she was fairly certain that they hadn’t created a Dark Age.  In truth, she was worse than the devil.

“It was Lucifer’s fault.  He knew better than to come after you.  No one was supposed to touch you, Heavenly or Fallen. Everyone understood the consequences, yet Lucifer was out of his mind when he found you.  He was bent on destroying the world.  In some ways, I don’t blame him.  I understand his burden and know how much he suffers because of the wicked.  Yet, after he touched you, he was suddenly bewildered and scared.  He looked shaken, but I couldn’t understand why. He had gotten what he wanted.  He wanted you to destroy the world, yet when you unleashed your power, he seemed upset by the damage.  At the time I didn’t care, I took you and ran.  I had to explain to God what had happened.  He told me that you weren’t ready yet, that you needed more time and more wisdom that came with experience in the world.

“A few months later Lucifer came to me and offered me a deal.  He said that your power wasn’t meant for the Heavens or for the Mortal Realm, that you were too dangerous.  He said that if his evil could tear apart your safeguards, then you weren’t ready.  Heaven was too peaceful and caused you to react violently to evil.  The world had given you mortal experiences, but you needed to understand the true evil contained within Hell, just as the Fallen had done.  He believed that the more you were around the souls in Hell, the less harshly you would react to them.  It was agreed upon by both of us that once you had gained enough experience in the Mortal Realm you would shed your mortal form and become Anjali again.  You would reside in Hell so that you could increase your knowledge of the malevolent side of humanity.  Neither of us wanted an enemy of God to take possession of you and cause another Dark Age.  Lucifer swore to protect you. Stupidly, I believed him. I was afraid you would react badly to the evil in Hell, but he said that he would help you.  You have to know that it wasn’t easy for me to make a deal with Lucifer.  I regretted it immediately, which is why I kept the truth from you.  I hope you can learn to forgive me someday,” Gabriel hung his head in shame.

Michelle could see that Gabriel hated the thought of sending her to Hell, but he believed it was the right thing to do, not only to protect her, but also to keep the mortals safe from any more accidents.

“You did what you had to do.  I don’t want to accidentally end the world,” Michelle was still rattled from finding out that she was supposed to kill everyone.  Lucifer’s deal was icing on the cake.

She thought about Lucifer’s reaction to her.  She finally understood why he wanted her and why he was purring with delight when she arrived.  He was planning to use her to destroy the world.  He had won.  He had finally gotten his prize.  She needed to make sure that Lucifer never used her power to harm anyone.

“You have to understand, I didn’t just hand you over.  I made a deal, a contract, which means I was supposed to be granted certain provisions.  I tried to provide as much protection for you as I could.  The deal was he had to wait until you were ready to transition from the Mortal Realm to Hell and take on your duties.  I was responsible for setting the date, but only when I thought you were ready.  I kept pushing it off by reminding him of the Dark Age, so he gave me a lot of leeway.  He was not to come near you or have any correspondence with you, nor was he to send any minions or emissaries to contact you.  Apparently, I failed to mention mental communications, which is how he finally got to you.  He was to protect you at all times, which means that you were never meant to be tortured, nor used for his own evil purposes.  When I see him again, I’m going to bury him for hurting you.  He wasn’t allowed to kill you in mortal form and snatch your soul, so he made you take your own life.  He guaranteed me that you would be royalty.  Instead, the miserable low life-backstabbing piece of shit turned you into his personal servant and slave, only to torture you.  I vow to you, I will kill him for his betrayal!” Gabriel roared as he clenched his fists.

“Don’t worry, Father; I plan on confronting Lucifer now that I know the truth,” Michelle squared her shoulders and imagined tossing Lucifer into the Realm of Teeth for a while.  If her birthright was to be the Bringer of the Apocalypse, then she was going to remind Lucifer of that fact.  She didn’t want to kill him, but she wanted vengeance.

Gabriel immediately calmed.  He was concerned about the intense look in her eyes.  He knew that look and it frightened him.  “Yes, I believe that you can handle Lucifer, but please contain your rage.  Allow me to be angry on your behalf.  I have enough reason to lash out at my brother.  Please, understand that making the deal was unbearable.  It took me forever to finally set the date for you to enter into Hell.  I was supposed to hand you over during the autumn after your 18th birthday, or rather Michelle’s birthday.  She was to be your last life in the Mortal Realm.  That’s why I was going to travel with you during the summer, so that I could explain everything and finally be able to spend time with you.  He not only broke our contract, but he cheated me out of spending time with you for the first time since you left Heaven,” Gabriel regretted not being able to show her the world.

Michelle finally understood Gabriel’s rage.  He had been deprived of spending time with her.  He loved her and cared for her enough to want to be close to her for the first time in centuries and Lucifer had crushed his dreams.

“I was looking forward to traveling with you and CJ.  You don’t know how much I wanted to spend time with you,” she sniffled and hugged him.

“I too was looking forward to it.  I’m sorry that I had to tell you the truth like this, in this dreadful place.  As much as I hate the idea of you residing in Hell, it wasn’t meant to be like this, I swear it.  You were meant to be bowed to, not to bow to Lucifer as his servant,” Gabriel grumbled as he pulled at his hair.  “Once the appointed date came, a ceremony was supposed to take place and your immortal form would be restored. Your memories would be unbound and your full power would be at your disposal.  You would take your place at Lucifer’s left side, while Hades resided at his right.  You would be third in the line of succession of power in Hell and occupy your own tower, and hold court there.  You would oversee your own realm so that you could learn what it meant to punish the wicked during an Apocalypse; of course, you found a way to do that through your visions.  I believe that is why you accepted death and joined Lucifer.  Deep down, you knew you were ready.  You knew it was time to accept your destiny,” Gabriel smiled at her.

“I don’t know if ready I am, but I believe you.  You know me better than I do,” Michelle wiped away her tears and stood up straight.  She needed to grow up and be strong.  If Gabriel thought she could do this, then she had to find a way to accept her destiny.

“I do know you very well, my child.  You and I have always had a special bond.  In this life, as Michelle, I allowed your real personality and thoughts to shine through.  I thought it might help you to adjust more easily to what awaited you.  Unfortunately, you have always felt as if you were different from everyone else, because you are.  You always had a hard time connecting to those around you in Heaven, just as Michelle did in the Mortal Realm.  The guilt of one day destroying the mortals has made it difficult for you to befriend anyone, even angels.  There were many who saw you as a weapon, instead of a gift.  They saw you as the Destroyer of the mortals,” Gabriel was sad that his daughter was considered an outcast in his world.

“That’s why Hades looked so scared the first time he saw me.  He almost bowed to me.  I think I’ll visit him first. You have no idea how many lies he’s told me,” Michelle smirked at the thought of making Hades bow to her.

“Do not believe anything Hades says.  He is a skilled liar,” Gabriel replied.  He was no less of a liar than his brother was.  He’d lied to everyone, including his daughter to protect her.  “Can you ever forgive me for lying to you?” Gabriel fell to his knees sobbing.

“For what?  You didn’t do anything wrong.  I’m the one who couldn’t keep it together and ended up killing a lot of people.  I’m the one who almost destroyed a few civilizations.  I’ve caused nothing but trouble for you ever since I was created.  You’ve had the burden of keeping the mortals safe from me, while keeping me safe from evil.  What else were you supposed to do?  I don’t blame you for anything.  I blame myself for falling apart and losing control time and again. I blame Lucifer for lying to me and causing my death, but I’m not angry with you.  You did everything you could to protect me.  I love you, the same as I always have,” she grabbed Gabriel and hugged him the way she used to.

“You are the most understanding and loving girl.  I am honored to be your father.  I am honored to have been chosen to protect you.  You are not my burden to bear.  You are my heart.  I love God and serve Him with everything that I am.  He gave you to me to guide and cherish.  I would do nothing less than love you,” Gabriel smiled at his daughter and was overwhelmed with adoration for her.  As much as he hated knowing the truth about what had happened to her, at least he was armed with the facts.  He had many injustices to right, but now he had the information he needed.