“Don’t get up,” Kirra called in a low voice. “I’ll put myself to bed.”
Melly must have been even more tired than Kirra, for she muttered something indistinguishable and subsided onto her pillow. Kirra quickly undressed, cleaned herself thoroughly with water from the pitcher and basin, and donned one of the prim cotton nightdresses that Casserah favored.
Now the exhaustion was compounded by a sense of loneliness and unutterable loss.
Wild Mother watch me, will I always feel this sad every time I love him and have to walk away?
she wondered.
I will not be able to withstand this many times.
She stood by the bed and stared down at the cool white sheets, thinking that if she lay down, she would not be able to close her eyes. Her mind would give her back all the pictures of the day, her body would curl up with desolation and want. She considered crossing to the alcove and shaking Melly awake, forcing the maid to talk to her till she herself was too tired to summon another syllable.
Instead, she put on a robe, took a single taper from the candelabra, and headed for the door. “If you’re awake, go back to sleep. I don’t know when I’ll return.”
She stepped into the hallway, nodded at Coeval again, and walked the ten paces to the next door down. Not even bothering to knock, she pushed the door open and went in.
Cammon, Hammond and two soldiers wearing the black and gold of Ghosenhall were sitting around a table, playing a card game. Like her own room, this one was half in shadow. She could see that someone was sleeping in the big canopy bed, but she couldn’t tell who. All the men had looked up when she entered, then returned their attention to the game. All except Cammon, who laid his cards aside and came over to her.
“Are you all right?” he asked in a low voice. His speckled hazel eyes were fixed on her face, but she noticed that he did not look unduly worried.
“I’m not sure,” she answered just as quietly. “I wanted to talk to Tayse or Senneth, but I guess neither one is here.”
“Senneth’s with Amalie. If it’s urgent—”
“No. Where’s Tayse?”
Cammon’s sweet smile appeared. “Out walking around. Checking to make sure everything is secure. He’ll be back in an hour or so.”
Of course. How perfect. Kirra had thought she’d had a secret tryst with her forbidden lover, and Tayse had probably spotted them the moment they first shed their clothes. She wouldn’t think about that. “There was an incident,” she said. “The regent met with some of the lesser lords, and a couple of them wanted to harm him. But Colton was there, and everything ended well, but it was—unsettling. I just wanted Tayse to know.”
“Do you think it had anything to do with Halchon Gisseltess being here?”
She shrugged and laughed. “I don’t know anything anymore!” she replied. “It’s all so crazy! Every time we turn around someone else is trying to kill somebody. It’s worse than the trip we took a few months ago.”
Cammon grinned. “Halchon Gisseltess didn’t try to kill anyone tonight,” he said. “Unless I missed something.”
“And how did Tayse know to come running into the ballroom this evening?” she demanded. “Did you tell him something was wrong?” Cammon nodded. “But how did you know? Could you hear us in your head—shouting or something? Me or Senneth?”
“Both of you,” Cammon replied. “From Senneth all I got was one quick shriek. Then nothing. That would have been enough—I was already running for Tayse. But from you I got this continual sort of low growl. Like Donnal when he’s a dog and he’s mad about something. I knew you were afraid, but I knew you weren’t in any immediate danger.”
“Tayse told Halchon Gisseltess he would kill him if Halchon ever touched Senneth again.”
“I think he will.” Kirra just looked at him, and Cammon continued, “Don’t you think so? Eventually? Tayse will kill him.”
Kirra felt a little shiver go down her back. “No one, not even a King’s Rider, can just murder a man because he wants to. And he certainly can’t murder a marlord.”
Cammon shrugged. “Well, I can’t see the future. But that’s what I think.”
Kirra leaned against the door and closed her eyes. For a moment, talking to Cammon, she had forgotten her weariness, but now it all came rushing back. “I wish this was all over already,” she whispered. “This war, this rebellion, whatever it’s going to be. It’s so tense. I’m so tired. And there’s no end to it.”
“You need to go to sleep,” Cammon said, pulling her to him in a brotherly hug. “Go back to your room and lie down.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to. I’m—Donnal’s guarding the princess and I’m not used to—I just didn’t feel like being alone. I’d rather stay here awhile and talk to you. Maybe I’ll play cards. Are you gambling for money?”
Now his grip changed and he was urging her forward, toward the shadowed bed and its unidentified occupant. “Then lie down in here for a while. I bet you’ll fall asleep.”
She resisted a little, but eventually allowed him to push her across the room. “Who’s already sleeping—oh, no, that’s Justin. He won’t want me in the bed with him. Maybe I can just curl up on the floor.”
“He won’t mind. He’s already asleep. He won’t even notice.”
“Of course he will.”
“No, really, he’s a dullard. Come on, lie down.”
She was too tired to turn around and walk out the door. Carefully, she settled onto the bed, hoping to disturb Justin as little as possible, and smiled up at Cammon as he arranged the covers over her. “Goodnight then. Thank you.”
“Go to sleep,” he said, and put his hand over her eyes.
When she opened her eyes again, it was morning.
CHAPTER
28
I
T was a moment before Kirra realized where she was, even who she was, and she drowsed on the bed a few minutes, lazily assessing her situation. Sunlight coming in through an unfamiliar window, so it was daylight at some house she was visiting. Her pillow spread with dark hair, so she was not here as herself. That’s right, she was Casserah. A warm body curled against her back, so Donnal must be—
No, Donnal was guarding the princess and she was in love with Romar Brendyn and last night she had sought refuge with the Riders and Cammon had urged her to lie down and share a bed with—
She jerked awake so violently that the body behind her startled instantly upright, and she knew before she even turned over that Justin’s first action would be to grab a dagger. She was close enough to feel his muscles relax from their corded readiness as soon as he realized there was no danger. She shifted a little so her back was still to him but she could see him over her shoulder.
He was sitting up, he was shirtless, and he indeed had a knife in one hand. The expression on his face was quizzical as he gazed down at her. “Good morning,” she said, her voice a touch malicious. “I hope this isn’t an unpleasant surprise.”
He laughed. “I knew you were here.”
“You did not. You were asleep when I lay down beside you.”
He gave her a look that said she was unutterably stupid if she thought he would ever sleep through an event like that. “So what happened?” he asked. “Last night?”
So many ways to answer that question! “Another incident involving some lords of the Thirteenth House. I came to tell Tayse, but he wasn’t here.”
She thought he would say, “So why did you stay?” but he didn’t. She realized he really wasn’t surprised to find her beside him in the bed. Not just because he probably
had
woken up when she joined him, but because it didn’t seem strange to him that Kirra would have sought out the other Rider in the middle of the night. Whether her news was great or small. Justin himself turned to Tayse at every juncture; he expected everyone else to do the same.
Actually, it might be more than that, Kirra thought, sitting up and pulling her robe more tightly around her body. Justin expected the six of them to always turn to each other, no matter what the crisis. He might not have any idea why Kirra needed comfort, but he would have expected her to get it from someone in their small, strangely bound group. He wouldn’t even have thought it through; Justin was not a great one for self-analysis. He would have woken up, seen Kirra beside him, realized she was not bleeding, noticed that Cammon was not alarmed, and decided that he was playing whatever part had been assigned to him for the hour. And gone back to sleep without worrying about it.
For a moment, Kirra wished she could be as simple as Justin.
Someone across the room stood up, and she realized there were other people in the room. She looked around quickly and counted three: Cammon and Coeval, yawning on sofas pushed against the wall, and Tayse, who appeared to have just risen from a mat on the floor. Hammond must be taking his shift outside the princess’s door.
Tayse was headed in her direction, and he pulled up a straight-backed chair beside the bed. “What happened last night?” he asked. “I talked to Colton around three in the morning.”
“Then you know most of it,” she said, and launched into the tale. She was just finishing up when there was a knock on the door and Senneth stepped inside.
“Does anyone know—oh,” she said, and stuck her head back out. “Never mind. She’s in here.”
Senneth entered, followed by Donnal, shaped like himself.
Donnal
had been looking for her? Hadn’t he given all his attention to Amalie, with none to spare for his own serramarra? But then Senneth plopped down next to her on the bed and gave Kirra that faint smile.
“Melly was worried,” Senneth said. “Apparently you didn’t sleep in your own bed last night.”
Donnal and Cammon came to join them, Cammon sitting cross-legged on the mattress at Justin’s feet, Donnal leaning against one of the bedposts. Kirra heard the door to the room open and shut as Coeval left.
Just for a moment, just the six of them.
“I had a wakeful night,” Kirra said, lightly enough considering the true circumstances. “I thought companionship might settle my mind. And who better to seek for kindness and compassion than my old friend Justin?”
“It’s who I always look for,” Senneth said.
“She snores,” Justin commented.
Donnal’s response was instant. “No, she doesn’t.”
Justin gave him a malicious look. “Little trick she’s picked up while you’ve been hovering over the princess.”
“Well, you kick,” Kirra said, trying to distract Donnal. He looked genuinely furious. “I probably have bruises.”
“Good thing you didn’t kick back,” Tayse observed. “He’s likely to pull a blade and stab you before he’s even fully awake.”
Justin and Kirra both laughed. Cammon stirred on the bed. “So what are we going to do about everything?” he asked.
Tayse glanced at Senneth. “And there’s more ‘everything’ than you know.”
Again, Kirra recounted the tale of Romar’s midnight adventure. “It’s hard to tell,” she said. “But I had this feeling. Some of the lesser lords were there to genuinely negotiate. Some were there to stir up trouble. Are there two factions in the Thirteenth House?”
Senneth looked tired. “Why not?” she said. “There are multiple factions everywhere else. It’s impossible to keep straight where any of the alliances lie.”
“Or one sincere group among the lesser lords, and someone like Halchon Gisseltess exploiting them with well-placed agents,” Tayse said. “Since he is here, we have to assume he is exerting some influence.”
Now Senneth looked a little sick. “I was not expecting him,” she said. “I wish that I—with him—I can’t—” She shook her head. “All my magic leaves me.”
“You don’t need magic,” Tayse said, his voice a little rough. “You have my sword.”
“Yes, well, leaving out the possibility of slaying him on Mayva’s dance floor, what are we going to do about him?” Kirra asked.
She watched as Senneth and Tayse exchanged glances. “I don’t think there’s anything we
can
do,” Senneth said. “We don’t have the authority or the force of arms to return him to Gisseltess.”