The Three Sisters (50 page)

Two smiling kids appear in an obviously
middle-class kitchen.

“Boy, am
I thirsty.”

“See what’s in
the refrigerator.”

“OK, drat, there’s
no milk.”

Suddenly a woman appears in a blinding flash from out of the sky. “My children, do you thirst? Do you need some soothing liquid to cool
you off?”

“Yeah.”

“Direct from heaven I have brought this to you: my own milk to refresh your body and
your soul.”

“Can we
have some?”

“There
you are.”

“Gosh, this is the best milk I’ve ever had. I could drink a gallon of it. Say, who
are you?”

“Look on the label. It gives
my name.”

“What’s
it say?”

“Virgin Mary Milk. Why, that means you’re—where’d
she go?”

Shot of a clear blue sky with her voice saying, “Though I go to a far better place, I leave you my milk. Enjoy it today. It’s divine.”

“Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. It’s a beautiful day here in Washington, D.C. David and I are at the Capitol building, and as you can hear by the noise in the background, the bands and floats participating in the Festivities Day parade have already begun their march along the official crucifixion
parade route.”

“Yes, Dinah, and the array of floats and marching bands so far has already been quite impressive. Considering the short notice many of the people were given to get their floats or band routines ready, I think their accomplishments are very commendable. I have hosted several of the parades on Thanksgiving and New Year’s, so I can speak
from experience.”

“In many ways, this parade is much like the ones which take place on Thanksgiving; however, I’m afraid no one had time to make any giant balloons. So if any of our viewers were expecting them, I’m afraid they’ll just have to wait ’till
next Thanksgiving.”

“We’ll be switching to one of the booths further down Pennsylvania Avenue later on and show you the bands and floats which have already begun their trip down the parade route. There are cameras situated all along the way to make sure you don’t miss a single second of the Festivities. Of course, the three sisters’ last mile will begin only after all of the bands and floats have left the Capitol building, but in the meantime, we’ll be bringing you this
wonderful parade.”

“By the way, what are the three
doing now?”

“Right now they’re being brought back to the Capitol where they’ll remain under protective custody until it’s their turn to appear before the people again. The government has decided to allow them thirty minutes with their families an
d
/
or friends to say their final good-byes. We had hoped to film these moments for our viewers, but after the three sisters refused to allow cameras in there in a rather unladylike manner, we decided not to
broadcast it.”

“That’s
too bad.”

“But instead you’ll get to see this
wonderful parade.”

“I don’t know if I told you, David, but last night I had the opportunity to take a sneak preview of some of the floats which will be appearing today, and I must confess that I found myself delighted by what I saw. Do you know that every state in the union is represented by a float or band today? A lot of average Americans have put in countless hours designing and building these floats, or have spent long hours practicing their band routines and music just to entertain
us today.”

“Why were you so delighted by
the floats?”

“Well, for obvious reasons, most of the floats are based on biblical stories or other matters relating to Christianity. The floats’ designers have scoured the Bible in search of interesting ideas for floats and have come up with what I think are some very imaginative creations. Also, most of the bands have put some religious music into their repertoire of tunes they’ll be playing for
us today.”

“Dinah, I think it’s only proper to add that much of what we see here today wouldn’t be possible without grants from corporations interested in preserving the American way of life. Not only have they provided many of the materials needed by the float makers as well as financial contributions, but they’ve had their employees give up their own free time to help design and build some of
the floats.”

“It’s a wonderful thing what all these corporations have done for us. I think a lot of people forget how many charitable activities American corporations are
engaged in.”

“In addition to financing the floats, several companies have contributed prizes which will go to the best floats and bands in a number of categories which have been created by the corporations. The winners were selected last night, and we’ll be pointing out which floats won which prizes and which company provided the prize as each appears in
the parade.”

“And I think we have one on our
screen now.”

“Yes we do, this float won the Exxon Prize for Best Float Dealing with Sin. As you can see, the float is divided into seven sections, and in each, one of the Seven Deadly Sins is represented. It really looks like they put a lot of work into
their costumes.”

“You know, David, the people who designed the costumes never appear on TV, but they probably play as important a role in what we see as the people wearing the costumes. We shouldn’t
forget that.”

“No, we shouldn’t. There on your screen now, you can see Lust and Greed waving to the crowds. And look, Sloth is just sitting down and doing nothing,
ha, ha.”

“Yesterday, I talked to the young people who put this float together and I think the viewers will appreciate their story. Several weeks ago, things looked pretty grim for them. Even though they had worked on the float day and night, they were afraid they still wouldn’t be able to come here because of financial problems. They came all the way from Nebraska, and for a bunch of high school students, that’s a pretty big trip. One of the boys said they didn’t know where the money would come from, so they prayed that God would help them get to Washington. They wrote some letters and made several phone calls. Their prayers were answered, and here they are today, and with the Exxon Prize
to boot!”

“Where’d they get the money from, did
they say?”

“Well, yes, as I said, they wrote to several corporations seeing if they could help them out, and Midwestern Bell finally decided to give them the money they needed to
get here.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“Here’s the marching band of the St. Thomas Aquinas High School of Dallas, Texas, playing jazzed-up versions of some Church hymns. They sound pretty fancy
to me.”

“Let’s listen to them for
a while.”

“…”

“Next we have a float showing God’s throne in Heaven as described in the Book of Revelation. Just look at all the work they put into the float. It’s no wonder it won the American Airlines Prize for Best Float Dealing
with Heaven.”

“That’s really an impressive float. Heaven sure looks like it’s a
busy place.”

“Yes, we’re getting to see something the three sisters will
never witness.”

“That’s
for sure.”

“As you can see, all seven of the principle angels of Heaven, Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Uriel, Simiel, Oriphial, and Zachariel are represented on the float along with the
Holy Trinity.”

“Look, there’s God waving
to us.”

“Well, you don’t see a band or a float in front of you now, but instead something we can all be proud of, the United States Marines. The group of men down there is performing some of their highly specialized drills for
the spectators.”

“Boy, they must have been planning those routines for a long time. That sure
takes practice.”

“It sure does. Oh, ha, ha, and look what we have next, Dinah. These guys have a real sense of humor. Their float represents Vanity Fair from
Pilgrim’s Progress
. They’re really hamming it up down there,
aren’t they?”

“They sure are. I haven’t seen so much overacting since the last
Presidential campaign.”

“Well, I hate to interrupt the parade, but I’m afraid we have to break for a commercial, but don’t worry folks, we’ll be back with more of the Festivities after this word from our sponsors.”

“So, you won’t confess?” said the boy’s voice. The camera was focused on a toy man laid out on a rack. “If that’s the way you want to be, then I’ll have to give you one more turn of
the wheel.”

“POP!” The toy man’s arms
came off.

“Oh no,
it broke!”

“Don’t worry,” said his reassuring friend. “They’re supposed to break. See, the arms fit right back on so you can break his limbs time and time again. If they come off, all you have to do is push the arms and legs back in. Now they’re ready to s-t-r-e-t-c-h
out again.”

“Wow, that’s great. Let’s try and get him to
confess again.”

“That’s right,” interrupted the announcer. “Now you can conduct an inquisition in your very own home when you buy the Spanish Inquisition toy set. Put your heretic on the rack or on the revolving wheel until he screams in pain or his arms pop off. Stick him in the Iron Maiden, or roast him over burning coals until
he confesses.”

“Swear you are a heretic,” demanded
the boy.

“I swear
daily, sir.”

“Impudent atheist! Throw him in the
Iron Maiden.”