The Tortured Rebel (13 page)

The bike hit an outcrop of rocks much farther downhill. The petrol tank must have been punctured because there was a flash of flames, an explosion and then a thick cloud of black smoke spiralling into the sky.

The body of the rider was absolutely still.

Jet reached it in about three strides and didn’t even feel his boots hitting the ground. He wasn’t breathing as he dropped to his knees and rolled the body gently towards him. He had never been this afraid.

Ever.

Becca’s eyes were open. Staring at him with disbelief.

‘Am I dead?’

‘Not for lack of trying.’ Jet made no effort to hide his fury. ‘You
idiot.
What the hell did you think you were
doing?’

Where had he come from?

And why was he so angry?

Had she bumped her head with that spill? Nothing hurt. So she’d been going a bit fast, so what? Winning the battle of control over an adversary like an unsealed road was the kind of rush that made life worth living. As if Jet didn’t know that as well as she did.

Carefully, Becca sat up. She eased her helmet off and tilted her neck to one side and then the other. Nothing hurt so that was good. She took a deep breath. Her ribs felt OK, too.

Jet was still crouched right beside her. Waiting for an answer.

Glaring at her.

‘You know perfectly well what I was doing. You’ve done it often enough yourself.’

‘I do not.’

‘How fast were you going on
your
bike, Jet? To catch up with me? I
know
this road—the camber of every twist. I’ve done it a hundred times.’

‘Hey … I wasn’t doing it for
fun.’

‘Neither was I, dammit.’ Becca glared back at him.

The frown lines on Jet’s forehead seemed to move. To become puzzled instead of angry. Some of the tension left his body and he sank lower until he was sitting beside her with the tussock making a surprisingly
comfortable cushion. He fiddled with the catch on his helmet to take it off. It was still hot, even though the sun was well into its descent now. They had an hour or two of dusk and then it would start getting dark. It was very, very quiet. Apart from the occasional bird call, there was obviously no one else for miles around.

It was Jet who broke the silence.

‘Then … why, Becca?’

She couldn’t look directly at him. She needed to try and find the words. She also needed to find the courage to utter them.

‘You
know,’ she said finally. ‘When you cheat death and you’re safe again, you can feel alive. Really alive. Like you’re making the most of every second and … and you
have
to do that because.’

‘Because you don’t know how many seconds you might have,’ Jet finished for her.

Becca nodded. Whatever rush her ride had given her was wearing off. Things
did
hurt. Her shoulder was aching and there was an odd pain in her chest that made it hard to take a deep breath.

‘And it’s the same when you challenge yourself at work,’ Jet continued. ‘The bigger and scarier the challenge the better, because you feel safe when it’s over and you feel like you’ve done something worthwhile.’ His voice was so soft it was virtually a whisper. ‘Like
you
are worthwhile.’

Becca rolled her shoulder with caution. It still worked. ‘Doesn’t last, though, does it?’ she asked sadly. ‘The thrill. That safe feeling.’

‘No.’ Jet’s breath escaped in a weary sigh. ‘I guess that’s why people like us go hunting for it all over again. Why we keep doing dangerous,
stupid
things.’

‘Like crashing helicopters.’

‘And bikes.’

They both looked farther downhill at the smouldering remains of her motorbike. Becca shivered.

‘I could have killed myself,’ she said quietly. ‘You’re right. I am an idiot.’

Jet put his arm around her. ‘Yeah … don’t do it again, OK?’

Becca said nothing. She snuggled closer to the warmth of Jet’s body, loving the feeling of his arm holding her so securely.

It took her back to those precious minutes of lying in his arms, in his bed, on the ship. Feeling like there was nowhere else in the world she ever wanted to be. Nowhere that could feel that safe.

And, suddenly, she could see the truth and it was so simple.

The rush you got by putting your body in danger and surviving was purely a physical thing. If you were brave enough to put your heart and soul into danger, the rush of surviving would be a safety that would never have to fade. You’d never have to keep hunting because if you found it and looked after it, it would just get stronger and stronger.

But you couldn’t do it on your own. For the first time in her adult life Becca had to admit she couldn’t rely only on herself. She needed someone else. Jet.

‘You know why we keep doing it?’ she ventured. ‘And why that thrill gets harder to find so you have to keep doing bigger and more dangerous stuff?’

‘Because we get good at it.’

‘No. It’s because we know what we’re really scared
of. We’re happy to risk our bodies but we’re too afraid to risk our hearts.’

The deep rumble of his voice could be felt as easily as heard. ‘I’m not afraid.’

The way his arm tightened around her gave Becca a rather different answer, however. One that gave her the courage she really needed.

‘I love you, Jet,’ she said.

He made another rumbling sound. A kind of growl that was totally incomprehensible but it made Becca’s heart skip and then soar as it chased away the last of that fear.

‘You love
me
,’ she said softly. ‘That’s why you came after me, wasn’t it? Why you’re so mad at me.’

‘I’m mad because you’ve ruined a perfectly good bike.’

Becca said nothing. She just smiled.

After a long, long silence Jet bent his head to look down at her. ‘Of course I love you,’ he growled. ‘You’re—’

A final flash of fear came. Surely he wasn’t going to say she was Matt’s little sister?

‘You’re … you.’ Jet’s voice sounded curiously thick. ‘I think I always loved you. But.’

‘But you think there’s no way we can ever be together.’

The silence was alive now. Tense. Terribly important.

‘You think that loving someone and letting them love you is stupid because it’s so dangerous. And that if you don’t, you can protect yourself from ever getting really hurt.’

His arm tightened even more around her. Enough to
make her shoulder ache harder but there was no way Becca wanted him to loosen that possessive kind of grip. There was an edge of desperation in the hold that squeezed her heart to breaking point and made that odd pain more intense. She didn’t have a chest injury. She just had a heart that needed healing.

She slipped her arms around this man she loved so much.

‘Have you ever stopped to think how much we miss out on by thinking like that? That
that
is what’s really stupid?’

‘Maybe …’ The admission was cautious. ‘Once or twice. recently.’

‘What if we got told, right now, that we both only had a day to live? How would you want to spend it?’

‘In bed.’ She could hear the smile in his voice. ‘With you.’

‘Mmm.’ Becca tilted her face up and found her lips only an inch or two away from Jet’s. ‘Good answer.’

The kiss was perfect. Soft and slow. So tender it made her melt. It could easily have grown into something much more passionate but Becca pulled back. She needed to finish what she’d started. For both their sakes.

‘What if it was a year, Jet?’

‘I’d still want to spend it with you.’

Becca gave a soft chuckle. ‘In bed?’

‘Not
all
the time. We could do something else in the daytimes.’

‘Like dodging landmines in Afghanistan?’

‘No way. You’re not going anywhere near anything that dangerous.’

‘Maybe you could be a flying doctor and I could be your pilot.’

‘Hmm.’ Jet was actually giving this serious thought. ‘If we only had a year, wouldn’t you want to have a bit more of a challenge? Use your skills to do something a little bit dangerous but really worthwhile?’

‘Like what? ‘

‘Oh … join Médicins Sans Frontières, perhaps?’

‘Not a bad idea.’ Becca thought about it for a nanosecond. ‘No, it’s a great idea. Let’s do it.’

‘OK.’

‘But what then?’

‘What do you mean? You said we only had a year to live.’

‘What if we don’t? It’s far more likely that we’ll be some of the lucky ones and have thirty or forty or fifty years left.’

She could actually hear Jet swallow. He was holding her with both arms now. As though he never wanted to let her go. As though he couldn’t.

‘I’d still want to spend them with you. I’d want a house for us to live in and … and kids. A little girl who looked just like you.’

‘And a boy? ‘

She could lose herself in those dark eyes that were fixed on hers. She could read exactly what was going on behind them, too. A little boy might look like her, as well. Like Matt. And she could see something else. Something she’d never, ever seen before.

‘You’re … crying.’

‘Am not. I haven’t cried since I was about six years old.’

Becca stroked the moisture away from his cheeks as Jet squeezed his eyes shut.

‘What happened to Matt.it wasn’t your fault,’ she said softly. ‘I know that now. Can you ever forgive me?’

Jet cleared his throat. ‘Don’t need to.’

‘Yes, you do.’

‘No.’ His eyes were open again, locked on hers. ‘I forgave you a long time ago, Becca. About the same time I finally forgave myself.’ He touched her lips with his. ‘I love you. I can’t spend another day away from you because … if you’re not right, it might be the only chance I get to feel like this.’

Becca caught her lip between her teeth. ‘Alive?’

He was watching her mouth but his gaze lifted to catch hers again.
‘Really
alive,’ he murmured. ‘Like I’ve just been born or something.’

He kissed her again and this time it spiralled into much more than tenderness. Becca found herself pushed into the tussock but it put pressure on her shoulder and she winced. Jet drew back instantly.

‘You
have
hurt yourself, haven’t you?’

‘Just a bruise or two. Nothing a soak in a bath and a good sleep won’t fix. Don’t suppose you could give me a ride back to town?’

Jet helped her up to her feet. ‘Not a problem.’ His grin was wicked. ‘You don’t really think you’re going to get a good sleep, though, do you?’

Becca grinned right back. ‘Not a problem. I can sleep when I’m dead.’ She felt his hand tighten around hers and she squeezed back. ‘That’s a very long way off,’ she assured Jet. ‘I know I’m right. We’re going to be amongst the lucky ones. We’ll have the rest of our lives. For ever.’

‘We’re already the luckiest people on earth. We’ve got each other.’ He started leading her up the slope towards
where his bike was on the road but then he paused and smiled down at her. ‘For ever is a nice long time, isn’t it?’

Becca nodded happily. She dropped the helmet she was carrying and put both her hands around Jet’s neck.

‘But don’t you go thinking that’s a good excuse not to make the most of every second.’

She didn’t need to exert any pressure to bring his face down to hers.

‘I won’t,’ he murmured, as his lips covered hers. ‘And that’s a promise. I love you.’

Becca wanted to say it back but her lips and breath had been captured. She had to say it with her kiss instead.

And that was not a problem.

T
HE
three men stood in close proximity.

Tall. Dark. Silent.

Clad in uniform black leather, motorbike helmets dangled from one hand. They each held an icy, uncapped bottle of lager in the other hand.

Moving as one, they raised the bottles and touched them together, the dull clink of glass a sombre note.

Speaking as one, their voices were equally sombre.

‘To Matt,’ was all they said.

‘Yes,’ a much softer voice chimed in. ‘To Matt.’

The smaller figure making a circle with the three men had to stretch to touch her bottle to the others. She also had a motorbike helmet dangling from her hand and was dressed in black leather from head to toe, albeit with a few more decorative studs.

‘Eleven years,’ Jet said solemnly.

‘And you’ve always managed to be together to make this tribute ride? Every single year?’

‘Every year,’ Max nodded.

‘It’s sacred,’ Rick added. ‘Always will be.’

‘Sure will.’ Max was smiling now. ‘This marks another anniversary now, too. A really happy one.’

‘The day you met Ellie.’ Jet nodded. ‘And Mattie was born.’

‘I wish I’d known,’ Becca said wistfully. ‘About the rides. I used to go and put flowers on Matt’s grave on the anniversary and sit there and talk to him for a while. I’ll bet he was laughing at me coz he knew I was missing out on the fun you guys were having.’

‘He comes with us,’ Max said. ‘Rides pillion.’

The others nodded. Jet’s glance at Becca was a warning. ‘That’s all you’re going to be doing from now on,’ he said quietly enough not to be overheard. ‘If that.’

Becca looked mutinous but Jet’s smile had a smug edge to it.

‘Let’s join the girls,’ Max suggested. ‘The
other
girls,’ he amended hastily as he caught Becca’s glare.

Sarah and Ellie were in the kitchen as the small group came inside Max’s house from where they’d been out on the terrace. They both exchanged glances with their husbands, understanding their absence but welcoming them back from a space they hadn’t wanted to intrude on.

The ‘bad boy’ space.

Only now it was the ‘bad boy and girl’ space.

One girl, anyway.
His
girl. He could feel his chest having to expand to accommodate that warm, buzzy sensation. Pride? No. It was more than that. Way more.

Jet draped his arm across Becca’s shoulders, loving the way her hair had grown long enough to tickle his hand. Loving even more the way she pressed in closer. As if it was exactly where she wanted to be—as close as possible to him.

‘How was the ride?’ Sarah asked.

‘Awesome.’

A small boy with soft black curls was at the far end of the country-style kitchen. He was bent over, his hands firmly grasped by a baby, who was trying very hard to walk but had no balance. A large, shaggy dog was plodding beside them, watching the progress intently. The boy’s face was tilted up, however, his gaze fixed on Rick.

‘I’ll be able to go along with you one day, won’t I, Dad?’

‘Sure.’

‘Over my dead body,’ Sarah said mildly.

Rick grinned and winked at Josh. ‘I’m working on it,’ he told the boy. ‘We’ve still got plenty of time to convince your mum.’

Josh sighed theatrically. ‘Becca got to go this time,’ he grumbled.

‘Of course she did. Matt was her big brother.’ Max dropped to his haunches and held his arms out. With a squeal of glee, the baby let go of Josh’s hands and hurled herself forward in a tottering run that could only end in collapse. Fortunately, Max had judged the distance perfectly and he swept the tiny girl into his arms and stood up.

‘Did Mummy see that, do you think, Mattie?’

‘She did,’ Ellie smiled. She planted a kiss on the back of her daughter’s head. ‘Clever girl.’

‘I’ll have one of those,’ Max said. ‘I’m clever, too.’

Rick snorted. ‘Who told you that?’

‘Hey … I got us all together for the anniversary, didn’t I? You said I’d never persuade Jet and Becca to come back from the wilds of South America.’

‘Actually,’ Jet said apologetically, ‘we had to come back anyway.’

‘Oh?’

They had everyone’s attention all of a sudden.

‘But didn’t you plan on spending a full year with MSF?’

‘They have rules, apparently.’

‘About what?’

‘About where you’re allowed to be if you’re pregnant.’

The silence was absolute for all of two heartbeats and then it erupted into cries of congratulations and everybody trying to be heard at once. Harry, the dog, let out a volley of excited barking and baby Mattie clapped her hands and shrieked joyfully. Rick and Max thumped Jet on the back and then hugged Becca a lot more gently.

Sarah and Ellie were both smiling through happy tears.

‘How far along are you?’

‘Twelve weeks.’

Sarah and Rick looked at each other and they both laughed.

‘What’s so funny?’ Jet demanded.

‘Well, we were kind of waiting for the right moment to tell you lot but—’

‘I’m twelve weeks along, too,’ Sarah told Becca.

‘They’ll be like twins,’ Ellie said happily. ‘Except. where are you going to live?’

‘Haven’t thought that far yet,’ Jet said. ‘We might hang around for a bit, though. We thought maybe it’s about time we got, you know.’

‘Married?’
The squeal from Ellie could easily rival one of Mattie’s.

‘Your garden’s had a bit of practice as a venue,’ Becca said to Max. ‘We were wondering if—’

‘Yes,’ Max interrupted, grinning from ear to ear. ‘Of course. When?’

‘Soon.’ Jet and Becca spoke at the same time.

‘It’ll be the third wedding here,’ Ellie observed. ‘You guys are extra lucky, did you know that?’

Jet looked down at the woman he loved with all his heart and soul. She was looking right back at him and it was exactly the same look of love that was making her eyes glow like stars.

‘Yeah …’ His smile got caught. On that lump in his throat, maybe. ‘I knew that.’

‘I think we all are.’ Max had one arm around Ellie now, with Mattie still tucked under the other arm. Rick was moving towards Sarah.

Josh eyed all the adults in the room. ‘You’re all going to do gross stuff like kissing, aren’t you?’ He sighed, even more heavily than he had last time. ‘Come on, Harry. We’re outta here.’