The Traitor's Daughter (14 page)

It was a long time before Hugh answered. “No, my lady,
there is no love there. I do not care to love anymore.”

Alais stared at him, shocked by his answer. This was not
what she had expected him to say. She knew that he spoke the truth and it cut
into her heart.

“I am sorry. To live without love is not to live at
all.”

His face was stricken and he whispered, “I know.”

Hugh could hardly bear to be alone with Alais now that
she knew that he was no more than a corpse pretending to be a living, breathing
man. He should have lied and pretended that he was passionate about Lady
Katherine, save that even if Alais did not recognise the lie on his lips, she
would have known him for a liar as the years passed and there was no warmth
between him and Lady Katherine and he knew above all other things that he did
not want Alais to think him base. He had not even known before he said it that
he had accepted that he would marry Lady Katherine. He had been truthful about
his reasons for choosing her. If he had to marry, it should be someone healthy
this time. His wife should be intelligent and well-educated and able to run his
manor house at Hill and this house after his father’s death. It did not escape
his notice that these were all qualities that Alais possessed as well as beauty
and compassion, but Alais was not his to desire; she was his father’s wife and
could not be his, no matter how perfect she would have been.

Lady Katherine had been at Liss long enough for him to
know her character. She was shallow and self-centred. Her clothes were more
important to her than anything else. She esteemed no one more highly than
herself. He acknowledged that her lineage was more ancient and noble than his
own. Her family, like Alais’, had arrived in England from Normandy with William
the Bastard. His own family had well-hidden Saxon roots and had married its
daughters to the local Norman lords. Eventually his great-grandfather had been
ennobled for his service to the king’s grandfather and had taken his name from
the estate that a grateful king had also given him. His grandfather and father
had built on that beginning until his father was the wealthiest man in this
part of England.

And none of it was important to Hugh. He would marry
Lady Katherine because she was there. If another heiress had been a guest at
Liss, he would consider marrying her. It did not matter to him who he married,
but he knew that he must marry. He thought bitterly that it was a perfect
match, because there was no love on either side; not even liking on his. It
seemed to him now that loving someone was a great weakness. He had loved his
mother and Isabella, but still his father and brothers and sister had been able
to hurt him through them. Now they were dead, his family had no power over him
at all and he intended to keep it that way. They would certainly not be able to
hurt him through Lady Katherine, although there was always the chance that he
would learn to be affectionate towards his children, if there were children.
His wife had not enjoyed his attentions in the bedchamber and he had no reason
to suppose that Lady Katherine would feel any differently. He did not seem to
have his father’s ability to make women want to bed with him. Alais moved away
from him and he awoke from his reverie.

“Where would you have me take you?” he asked, when Alais
had deposited her meagre possessions in the chest.

“I do not know. I should learn my way about the house, I
suppose.”

He noted with approval that she had not chosen to go to
the solar and suffer further humiliation at the hands of Lady Katherine. Her
independent spirit would not be well-received at Liss, but she knew her own
worth and her own place, although he doubted that his father would agree with
her assessment of either. He showed her the bedrooms, the kitchen, the dairy,
the still-room and the bakery. This was her world. What had she called it? Her
realm. The place where she should reign supreme. All the while they kept up an
inconsequential chatter about how the house was run and who were the important
servants. Then a servant found them and announced that her bath was ready. Hugh
took his leave, promising to retrieve her when the evening meal was ready.

When he returned to her room, having furthered his
preparations for his departure on the morrow, Alais was waiting for him. She
was dressed in one of Isabella’s gowns. Hugh could not stop himself from
remembering how happy his sister had been when he had returned from London with
the bolt of velvet from which it was made. She and their mother had spent a lot
of time thinking about how best to use the fabric and eventually made a number
of garments. The one that Alais wore now had been one of her favourites.
Although Alais was taller and her colouring was much darker, for a moment he
thought he saw Isabella standing before him. He bowed deeply to cover his
confusion and had recovered himself by the time he rose to look at her face.
She had blushed a pretty pink at his obeisance. He realised that it was the
first time that he had seen her dressed as befitted her station. The dress she
had worn at Hill had been dirty and in need of mending after her flight through
the burning streets and the clothes she had worn for the last three days were
best forgotten. Now she looked like the lady she was in a fine gown with her
hair coiled and neatly hidden under her headdress. The dress was tight on her;
he had been incorrect about her size in comparison to Isabella and it served
only to emphasise her feminine figure, in stark contrast to the shapeless
clothes which had hung on her on their journey. He finally remembered why he
had come.

“My lady, the meal is ready. If you would accompany me.”

He held out his arm and Alais placed her hand on his.
She obviously had no idea how beautiful she was and had no knowledge of the
effect she was having on him. There was no danger to either of them between
tonight and his departure in the morning, but he was beginning to wonder how he
could bear to return here and see her as his father’s wife. He did not know
what he would do. He knew that he did not want to watch her die slowly as he
had watched his mother die.

 Hugh took his father’s chair at the head of the table
and invited Alais to sit at his right hand. Since they were the first to
arrive, he watched the reactions of his family as they took their own seats.
Lady Katherine showed the most displeasure but seemed content to sit at his
left hand. Stephen’s reaction surprised him the most. His brother looked at
Alais and smiled. Hugh knew his brother well enough to know that the smile did
not bode well for Alais and he was minded to tell her to be on her guard with
him. Stephen was a skilled liar and it was best not to accept anything he did
or said at face value. He was also very clever and extremely manipulative. Hugh
had no idea what Stephen intended to do with his life. His wife had not brought
him property or wealth. As the third son, their father had not thought it
important to provide for him financially. He had been intended for the church
and had spent many years at Oxford. Last year, however, he had asked his
father’s permission to marry. The permission had been granted and he had
brought Catherine back to Liss, where their daughter, Philippa, had been born
in the spring. Hugh knew that his father was tiring of Stephen’s presence and
dependence. It would not be long before he would be asked to leave and make his
own way. Unlike Hugh, he was no soldier, and Hugh had no idea where he would go
or what he would do now that he had shut the door on the church. The only thing
to which he was suited was intrigue, but Hugh could not see him gaining a place
at court. Catherine was pleasant enough, but Hugh did not understand why his
brother had given up what would have been a good career in the church for her.
She was not particularly beautiful or clever and her dowry had been small. She
had brought him no property at all. The one thing Hugh did understand about his
brother was that he liked to live comfortably and he understood that Catherine
was not going to bring her husband the wealth to bring that about. The only
thing he did not consider was that his brother had fallen completely and
utterly in love with his wife.

Marguerite’s husband, Richard, did not bother to hide
his displeasure at Alais’ arrival. Until Philippa had been born it had looked
as if all the de Liss inheritance must eventually pass to his own son, since
none of Sir William’s sons had managed to produce an heir. Now Sir William was
marrying again and could easily produce more heirs. Hugh did not find it easy
to understand the greed of an already wealthy man, but he knew that Richard
coveted ever more land and more money.

Hugh had a smile for Agnes as she took her seat with
Joan and Edmund. With her came Elizabeth, his oldest brother’s widow. She
greeted him with a kiss and was introduced to Alais. She took her place with
Agnes and Joan. Hugh was displeased that his father had chosen to humiliate his
daughter-in-law for her failure to bear Geoffrey sons by seating her away from
the family. Elizabeth, however, had accepted her demotion from the family
serenely. Hugh thought that she was happier since his brother’s death. She had
endured years of misery at the hands of his father because of her inability to
conceive. Now she was still only twenty-two and if she had not been barren, it
would have been relatively easy for her to find another husband. Although not
beautiful, she was comely enough in appearance and she worked hard. Hugh did
not know what to do for the best for her. He had hoped that she would enter a
convent, or return to her family, but she seemed content to continue at Liss.
He did not know why, since his father berated her constantly for having failed
to provide him with grandsons. It seemed to have little effect on her. She was
heiress to substantial estates in her own right, but no man would be interested
in her if she could not bear him sons.

Once everyone was assembled the meal began. Hugh
wondered, as he often did, why his father kept such poor cooks. No wonder the
people in the hall looked poor and thin, the food was not such that would give
them much appetite to eat it. Everyone here was well-dressed; Sir William set
great store by how his people were dressed, but he was not quite as interested
in what they had to eat. He did not seem to taste the food himself and no one,
save Hugh, cared to say anything to him about its quality.

Now, he was finally able to think about what he had not
wanted to think about all day. He had to think about what had happened last
night when he had almost kissed Alais. If he had not heard Edmund cough quietly
and turn in bed, he was sure that he would have continued and Alais would be
ruined. He was not sure when Alais had become an object of desire, rather than
a surrogate sister, but last night the truth of what Edmund had said was brought
home to him. He had wanted Alais in the way a man wants a woman, not in the way
a man keeps company with his sister. He knew that he did not love her. He had
told her himself that he was no longer capable of loving. No, he was lusting
after his father’s betrothed wife. It did not matter whether she was his
father’s wife or not, it was wrong to lust after her in this way. It was clear
where his duty lay. If he stayed, it would not be long before the gossip
started. Alais would have a bad enough time of it with his father for a
husband; Hugh had no wish to make things more difficult for her than they would
already be. Fortunately, he had a reason for leaving her here and going to
London. They would both be lost if he stayed. Even today they had found so many
opportunities to be alone. He had no real duties here. Once he had completed
his training with his father’s men at arms every morning, he would have nothing
else to do save flirt with the ladies. No, it would be better for both of them
if he went to London. When he returned Alais’ marriage to his father would be
blessed and consummated. He did not linger over what it would mean for her
marriage to be consummated. He knew what his father was capable of. His mother
had tried to hide it from her children, but Hugh had overheard one of his
mistresses talking in the kitchen when he was a boy. He had gone out into the
yard and thrown up at the thought of his gentle mother enduring such things.
Now it was Alais’ turn and there was nothing he could do to save her. Her only
hope was that her husband would die soon and this was no hope at all. Hugh’s
father was the healthiest man he knew. He was never ill. He was also the
luckiest. Many times in battle he had done things for which his life should
have been forfeit, but he had survived.

No, Hugh’s only hope was to abandon Lady Alais to her
fate. He would propose to Lady Katherine, marry her as soon as possible and
take her to Hill where he would get an heir on her. Then he would go to France
and fight and die.

Alais looked out over the hall. It was not what she had
expected. This number of people should make much more noise, but they were very
subdued, almost as if they were afraid to raise their voices. She did not want
to continue to make the comparison with Leigh. She could not go back, so it was
pointless, but Leigh was more cheerful, the food was better and the hall
warmer. She missed her cousins laughing and telling jokes. The family here were
sombre and the servants shuffled noiselessly around, suddenly appearing at her
side with food and drink. There was little talk at the top table, except
between Alais, Hugh and Katherine. They struck her as careful and guarded. For
the first time, she realised that she would spend the rest of her life among
people who did not immediately say what they were thinking. There would be
secrets at Liss in a way there never had been at Leigh. She began to understand
why Hugh and Edmund said so little and she determined to learn from them. No
one here could know what had happened at Hill and on their journey. She hoped
that Edmund would not even tell Joan.

Alais was beginning to think that all her mother’s years
of preparations would be wasted. She had tried not to have too many
preconceived ideas about what her life would be like after she married Sir
William. In the four years of her betrothal she had paid more attention to
etiquette and running a house than she had before. In the past she had been
happy enough to assist her brothers with the land and the animals, but she
doubted Sir William would need her help as they had done.  It was not a woman’s
place to look after the estates unless her husband was away and then her main
duty was to ensure that he was not being cheated by his steward. Although she
knew much about farming, she doubted that knowledge would be used here. After
four years as a widower Sir William needed a wife to run his house. Alais had
worked hard to understand how a household should be managed and had gone
through the household accounts with her mother and spent many hours with Martin
the steward finding out the few things she still did not know about what need
to be done about the manor and who did it. She could sew and spin and read
aloud. She knew which herbs worked best for the most common illnesses. She knew
how to make cream and butter and small beer, although these things were not
expected of a lady. She would be able to supervise or instruct her servants as
necessary. And now she was confident that she could be a true helpmeet to her
husband, but she was worried about the things that no one had told her about
how she should please her husband. She was under no illusion that either one of
them would fall in love with the other. At forty-two, Sir William was
twenty-six years older than her and she had to stop herself thinking of him as
an old man. He was the same age as her uncle Giles and he was lively enough and
fit enough. Whilst she had hoped to marry a man of her own age, she knew that
she would have that opportunity when Sir William died, although she was the
daughter of a traitor and lucky to find anyone prepared to marry her at all,
let alone one of the richest lords in the county and a friend of the king. She
had spent many nights since the messenger arrived with a date for the wedding
wondering if he would take her to court and if he did, how she should behave. Finally,
she had asked her mother and her mother had been compelled to point out that it
was unlikely that she would be welcomed in the court of King Edward, as her
father had been one of those who had plotted and brought about the downfall and
death of his father. “But,” Alais had said, “the king does not bear a grudge.
He allows us to live here. He allowed Guy and then Raymond and then me to be
the heir.”