The Treason of Isengard (37 page)

Gandalf still gives the Book of Mazarbul to Frodo, for him to give to Bilbo 'if you get a chance.'

In his last words before the attack on the Chamber of Mazarbul began Gandalf says that 'the Twenty-first Hall should be on the seventh level, that is five above the Gate level' (six in FR). He still says

'There are goblins... They are evil and large: black Orcs', but the troll becomes 'a great cave-troll' as in FR, and its three-toed foot was changed on the manuscript to a toeless foot.(13) Sam now gets a wound in the affray, 'a cut on the arm', which as mentioned above appears in the original draft of 'Lothlorien' ('The cut in his arm was paining him', p. 220). A rider to the present text changed this to 'a glancing cut in his shoulder'. 'The sword of Elendil' still has no other name, Branding being substituted later in pencil (see p. 165, and p. 274 and note 19).

In the story of the flight of the Company from the Chamber of Mazarbul the new version followed the original draft fairly closely. As Frodo and Sam peered up the steps they heard Gandalf muttering, and the sound, they thought, of his staff tapping. The searing flash like lightning, the wrenching of their swords in their hands, and the great rush of wind down the stairs forcing them to their knees, were still present (the blasting of the Chamber remaining a deliberate act); and Gandalf still says 'I have lost part of my beard and an inch of my eyebrows'. The long descent in the dark down flights of stairs now enters, Gandalf feeling the ground with his staff 'like a blind man'; but at the words 'Almost they began to hope against hope that they would escape' (FR p. 341) this new version stops, and all this part of the story, from the killing of the orc-chieftain in the Chamber, was rejected.(14)

The development of the chapter from this point took much unravelling, but it seems clear that my father decided at this juncture that further drafting was required before the fair copy on which he was engaged could be continued. He therefore wrote now a new rough draft carrying the story from the flight of the Company from the Chamber of Mazarbul to their final escape out of Moria; and having done this, he returned to the fair copy and went on with it again, following the draft quite closely. I believe that all this was continuous work, that it can be shown that the story of the chapter 'The Bridge of Khazad-dum' was brought almost to its final form before the story of Lothlorien was begun (see p. 204 and note 20). For clarity, in the remainder of this chapter I will call the new draft 'B' and the fair copy manuscript 'C', the original draft, which has been given in full, being

'A'.(15)

This new draft B for the latter part of the chapter was written very fast, mostly in soft pencil, and is hard to read, but for much of its length the final narrative was now almost achieved, with scarcely any differences of substance. Gandalf still says 'I nearly killed myself', and he does not say 'I have met my match, and have nearly been destroyed'; he knows 'one or two (shutting-spells) that will hold, though they don't stop the door being smashed if great strength comes'; and he says that the Orcs on the other side of the door 'seemed to be talking their horrible secret language, which I never knew more than a word or two of.' In the fair copy C these become: 'I ran up against something unexpected I haven't met before'; 'I know several that will hold'; and 'talking their hideous secret language.'

The overwriting of the erased passage in the primary text A (p. 196) forms a part of the new draft, and the new text (from 'They now went on again' to ' "Now for the last race!" cried Gandalf') is so close to the final form in FR (pp. 342 - 3) as to need no commentary.

In the last part of the chapter (from 'He turned left and sped across the smooth floor of the hall') the drafting of the new version is as rough as was the original text A that it replaced in this part, the language unpolished and the conclusion scarcely legible. The actual narrative of FR pp. 344 - 6 is present, however, except in these points.

The Balrog when first seen beyond the fiery fissure is described as 'of man-shape maybe, and not much larger' (cf. pp. 197, 199). The fair copy C has here likewise 'and not much greater' (FR: 'of man-shape maybe, yet greater').(16) Gimli's cry of 'Durin's Bane!' and Gandalf's words 'Now I understand' were still absent from both B and C, Gimli's words (only) being added in pencil to the latter; on this matter see pp. 185 - 6 and note 16 to the last chapter.

Following Legolas' cry 'Ai! Ai! A Balrog is come! ' it is told in B that

'he turned to fly and an arrow struck him in the shoulder. He stumbled and began to crawl on all fours along the Bridge.' That an arrow pierced Legolas in the shoulder is told in the original version of the story (p. 198). In B my father struck out the incident, then ticked it for retention; but it is absent from C. Boromir's horncall is absent from both texts, though my father added it in pencil to C, at first placing it after 'A Balrog is come!' but then deciding to put it in earlier, before

'Legolas turned and set an arrow to the string', so that it was the Orcs who were momentarily halted by the blast of the horn and not the Balrog. In neither text do Aragorn and Boromir remain at the bridge-foot, and thus it is said subsequently that Trotter 'ran back out to the bridge' and 'ran out onto the Bridge', i.e. from the doorway where he had been standing with the others.

In B it is said only that the Balrog 'stood facing him': in C 'the Balrog halted facing him, and the shadow about him reached out like great wings'.(17) Immediately afterwards, where in FR the Balrog drew itelf up to a great height, and its wings were spread from wall to wall', neither B nor C has the words 'to a great height' nor speaks of the

'wings'. Gandalf's words to the Balrog remain in B very close to the original draft (p. 198), with 'White Fire' for 'the White Fire'; in C this was changed in the act of writing: 'You cannot pass. I am the master of White Flame. [Neither Red Fire nor Black Shadow can >] The Red Fire cannot come this way. Go back to the Shadow!'

Both B and C continued a little way beyond the point where 'The Bridge of Khazad - dum' ends in FR, the former giving first a description of Dimrill Dale and Mirrormere, which was omitted in C.

Northward it ran up into a glen of shadows between two great arms of the mountains, over which towered three white peaks.

Before them (west) [read east](18) the mountains marched to a sudden end. To their right (south) they receded endlessly into the distance. Less than a mile away (and below them where they stood on the skirts of the mountains) lay a mere - just clear of the shadow, under the sunny sky. But its waters looked dark, a deep blue such as the night sky seen through a lighted window.

Its surface was utterly still. About it lay a smooth sward, sloping swiftly down on all sides towards its bare unbroken brink.

There lay the Mirror Mere. High on the shores above stood a rough broken column. Durin's Stone.

This passage was an overwriting in ink, but the pencilled text beneath, visible here and there, was written continuously with what precedes (the Company looking back at Moria Gate), and is certainly the most original form of the description of Mirrormere. Against it my father wrote Not yet used. He used it in fact in the original draft of

'Lothlorien' (p. 219): a clear demonstration that the new draft B of the latter part of the present chapter preceded work on 'Lothlorien' (see note 20).

B then continues to its conclusion thus:

'So we have passed through Moria,' said Trotter at last, passing his hand over his eyes. 'I know not what put the words into my mouth, but did I not say to Gandalf: If you pass the Gates of Moria, beware!(19) Alas that I should have spoken true. No fortune could have been so ill as this: hardly... had all perished.

But now we must do as we can without our friend and guide. At least we may yet avenge him. Let us gird ourselves. It is better for us to strike hard than to mourn long.'

With slightly altered wording this was used as the conclusion of the chapter in the fair copy C also.(20)

Throughout C, Trotter (as he is named at every occurrence save once where Gandalf names him) was subsequently changed to Elfstone (see pp. 277 - 8).

NOTES.

1. Though the words 'it only a cover' seem clear, my father cannot have intended 'it only had a cover', as the following text shows.

2. A dwarf Frar, companion of Gloin, appeared in the earliest drafts of 'The Council of Elrond' (VI.397, 412), where he was replaced by Burin son of Balin. The three Dwarf-names Frar, Loni, Nali, retained in FR, were again taken from the Old Norse Elder Edda

- whereas Floi (slain in the Dimrill Dale) was not.

3. On the conception of two distinct entrances to Moria from the West, which goes back to the original version of 'The Ring Goes South', see p. 178. The striking out (probably at once) of the reference in the previous chapter (ibid.) to 'The Dwarven-door further south' (i.e. south of the Elven-door at the end of the road from Hollin) could be taken as an indication that the present text in fact preceded the new version of 'Moria (i)'. On the other hand, if this were so, it is hard to see why my father should have put in the direction '2 West Gates' at the beginning of the present text (p. 190), seeing that the two entrances were already present in the oldest version of the story of Moria. It seems to me most probable that he wrote '2 West Gates' precisely because he had now changed his mind again; this detail being therefore actually evidence that the first writing of 'Moria (ii)' did follow the new version of 'Moria (i)'. - Further, in the fair copy text of the present chapter Gimli says (p. 201) that 'it was well for us that...

we came to the Elven-door that was closed', though this was at once or soon rejected.

4. In FR Gandalf entrusted the book to Gimli, to give to Dain. - The first page of the manuscript, which ends at approximately this point, was written in pencil, but from the beginning of Gandalf's reading from the book my father overwrote it in ink - and then, from this point, carried on the initial text in ink. Thus the original drafting of the words and phrases which Gandalf could interpret in the Book of Mazarbul is partly obliterated; but most of the underlying pencil can be made out, and it can be seen that the text given here (itself emended) did not greatly differ from what it superseded.

5. My father first wrote here: 'veritable Orcs'. Cf. the original sketch for the chapter given in VI.443: 'Gandalf says there are goblins -

of very evil kind, larger than usual, real orcs', and my discussion of 'goblins' and 'orcs' in VI.437 note 35. In FR at this point Gandalf says: 'There are Orcs, very many of them. And some are large and evil: black Uruks of Mordor.'

6. In FR it was at this point that Boromir, closing the west door of the chamber, wedged it with broken sword-blades and splinters of wood. It is odd that in the present text it is said here that Boromir kicked the wedges away from the door and heaved it to, and yet immediately afterwards the door 'began to move inwards grinding at the wedges and thrusting them back.'

7. This sentence replaced: 'Gandalf leaped forward and hewed the arm with Glamdring.'

8. The reforging of the Sword of Elendil has been told in the new version of 'The Ring Goes South' (p. 165).

9. In a subsequent version of the passage Gandalf says 'There is no time for counting wounds.'

10. This sentence was first written: 'As they ran cries and the noise of many feet entered the far end behind them.'

11 This passage, with the two references to the appearance of the Trolls, is confused. Though all was written at the same time, phrases were added and rejected phrases were left standing, and my father's intention is in places impossible to determine.

12. Written in the margin at the time of composition: 'Go on... Do I fight in vain? Fly!' Cf. Trotter's words 'At least we can obey his last command' in the text immediately following.

13. The oddity of the original story (see p. 193 and note 6) in the matter of the wedging of the western door is now removed, for when Boromir had kicked away the wedges and heaved it to he then re-wedged it. All the passages concerned were corrected, probably at once, to give the story as it is in FR.

14. The rejected part of the manuscript (a single sheet written on both sides) was found among my father's papers, the rest of it having gone to Marquette.

15. The sequence of development in this chapter can be expressed thus:

A -> C (C interrupted); B -> C (C continued).

16. In a pencilled addition in C to the scene of the Balrog's fall from the Bridge my father changed 'the stone upon which it stood' (the text of FR) to 'the stone upon which the vast form stood'.

17. The second him is Gandalf, not only from the syntax, but also because the Balrog is always referred to as it. FR has 'the shadow about it'.

18. See p. 237 note 5.

19. Aragorn's words to Gandalf If you pass the doors of Moria, beware! had entered in 'Moria (i)', p. 178.