Modus operandi?
Dear heaven, what had she done?
‘Oh, Rafe.’ Coco buried her face in her hands. ‘I’ve made such a terrible, terrible mess of things.’
Chapter Eighteen
Coco knew Rafe was a man who had no time for tears, but her sobs shook her whole body and her heart felt as if it would break into a thousand pieces.
With an expletive, he placed his coffee on the table, rose and sat next to her.
He hauled her onto his knees and rocked her, his cheek resting on the top of her head.
Shame flooded her as the scent of him, the feel of him under her cheek, aroused and warmed her blood.
How could she think of such things when her father had dodged a bullet?
Thank God for Rafe, he was her anchor in a world that had become uncertain yet again.
He held her tight and she closed her eyes, absorbing the sound and the feel of the steady thump of his heart.
He’d no idea how long he simply held her.
Rafe nuzzled her hair, the scent of shampoo and her skin was pure Coco and he loved it.
This was supposed to be the easy part.
He had her just where he wanted her.
The conversation he’d had with Charles Monroe last night spun in his mind.
Look after my baby girl, do what it takes to keep her safe, he’d pleaded.
But Rafe couldn’t cope with Coco’s heartbreak, her guilt.
Twice in one day he’d hurt her.
‘I can’t bear to see you like this,’ he whispered.
Struggling to find the right words Rafe pressed a kiss into her hair and waited.
No reply.
He took a deep breath and continued, ‘I need to speak to you. Coco...’
Silence.
He bent his head to look at her.
She was sound asleep.
His breath of relief caught in his throat as he indulged himself in simply looking at her.
Those soft cheeks were flushed now.
A solitary tear clung to a damp eyelash. Her breath rose and fell in a steady rhythm. Half turned into his body, a so soft breast pressed into his ribs and one arm lay around his waist.
Dark circles cast a shadow under her spiky lashes and he pressed his lips to that gorgeous nose.
He lifted her in his arms.
The fragility of her, how small, how light she felt made him hold her close as he carried her through the house and up the stairs to her bedroom.
Rafe placed her on the king-size bed, slid off her boots.
Coco whimpered and curled into a tight ball.
And Rafe knew a fist to the gut would have hurt less.
He rubbed the ache between his ribs.
After a short debate with himself, he toed off his boots and lay beside her on his back staring at the ceiling.
He’d done the right thing.
He knew it.
Kandinsky was an evil bastard.
Coco would have argued for hours and at the end of it still refused to leave her home.
What choice did he have but to appeal to her sense of responsibility?
However, the way he’d gone about protecting her had taken a heavy toll, shattered her.
He’d used her love for her father against her.
Selfishly he wanted her.
His body ached with need for her.
But he could hardly take advantage of an emotional and vulnerable Coco.
She gave a sad little sigh as she slept.
He turned to pull her into the curve of his body.
And fought a war of attrition with his physical response.
This was a nightmare and it was his own bloody fault.
He’d close his eyes for a moment, just to rest them, and to think about what to do.
His last thoughts were he would tell her what he’d done - as soon as they were settled.
That way she couldn’t cause a scene or kill him in front of witnesses.
A dead weight lay across her shoulders and for a moment Coco couldn’t work out where she was.
Her eyes felt swollen.
Then her brain downloaded the events of the past twenty-four hours.
A snuffle made her turn her head and there was Rafe sound asleep and facing her.
He looked fabulous.
Mouth dry, her stomach clenched.
His arm lay across her breasts and she licked her lips as she studied his face.
The memory of the last time she’d seen him asleep washed over her.
The shame of that night was imprinted on her psyche forever.
She’d been eighteen and...
Don’t go there.
But she yielded to the temptation of openly studying those lips, the I-need-a-shave-jaw, the jet-black slash of eyebrows and the valleys and plains of his bone structure.
The man was seriously...
She yelped as his eyes opened and stared directly into hers.
The flash of awareness and the dilation of his pupils matched the delicious curl of liquid lust deep in her belly. Then she let herself sink into the mesmerising dreamy pool of dark eyes the colour of bitter chocolate.
He smiled and her breath caught in her throat.
‘You have girly eyelashes,’ she said breaking the moment and could have cut out her tongue with a blunt knife.
He raised a brow.
‘Nothing girly about me, honey,’ he growled.
Those eyes, dark and intense still held hers.
Her pulse thundered in her ears as her nipples ached, matching the hot rhythm throbbing between her thighs.
Coco forgot to breathe as he bent his head and his mouth captured hers.
His teeth nipped, nibbled her bottom lip, sending a spear of sharp arousal through her system. She opened her mouth and the taste of him spilled through her blood. Her tongue danced with his as his hand slid under her top. Gentle fingers stroked her waist, up her ribs to skim the edge of her naked breast.
His mouth, hard and hot, greedily possessed hers.
The thunder in her ears, the way her stomach fell as her mind went blank, it was, she thought dimly, like being fired out of a rocket. There was nothing soft and gentle about this kiss. It was passionate, bruising and forced her to participate.
He groaned into her mouth, the vibration shimmering through her system
Of their own volition, her fingers tunnelled through his black hair, it felt all silky and soft.
She twisted her body into the lean hard length of his. But strong hands pushed her hips away from his. And Coco gave a little mewl of frustration.
His mouth tasted hers with a thoroughness that made her heart sing. His tongue swept her bottom lip and she opened her mouth with a low moan of need that had her shudder with arousal. Her tongue tangled with his and she sucked it into her mouth.
He tasted fabulous.
Heat, was all she could think. He made every part of her burn. Her breath came now in desperate little pants and she trembled, groaning with need into his mouth.
His strong hands smoothed, exploring the skin of her naked back as she clung to him.
With a long low groan Rafe tore his mouth from hers and gently pushed her away.
Breath panting in his throat he rolled onto his back, his eyes tightly shut.
Heart racing like a hamster on a wheel Coco pressed trembling fingers to her swollen mouth.
After a gargantuan struggle with arousal, disappointment, she turned to him.
Why had he pulled back?
‘Rafe? What’s wrong?’
Eyes still closed he found her hand and brought it to his lips.
‘I should never, never have touched you. I can’t do this. Not now. I can’t...’
Totally bewildered and not enjoying the sensation one little bit, Coco leaned on her elbow and stared down at him.
His lips were in a hard line as his brow creased, his eyes closed tight as if he was in great pain.
What the hell was the matter with him?
She remembered he hadn’t had a girl friend in a while.
Plus his job was incredibly demanding.
Being in charge of operations for Monroe Industries was a huge responsibility. She was well aware it involved more than security.
Perhaps he’d been working too hard and burned out?
It wouldn’t surprise her for a moment since she knew he had a relentless work ethic.
And she had to admit the past few days had been full of stress.
Another thought occurred to her.
Hadn’t a recent magazine article been talking about this very thing?
Apparently erectile dysfunction was common even in young healthy men.
Surely not?
But biting her bottom lip Coco noticed he’d bent his knee and pulled the blanket over his groin, his hand covered it too.
Poor Rafe.
She would need to be extra careful.
The male ego was a fragile thing.
He flinched as her fingers smoothed back his hair from his brow.
Easy sympathy for him rose in her chest.
She kept her voice soft, the tone friendly.
‘You shouldn’t worry about these things. It can happen to the best of men. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.’
His eyes flew open.
And he stared unblinking at the ceiling.
She smiled, affection for him making her voice gentle.
‘I believe it tends to be a confidence thing. Sometimes a man wants it too much.’
He blinked once and turned to look at her.
And she read confusion and something dark she couldn’t identify.
‘What.’ His voice was deceptively soft. ‘Are you talking about?’
Cocking her head to study that fabulous face, she gave into temptation and stroked her fingers gently through his hair.
This time he didn’t flinch and she took it as a promising sign to continue.
‘There’s nothing wrong with needing help. Many men use a little blue pill...’
In a flash, she was pinned on her back, her heart kicking in her throat.
Her eyes met his and she read outraged disbelief mixed with an insulted fury.
‘I just want to be certain I’ve got this right,’ he said through clenched teeth as his eyes raked over her face. ‘You think I’m impotent?’
Oh dear Coco thought with dismay she’d really touched a hot spot.
Her tongue licked her bottom lip and his eyes fixed on it.
‘Well, you did say you couldn’t do...’
That mouth plundered hers as his hands, rough now, shoved up her top, exploring her breasts.
His mouth pressed demanding hard kisses down her throat to her breasts. His tongue licked then suckled on a tight nipple and she moaned.
Oh God, it felt marvellous.
He gripped her hand and pressed it to his titanic erection.
An illicit thrill raced up her spine, he was rock hard, thick and big.
He lifted his head.
She stared into dark eyes wild with desire and arousal.
‘Trust me with you around a man doesn’t need Viagra.’
He gave her a hot searing kiss on her stunned mouth and rolled off.
Rafe sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands taking great gulps of air into his lungs.
Thoroughly confused, aroused and seriously ticked off, Coco pulled down her top and sat on the other side of the bed.
This was ridiculous!
She slid her feet into her boots and stood staring at his back.
Her fingernails dug into the palms of her hands, drawing blood, as her whole body shook with frustration.
‘What’s going on? You want me and I want you.’
She marched around to his side of the bed and stood before him.
Then folded her arms to protect throbbing nipples.
‘This is the second time you’ve done this to me.’
He looked up at her, eyes dark and blazing hot with a mix of fury and lust.
What in the world was wrong with him?
‘For Christ’s sake you were eighteen. Coco, I’m hanging on by a thread here. Don’t push me on this,’ he warned. His deep voice was almost a growl and it pressed the hot button of her temper.
Her eyes went wide. ‘Don’t push you on WHAT?’
He stood and took a deep breath.
‘If you remember, I was a guest of your father’s that night. And it was your birthday. How the hell could I betray his trust in me by fucking his precious daughter? And at the moment you’re too vulnerable, too upset, and I don’t want to take advantage of the situation.’
Stepping right into his personal space she whipped her head back to look up at him.
Her finger poked him in the chest with each furious word.
‘Trust me, I was not a child then and I am not one now.’
She whirled around and felt like kicking the wall.
How dare he make her decisions for her?
She spun back to him.
‘So when I was eighteen you decided out of chivalry and a misplaced sense of loyalty that I was too young? A pity that because you’d have had a very willing virgin. Who the hell do you think you are? Who made you the one to decide what I need or when I need it?’
‘Coco, I...’
He reached out a hand and flinched when she slapped it away.
A corner of her furious mind noticed his face was too pale and something inside her split wide open.
All the hurts, the confusion, poured out.
‘Do you seriously believe I’ve spent the last ten years sitting in a corner knitting? Pining for you?’
Eyes wide, she glared at him as he ran a frustrated hand over his hair, around his neck.
She lifted her chin.
‘I’ve had lovers.
Plenty.
’ Which was a barefaced lie, but it made him wince and made her feel a hell of a lot better. ‘And another thing, I will not tolerate you or my dear father deciding on what’s good for me or not. If either of you interfere in my life one more time I will make you both regret the day you were born.’
His face went even whiter if that was possible.
At the mention of her father, she took a shocked breath as what had happened earlier in the day burst her bubble of righteous fury.
How could she have forgotten?
She thrust the guilt away.
That situation had absolutely nothing to do with this one.
‘Do you, or do you not, want to make love with me? Yes or no.’
Rafe understood for the first time what the phrase being stuck between a rock and a hard place felt like.