Coco jerked a slim shoulder.
‘It wasn’t worth the hassle. Sometimes ignoring a pest is better. His modelling career took off for about two months. He was a mistake. I make quite a lot of them when it comes to men. Apart from one, they don’t last longer than a tube of toothpaste.’
Sharp now, those dark eyes studied her carefully.
‘Which one?’
She simply smiled and fluttered her eyelashes.
‘You don’t know him. It’s been over for a while. He’s kind, clever and very giving. And he couldn’t care less about Monroe Industries.’ Her fingertip swirled into the melted creamy peaks and she licked it. ‘He was, in many ways still is, the perfect man for me. Except for one small thing.’
Ahh, Rafe didn’t look so smug now. In fact he looked rather put out.
He took a sip of his drink and leaned back.
Those eyes, darkly brooding now, never left her face.
‘He has a problem of a personal nature?’
She laughed out loud.
‘Not at all. He respects me. He listened to me and was very good in bed. Apparently I gave him the best blow job he’s ever had.’
Colour drained from his face.
And it gave Coco a warm, fuzzy feeling that she was back in the driving seat.
Leaning over the table she gave him big eyes.
‘And he always made sure the lady comes first.’
Temper now burned in those eyes and she bit back a grin.
Jealous, Rafe?
‘What’s his fatal flaw?’ His deep voice was so low it sounded like a growl.
Coco took a deep breath.
It was now or never.
‘Actually it’s my fatal flaw not his.’
Leaning forward, his brows met.
Eyes dark with concern never left hers.
‘There’s something wrong with you?’
Rafe cared for her, she knew that by his behaviour tonight. Quite deliberately she’d pushed him, tested him and brutally aroused him. But she didn’t regret a single moment. Any other man would have taken what she’d been begging him for without a thought.
By putting her needs before his own, he’d exposed his deep feelings for her.
She read the truth right there in his dark gaze.
The time for games was over.
Hoping to hell she was doing the right thing Coco opened her heart.
‘I’m afraid so. It’s called the Rafael Cavendish disease. I believe there is no known cure.’
He blinked like an owl.
‘I don’t understand.’
‘That makes two of us,’ she muttered. ‘Every time I get to the point where I need to take the next step,
you
pop into my head.’
Chapter Thirty Two
Stunned dark eyes met hers.
He grinned. ‘I do?’
Annoyance stiffened her shoulders.
Coco scowled.
‘It’s not funny. How could I do such a thing to Robert?’
‘Robert?’
She could have cut out her tongue with a pair of kitchen shears.
Bugger.
‘Robert De’Montford Lacy.’
His low whistle made her take a deep breath.
Those dark eyes went serious.
‘He’s not the type of man to play second fiddle to anyone.’
Indeed he wasn’t.
The decision to simply remain friends and not lovers with Robert hadn’t been an easy one. He’d been angry and upset in the beginning, but when she’d explained her unresolved feelings for someone else, he’d accepted it with a good grace. And that, in her opinion, showed the character of the man. Two years later, they were still friends and Robert had gone on to find another. He was blissfully happy. Coco never deluded herself. There was no way she could commit to a man sexually when she dreamt of another. For one thing it wasn’t fair to the man concerned and for another she’d never be able to live with herself.
Her life was complicated enough without her adding self-delusion into the mix.
Coco’s drink had cooled so she took a careful sip to give herself time.
‘He isn’t. Why the hell should he? We’re good friends and nothing more. He’s found happiness. I couldn’t give him what he needed.’
Rafe placed his elbows on the table, his chin resting on his hand.
‘And what couldn’t you give him?’
How had the conversation been turned again?
Rubbing her hot neck, Coco told the truth.
‘I can’t give him a family. He wanted a wife, a child.’
Rafe’s hand reached out, his fingers found hers and held on.
Those eyes never left hers.
‘You can’t have children?’
She pulled her hand free, pressed her fingers to her eyes.
‘No, nothing like that. I choose not to marry. I choose not to have a family.’
He simply stared at her. ‘You’ve lost me.’
She didn’t want to look at him.
She shouldn’t look at him.
Making eye contact with those dark eyes made her stomach leap the way it always did around him.
Made her want things she couldn’t have.
She looked at him and couldn’t help but open her heart.
‘I can’t put a child through it.’
The stunned expression on his face had her rise and pace to the French windows.
She opened the doors, stepped out into the night and knew he’d follow her.
Her steps took her to a lounger overlooking the pool.
She sat desperately trying to find the right words to make her conflicted feelings about her childhood, her father, clear.
Rafe placed her mug in her hand and sat beside her.
He didn’t say a word, just waited.
‘My father loves me. I know he does. But it’s a love that comes with strict conditions. He withholds his permission for me to find my own way in life.’ She stopped when his hand found hers, it gave her strength to continue. ‘If, and it is an if, I ever have a child, l’ll give it freedom and unconditional trust, understanding and love.’
Rafe stood.
He tipped his head back gazing up into the sky.
Puzzled she stared up at him.
‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m looking for the Star ship Enterprise. They’ve beamed up the real Coco Monroe and left me with a complete stranger.’ He turned to look at her and what she saw in his eyes, understanding, compassion, made her throat go tight. He continued, ‘When did you become so wise?’
With a wobbly smile, she shook her head.
‘I’m not wise. It’s as if I need his permission for me to be me.’
He crouched in front of her, took her hands and stared at their joined fingers.
‘There are things your father needs to discuss with you. Things that may help you to understand his behaviour, his point of view.’
Pulling her hands from his, Coco covered her face with her hands.
She was so, so tired of it all.
‘I don’t know what you mean and I don’t know if I want to know.’
He stood and thrust his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
‘If you want my opinion, you both need to have a real heart to heart and it’s long overdue.’
Coco tipped up her chin to meet his eyes.
Since it seemed to be a night for nothing but the truth, she opened her heart.
‘If he doesn’t stop interfering in my life, seeing me as a possession rather than a person, we’ll end up estranged. If I carry on like this I’ll end up hating him.’
His hand found the back of her neck and his fingers squeezed gently.
‘How did we get from your virginity to your father?’
‘No idea. I bet Freud would have a field day.’
Leaning her head back against his hand, Coco rolled her shoulders to release the knots of tension.
‘My little virgin is tired, hot and bothered. Why don’t I take her to bed?’
Rafe grabbed her hand, pulling her to her feet.
He kept his hand in hers in a friendly way as they strolled into the house.
The headache behind her eyes had dulled into a tired throb.
He was right. She was hot and bothered.
A tingle of unease slid up her spine.
‘I’m not sure I’m up to being de-flowered at this precise moment.’
Pulling her into his arms, he pressed soft, intimate kisses along her jawbone and sparked the fire smouldering in the pit of her stomach.
With gentle thumbs smoothing her cheekbones, Rafe stared into her eyes.
‘We’re going to bed to sleep, not to make love.’
Relief warred with disappointed insecurity.
What was the matter with her?
The man couldn’t win.
‘Because I’m a virgin?’
And she could have kicked herself when her voice wobbled.
Very slowly he shook his head, gave her a don’t-mess-with-me look.
‘When we do this, and believe me we’re going to do this, it will be when the timing is right. You’re not feeling your best at the moment and putting it off for a few hours has nothing to do with you being a virgin.’ His eyes twinkled into hers. ‘You must be the oldest virgin in the land.’
Now she scowled. ‘It wasn’t planned. If you must know, it’s a curse. I can’t wait to get it over and done with and move on.’
‘I’m crushed. I cannot believe you just want me for my body. Will you respect me in the morning?’
In spite of herself she couldn’t help but laugh.
‘Will you cut it out?’
His thumb was constantly rubbing the back of her hand, doing wonderful things to her libido as they took the stairs and padded towards their bedrooms.
She certainly didn’t have the energy levels for swinging from a chandelier but she did have the energy for a bit of heavy petting.
Coco couldn’t help but wonder if they were ever going to get it together.
They stopped outside his bedroom.
Keeping her eyes on his wide chest she gave her hand a little tug.
‘Okay, you can let me go. I’ll see you in the morning.’
His soft laugh rumbled up her arm.
She looked at him.
Dark eyes danced into hers.
His lips twitched before settling into a deep, sexy smile.
Temper snapped her spine, made her take a deep annoyed breath as he opened the door and hauled her into his bedroom.
‘Not a chance, baby. You’re sleeping with me in my bed. So you can stop pouting.’
Delight warred with a contrary irritation that he could read her so well.
‘I’m not pouting.’
‘I’m the one looking at that face. Trust me, you’re pouting. And you’d better cut it out unless you want me to kiss you.’
‘Wait a minute.’ She slapped a hand to his wide chest ignoring the kick of her heart as her pulse began to do a nervy shimmy. This was ridiculous. Hadn’t she wondered for years what it would be like to sleep with him?
Yet she found herself almost scared, needing time to draw her defences together.
She would need them to survive the experience.
Grasping at any straw, she stared into his eyes.
‘What’s the matter with my bed?’
‘I’ve done all the waiting I’m prepared to do.’ He squeezed her hand, then cupped his other hand around the back of her neck. ‘And my bed is bigger. We need to see what’s really between us, doll face. Or what’s not.’
He lowered his head and caught her bottom lip gently between his teeth.
Her breath shivered with delight into his mouth.
Coco found herself lifted in his strong arms as his mouth took hers slowly, savouring and absorbing her. She tasted the heady sweetness of brandy and dark flavour of Rafe. Her lips parted in a soft moan. He slipped in his tongue to taste, to take.
But when she began to tremble he lifted his head and simply smiled as she took a deep shuddering breath.
He laid her under his duvet.
Coco blinked up at him with sleepy eyes.
She couldn’t remember the last time she felt so totally relaxed or so turned on.
Stripping off his T-shirt and jeans he slid into bed.
Woot!
Commando!
Then he turned off the bedside light and rolled onto his side taking her with him.
She should have been annoyed because yet again he was the one in control.
But Coco found she didn’t have the energy for it.
He settled her just where he wanted her with her back curled into his front.
The way she wiggled her bottom against his rock hard erection made him growl in her ear, ‘Do that again and your backside will be burning. You’re still not forgiven for not telling me you’re untouched. The only thing that’s saving your tight little ass from glowing under my hand is that fact you’re suffering from sunburn.’
Good job he couldn’t see her wide grin at the thought of him spanking her.
Rafe was all talk.
He’d never hurt her, not even in play.
A big strong hand stroked her thighs, her hips, before settling under her breasts.
Mmm, the way he touched her, held her, was so wonderful.
She gave a happy little sigh.
Her heartbeat thundering under his hand, Rafe nuzzled her hair as he inhaled the pure essence that was Coco.
Keeping his voice soft and low, he deliberately spoke in a slow monotone,
‘Did I ever tell you about my new car? No? Well, it’s a Ferrari FF and the spec is unbelievable. It has a 6.3-litre V12 engine. 0-60mph in 3.7 seconds. Seven-speed F1 dual-clutch with 4RM four-wheeled drive. I went for the optional extras of LEDs steering wheel, Quantum Logic surround sound along with High Emotions Low Emissions engine system with a stop-start, suspension...’
Her heart had slowed into a normal rhythm and he smiled into her hair.
She was out like a light.
That was his girl, some things never changed.
Coco might be a completely different woman these days, but she’d always found his fascination with fast cars as she said herself, ‘Jaw crackingly boring.’
Still grinning, he closed his eyes and sank like a stone into sleep.
*
Rafe awoke to find she’d moved out of his arms, again.
Coco he’d come to realise was a sprawler.
At the moment she lay flat on her stomach, arms spread above her head, face smashed into the pillow.
How could she breathe like that?
During the night he’d been aware of pulling her back into his arms at least three times, along with a faint feeling of irritation that she didn’t like to cuddle.