‘Anyway, Samson and Louise got me out. We took Rita, her name was Rita Lucas, to a café for breakfast. And after five hours of talking, the embryo of the
First Step
foundation was born.’
Silence.
Her eyes met his and she read respect along with another emotion she didn’t recognise.
‘What happened to Rita?’ he asked softly.
Coco beamed.
‘She’s the chief administrator for the foundation. She went to college, night school, got a degree and she’s studying for her MBA. When things get tough, when everything gets too much. I remember the girl in the cell with hair the colour of dirty straw.’
Of course she’d want to help.
Rafe felt twin surges of pride and a soul deep love for her.
But what underpinned those emotions was a sensation that felt something like terror.
What in the name of God did she think she was doing?
She was Coco Monroe, party animal, girl about town, and the face of Coco cosmetics.
She was
not
Coco Monroe, caped crusader or Wonder fucking Woman.
He wasn’t having it.
No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t keep the fear, the fury, out of his voice.
‘So you decided to be a one woman army for the abused and oppressed?’
He recognised her shock at his tone.
‘Why are you angry?’ she demanded.
She’d avoided answering the question and it seriously pissed him off.
‘Because I care for you, dammit. I don’t want you surrounded by battered women. Or by the son’s-of-bitches who batter them either.’
Her chin tilted in that stubborn way that pressed his hot button every single time.
‘You don’t get to make decisions for me about how I live my life, Raphael. You need to back off.
First Step
is my business and has nothing at all to do with
you
.’
Why was he arguing with her?
Why was he so tense?
The tension had been there since their intense love making session and got steadily worse as the day had progressed.
He was a man used to pressure.
In many ways he thrived on it, took it in his stride.
But not now.
He wanted Coco safe. He wanted...
And right there he realised he was not entitled to dictate or to have an opinion on how the woman he loved chose to live her life.
She wasn’t looking for commitment, marriage.
And she was right, he wanted all of those things, needed those things from her.
The truth hit him so hard he could hardly breathe.
Christ, he loved her so much.
‘You listen to me.’ He stalked over to her, pulled her into his arms. ‘I demand, actually, I fucking insist on more consideration from you. I love you. I loved you yesterday, last week, last month. I’ve probably loved you for fucking years. Stop pushing me away. It’s annoying and insulting. You might not want my love. That’s fine. It’s a free fucking country. But as long as I’m in your life we’re going to face things together and that includes
First Step
. So get used to it, doll face.’
‘Why can’t you let me live my life and do the work that brings me fulfilment, joy?’
‘I don’t have a problem with you doing any of that. But I need you safe. I can bring specialist protection techniques to the party. Technology that will help those women, those children. Don’t push my help away just because you have an issue with letting go.’
Stunned, she simply stared into this face and saw the truth.
Why hadn’t she thought of asking him for support?
First Step
wasn’t all about her. It was about vulnerable people who needed help.
But she couldn’t help the suspicion that he was again playing on her emotions.
It wouldn’t be enough for him to be involved in her work.
This was Rafael.
He’d want all of her or none of her.
‘Just because you had sex with me doesn’t mean I’m making a lifetime commitment to you,’ she yelled.
‘I think that was
we
had sex. And we had more than sex, baby. We made wild, passionate love.’
He’d said he was in love with her, so why was she so scared of him, of herself?
Because she always, always worked to a plan. She needed a goal, needed to see the path clearly ahead. No way was she going to give herself completely to a man, especially this man. Oh, her heart might be lost, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to listen to her head.
‘It won’t work between us.’
‘Yes, it will.’
He was railroading her into a decision, into an admission she didn’t want to make.
Sheer panic gripped her throat. ‘I don’t want to get married.’
‘So you’ve said. I agree.’
That stopped her cold.
‘What do you want?’
‘I want you in my life.’
Okay.
She could do that.
But only on her terms.
Her brow creased as she thought it through.
‘Would you consider living with me. See how it goes?’
She knew her tone was diffident, as if she didn’t believe a long-term relationship would work between them.
But was she willing to give it a try?
Yes, she was.
Coco knew there was nothing worse than living with regret.
Dark eyes never left hers.
‘Well, well, well,’ he drawled in a way that made her palm itch to slap him. ‘There’s an offer a man doesn’t receive every day. Can I think about it? It’s a big step for me.’
She didn’t know what she’d expected from him.
A happy dance for joy?
An,
‘I can’t wait’
perhaps?
But certainly not a,
‘Can I think about it?’
Battered pride had her chin lift even as a horrible feeling of vulnerability made her want to burst into tears.
And she’d rather die before she did that in front of Rafe.
‘Just forget it.’
Now he grinned in a way that made her eyes narrow into slits.
‘Oh no you don’t.’ He moved into her space.
The look for her in those dark eyes had her stomach do a steady, continuous flip, and a thousand butterflies took wing.
‘I...’
Without taking his eyes from hers, he took her in his arms.
The scent of a warm, strong male had her body responding, a hypnotic melting of her bones.
The look in his eyes, raw desire, possession, had liquid heat burning deep in her belly.
‘Are you certain I am what you want?’
His voice was deep and dark like treacle, a slow pouring of arousal into her veins.
At the moment she was certain of nothing.
She couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe.
‘Touch me, kiss me,’ she whispered.
Rafe’s mouth, so sensual, so perfect, arched into a smile.
He was so beautiful, so strong, yet caring, and gentle.
Her pulse thundered in her ears.
His lips whispered across hers, feather light, warm, and so wonderfully familiar.
Then his forehead touched hers.
‘Yes, I’ll move in with you. I’m not the easiest man in the world to live with, Coco. But I will never let you down.’
His lips took hers and hot licks of arousal pulsed deep in her belly.
Oh God, what was he doing to her?
The muscles low in her belly clenched too tight, a burning need teasing her breasts, her thighs. The ache was both sweet and terrible.
He pulled back.
Her gaze locked with his.
‘Ethan is sending the helicopter for us. It’s over, Coco.’
Was it?
She’d just asked Rafael Cavendish to move in with her, and he’d agreed.
What the hell had she done?
Chapter Forty
Waiting for Coco to finish packing, Rafe stretched out on a couch talking to Charles Monroe.
‘I won’t change my mind on this, Charles. She’s a bit shook up at the moment, but she’ll bounce back.’
Coco’s father’s booming voice in his ear made him grin. ‘This little escapade has taken ten years off my life. It’s time she settled down. I want a grandchild. And I don’t care what you have to do, son. You do it with my blessing.’
If Coco ever got wind that her father was happily scheming and playing matchmaker between them she’d go fucking mental.
‘Don’t count your chickens. I might have a foot in her door, but you know what she’s like. Stubborn. But don’t worry, she’ll marry me. And I plan to keep her so busy with babies she won’t have time to worry about
First Step
.’
Riveted to the spot, the sound of Rafe’s happy laugh echoed too loud in Coco’s disbelieving ears.
On bare feet she turned, padded back to her bedroom, sank to the bed.
To anchor her to a world gone mad, she placed her hand on top of the packed suitcase.
Choice, personal or otherwise was simply not on the agenda with her father.
And it appeared it wasn’t on the agenda with Rafe either. Her heart might tell her that she loved him. But her head screamed that Rafael Cavendish was again colluding with her father to take away her choice.
It didn’t matter if she’d fallen in love with him again.
It didn’t matter if he believed he loved her.
Because she simply could not trust him.
Pulling a thin sweater over her vest, she thrust her feet into soft leather pumps.
Her brain replayed the conversation she’d overhead again and again as her whole body trembled with fury.
Pulling the satellite phone out of her backpack she quickly raced down the stairs, out of the house to find a signal.
By the time she keyed in the correct number her hands were shaking and her heart was thundering in her ears.
Rafe had broken her heart for the last time and she was going home.
But she wouldn’t run from him, not this time.
This time she would finish whatever was between them once and for all.
Coco strode through to the sitting room and Rafe’s dark head came up.
For a crazy moment the big smile that broke on that wonderful face made her wish she’d never heard his conversation with her father, wished she hadn’t listened, hadn’t found out the truth.
Being able to live with herself was a key part of what made her who she was. And she’d be damned if she was going to live with a son-of-a-bitch who could not be trusted.
Her eyes met and held his.
‘I heard the words you used to describe our time together to my father,
‘But don’t worry, she’ll marry me. And I plan to keep her so busy with babies she won’t have time for First Step.
’
She took a heaving breath as Rafe went too pale and very slowly got to his feet. ‘What the hell is wrong with you? How dare you make a decision about what I’m doing with my life? Have you heard nothing I’ve said? You and my father live in a weird sort of parallel universe. Neither of you learn and you’ll never, ever change. Be honest for once. Did you tell my father that we’re lovers?’
He opened his mouth, closed it with a snap.
And gave a jerky nod.
She felt sick with what she needed to ask him next but her father was a tricky operator. She
knew
as far as he was concerned
Rafe would be perfect son-in-law material.
‘You had my father’s blessing to seduce me. Didn’t you?’
His cheeks burned but those dark eyes stayed on hers and she could see him battling with himself.
‘It wasn’t like that, Coco. Please...’
But she read the truth.
It was like that.
It was
exactly
like that.
He didn’t love her, not in the way she needed to be loved by him.
Rafe saw her as a possession, not as a real flesh and blood person.
He certainly didn’t respect her work or her dreams or her needs and desires.
How could she have been so blind?
How could she have been so stupid?
She gasped as something inside her broke.
The pain was almost more than she could bear.
Her voice was no more than a whisper,
‘I opened my heart to you. I opened my body to you. I trusted you.’ She cleared her throat, lifted her chin, and all the while her eyes held his.
Now he groaned, thrust his fingers through his hair.
‘You need to let me speak.’
Her heart was hammering so hard against her ribs she was amazed he couldn’t hear it.
‘Shut up! During my work with
First Step
I’ve come to recognise there are many types of abuse. Physical, psychological, domineering, controlling behaviour. It terrifies me to even consider that my father ticks some of the boxes under the heading of controlling. And that you tick a couple under controlling and dominant.’
He went so utterly still with wide-eyed shock she realised it might have been smarter to approach the subject without anger. But she’d opened Pandora’s box. It was too late to push the issue back inside. Far too late.
He simply stared at her. ‘I cannot believe you’ve just said that. Not only about me, we’ll deal with that in a minute, but about one of the best, the finest man I know.’
Silence.
Heart thundering in her ears, Coco felt ill even thinking it, but like were attracted to like.
‘You’re not his daughter. And what interests me is that you’ve immediately taken his side without listening or hearing me out.’
He shook his head. ‘You’re scaring me. How does he abuse you?’
Tears caught the back of her throat.
And she forced herself to open up the gaping wound deep inside her soul.
‘He subjugates me. Even humiliates me under the cover of humour. He puts me down. Makes me feel somehow less than. What does that sound like to you?’ But before he could respond she continued, ‘If you think about it from my point of view for once, you can’t deny the truth of what I’ve said.’
‘He loves you.’
‘Yes. But that love comes with conditions. And so does yours.’
He went bone white.
‘
Excuse me
?’
Heart beating so hard against her ribs, in her ears, Coco caught the outrage in his voice and the fury in his eyes, but she refused to back down.
‘You think about it. Think about the possessive behaviour.
You’re mine
, you said. Think about what you said to my father,
She’s stubborn. She’ll marry me, have my babies, forget about First Step.
’ Her breath sawed out and in from a too tight throat. ‘Well I can tell you right here and right now that’s never going to happen.’