Holy hell, did she need to buy all this crap for one itty bitty little baby? This was going to cost her a fortune, not to mention the fact she had no idea what any of it was or what she was supposed to do with it. Maybe Tucker Rawlings had a point. She wasn’t cut out to be a mother. The kid would get along better if she just left it with Grady and took off. Her stomach burned at the thought, and she pressed her hand to it, to her baby.
“B.J.,” Jo Ellen murmured as she picked up the swaddled infant. “This is Tanner. Tanner, meet your new Aunt B.J.”
At being referred to as an aunt, B.J. swung
around and paused, coming face to face with a bright-eyed little boy who was staring up at her from his mother’s arms. He looked so calm and serious until she made eye contact. Then he broke into a smile and waved both arms in excited baby-greeting.
Charmed by the little critter, B.J. grinned back and took a step toward mother and son. Unable to help herself, she reached out, and the boy
immediately did the same, latching his entire fist around her index finger.
Something hard and inherent moved inside her.
Good lord. She was supposed to raise one of these things? It was as exciting as it was scary.
“Grady said he had a lot of hair,” she murmured in awe. “But he didn’t mention the curls.”
Jo Ellen lifted her face, stunned. “Grady talked to you about Tanner?”
Shrugging briefly, B.J. glanced up. “He only mentioned the hair,” she said. When the other woman looked completely bowled over, she frowned, confused, and dropped the infant’s fingers. “Why?”
“I thought…” Jo Ellen shook her head and wiped a single tear from her eye. “I’m sorry. It’s...I’ve never seen him hold Tanner. He’ll barely even look at 150
The Trouble with Tomboys
him.”
Not sure what to say, B.J. fumbled for a moment before she offered, “Well, I’m sure it’s hard for him after...you know, after what happened.” Wondering if he’d be able to hold his own child once it was born, she sat her palm over her stomach and swallowed hard.
Jo Ellen must’ve sensed her worry. Forcing a smile, she thrust her son forward. “Do you want to hold him?”
B.J. immediately backed away. “What? Oh. No.
No, I don’t think... No thanks,” she said. “I don’t want to break him or anything.”
Jo Ellen’s smile faltered. “B.J.,” she said, her voice going stern with disapproval. “You
need
to get used to this before yours is born. You don’t want to be scared of holding your own child, do you?”
“Uh…” Was this a trick question? Of course she didn’t want to be scared of her own kid, but...damn, did she have to start practicing now? She had nine months to get it down.
“Here,” Jo Ellen said, taking matters into her own hands. “Sit in the rocker, and I’ll slip him into your arms.”
Wanting to refuse but not sure how, B.J. found herself shuffling reluctantly toward the rocking chair.
“Are you sure about this?” she asked.
Jo Ellen rolled her eyes. “Trust me. You’ll be fine. The main thing to worry about is supporting his head. Other than that, just don’t drop him, and you’re home free.
“Now,” she added once B.J. had eased into the chair, “cradle your arms like you’re holding an imaginary baby.”
B.J. did so, feeling like an absolute moron.
“Perfect,” Jo Ellen congratulated with a smile.
She leaned down to settle the child in B.J.’s arms 151
Linda Kage
and added, “Just make yourself comfortable, and he’ll be comfortable too.”
Yeah right, B.J. wanted to mutter. She felt
real
comfortable.
“You got his head supported?” she asked
anxiously as the sweet-smelling little body was laid in her grasp.
“Yes, he’s fine,” Jo Ellen whispered, letting go and taking a step back.
It took B.J. a good five seconds to look down.
When she finally lowered her face, Tanner Gerhardt looked back up at her with a pair of wide, curious eyes. Their gazes met, and he once again broke into a grin.
“Oh,” she whispered, falling completely in love.
“Oh, wow.”
Jo Ellen moved to stand beside them and lean over her shoulder to make eyes at her son as well. “I know,” she said. “It’s even more amazing when it’s your own.”
B.J. unconsciously started to rock slowly back and forth.
“I’m not sure why he woke up,” Jo Ellen
murmured. “But he could probably nap for another half hour if you want to put him back to sleep.”
“Okay. How do I do that?” B.J. asked, pumped and eager for her next baby lesson.
“Well, I have some sedatives, or we could just bonk him over the head with a hammer. Take your pick.”
B.J. whipped her head up in time to catch Jo Ellen rolling her eyes. “Just keep rocking him,” she said. “He’ll probably drop off in a few minutes.”
Glancing down at the baby, B.J. was surprised to see his lids flutter drowsily.
“See, there he goes,” Jo Ellen added. She set a hand on B.J.’s shoulder. “I’m going to take those cinnamon rolls off the pan and put them on a plate.
152
The Trouble with Tomboys
Call if you need anything.”
B.J. nodded but didn’t bother to look up. She barely even heard the quiet pad of Jo Ellen’s feet as she exited the room; she was too busy studying the features of the baby’s perfect little face.
Experimentally, she reached out and twined one of his blond curly locks around her finger. The fine hair had to be the softest she’d ever touched.
Still in a state of petrified shock, she felt herself grin. She’d visited Buck’s house a few times after his daughter had been born. But on all those occasions, his baby had done nothing but wail. It was startling to see they were sometimes quiet too. Hell, she might be able to put up with the crying if she had some of these precious, cuddly moments.
Suddenly it didn’t matter what the Rawlings
took away from her and did to her family—no way on earth could she give up her baby. She wanted a child, her own child, to look up at her with big, curious eyes just like Tanner Gerhardt was.
Sensing someone in the doorway, B.J. lifted her head. “I think he’s asleep,” she said. But it wasn’t Jo Ellen returning. Instead, it was Cooper, Jo Ellen’s husband. He leaned in the doorway, munching on a cinnamon roll, watching her coo at his son with a raised eyebrow.
“Hey, Coop,” she whispered as she sent him a smile in greeting. “I hope you don’t mind. I’m going to practice on your kid until mine comes along.”
Cooper slipped into the room and neared the
rocking chair to look down at his sleeping son. “Just don’t break him,” he said quietly, obviously having already talked to Jo Ellen.
B.J. flipped him off but quickly lowered her hand and glanced down to make sure the baby was still sleeping and hadn’t seen the gesture. Cooper chuckled softly and crouched to his haunches so he could lay a soft kiss on his son’s hair. B.J. watched 153
Linda Kage
Cooper lovingly nuzzle his nose against the infant’s cheek.
“Remember when we fooled around once?” she
said, suddenly recalling a long-ago event she hadn’t even thought of in years.
Cooper choked on the cinnamon roll in his
mouth and tripped in his haste to stand upright.
“Jesus, B.J.!” he yelped, jerking a few steps away. “What the hell?”
“Shh,” she hissed. “Don’t wake the baby.”
“Well, what in God’s name are you doing
mentioning that?” he hissed back. “It happened a
long
time ago. And my wife is in the other room, for God’s sake.”
She nodded. “I know. I just wanted to say I’m glad we didn’t do anything more…you know. That’s all.” Coop nodded as well and stared at her like she’d lost her mind. “Okay,” he answered. “I’m glad too.”
B.J. smiled. “I really like Jo Ellen. And I’d hate to feel awkward around her for some mistake
we’d
made twenty centuries ago.”
Coop couldn’t respond this time. He just nodded, unable to make eye contact.
“She’s the one, isn’t she?” she pressed.
“What?” he asked, looking confused and then
glancing anxiously toward the door.
“The woman you were all depressed about that night. It was Jo Ellen, wasn’t it?”
“Oh. Ah...yeah. It was her.”
“Well, I’m glad everything worked out for you two,” B.J. said. “You got a sweet wife and a really good kid here.”
“Thanks,” Coop replied, “…I think. Just don’t go mentioning that night again, okay?”
B.J. winked, and Coop suddenly seemed like he was in a hurry to leave.
But when he reached the doorway, he stopped
154
The Trouble with Tomboys
and glanced back. Cocking his head to the side, he studied her thoughtfully.
“What?” she demanded. “Am I doing something
wrong?” She looked down at the baby in worry.
Cooper smiled as he shook his head. “No.
Tanner’s fine. I just realized... You’re actually a soft touch, aren’t you?”
She frowned. “Excuse me?”
“That night,” Cooper said. “You were only trying to cheer me up. You came over to me in the bar because you said I looked sad.”
“So?” B.J. answered.
“Well...that makes me think the same thing
happened with Ralphie Smardo. I can see you saying yes to him just to boost his ego.”
“Oh, God,” she moaned, closing her eyes. “Does everybody know about
that
?”
He nodded solemnly. “About the skinny dipping?
I’m afraid so. Your little diner scene is quickly becoming legendary.”
B.J. rolled her eyes. “I never should’ve let that little slime ball touch me.”
Cooper shrugged. “But you did,” he murmured,
“because you felt bad for him.”
She scowled. “He kept whining about never
getting a woman. I just wanted to shut him up.”
“Uh huh,” Cooper said, knowingly. “So you gave him some sympathy sex. Just like you did Grady.”
B.J. stopped and opened her mouth as she
frowned at Cooper. But no words came out.
Cooper chuckled. “Don’t you dare tell me you don’t feel bad for him. Hell, everyone in the county feels sorry for Jo Ellen’s brother. He’s been through hell; you only have to look at his face to see that.”
“You are so wrong, Gerhardt,” she insisted. “I don’t do sympathy sex.”
Cooper’s return look said otherwise, but he
murmured, “If you say so.”
155
Linda Kage
“Sympathy sex?”
B.J.’s mouth fell open. She hadn’t been home from Jo Ellen’s but an hour before Grady came knocking. She’d had time to shower and shave her legs and feel refreshed for an evening of lazing around the house and eating a frozen dinner. But Mr. Rawlings had other ideas.
As soon as she opened the door to him, those two dreaded, accusing words came out. They didn’t exactly register in her brain though. She was too busy staring at him and thinking how absolutely beautiful he was. His father’s visit and sister’s phone call immediately forgotten, all she saw was a man who made her heart pound hard and her breathing turn choppy.
“You’re into sympathy sex?” he repeated.
Groaning out a curse, B.J. gritted her teeth. “I’m going to kill Cooper for opening his pie hole.” Then, frowning as Grady pushed past her to enter the living room, she muttered, “Sure. Come on in.”
“Why Cooper?” he asked, turning to send her a questioning look. “Cooper’s not the one who told me.
Jo Ellen is.”
B.J. gasped. “Oh, my God! Jo Ellen heard us
talking?” She lifted her hand to her suddenly aching temple. Damn. There went the only female friend she’d ever had. And she’d been anxious to ask Jo Ellen more pregnancy questions.
Wincing, she asked, “Is she totally pissed at me?” He frowned in confusion. “Why would
she
be 156
The Trouble with Tomboys
pissed?”
“Because of what Cooper and I did—” she
started to blurt out before she realized Grady obviously hadn’t heard the whole story. “Wait a second,” she said, setting her hands on her hips.
“What exactly did she say to you?”
“She said you only slept with men you felt sorry for. Cooper was
not
mentioned in that list.” But from the way he closed his eyes and shook his head sadly, he’d already added Gerhardt to the register. “Please, God,” he muttered. “Don’t tell me you slept with my brother-in-law.”
“No!” she said. “Definitely not.” When he gave her a probing stare, she shifted uncomfortably, crossed her arms over her chest and scowled.
“Besides, he wasn’t your brother-in-law at the time.”
“Oh, my God. You slept with Cooper?”
“No,” she yelled back. “He stopped before it went too far.”
Grady paused. “
He
stopped?” When she gave a miserable nod, he pierced her with a look and set his hands on his hips. “And just how far did you two go before
he
stopped?”
B.J. let out a dramatically long sigh and tried to stop blushing. “Not that it’s any of your business because it happened way back when you were still married to Amy, but we barely got our shirts off,”
she admitted on a mumble.
Grady didn’t look happy about thinking of her with a shirtless Cooper. “That’s it?”
She nodded. “This was right before he and Jo Ellen hooked up. And he was all bummed out
because he thought he was never going to see her again. So, he couldn’t go through with it...with me.”
“Ah. So, it was sympathy sex with him too,
huh?”
She glared. “I do not do sympathy sex! I mean, come on. Have you ever seen Cooper Gerhardt
157
Linda Kage
shirtless? Pity was the last thing on my mind, I assure you.”
“Uh huh,” he said, not believing her. “And I’m sure Junkyard Smardo is simply irresistible with his shirt off, isn’t he?”
B.J. couldn’t help it. She winced. Ick. Ralphie had just been plain scary without his clothes on. She had to be thankful it’d been fairly dark, or his pasty white skin and beer belly would’ve chased her away long before they’d started.
Clamping her mouth shut, she refused to
incriminate herself any further.