Tierney, who’d been giving Cara a hug, helped herself to a slice of cucumber as she left. ‘Sorry, may I?’ she asked, looking at her phone as she turned back again.
‘May you what?’ Lainey asked.
‘Have a piece of cucumber?’
Lainey blinked in astonishment. ‘Well, you’ve already eaten it now, but I hardly think you needed to ask.’
‘I just don’t want to seem impolite, or to take anything for granted,’ Tierney explained, looking up from her texts.
Since she wasn’t quite sure what to say to that, Lainey simply smiled.
‘We’re very lucky to have food whenever we want it,’ Tierney reminded her, ‘even if it is just a slice of cucumber. So many people in the world don’t have anything, and I think it’s wrong for people like us simply to stuff our faces and forget all about them.’
With a quick glance at a bewildered Cara, Lainey said, ‘I don’t think a slice of cucumber can qualify as stuffing your face, but your sentiments are admirable, my darling.’
Seeming pleased with that, Tierney spun round and went off in search of her brother.
‘Don’t ask,’ Lainey muttered, as Cara seemed to flounder for words. ‘Let’s just get the rest of dinner under way and do our best to pretend we’re a normal family.’
Upstairs in her room, Tierney’s whole attention was fixed on her laptop. He was there, online, taking time out to Instant Message her and ask if she was happy.
Just wait till she told Skye.
Her fingers almost shook as she typed in her answer.
I am now.
That’s good.
Are you?
Of course. I’m in contact with you.
She desperately wanted to see him, but didn’t have the courage to say so. He’d said the last time, though, that they would definitely get together again.
He was typing. You understand why I can’t see you this weekend?
Her insides churned with longing. Yes, but I wish you could.
I know. I wish I could too. You have become very special to me.
She felt suddenly breathless, hot, desperate to see him if only on Skype, but there was no time now.
You’re special to me too, she typed, and felt her insides flutter with the electric frissons of daring.
It’s not long until your birthday.
Tomorrow week.
Will we be able to spend it together?
I’m working on it. I’ve told them I’m going to be at my friend’s in London. She’s OK with that, she’ll definitely cover for me.
That’s good. I’ll make sure you have a really special time.
Thinking of the one kiss they’d shared she almost sobbed with dread and excitement.
Did you ask your parents for a Kindle? he wanted to know.
Yes.
Good. It’ll give me a real kick to think of us reading the same books at the same time.
We could do that now.
Indeed we could, but I’d like to buy the books for you and send them to your reader. They’ll be a gift from me to you.
Thank you.
Where are you at the moment?
In my bedroom. Where are you?
In a terrible dilemma over you. I can’t stop thinking about you.
Thrilled and tormented by the words, she knew without any doubt that she was in love.
It’s the same for me, she told him.
‘Sweetheart, are you in there?’ her father called out, knocking on the door.
Tierney slammed down the lid of her laptop. ‘Coming,’ she called back, her heart practically leaping from her chest. Running to the door she threw it wide and all but bounced into her father’s arms. ‘What are you doing up on our floor?’ she cried, teasingly. ‘You never come up here.’
‘I’ve been calling you, but you seem not to have heard,’ he replied as she linked his arm to walk him along the landing to the stairs.
‘Sorry, I got carried away with Skye. She’s got all this stuff going on, so I had to talk to her. Do you know where Max is tonight?’
‘Gone to some concert, apparently. Why?’
‘Just wondered. Or Skye did. She’s pretty hot for him, but don’t tell him I told you. Oh God, I was supposed to find Zav. Has he gone down now?’
‘Yes, he has. We’re just waiting for you.’
Placing her hands on his shoulders as he descended the narrow staircase ahead of her, she said, ‘So how are you? Did you have a good week in London? We missed you, you know. I hope you missed us too.’
‘Of course I did,’ he assured her.
‘Were you filming, or just casting and things?’
‘A bit of both. But tell me about your week. How are the exams going?’
‘Yeah, cool. Think I’m doing pretty OK.’
Glancing at his mobile as it beeped with a text, he carried on down the main stairs into the hall before saying, ‘Tell Mum I’ll be right there, will you?’ and disappearing into his study he closed the door behind him.
As he read the message his facial muscles tightened.
I sent your wife a text telling her to ask you about Julia. Just thought you should know.
Quickly connecting to the number, he said, ‘Why did you do that? What purpose do you think it’s going to serve?’
‘You know my purpose . . .’
‘And you agreed to let me do it in my time.’
‘That’s the point, Tom, we don’t have the luxury of time.’
His eyes darkened. ‘The conditions you’ve imposed . . . You’re making it damned near impossible . . .’
‘Please don’t be angry with me. I didn’t want it to happen this way,’ and before he could say any more the line went dead.
LAINEY WAS IN
front of the bathroom mirror, cleaning her teeth, when she heard Tom, in the bedroom, stretching luxuriously as he came awake.
Going to the door she stood watching him, early morning sunrays slanting a fence of light between them, lending the spacious room a soft, almost dreamlike feel. As his eyes came to hers she felt a pleasing warmth stirring to life. He’d been fast asleep by the time she’d come up to bed last night, one arm thrown behind his head, the sheet barely covering his hips.
It was how he was now, and as she went to him she could see he was as ready as she was to make his homecoming complete.
It was quite some time before she returned to the bathroom, still slightly dazed by the pleasure of their shared release, while he reached for his phone to check on any messages that had come in overnight.
‘Are you OK?’ he asked, when she stepped out of the shower.
‘What do you think?’ she asked, taking the towel he was offering. ‘Don’t I look it?’
He smiled teasingly and turned to the basins. ‘You were frowning,’ he told her reflection in the mirror.
‘Really?’ She was surprised. ‘I guess I was just thinking.’
Since he didn’t ask what about, she continued to dry herself as he started to shave.
Everything was so normal on the surface, so relaxed and as it usually was on a Saturday morning, yet somewhere behind this veil of benign preoccupation she couldn’t help getting the sense of something being awry. Perhaps it wasn’t him. In fact, it was probably her, since she was absorbed by the upcoming trip to Italy, which she’d yet to tell him she’d confirmed, and by what her mother might have been hiding all these years. She was even asking herself again, as she had through Alessandra’s illness, if keeping secrets for so long had been responsible, at least in part, for bringing on the cancer.
How terrified her mother had been when she’d realised the seriousness of her condition. Lainey had been too, though she’d done her best not to show it. Perversely, it had also been a time of joy for her, since Alessandra had turned to
her
in her hour of need. It was the first time she’d ever felt truly special to her mother, and though they hadn’t exactly grown close during the turbulent years that had followed – or not close enough for Alessandra to answer all the questions Lainey desperately wanted to ask – it had soon become clear that it was only Lainey who could fulfil her mother’s needs. Not that Alessandra ever admitted to that, she had far too much pride to allow anyone to think she couldn’t manage alone. However, as time had gone on and the deadly disease in her womb had spread to other parts of her, she’d become fretful, almost panicked if Lainey was too long away from her side. Whether she ever worried about how difficult it was for Lainey to watch her suffering Lainey had no idea, but what she did know was that there were times when she actually seemed to feel her mother’s pain. It hadn’t only been physical, though heaven knew that had been hard, she’d also felt the anguish and fear that had gripped Alessandra as her inner demons rose up to torment her.
‘It’s not your fault,’ she’d told Lainey one day in a voice that had barely rasped from the clouded depths of her. ‘It was never your fault.’
Lainey had soothed the crinkled skin of her cheeks. ‘What wasn’t?’ she asked gently.
Alessandra’s eyes were haunted, distant, dulled by pain. ‘What happened . . . What they did . . .’ she whispered. ‘I’m sorry, Elenora. Can you forgive me? Please say you forgive me.’
Realising the words were opening small gateways into her past, Lainey held her mother’s hand tightly as she said, ‘Of course I forgive you, but I wish you’d tell me . . .’
‘No, don’t ask. The shame is not for you to bear. Forget them, Elenora. They are nothing to us now. Just take care of Daddy. Promise me, you’ll take care of him.’
‘You know I will.’
Alessandra’s smile had been more of a grimace. ‘I need to sleep now,’ she whispered. ‘S
tai con me mentre dormo
.’ Later Lainey had learned that this meant, stay with me while I sleep.
Her mother had spoken Italian often during her final days, but because she’d always refused to allow Lainey to learn the language Lainey had been unable to understand anything more than the cries of ‘
Nonnina, Nonnina.’
It was hearing her calling for her grandmother at the end that had wrenched the hardest at Lainey’s heart. Who was Alessandra’s grandmother? What had happened to tear them apart? Why had no one from Italy ever come to find their daughter, sister, niece, wife?
Tom’s voice broke into her thoughts. ‘You’re still frowning,’ he told her, tapping his razor on the side of the bowl.
Lainey’s expression lightened. ‘Just going through things for this evening,’ she hastily improvised. It wasn’t that he minded talking about her mother, it was simply that she really did need to start focusing on the day ahead. ‘I’m trying to remember who’s supposed to be arriving when, who’s staying the night, which stall to get the flowers from when I go to the market. You can’t imagine how stressful it is being me.’
With a droll raise of an eyebrow, he said, ‘As long as that’s all it is.’ He scraped the blade across his jaw. ‘If there was anything else, you’d tell me, wouldn’t you?’ he pressed.
Surprised, she said, ‘Of course I would. And I hope the same goes for you. Actually, that reminds me, have you had some kind of falling out with Grant? It looked pretty intense between you in the garden last night, and he didn’t seem his usual chatty self over dinner. So has something happened I should know about?’
Swilling his razor, he said, ‘He’s trying to get me involved in one of his crazy investment schemes, and I’m not biting.’
Since this wasn’t an unusual occurrence between the brothers, she let the subject drop and might have forgotten all about it had she not found Grant and Cara ready to leave when she went downstairs.
‘What are you doing? What’s happening?’ she demanded, spotting their bags next to the kitchen door. ‘You’re surely not rushing off already? You haven’t even had breakfast.’
‘Cara’s gran’s had a fall,’ Grant explained, coming to hug her. ‘Nothing serious. We just thought we ought to get ourselves over there pronto.’
‘Of course,’ Lainey agreed. ‘Gosh, I hope she’s all right.’
‘I’m sure she’ll be fine,’ Cara said, checking her phone. ‘Lucky we’re close by.’
Wondering if Cara was deliberately avoiding her eyes, Lainey tried to think what to say. Something wasn’t feeling right about this, but how to put it into words without sounding offensive? ‘Aren’t you going to wait and say goodbye to Tom?’ she asked, as Grant picked up the bags and started out to the car.
‘I’ll call him,’ Grant replied, not looking back.
Cara held out her arms. ‘I’m really sorry to miss the farmers’ market,’ she said, hugging her. ‘I was looking forward to it.’
‘There’ll be other times,’ Lainey assured her.
Cara smiled. ‘Of course.’ Now she was meeting Lainey’s eyes in a way that felt oddly disturbing. ‘Call me if you need anything, won’t you?’ she said kindly.
Puzzled, Lainey said, ‘Likewise. And don’t forget to let me know how your gran is.’
‘Cara, are you coming?’ Grant called out.
‘Better go,’ she said to Lainey, and with another quick squeeze she hurried off to the car.
Minutes after they’d driven away Tom came into the kitchen wearing a tracksuit and trainers, ready to go to football with Zav. ‘Did I hear someone arriving?’ he asked, taking a pitcher of orange juice from the fridge.
‘Actually, it was Grant and Cara leaving,’ Lainey told him. ‘Apparently her grandmother’s had a fall.’
Tom’s hand paused in mid-air, but he said nothing, simply continued to pour.
‘What’s going on?’ Lainey asked. ‘Something’s . . .’
‘Just leave it,’ he murmured. ‘He’ll get over it. Now where’s Zav? Is he up yet?’
Since she didn’t want to get into an argument when Zav and Tierney were likely to descend at any minute, she simply said, ‘I haven’t seen him, but . . .’
‘I’ll go and get him.’
He was only as far as the door before Zav came skidding along the hall straight into him. ‘Hey Dad. Great, you’re up. Are we having pancakes for breakfast? You said last night we could.’
‘Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten,’ Tom promised, ruffling his son’s already ruffled hair. ‘Going to give me a hand?’
‘Sure am. Mum, have we got any eggs, or shall I ride my bike down to the farm shop and get some?’
‘There are plenty in the basket,’ Lainey told him, putting a pan next to the Aga. ‘If you’re going to toss them try not to let them land on your head, OK?’
Zav shouted with laughter. ‘That’s what I did last time,’ he cried delightedly, as if his parents didn’t already know. ‘I’m rubbish at catching them, but Tierney’s worse. How many shall we make, Dad?’