Chapter 1
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
âIsaiah 1:18
“I
f you're here today,” forty-eight-year-old Pastor George Landris began, “and you feel there's something missing in your life. If you admit that although there are billions of people on this earth, you still feel like you're all by yourselfâthat sometimes it feels like it's you, and you alone. If you feel as though no one truly loves you. If you're
fed up
with being fed up.” He paused a second. “If you'd like to be born again . . . you want to know
Jesus
in the free pardon of your sins. Then I want you to know that your being here today is neither an accident nor a coincidence. I want you to know that it's time for a change! You see, I've been told that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but somehow expecting a different result.” He shook his head slowly, then took one step to the side.
“Well, to that someone who's here today, your change has come. If you're looking for change, change you can
truly
believe in, then the Lord is extending His hand to you today through me. He's asking you, on
this
day, to accept His hand. I know I'm talking to somebody today. In your life, it's time for a change.” Pastor Landris nodded as he narrowed his eyes, then ticked his head three times to one side as he smiled.
“Oh, I know we heard the word
change
a lot last year. We
talked
about change. Some of you even voted for change. Some of you voted for the first time in your life
because
of change. Well, on November 4, 2008, change took a step forward in these United States of America . . . a change that's
already
had an impact on the world. But on
this
day”âhe pointed his index finger down toward the floorâ“on this Sunday, January 4,
2009,
sixteen days before that embodiment of change is to be sworn in as the forty-fourth president of the United States, it's time for your own personal change. A change, a wonderful change.”
Many in the audience began to clap while others stood, clapped, and shouted various things like: “Change!” “A wonderful change!” and “Thank God for change!”
Pastor Landris bobbed his head, then continued to speak. “For those of you here who are tired of fighting this battle alone, let me assure you that there
is
another way. And in case you don't know or haven't heard,
Jesus
is the way! He's the truth, and He's the light.
“And todayâjust as Jesus has been doing since before He left earth boarded on a cloud on His way back to Heaven, where He presently sits on the right hand of the FatherâHe's calling for those who have yet to answer His call, to come. Come unto Him all you that labor and are heavy laden. Jesus desires to be Lord of your life. Won't you come today? Won't you come? Come and cast your cares on the Lord, for He cares for you. Oh, yes, He cares . . . He cares. He cares. He . . . cares.”
Pastor Landris extended his hand. He looked like someone waiting on a dance partner to take hold of his outstretched hand in order to continue the next step of a well-choreographed dancing routine.
Twenty-six-year-old Gabrielle Mercedes heard his words. She felt them as they pierced her heart. She doubled over as she sat in her seat. Quickly, she felt the warmth wash completely over her, starting at her head. It felt as though she was being covered with pure love and peace, as though buckets of warmth were being poured on her, the warmth quickly making its way down to her feet. Her feet heard the music inside of the words “Come and cast your cares on the Lord, for He cares,” and they began to move, to tap rapidly, all on their own.
The music that played inside her was not the usual music one might expect to hear in church. It was music that no words she knew could aptly describeâangelic. Her body instinctively knew what to do; her legs summarily stood her upright. She hurriedly, but gracefully, started acrossâoneâtwo, oneâtwo, side step, side stepâfrom where she'd been sitting, quietly excusing herself past those who shared the row with her. Then, forward she glided, with long deliberate strides down a wide center aisleâflow, extend, now glide, glide, faster, fasterâtoward the front of the church building's sanctuary. Everything happening before the right side of her brain was even able to effectively launch a logical and methodical discussion about any of this with the left side of her brain. She was moving forward, refusing to look back.
And when she shook the hand that continued to remain extended for any and all who dared to reach toward it, she didn't see the man of God's, Pastor Landris's, hand. All she saw was the Son of the living God called Jesus, Emmanuel, the Prince of Peace, the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the President of presidents. She began to leapâhigher, higher.
And as she'd shaken Pastor Landris's hand, at least twenty other people also had come forward and stood alongside her. But she'd only felt the hand of God holding her up as she stood there and openly confessed she was indeed a sinner. She knewâwithout any trumpets sounding, any special effects, and any special feelingsâthat in that moment of her confession, she was saved. Saved by grace. Now.
Now faith is . . . now . . . faith is now . . .
And the feeling she did have? It was the Lord leading the dance of her life, whispering throughout her every being that she now only needed to follow His lead. She needed to allow Him to take her to the next step, and then the next one, and the next one, without knowing what the next step might be. Fully trusting His lead.
Oneâtwoâthree.
Oh, how Gabrielle loved to dance! But until this day, she'd never known the true grace in dancing. That amazing grace. God's amazing grace. The feelings she had now were a by-product of the new knowledge she possessed: the knowledge of knowing Jesus Christ in the free pardon of her sins. All of her sins, every single one of them, Pastor Landris was saying, were officially pardoned. She was free!
“Pardonedâyour slate, wiped cleaned,” Pastor Landris said to those who came up. “Your sins, totally purged from your record. It's as though they never happened. God says your past transgressions have been removed as far as the east is from the west, the north from the south. All of your sinsâthe ones folks know about, and yes, the ones only God knows. Gone. Gone! Whatever sins were in your past, from this day forward, as far as the Lord is concerned, they're gone.” Those standing were being signaled by a ministry leader to follow her to an awaiting conference room.
“Hold up a second,” Pastor Landris said, halting them before they exited. “I want you to say this with me: My
past
has been
cast
into God's sea of forgetfulness.”
They did as he askedâsome of them leaping for joy as they shouted the words.
“You are forgiven of your sins,” he said. “Look at me.” He waited a second. “And God is saying to you, don't allow anyone . . .
anyone,
to ever bring up your past sins to you again. Did you hear what I said? Don't let
anyone
use your past against you. If they bring it up, you tell them that it's under the blood of Jesus now.”
The entire congregation erupted with shouts of praise as they stood to their feet.
Chapter 2
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
âJeremiah 29:11
“D
o you have a Bible?” one of the ladies asked Gabrielle as they stood in the conference room where the new converts were taken after they left the main sanctuary.
“No, I don't. But I can buy one,” Gabrielle said.
“Oh, we have one for youâa gift from the church.” The petite woman smiled as she handed Gabrielle a six-by-nine-inch maroon Bible. “I'm Tiffany Connors. I'm part of the ministry that welcomes converts who come to Christ through Followers of Jesus Faith Worship Center. Our goal is to ensure that you have as many tools as possible at your disposal to get you started in learning all you can about the Lord. Pastor Landris insists there's nothing worse than having something new and either
not
receiving or
not
reading the manual that comes with itâoblivious to its features, benefits, and the instructions to operate it. And of course, any good manual contains troubleshooting information to help in understanding when something is not working properly, and what is needed to correct it. We believe there's no better manual for Christiansânovices and veterans alikeâthan the Bible.” Tiffany tapped Gabrielle's Bible twice, then held out her hand for a handshake.
Gabrielle glanced at the Bible she'd been given. She smiled at Tiffany as they shook hands. “I'm Gabrielle Mercedes, and it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
Tiffany tilted her head in a quizzical way. “Is Mercedes your married name?”
Gabrielle smiled. She wasn't offended or felt Tiffany was moving too quickly into her business. She knew exactly what was going through Tiffany Connors's head. It was what she encountered a lot since she'd legally dropped her last name of Booker and adopted her middle name as her last. Most people could tell by looking at her smooth brown skin; hair that was, without fail or excuses, relaxed every four to six weeks to keep it from going back to its natural state of afroishness; and a signature behind that defined many a black woman as a black woman (there always being an exception to any rule, as folks like J.Lo have proven) that she was not Hispanic, as her last name might somehow suggest.
The next logical thought was that she, being a black woman, must have married someone with the last name of Mercedes to have acquired it. She could have easily explained how she ended up with it, but didn't bother to. That would defeat the whole purpose of her having changed it in the first place.
“No, I'm not married, and I've never been married,” Gabrielle said. She just happened to look down and realized she was hugging her Bible. She let her arm down by her side, along with the Bible she held in her hand.
“Gabrielle Mercedes. Well, it certainly is a beautiful name,” Tiffany said. She glanced at her watch and grimaced. “Listen, I hope you don't mind my having to leave so quicklyâkind of drop the Bible and runâbut I have to go pick up my children from children's church so the workers there can leave.”
Gabrielle smiled as she tilted her head only slightly. “Forgive me, but did you say children's church?”
“Yes. We have a church for the children. They call it children's church even though it's still part of this same congregation. There's also a teen church with activities geared specifically for the teenagers and their style of praise and worship. Today was my day to work in this ministry. And since Darius, that's my husband, didn't make it to church today, I'm the only one available to pick up my little ones by the cutoff time.”
“How many children do you have?”
Tiffany appreciated that Gabrielle asked. She loved talking about her children. “I have three. My oldest daughter is Jade. She'll be eight this year. Dana, our middle daughter, turns six in a few months. And our son, Darius Junior, we call him Little D., just turned two this past November. He's in the toddler's section of children's church.”
Gabrielle nodded. “That's nice of the church to have a children's church and a teen church within the main church. I only went to church a few times when I was growing up, although I went all the time when I was a baby up until I was about three. My mother used to take me every Sunday. . . .” Reflecting on her mother when she was too young (her aunt and others had constantly countered) to remember anything that had to do with her or anything else that may or may not have happened during that time caused her to discontinue, at least aloud, this train of thought.
Gabrielle smiled, pretending it was perfectly normal to switch topics and entire conversations in midsentence. “Suffice it to say, there was nothing separate for children or the teens to do in the churches I attended growing up. And the preacher where we
did
go those times mostly put folks to sleep. I mean, they would be sleeping good, too. Until he reached the end of his sermon and started whooping and holleringâstartling babies, men, and old folks alike right out of their naps.” She laughed. “I'm sorry. Here I am going on, holding you up when you clearly said you needed to go. Please, go on and pick up your children. And thanks for the Bible.” She patted the Bible's cover. “It's beautiful.”
Fatima Adams walked over to Gabrielle and Tiffany just as Tiffany was about to leave. “Well, hello. It's Tiffany Connors, right?”
Tiffany nodded. “And you're Fatima . . . ?” She frowned as though that would help her recall Fatima's last name.
“Yes, Adams. Fatima Adams,” Fatima said as she politely shook Tiffany's hand.
“Well, Fatima, I must say that you have
impeccable
timing. I'm hurrying to get my children from children's church. Now I don't feel so bad leaving like this. Great meeting you”âshe said to Gabrielleâ“and great seeing you again,” she said to Fatima.
Fatima turned to Gabrielle. “Well, hello there. My name is Fatima Adams, as I'm sure you just heard.” She smiled and held out her hand to shake Gabrielle's, then suddenly leaned in and hugged her instead. “I just wanted to come over, introduce myself, and welcome you to the body of Christ, as well as to Followers of Jesus Faith Worship Center. We're so excited you've chosen to accept Jesus into your life. And believe me when I say that your decision is an eternal, life-changing, and life-saving one.”
Gabrielle felt Fatima's hug had been sincere. Still, she quickly pulled away, and even took a step back. “Thank you. I'm Gabrielle Mercedes. And before you ask, I'm not married, so it's not my married name.” She laughed a little. In truth, the hug had taken her a little off her stride. Gabrielle wasn't accustomed to being hugged. She hadn't been hugged much since her days with Miss Crowe, a teacher who had been a rock in her life. In fact, as she thought about it, the last time she'd actually allowed anyone to hug her, to really hug her, was the last time she'd seen Miss Croweâsome nine years ago. Right before that horrible accident that ended up dramatically changing both of their lives. Any other hugs didn't mean anything to her; they were merely perfunctory.
Miss Crowe was the only person who had really cared about her. She'd cared about Gabrielle's dreams and aspirations. Cared that Gabrielle was treated fairly and with respect. In a nutshell, Miss Esther Crowe had cared about what Gabrielle cared about. So, whenever Miss Crowe hugged her, she knew that Miss Crowe wasn't hugging her for what she could get out of her. She was hugging her because she knew Gabrielle needed it. After Miss Crowe was no longer in her life, she didn't want or care for anyone to hug her.
But she had to admit, there was something different about Fatima's hugâa hug that quite honestly she hadn't seen coming before it happened. A hug that felt rather sisterly, just one more thing she wasn't all that familiar or comfortable with.
Technically speaking, Gabrielle was an only child, born Gabrielle Mercedes Booker. Her mother and father were married before she was conceived. That was a big deal to her since it was the only thing she actually held over the four cousins she'd grown up with who couldâand rightly soâbe considered more siblings than cousins.
“Thanks for the information, but I hadn't planned on asking if you were married or not,” Fatima said. “Not at this point, anyway. I wouldn't want you getting the wrong impression about us here.”
In fact, Fatima had noticed the slight cut above Gabrielle's right eye. She couldn't help but wonder what the real story was behind that. And that pukey green, bright sunshine yellow, hot fuchsia, orange, and red scarf carefully tied around her neck didn't seem to match the classy outfit. Fatima pondered whether Gabrielle had possibly worn that scarf to merely cover up some infraction surrounding her neck. That cut above her eye had given Fatima plenty of reason to pause. And Fatima was leaning more toward some act of violence having been done to her than any act of love.
“Well, I wanted to come and personally welcome you to the body of Christ, as well as to Followers of Jesus Faith Worship Center,” Fatima said, maintaining her upbeat manner. “I'd also like to give you my phone number and possibly get yours. That's if you don't mind me having it. With thousands of members, Pastor Landris wants to ensure any new people who attend here have at least one person they can easily reach, in case they need something or have any questions. A point of contact, if you will. And I am indeed delighted to say that I am your contact.”
Gabrielle flashed Fatima a quick smile.
Indeed.
She'd caught Fatima's glance at the cut above her eye that honestly she'd forgotten was even there. And had she known she would end up going forward to be saved, ultimately placing herself visibly in front of other people instead of the come-in-and-leave-without-talking-to-anyone plan she'd originally had, she might have put off coming to church altogether. At least, until her impossible-to-hide-without-big-shades cut had completely healed.
Gabrielle touched the scarf she'd tied around her neckâhappy now she'd chosen to wear it. Scarves were definitely not her thing. They were too old fogey for her. And she was not a scarf person. But leave it to her aunt on her father's side, Cecelia “Cee-Cee” Murphy, to give her something she didn't want but would later possibly need. The only time Gabrielle ever considered wearing a scarf was on her job, and only then if it was requested. Truthfully, even then, she didn't keep it on long enough for it to irritate her the way this one was beginning to do. She pulled at the knot to loosen it a little more, careful that it not become
too
loose and expose the black and blue bruises on her neck.
After leaving the building, she slid into her pearl-colored, automatic five-speed, V6, 2008 Toyota Camry Solara SLE convertible. She draped her off-white wool coat on the passenger's side headrest. She then placed on the passenger's seat her new Bible and the New Convert/New Member's Handbook she'd received from another person who came over right before she left the conference room. She cranked the car, turned the heat on full blast, and pressed a separate button to heat up her tan leather seat. The seat began to warm quickly. When she'd bought this car, that was one feature the manual spoke of that she thought she'd never use, especially living in the South. But on a cold day like this, she absolutely adored this benefit of her car.
Gabrielle reached for the Bible, retrieving the handwritten card Fatima had given her with her contact information along with a message she'd written. Gabrielle couldn't help but smile as she read it.
You are now a new creature. Those old things are officially passed away. It's time to let go of past mistakes made by you and even those made
against
you. It's time for you to walk in your godly call. If you need anything, have questions as you embark upon this new and wonderful faith journey, or you just need a friend, please trust me when I tell you that I'm only a phone call or an e-mail click away.
Fatima had included her home and cell phone numbers, as well as her e-mail address.
Following that were the words
P.S. Read Jeremiah 29:11
.
Gabrielle looked at the Bible and suddenly realized she'd never really opened a Bible before, and especially not to seek out a specific scripture. Those few times as a child she
had
gone to church, the deacons usually read from their Bibles while the congregation passively listened, and nodded with occasional amens. When the pastor stood and read his selected scriptures before giving his text, the congregation was neither required nor encouraged to open their Bibles and read along with him.
Even her beloved Miss Crowe, who had told her some things about God, had never opened the Bible or read anything out of it in her presence. Miss Crowe merely quoted a scripture when she felt the need.
Starting at the front, Gabrielle turned in search of a table of contents. Most nonfiction books contained one. Surely the Bible had to have one. Surely it had to.
She smiled when she found it.
Old Testament. Jeremiah. Page 1099.