Authors: Margaret Dickinson
‘’Course I’m not. I love you, Maddie.’ He laid his cheek against her hair. ‘Don’t ever think otherwise. Promise.’
Muffled against him, she said, ‘Promise.’
The day Michael left, Maddie thought her heart would finally break.
They had not made love again since the discovery of her pregnancy, but now Maddie longed to be in his arms, to be loved just one more time before he went away but he had seemed distant, awkward
with her.
‘Come on,’ he said now, taking her hand. ‘Let’s go for a walk. There’s time before the train goes. I want to talk to you away from the house.’
They walked to the field and leant over the gate. ‘In a couple of months or so, this will be your very own rainbow field framed in gold, Maddie.’
They had planted the bulbs in blocks of different colours, pink, red and purple. But more than any other colour, they had planted Maddie’s favourite yellow.
‘Hey,’ he turned to look at her, grinning. It was the first time he had really smiled in ages. ‘Remember what the gypsy said that day? Maybe that’s what she meant.
Everything you touch will turn to gold.’
Maddie picked the green mould from the top bar of the wooden gate with her fingernail. ‘She also said, I’d have joy and sadness in equal measure. She was right about that,
wasn’t she?’
Tears threatened again.
‘Don’t cry, Tulip,’ he said, putting his arm about her shoulders. ‘I’ll come back, I promise you. Then we’ll get married and be a real family.’ He
turned to face her, tenderly cupped her face in his hands and gently kissed her mouth. ‘Whatever happens, Maddie, always remember that I love you and that I will come back.’
They turned and walked back to the house, their arms wrapped around each other, not caring, for once, who saw them.
The moment of Michael’s leaving was strained and awkward.
‘I’ll come with you to the station, son,’ Frank said, but Michael shook his head.
‘No, Dad. I’d sooner you didn’t.’ He nodded stiffly towards Harriet. His easy, teasing manner towards her had disappeared completely now, but to Nick he said,
‘I’m sorry the work is going to fall on you now.’
To Maddie’s surprise, Nick smiled. ‘S’all right. We’ll manage.’ And the two young men shook hands.
Michael stood a moment looking round at them all, as if committing their faces to memory, but his glance came back to rest on Maddie. ‘I’ll write,’ was his last promise as he
raised his hand and walked away across the yard and out of the gate.
‘Well, I hope you’re satisfied with yourself. You’ve broken up this family good and proper. I suppose next you’ll lose Mr Frank his farm all together
with your fancy notions. Flowers, indeed. Whoever heard of a farmer growing flowers?’
‘Shut up, shut up,’ Maddie rounded on the woman. ‘The fields are doing well. We’ve a lot of work ahead with the weeding and then the picking and you’d do better to
support your beloved Mr Frank than finding fault.’ Boldly, she moved closer to the housekeeper. ‘Why don’t you give him a bit of credit? If he hadn’t wanted to do it, then
he wouldn’t have done, would he?’
Harriet’s mouth was a sneer. ‘Oh, you’ve a lot to learn about men, girl. They’re weak, the lot of ’em. They always make a mess of things and leave us women to pick
up the pieces. And then blame us for it happening in the first place. You caught him when he was down and not knowing which way to turn. And up you come with a fancy notion and he grasps at it,
like a drowning man. And Michael, too. If he is the father of your child, and I for one don’t believe he is, but if he is, then I expect you caught him when he wanted a bit of
comfort.’
Maddie gasped as the tirade went on.
‘And what’s he done now but run away, leaving us to face all the gossip? Aye, and maybe a visit from the police an’ all. And what’ll they do to Mr Frank? They’ll
likely think he’s the father of your bastard and throw him in jail. Oh, I know about you. You’ve bad blood in you and bad blood will always out.’
‘You know nothing about me. How can you?’
‘Oh, I know what I know,’ Harriet said smugly and began to turn away. Maddie caught hold of her arm.
‘What do you mean, you know about me?’
‘Let go of me this instant . . .’ Before Maddie had time to loosen her hold, the woman raised her right hand and dealt the girl a vicious slap on her left cheek, then she gripped
Maddie’s shoulder so fiercely that her fingers dug into the girl’s flesh. She bent forward, pushing her face close to Maddie’s. ‘Why don’t you do us all a
favour,’ she hissed. ‘And hang yourself from that tree in the woods?’
Shocked by the woman’s venom, Maddie pulled herself away and ran out of the back door, across the yard and into the lane. She was shaking and her cheek stung. She couldn’t go back to
the field to help with the hoeing. Mr Frank would want to know what had happened and she didn’t want to tell him. He probably wouldn’t believe her anyway. He would never believe that
the woman he had taken into his home when she had been destitute could say such a thing. Even Maddie could hardly believe it herself now. She knew Harriet hated her, but even she had not realized
quite how malicious the woman was.
She found herself walking towards the village. She quickened her step. Jenny. I must see Jenny.
As she opened the shop door, Mrs Grange behind the counter and her one customer turned see who had come in.
Maddie’s heart sank as she saw who the customer was.
‘Well, well, look who it is?’ Mrs Potter’s voice was thick with sarcastic glee. ‘I’ve just been hearing about you. Got yourself into trouble even quicker than I
thought.’
Maddie, her jaw hardening, glanced at Mrs Grange, whose face turned pink. She lowered her head, hiding beneath the brim of the blue hat she always wore.
‘I’ve come to see Jenny.’ Maddie held her head high and returned Mrs Potter’s stare.
‘Well, now,’ Mrs Potter folded her arms under her ample bosom. ‘I don’t know if we ought to let her see the likes of you. You might lead her into your bad ways. What do
you say, Mrs Grange? I’m only thankful I got rid of you afore you brought shame on my orphanage.’
‘ ’T’isn’t your orphanage. If it’s anyone’s, it’s Sir Peter’s.’
‘He’s ill now and Mr Theo might have been voted on to the Board, but he hasn’t the say-so that his father had. Besides, I can twist that young man round my finger any time I
want.’ Mrs Potter turned to Mrs Grange, ‘I shouldn’t let her see young Jenny, if I were you.’
Anger flooded through Maddie. She was back on familiar ground, facing the woman she had never been afraid of because she didn’t care a jot what Mrs Potter thought about her or what she
could do to her.
‘I will see Jenny. Just try and stop me . . .’ And before either Mrs Grange or Mrs Potter could even move, Maddie was around the counter and through the brown curtain into the rear
of the shop.
‘Jen? You here, Jenny?’
There was the sound of footsteps on the stairs and a door opened and she was there.
‘Maddie! Oh Maddie!’ Jenny’s excited squeak left Maddie in no doubt as to the girl’s pleasure at seeing her. They hugged each other and both began to speak at once and
then laughed together. Then Maddie’s face sobered as she held the girl at arm’s length and said quietly so that the two women in the shop could not hear, ‘I wish you hadn’t
told Mrs Grange about me. The whole village will know now.’
Jenny’s eyes widened. ‘I didn’t, Maddie. I haven’t said a word to anyone. Really, I haven’t.’
Maddie stared into her eyes and saw the truth there. ‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t think . . .’ Then she stopped. Of course. Harriet Trowbridge. Although the woman rarely left
the farm, the only place she did visit occasionally was the village shop. In fact, she was quite friendly with Mrs Grange who often did shopping in Wellandon for the housekeeper from Few Farm.
Hadn’t it been she who had bought those dreadful second-hand clothes from the market stall? Maddie reminded herself. No doubt, she thought wryly, she had been instructed by Harriet to buy the
dreariest, most shapeless clothes she could find.
‘Oh well,’ she sighed. ‘It was bound to get out eventually, but, you see, because I’m not sixteen ’til next month, Michael could get into dreadful trouble. He could
be arrested.’
‘But he’s gone away now, hasn’t he?’
Was there nothing the village shop didn’t know? Maddie wondered. She nodded.
‘Well, then, that’s all right. Isn’t it?’
‘I don’t know,’ Maddie said heavily. ‘If everyone knows now, then sooner or later the local bobby’s going to hear of it, isn’t he?’ She almost added,
And I know someone who’ll probably make sure he does.
‘Oh Maddie, don’t worry. It’ll be all right,’ Jenny smiled. ‘Just think how lucky you are. You’re going to have a little baby to love. A baby all of your very
own.’ Then, as other thoughts crowded in, her first delight faded. ‘You are all right? I mean, they’re not throwing you out at the farm?’
Maddie shook her head. ‘No, but now Michael’s gone, it’s awful. Mr Frank hardly speaks and Mrs Trowbridge only opens her mouth to be nasty. She’s vicious, that
woman.’ Maddie wrinkled her brow thoughtfully. ‘I know she doesn’t like me, but I can’t understand what I’ve done to deserve such hatred.’
‘What about Nick?’ Jenny blushed even as she said his name. ‘He’s not nasty to you, is he?’
‘No. Funnily enough he’s been nicer ever since Michael went. But he’s under his mother’s thumb. What she says, goes, as far as he’s concerned.’
Jenny was thoughtful. ‘I don’t see quite why everyone’s so worried. You’ll be sixteen by the time the baby’s born, won’t you?’
‘Yes, but I wasn’t when – when it happened. You know?’
They all knew the facts of life. It had been explained to them by Mrs Potter who had left the girls in her charge feeling that the whole business was not only distasteful, but sinful too, even
within marriage, let alone outside it.
Jenny hugged her again. ‘Don’t worry, Maddie. As long as you can stay at the farm, it’ll be all right.’
‘If only I knew where he’s gone. What he’s doing. If he’s all right. I can’t sleep at night for thinking about him.’ Maddie gulped back the tears that
threatened.
‘He’ll write soon. When he’s got settled somewhere,’ Jenny comforted. ‘And then, when you’ve had the baby, Michael can come home and you’ll be so
happy.’
As Maddie rested her cheek against her little friend’s hair and closed her eyes, she sent up a silent prayer that Jenny might be right.
But somewhere, deep inside her, she dared not even hope that she would be. The words of the gypsy came back to her: ‘joy and sorrow in equal measure’. Well, she had known the joy,
had touched the heights of ecstasy with Michael. Even through the days and weeks of the foot and mouth disaster and struggling against the harsh winter, even through all that, his love had given
her faith in the future. Their future. Together.
Maddie’s very soul shuddered as she realized that though the hell of the last few weeks had been dreadful, it did not equal the heaven she had known. If the prophecy were true, then Maddie
March would have to face a great deal more anguish yet.
No letter came from Michael in the first week.
‘He’ll be busy getting settled in,’ Frank said and added, unable to keep the anxiety out of his tone. ‘Wherever he is.’
Nor during the second week and by the third week the disappointment was showing in Frank’s eyes too.
Maddie plunged herself into work, trying to stave off the sickness that still gripped her each morning and the ache in her heart.
‘Don’t worry,’ Nick said as they worked side by side. ‘He’ll get in touch as soon as he can.’
Maddie tried to smile. ‘You’ve been awfully good since Michael went.’
It was true. Nick went out earlier than normal every morning, returning at breakfast with the mail in his hand, his grey eyes sympathetic when, each day, there was still no word.
‘You know,’ Maddie said slowly, ‘I could understand it, in a way, him not writing to me. But I would have thought he’d’ve written to his dad.’
She saw Nick glance at her and then away again.
‘What? What is it?’
He gave an exaggerated sigh. ‘Maddie, I know you’re – well – in love with him, I s’pose . . .’
‘Of course I am.’ She was hot with indignation. ‘How can you even think I’d have – that I’d have . . .’ she pointed to her own stomach, ‘done
anything with him if I hadn’t been?’
Nick was shaking his head sadly. ‘Oh Maddie, I tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.’
‘What?’ There was a sudden icy feeling creeping round her heart.
‘You’re not the first, you know.’
She was silent a moment, remembering the girl at the dance. Flatly, she said, ‘I didn’t think for one moment that I was.’
‘I mean – you’re not the first he’s got pregnant.’
‘
What!
’ Now she was shocked and hurt. She felt as if Nick had thrust a knife into her heart. Instinctively protective, she crossed her arms over her stomach. ‘Who?
When?’ she demanded.
Nick shrugged. ‘Brenda somebody. She had a babby last year and the gossip in the village said it was Michael’s.’
‘Oh, gossip. Is that all? I mean, did the girl come here? Did her parents tell his dad?’
Nick shrugged. ‘How should I know?’
‘You seem to know plenty,’ she said tartly.
‘Maddie . . .’ His tone was reproachful. ‘I’m only telling you for your own good. I don’t like to see you getting hurt.’
She frowned. She hated it when anyone said something was for her own good. It had been one of Mrs Potter’s favourite phrases.
‘Tell you what,’ Nick was smiling now, ‘soon as we hear where he is, I’ll go and see him for you. Put your mind at rest, like.’
Maddie was thoughtful. ‘Well, I could go.’
‘No, no,’ Nick said swiftly. ‘That wouldn’t be a good idea. If anyone guessed, it could get him into trouble. A lot of trouble. No, it’d be better if I
went.’
‘Or his dad. His dad could go.’
‘I think Mr Frank is too upset with him at the moment.’
Maddie sighed. ‘I suppose you’re right. But there doesn’t seem to be much chance of anyone being able to go to see him if we’re not even going to hear where he
is.’