“So, Kelly,” Mike drawled, leaning in, smelling like booze. “Guess Mr. Grady can’t deal very well with you letting him go. When I talked to him earlier, he seemed to think you weren’t really broken up. Then he takes a seat here so he must have it exceedingly bad for you. Makes a guy wonder what dating you entails that he can’t move on, even if it makes him like a pathetic puppy.”
He was whispering to me, but I knew very well that Brian could hear him, and it almost made me laugh to see how pissed off he looked.
“I don’t know,” I whispered back. “I guess I’m just that good. I need another drink.” I knew I was being a bitch, but I couldn’t help it. I had a nice buzz going and I was so upset with Brian I just didn’t care anymore.
“Allow me to get you one,” Mike offered, trying to sound charming, but all he actually did was sound really drunk. As soon as he reached the bar, Brian excused himself and made his way to the bar as well. Well this wasn’t going to be good, so I excused
myself
and went over there as well to hear most of the conversation. “Kelly’s not yours, Grady. If I want to get her a drink, I can, and it’s no concern of yours.”
“You are her boss. There is no reason you should be fetching her beverages unless you are trying to get her drunk. We all know doctors have no respect or hindsight when it comes to their conquests—” Brian snapped, but I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out the door before he could finish his tirade.
Once we were outside, I started in. “Go home, Brian. You are way out of line, and you not only embarrassed yourself, you embarrassed me as well. Now either ignore me and act like I’m just another person, or leave. I’m not going to have you ruin my career here. Is that what you want? I’ve already been pulled into the chief’s office to talk to me about you and how our entanglement could
ruin my career
.
“Also that he was glad to hear we weren’t together anymore, that it was the best thing for my future. So even if you don’t get what the hell you’ve put me through, my superiors do. Do you think that’s how I wanted my first meeting with the chief to go? Talking about you and my future here? I’m going back in, because this whole thing is to welcome the interns. The only reason you got invited was because you have money.”
I turned on my heels and walked back into the party, not even bothering to turn around to see if he followed.
I sat back down at the table and Nicole leaned in. “Everything okay?” I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing if what I said would make a difference at all or if I just wasted my breath. Then I saw Brian walk back in and take his seat without a word, not even giving me a glance.
I sipped the drink that Mike had ended up giving me, apologizing for the confrontation at the bar, and started talking with him about what was in store for us on Monday. He might have been drunk, but that was no reason not to pump him for information. The plates were cleared from dinner, desert was served along with coffee, and the DJ put on some music.
Some people started dancing and Nicole was asked by another intern. They hit the dance floor and I watched them so intently I, at first, didn’t notice someone sitting down in Nicole’s empty chair.
“May I have this dance?” I turned and it was Sam sitting there asking me. I nodded, not knowing what else to do. He couldn’t have been that much older than me, around thirty I guessed. He led me to the dance floor, and I was grateful that it wasn’t normal club music, more like retro seventies and eighties tunes. Stuff you might hear at a wedding to appease all parties in attendance.
“You ask interns to dance at these things?” I teased Sam.
“No, not even when I was an intern, but you’re worth breaking that rule for,” he said in my ear. It sent chills down my spine and I felt the warmth of his hand touching my lower back. He smelled good enough to eat. See, it was thoughts like that that were going to get me into big trouble if I didn’t learn to control them! “So are you single, Kelly?”
“Yes, but I just ended a relationship that was going to interfere with my internship, so I plan to stay that way,” I hinted, trying not to say it too pointedly. On top of everything else, I didn’t need the head of neurology being pissed at me because I refused his advances. “Why? I can’t believe that you might be single, Sam?” I tried to regain some of the mysterious air in the conversation.
“Well then be ready to be surprised. I am single. According to my mother, being single and thirty means I’m likely to be a bachelor for life.” That made me laugh. A big shot doctor who listens to his mom and talks to her about his dating life. That was pretty endearing.
“Mama’s boy,” I whispered in his ear. He laughed and spun me. “Oh you are going to be trouble for me, Sam.” I tried to sound lighthearted, but I really did believe he was going to be.
He was too cute to ignore, but also too cute to trust.
He’s too high up the food chain and all you need is some romantic entanglement at work, Kelly.
When the song was over I let go of him, thanked him for the dance, and headed back to my table.
Mike intercepted me on the way. “My turn for a dance with you?” Shit, how was I going to say
no
to my resident. I nodded in defeat, trying not to look like I was upset in any way. “You really are a popular girl, Kelly. I saw you dancing with Sam Meyers. Be careful, he’s known for sleeping with nurses and any good looking woman in the hospital.”
“And your reputation is better than that? No skeletons in your closet?” I prodded, wanting to know a little bit more about him. Was he someone I could trust or just trying to stake his claim on me?
“Well, never any nurses, I did have a little fling with a fellow intern two years ago when I was one. She called it off. She didn’t want any—how did she put it—attachments that might make her choose something over her career.” I could hear the resentment in his voice. It made me feel bad for him, that it hadn’t been short term to him. “Other than that, I’m clean.” He gave me a goofy grin, trying to lighten the mood again.
“Thank you for telling me. It seemed only fair given how Brian seems to have told everyone about our relationship. It’s odd we were only together a few weeks, but he seems so old school, that it meant like we are ready to hit the alter to him. I’m just not there. I’m not the type of woman who wants a man to be in every inch of my life, coming to my work, inserting himself there.
“I mean telling you guys to treat me differently? How controlling can you get? Just doesn’t work for me. What if I walked into his business and humiliated him in from of his board members or something?” I shook my head. I think part of me knew that Brian was listening, and I wanted him to hear how I felt.
“I understand. I’m glad you aren’t that kind of woman. He made it really seem that you were passive. Almost made us wonder what kind of doctor that would make you, just follow around blindly, not making your own path. That’s not very good for a doctor since you’re going to have to make quick decisions on your feet, believe in your abilities.
“Mr. Grady made it very clear to us that you needed to be taken care of, and he was willing to donate money to make sure you got what you wanted. Really made us wonder if you couldn’t get there yourself, or if Mr. Grady just thought you couldn’t get there yourself,” Mike told me.
I appreciated his honestly and it made me feel better that they had not only changed their mind about me, but thought Brain was out of line, too.
“Thank you for being so honest with me, Mike. I appreciate it, and to answer what you were saying, I don’t know what Brian felt. I’ve wondered the same thing, whether he thought I couldn’t get there without him, or what he thought. That’s partially why I ended it. If he didn’t have faith in me after only knowing me a few weeks, he obviously doesn’t know me at all. But to let his opinion loose to my superiors, try to use his influence to sabotage my chances on my own? That isn’t something I can forgive.
“He doesn’t see anything wrong with that. He thinks he’s just my man and his job is to take care of me, that he was just trying to help. I don’t mind him helping sometimes, but his actions scream I can’t handle my own life, career even.” I started to get choked up and looked away. “Can we actually switch topics? I’m glad you were honest with me, but it just happened. I’m not okay with it yet. I’m sorry.”
I broke away from him before I started crying, and went to the bar to order another drink. I saw Brian coming towards me from one side and Sam from the other side. I waved them both away. When I got to the bar and ordered two doubles—chugged the first like nothing—Nicole was next to me.
“Nic, go have fun. Don’t worry about me, I can take care of myself,” I bitched and then realized how out of line I was. “I’m sorry, you don’t deserve that. I appreciate you, I do. I just need to be alone right now. I’m staying for a few more minutes to show nothing is bothering me, and then I’m going home. Go have fun.” I gave her a weak smile that I was not remotely feeling.
“Okay, Kelly. I’m here if you want, but I’ve never known anyone ever who can take care of themselves more than you. If someone doesn’t know that or see that, they don’t know you at all,” Nicole assured slowly but with power behind her words.
I nodded at her and she walked away, and I finished my last double and walked as straight as I could to the door. I gave a few waves and nods as I headed out, but I was too tanked to do much more than that.
Men suck.
I wanted to just tattoo that on my forehead, well not all men, but I didn’t think ‘really old vampire men stuck in the past suck’ would fit on my head.
I got out of the hospital and walked across the street okay. It was when I hit the sidewalk that I finally tripped. I would have landed on my face if a hand hadn’t reached out and grabbed me just in time. On instinct I pulled my arm back and whipped around to see who it was. Like I had to even look. I knew it was Brian by his smell.
“Don’t touch me. I’ve had about
enough
of you.”
“I am sorry. I just wanted to make sure you got home safe, Kelly,” he whispered, looking at my face.
“I can get home safe on my own, Brian Grady. I don’t need you,” I wept, crying now.
“I know. I heard what you said to Mike. I never thought of it like that.”
“Of course you heard what I said to Mike. You were listening in like always. Can’t even give me some privacy, can you? Nothing’s my own or private. You always just have to be in all of my business, don’t you?” I stumbled into the building and tried to walk up the stairs.
I gave up on that and went to the elevator, Brian trailing me. I pushed him back out of the elevator right before the doors closed. I knew he would be upstairs waiting for me, but I didn’t care, just in that moment I needed some peace. Sure enough, the doors opened and there he was, holding his hand out to me.
“Kelly, please. Can we please talk?” he begged when I walked right by his hand.
“No, we can’t. I don’t want to talk anymore tonight, and I really don’t want to talk to you. You ruined something else for me, Brian. This internship is something I’ve been waiting for all my life, getting to be a doctor and save lives. You spoiled my orientation and you wrecked my intro mixer and turned me into a freak so that I might not be able to be a doctor now,” I ranted, trying to get the key in the damn lock with no avail.
He took them from me gently and opened the door to let me in. He followed before I could shut the door. He locked up behind us and I went into the bedroom to grab some blood, and drank it down before I took off the dress and changed into my pajamas. Brian watched me the whole time.
“You know a gentleman leaves the room when a woman changes. Guess that tells me one more thing about you.”
“I am sorry, you are right. I suppose I still think of us together, and I just wish I could touch you. I seem to be captivated by the way you look. I apologize, it was wrong of me. I know you do not want to talk, but can you please just let me talk?”
I nodded, too tired and drunk to fight with him.
“Thank you. I am sorry. I never thought about what I did in the way you told Mike tonight. You are right. I should not have stuck my nose in your business or listened in on your conversation.
“You were wrong about one thing, though. I have faith in you. I know without a doubt that you will be a great doctor. I
know
that you will do better than any intern they have ever seen, and I was just trying to get them to see it the right away. I was just trying to help you and show you the support you deserve.
“I went about it all wrong. I see that now, and when you were talking to Mike and Sam, and they were hitting on you, I just lost it. It is not that you do not deserve their attention, you do. I just could not deal with the fact that I was losing you, or finding out that I had lost you.
“Whatever is left alive of me, I felt it die at the realization that I had lost you, and if nothing else, I needed you to know that I did believe in you. I know you can ace your internship without me, but I do want to be there every step of the way supporting you.
“I never meant to embarrass or humiliate you. I thought you were just being childish and over dramatic. When I heard you and Mike talking, and what Dr. Budding said also, I realized it was not you, it was me. And seeing what I did through your eyes, I would not blame you for ending it and being done with me.
“I just wanted you to know I did not do it for the reasons you thought. I simply did not think of it the same way you did. I am sorry, with my whole being I hope you believe me. I would do anything to take it back or make it up to you if I could.
“Thank you for letting me tell you that, and I truly hope that you believe me and think about what I said.” Brian finished by tucking me in better, giving me a kiss on the forehead, and then leaving my room, closing the door on his way out.
I cried for a while and then fell asleep. I couldn’t think about what was going on or how I felt right then. Everything swam around in my head, what I thought before and what he said now. I couldn’t grasp one single thought. They were all mixed together, and before I could focus, I just fell asleep.