Read The Uncertain Years Online
Authors: Beryl Matthews
Alice waved as they swept out of the camp. ‘Phew, what a night.’
‘You can say that again,’ Becky laughed. ‘I’ll bet some of the girls will be coming here again.’
‘Bound to. It’s good to see the different nationalities mixing like this.’
‘Yes, it was a good idea.’ Becky fell silent, concentrating on her driving; she had a lot to think about.
‘Sorry, sir,’ Becky gasped as she slammed her foot on the brakes, making the car come to a shuddering halt. ‘They just stepped off the pavement without looking. Are you all right?’ She turned round, anxious to check that her passenger was unharmed.
Major General Villiers gave a wry smile as he gathered up his scattered papers. ‘It wasn’t your fault. They drive on the other side of the road in America.’
‘Of course. That’s why they were looking the wrong way.’
There was a tap on the window, and she opened it. Two faces peered in. ‘Hey honey, you all right? We ain’t got used to the traffic here yet.’
‘We’re fine, thank you, but you must be more careful. I nearly ran into you.’
One of the soldiers was nudging his friend. ‘High rank in the back, Ed.’
The one called Ed leant further into the car to get a good look at the major general, and then he grinned. ‘Sorry, sir.’
‘Apology accepted. Now, kindly step away from the car; you are making us late for an appointment.’
‘OK.’ Ed’s head disappeared smartly and the two soldiers stood to attention as Becky drove away, still with wide grins on their faces. They had gathered quite a crowd and she could hear them laughing.
She continued with caution, not trusting the new arrivals to stay on the pavements. ‘Good Lord,’ she murmured, ‘they’re everywhere.’
‘And intent on enjoying themselves,’ the officer remarked. ‘Nice driving, by the way. You have excellent reflexes.’
‘Thank you, sir.’ The major general was asking for her quite often now, and she was more at ease with him, but it was quite something to be given a compliment by him.
‘When we reach the War Office we are to collect Admiral Jamison. You will take us both to the Houses of Parliament for a meeting with the Prime Minister.’
‘Yes, sir.’
They were only five minutes late but Becky saw the Admiral glancing irritably at his watch. She jumped out and marched up to him. ‘I apologise for keeping you waiting, Admiral, but we had an incident on the way and it delayed us. Major General Villiers is waiting for you in the car.’
‘What was the incident?’ he asked, striding ahead of her.
She had to move sharply to reach the car before him so she could open the door. ‘Two Americans stepped off the kerb without looking, sir. I nearly hit them.’
His only reply sounded like a grunt, and she wasted no time in getting under way again. The Admiral didn’t seem too happy.
Normally she blocked out any conversation going on in the back of the car, but something about shipping caught her attention.
‘The losses for March have been the most we’ve sustained so far. We’re losing ships at an alarming rate.’
Becky went cold. Bob was out there somewhere.
‘Come on, mate!’
Bob was so cold he couldn’t feel the hands reaching out to haul him into the lifeboat. He sprawled in the bottom of the small boat and managed to gasp, ‘Thanks.’
‘Sit up,’ someone ordered. ‘And start moving. You’ve got to get the blood circulating.’
‘Sod off!’ He just wanted to be left alone and go to sleep.
‘You sleep now and you’re a dead man, and I’m not gonna let you do that. So move yourself, and flap your arms around. I’ll rub your legs to get the life back in them for you.’
Bob was dragged to a sitting position and someone was pummelling him until he hurt. He wasn’t sure it was a good idea to get the feeling back in his body. When the second torpedo had struck he’d been thrown across the deck, crashing with force against something. When he’d regained consciousness the ship was going down fast and he’d just
had to jump into the sea and swim away from the stricken ship. The rubbing and pulling carried on, and he managed to open one eye to peer at his tormentor. When he saw it was his friend he could have cried with relief. ‘Thank God you made it, Reg. I was looking for you when the second hit came.’
‘And nearly got yourself killed. Now, come on, mate, make an effort to move. That water’s still bloody cold.’
It took a tremendous effort, but Bob began to move his legs and flap his arms, groaning all the time.
‘Are you injured?’ Reg was trying to pull his clothes away so he could inspect him. ‘You’ve got some vicious marks across your body.’
‘They’re only bruises.’ He clasped Reg’s arm. ‘You all right?’
His friend nodded, then spun round when a cry for help was heard. There were eight already in the boat, and each one was now anxiously searching the sea.
‘Over there,’ Bob gasped. ‘I think there’s someone in that direction.’
Men grabbed at the oars and moved as fast as they could in the direction of the faint cries.
They found two men in the water, but one was dead, and the other not far off. They pulled him into the boat and began to try and warm him up.
‘There’s another lifeboat over there!’ someone called.
When they reached it there were twelve men in it; some were all right, but a couple were in a bad way. They lashed the two boats together, and then set about searching for any other survivors. They found no one else alive.
‘Oh, look at that.’ It was the petty officer who spoke, his gaze fixed on the burning ship. ‘She’s going down.’
They all watched with sadness as the bow of the ship rose out of the water, shuddered, and then slipped beneath the waves. There was an eerie silence after that and no one spoke, still unable to take their eyes off the empty spot where their ship had once been.
Bob finally tore his gaze away and looked around, but all there was to be seen was miles and miles of empty sea. They had been on their way to meet up with a convoy coming from America when the U-boat had attacked. Like everyone else in the boat he continued to scan the sea in the hope of finding survivors, but there was nothing moving, or cries for help.
‘Dear God, Bob, is this all that’s left?’ Reg’s voice was thick with emotion.
‘Looks like it.’
Unable to admit that everyone else was lost, they continued to search the sea but didn’t find anyone alive. Exhausted, they eventually gave up. The men in the two boats were all that was left of the crew.
A petty officer was the highest-ranking sailor amongst the survivors, and although in a bad way, he took charge. ‘We don’t know how long it will be before we’re found, so we’ve got to do everything we can to stay alive. Try and rest during the night because we’ll have more chance of being seen in daylight. I’ll keep watch for the first part of the night, and then in the morning I want to see you all exercising. Make it a
regular routine and no slacking, no matter how tired you are.’
Bob and Reg took charge of the exercise periods the next day, encouraging and even swearing at the men who didn’t want to move. Every movement was agony for Bob, and he knew he’d been hurt more than he’d first realised, but that didn’t stop him from joining Reg in the effort to keep the other men alive.
‘You all right, mate?’ Reg asked, after one session.
‘I bloody well hurt all over, but I don’t think anything’s broken, just badly bruised.’ Bob sincerely hoped that was true, but he really wasn’t sure. ‘I’m all right, and like everyone else, must keep moving.’
‘Well, you let me know if the pain gets worse.’ Reg studied his friend with concern.
‘I will, don’t you worry about me. I’ll take a little rest now. Wake me up if I sleep too long.’
One day merged into another until Bob had to fight not to drift into indifference. As the men became weaker the exercise periods dwindled, and the few supplies they had were almost gone. One man had already died and the petty officer was in a very bad way. If they were not rescued soon many more wouldn’t make it.
‘How long have we been in this bloody boat?’ Reg asked, unable to raise his voice above a croak.
‘A week – two weeks? I’ve lost track.’ Suddenly fury raced through Bob. ‘Where’s that damned convoy? It should have reached us by now!’
‘We’re just a tiny dot on the ocean, and they might have sailed past us during the night.’
‘That’s not good enough, Reg.’ The anger running through him had sparked some life back into Bob. ‘They must know we’ve gone down. I’m not going to die out here! I’m not!’ He shook his fist at the empty ocean. ‘Come on, you buggers. We’re here! Use your eyes.’
Bob’s defiant shouting roused the others from their stupor, and those still able to joined him in his fury. They were going to fight to the last breath.
‘Corporal Adams, there’s a phone call for you in the Commander’s office.’
‘A phone call?’ Becky wiped her hands on a rag.
‘That’s right. It’s your brother, so don’t keep him waiting.’
She went cold with dread right down to her toes and took off, scattering tools in her haste. Something bad must have happened. They never received phone calls, unless …
The phone was held out to her as she burst through the door. ‘What’s happened, Will?’ She was gasping from her mad dash.
‘I’ve got some bad news. Bob’s ship has been sunk … and they haven’t found any survivors yet.’
She gripped the edge of the desk to steady herself. The news came like a physical blow. ‘Oh, not Bob.’
‘I’m afraid so, Becky. I’ll let you know the moment I hear anything, but I thought you ought to know what’s happened.’
‘Oh, Will, this is terrible. Bob’s parents will be devastated. Have you seen them?’
‘Yes, and they’re with Mum and Dad, so they will help them through this. All we can do is hope and pray that he’s still alive. Sorry to phone with such terrible news.’
She had never heard her brother this upset, and she tried to stem her own tears. Dear, gentle Bob. ‘We mustn’t give up hope. We thought David had died, but he turned up.’
‘That was on dry land, Becky. The sea is a very hostile place, and the last message received from them was over a week ago.’
‘Why didn’t you let me know sooner?’
‘I was hoping he would be found before I had to make this phone call. Sorry. I’ll phone again when there’s some news.’
‘I understand, and thank you for letting me know now.’ That was all she had time to say before he put the phone down.
Standing motionless with the phone still in her hand, Becky fought an inner battle to retain her composure, when all she wanted to do was give in to her grief. All around her people were coping with the loss of family and friends, but they carried on with what had to be done, and that’s what she must do. Bob would expect it of her.
She replaced the phone and took a deep breath. It hurt so much.
Bob had always been her favourite. He was the one who had included her in whatever the boys were doing. Sometimes, Will and Jim would try to sneak off without
her, but Bob wouldn’t let them. They gave up trying to dodge her in the end, and by the time she was nine they had become a permanent foursome. She’d always known that eventually the boys would find girlfriends and they’d split up, but she would have been happy to see them settled with families of their own. She bowed her head in sorrow. To lose any of them like this was too cruel.
Someone touched her arm and she started out of her reverie.
‘Sit down for a moment,’ one of the girls from the office said kindly. ‘I’ll get you a cup of tea.’
Becky straightened up. ‘Thank you, but I must get back to the car I’m working on. It’s needed for an officer in an hour.’
‘Someone else will finish it. You’ve obviously had some bad news. You’re as white as a sheet.’
‘I’m all right, really.’ She gave the girl a tight smile, and hurried out of the office, glad to breathe in the fresh air.
For the rest of the day she was kept busy and that was a blessing. Numbness had settled over her, but not for a moment did she allow it to interfere with her work. If she stopped and allowed herself to think, her fear for Bob would overwhelm her.
Alice was on leave, so Becky spent the evening on her own, writing letters to Bob’s parents and her own. When a couple of the girls tried to get her to join them in the NAAFI she refused. She had got through the day quite well, but the thought of being with others and trying to
make polite conversation was asking too much at the moment. Perhaps she would feel more sociable tomorrow when, hopefully, the pain and shock wouldn’t be quite so severe. And there might be news. As with David, the not knowing was agony.
Another week passed without news of Bob, but Becky carried on, never saying a word to anyone about it. Alice was due back from leave soon, and it would be a comfort to have her friend around.
She was giving the car a vigorous polish prior to collecting an officer, when she looked up and saw Major Brent coming towards her with a civilian. It took her a moment to realise who it was, but she didn’t forget to salute the major first, even though she was filled with dread.
‘I met your father at the gate.’ Major Brent shook hands with Bill Adams. ‘It’s a pleasure to have met you, Mr Adams. Your daughter will escort you back to the gate. Don’t stay too long.’
‘I won’t, and thank you, Major.’
As the officer left them Becky caught hold of her father’s hand. ‘There must be news for you to have come here, Dad.’
‘I came as soon as we heard. Bob’s safe, darling. We haven’t any details, but we have been told he’s been picked up by an American merchant ship.’
‘Thank God! That’s wonderful news. Is he all right?’
‘We don’t know that, Becky; those poor devils have been in open boats for two weeks, but Will’s on the story, so he’ll get all the details.’
‘What an ordeal that must have been.’ Becky drew in a shuddering breath of relief. ‘But he’s alive, and that’s the main thing.’
‘Yes, that’s very good news, and soon as we know where he’s being taken, we’ll let you know. Now, you’d better see me off the camp. The major very kindly allowed me to see you, but I don’t think I should really be here.’
‘You all right, Reg?’ Bob leant on the bunk to see his friend.
‘Just about.’ He reached out with a shaking hand to take the glass Bob handed him and drank thirstily. ‘That was a close call. Who picked us up?’
‘An American merchant ship on her way back to New York. Only twenty of us got to the lifeboats, and one died, as you know. Now the petty officer’s in a very bad way.’ Bob bowed his head, lines of distress etched on his face. ‘Everyone else – gone …’
‘You shouldn’t be up yet, sailor.’ The ship’s medic steadied Bob as he swayed. ‘You’re too weak.’
‘Is it right we’re heading for New York?’ Reg asked, hoisting himself up to a sitting position.
‘Yes, we’ll dock tomorrow evening. Messages have been
sent and your folks will all have been told you’re safe. Ambulances will be waiting to take you to hospital as soon as we arrive.’
‘Thanks, mate.’ Reg flopped back, exhausted. ‘How long have we been on board?’
‘We spotted you three days ago, and to be honest we thought you were all dead.’ The medic’s mouth turned up at the corners. ‘Until we heard an English voice call, “Where the bloody hell have you been?”’
‘Come on, chum.’ Firm hands gripped Bob as he began to shake. ‘We’d sure like to get you all there alive.’
‘What are the chances of that?’
‘Hard to say at this point, but we’ll do our best. Now, back to bed with you, and don’t get up again. We don’t know if you’ve sustained any internal injuries, so I’d like you to stay as still as possible until the doctors get a good look at you.’
Bob allowed himself to be led back to his bunk, and sighed with relief when he was lifted in. ‘God, but I feel terrible.’
‘That isn’t surprising; you’ve had a hell of a time. You all have injuries – some more severe than others – and your immediate need is for food, drink and rest.’ The medic smiled. ‘Just wait until you get to the hospital. The nurses are going to make a great fuss of you.’
‘Are they pretty?’ the man in the next bunk croaked.
‘Just like Betty Grable.’
‘What luck!’ Reg called. ‘And not one of us with as much strength as a newborn baby.’
A ripple of laughter went around the sick bay, and it
was a welcome sound from a group of men who had been so close to death.
Bob closed his eyes, a slight smile on his face, and immediately fell asleep.
It was the noise that woke him; the sick bay was alive with activity as men were being lifted out of bunks and put on stretchers.
Doctors were quickly checking each of the survivors before allowing them to be moved, giving quiet orders as they worked.
‘These two first. Get them to the hospital fast. Stay put, sailor. No, you can’t walk …’
He listened to this. They must have docked, but he’d been completely unaware of time passing.
‘I tell you I’m walking off this ship!’ Reg complained. ‘I am quite all right.’
‘OK, let’s see you stand up.’
There was much puffing and grunting, then an American voice saying, ‘I’ve got you, chum.’
‘Do as you’re told, Reg,’ Bob called, when he saw how shaky his friend was.
‘I ain’t got no choice, mate,’ he answered. ‘My legs won’t hold me.’
A doctor reached Bob then and began to examine him. ‘Hmm, we’ll have to see if anything’s broken. Your body’s taken a pounding. How did you come by these injuries?’
Bob looked at the man in amazement. ‘Some silly devil blew up our ship.’
‘I know that, sailor.’ The doctor gave a wry smile. ‘What I meant was did something hit you?’
‘Ah, I see. Well, I got thrown across the deck when the second torpedo hit, and I crashed into something. Don’t remember much after that until I was in the lifeboat.’
‘This one next,’ the doctor ordered, ‘and be careful with him.’
‘He’s not hurt bad, is he, Doc?’ Reg’s worried face appeared next to Bob as he was being carried out. ‘He’s been the life and soul of the party in the lifeboat.’
‘I’m all right.’ Bob gave his friend a reassuring smile. ‘I’d have known if I’d been badly hurt. They’re just being careful. See you at the hospital.’
‘Hey, mate.’ Reg called over an orderly. ‘Are we all going to the same place?’
‘Yeah, you’ll all be together.’
‘That’s all right then. We sort of got used to each other’s company,’ Reg quipped.
The scene on the dockside was unbelievable. Although it was dusk, the place was ablaze with lights, and crowded with people. Encouragement was shouted to each of the survivors as they were carried to the waiting ambulances. After the strict blackout at home it was fascinating.
Bob was loaded into an ambulance with the petty officer. A doctor was already dealing with him, and a nurse sat with Bob, wiping his brow with something sweet smelling. He hadn’t realised he was sweating. ‘Oh, that feels good,’ he murmured, and then closed his eyes when the sirens began to scream. The vehicle was going at breakneck speed and he wished they would slow down a bit. The nurse said something he couldn’t quite hear, her voice seemed to be coming from a great distance, but he
could feel her warm hand in his, and he held on tight. He felt bad.
He thought she called the doctor, and then a man was bending over him. ‘The other one’s gone. We got to him too late, but after all these poor devils have gone through, we’ve got to save this one.’
What’s he talking about?
Bob thought.
I’m all right, and I don’t hurt any more. I’m just tired – so very tired.
But they wouldn’t let him sleep. Why wouldn’t they let him sleep? Everything was such a rush. They were wheeling him along … running … why were they running?
Gradually Bob became aware of being in a comfortable bed that wasn’t moving around, clean sheets and a disinfectant smell …
‘Bob! Wake up, mate. Please wake up.’
‘Hmm?’ A straw was put in his mouth and he sucked at it. Orange juice? It was lovely.
‘My goodness, you did enjoy that,’ said a female voice. ‘Open your eyes now, Bob, your friend wants to talk to you.’
It was such an effort, and as consciousness returned so did the pain, and he gasped.
‘We’ve given you something for the pain and it will ease soon,’ the voice told him.
Fully conscious now, he opened his eyes and looked straight at Reg, who was leaning over him.
‘Thank God! We thought you were going to die, like the petty officer.’
‘What the hell happened? I was all right.’ The doctor arrived then. ‘What happened to me, Doc?’
‘When you were thrown across the deck two ribs were cracked, and you had received a severe blow across your abdomen. The merchant ship that picked you up sailed into a storm and you were all tossed about. A weakened blood vessel began to leak, but we got to you just in time. If it had burst completely you would have been dead in minutes. You’ll make a full recovery now.’
He listened in disbelief. ‘Why didn’t I realise I’d been hurt that bad?’
‘Because you had been in cold water and then in an open boat. It had numbed you, and it was only once you were warm the trouble began to be felt.’ The man smiled and patted his shoulder. ‘You rest now. We’ve repaired the damage and you’ll be as good as new in a few days.’
‘Thanks. Did the petty officer die in the ambulance?’
‘I’m sorry to say he did.’
‘Oh, hell, he was a brave man.’
‘You all are.’ The doctor took hold of Reg’s arm. ‘And it’s time you were back in bed. Your friend’s going to be fine, and you’re right next to him, so you can keep an eye on him.’
Reg nodded, smiled with relief at Bob, then climbed into the next bed, propping himself up on his arm so he could still talk to his friend. ‘When you feel better we’ll all go out on the town,’ he said. ‘They don’t know the meaning of the word blackout here, and it’s a real pretty sight.’
‘You’re on. Do you think we can persuade some of the nurses to come with us?’
‘Of course we can. We’re gonna need looking after, aren’t we? Go to sleep now, Bob, we’ve all got to get our strength back.’
For a week they were content to rest, eat good food, and enjoy the fuss being made of them. But that was enough, and the survivors, to a man, began to ask the question uppermost in their minds.
‘How are we going to get back home?’ Bob was the first one to bring up the question. ‘We’re grateful for the care you’ve given us, Doc, but we need to get back now.’
‘Sure you do, but leave it another couple of days and someone will be coming to see you soon.’ The doctor looked at the men gathered around him. ‘It won’t hurt you to have a couple more days of rest.’
‘That’s all very well, Doc,’ Reg told him, ‘but I want to get my own back on that bloody U-boat. And we’re not going to get a chance to do that sitting here.’
‘We’re all that’s left of our crew. All our mates went down with her,’ Harry, one of the other men explained. ‘Those devils under the sea aren’t going to get away with it. That ship had been our home since the start of the war, and the crew were our mates. This is very personal now.’
The doctor was thoughtful for a moment, then said, ‘You know when France fell the opinion of some here was that Britain couldn’t survive on her own, but after meeting all of you I can see why she’s held out against all the odds.’
Reg shrugged. ‘Ah, we heard that tale, but we’re stubborn enough not to believe it. Tell me, Doc, what
would you have done if you’d been faced with the same situation?’
‘Fought to my last breath to stop being invaded.’
‘Exactly! There really isn’t any choice, is there?’
‘None at all.’ The doctor began to examine Bob. ‘You guys nearly died out there, but you’ve all made a good recovery, and I can see you’re wanting to give up this idle life now you’ve recovered from your ordeal.’
‘I’m not sure we’ll ever completely recover,’ Bob told him seriously. ‘We’ll carry the memory of those who died for the rest of our lives.’
‘That hurt I can’t heal, I’m afraid.’ Then he hurried off to answer an emergency call.
‘Who’s this?’ Reg nudged Bob. ‘He’s British army.’
Bob blinked, unable to believe his eyes. Then he swung his legs out of bed and stood upright, grinning in delight. ‘Will, what on earth are you doing here?’
The friends greeted each other with great pleasure. ‘Am I glad to see you! We thought we’d lost you. Becky sends her love.’
‘How’s my mum and dad?’
‘Fine since they were told you’re all right.’
‘Well, aren’t you going to introduce us?’ Reg interrupted.
‘Sorry, this is my friend Will I’ve told you so much about.’
Reg beamed. ‘You’re the war correspondent. Great to meet you, Will.’
Bob introduced the men who had gathered around and waited while they shook hands, then chairs were dragged from everywhere so they could all sit down together. Will
was known to many of the men through his reports and newsreels, and they were eager to talk to him.
‘You guys having a party?’ one of the nurses asked.
‘We would if you could rustle us up some tea,’ Reg teased.
‘You English and your tea. I’ll see what I can do, but keep the noise down.’
‘Yes, Nurse,’ they all said in mock obedience, and she hurried away, laughing.
‘It’s wonderful to see you, Will, but what brings you here?’ Bob couldn’t get over his surprise.
‘I’m here to do a story on how the ordinary Americans feel about going to war – a war they didn’t want or ask for.’ Will studied the faces around him. ‘Then I want your story, if you don’t mind talking about it?’
‘We’ll tell you what happened, won’t we?’ Reg asked the others, and then turned back to Will when they all nodded in agreement.
‘Thanks. And lastly, I’m here to take you all home. The
Queen Mary’
s been turned into a troop ship, and we’re sailing on her in three days.’
A cheer went up and two nurses appeared. ‘Quiet! There are a lot of sick people here.’
‘Sorry, Nurse.’ Bob lowered his voice. ‘But we’ll soon be out of your way. We’re going home!’