“I’m not offended by your scars. I’m angry at Ferrin for doing this to you.” Enraged was more like it. Any man who would hurt a woman like that, let alone his own sister, deserved to hang from the nearest tree.
“Then—then they do not bother you?” She pulled back enough to look into his face. The pain he saw there, mixed with a smudge of relief tore at his soul.
“No, sweetheart, they don’t.” He reached for her hands and tugged on her gloves, pulling them off.
Rainee blinked several times as she watched him remove her gloves. With the lightest touch, he ran his thumbs over the raised scars that covered her hands and wrists. His heart was weeping hard for her and what she had endured.
Rainee’s eyelids dropped. She stood there like a frightened fawn ready to bolt but knowing there was no place to run.
Haydon struggled to keep back the tears burning the back of his eyes. He raised her hands and gently pressed
his lips on them, kissing them. His tears dropped onto her marred flesh. “I’m so sorry, Rainee.” His voice quavered. He kissed her hands again and again. “I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to endure.” With each touch of his lips against her hands another tear fell. He pressed her tear-covered hands against his wet cheeks and cradled them there.
He heard her short intakes of breath and her silent cries. He tilted her chin upward and gazed down at her. His heart ached with the desire to comfort her, to hold her, to kiss away the uncertainty in her eyes. Haydon cupped her face with his hands and allowed the love and compassion he had for her to rain through his eyes without shame or restraint. He leaned his head down, and tenderly touched his lips to hers.
He raised his head and locked gazes with her. “I promise you, Rainee, that man will never hurt you again. You and I are getting married. Today.”
S
till dazed at Haydon’s second mention of them getting married, Rainee brightened but dimmed just as quickly. Her gaze fell along with her heart. She had never met a more tender, loving man in her life. “We need to talk.” The huskiness in her voice matched Haydon’s. She led him over to a large tree stump. She sat down, and Haydon lowered his bulky frame beside her and faced her.
Wishing she could blot away the confusion from his face, Rainee drew in a long breath to settle the words inside her. What she had to say was breaking her heart, but she wanted to do right by Haydon, so she reached down and pulled out the words buried inside her. “When I first came here, I was in desperate need to get away from Ferrin. No, let me back up a bit. I had already written to you—to Jesse—because of the severe beatings, but then I overheard Ferrin telling Mr. Alexander he had just bought himself a wife and how he would have his hands full with me. I quickly found Jenetta and told her. She and I packed a few things in the dead of the night, and I left. I stayed with a friend in Chicago until plans were made for my trip out here.
“But when I got here and discovered it was not you who had sent for me and that you did not wish to marry me, I panicked. I was so afraid Ferrin would somehow find me before we married that all I thought about was trying to figure out a way to get you to marry me.” Her eyes snagged on his. “But since then, I have gotten to know you, and you are a very kind, caring person, Haydon Bowen.”
He smiled.
“And that is why I cannot marry you.”
His smile faded and his forehead wrinkled. “I don’t understand.”
“I cannot in good conscience marry you just to relieve myself of my family’s burdens. Nor can I marry you knowing you never wanted to wed again, let alone marry someone you do not love. I cannot. No. I will not do that to you.”
“You wouldn’t be doing anything
to
me. You’d be doing it
for
me.”
She tilted her head sideways. “Excuse me?”
Haydon reached for her hands. “I meant what I said last night. I
want
to marry you, Rainee. Not because I feel like I have to. Actually, my motive is a rather selfish one. Because you see, I do love you. And I can only hope that in time you can come to love me, too.”
Hope ignited within her as she searched his eyes for the truth. Tenderness and love mirrored through his eyes and into hers. “Oh, Haydon. I already love you. I have for a long time. You are everything I want in a man. And much much more. But before I answer you, I do have one more thing that concerns me. It is the reason why I fled this morning.”
Puzzlement darted across his face and landed in his eyes. “What’s that?”
“I fear my staying here will…
has
already put your family in danger. You have seen what my brother is capable of. He does not like to lose. He and Mr. Alexander are very powerful and controlling men who will stop at nothing to eliminate anything or anyone who gets in their way. If Ferrin struck a bargain with Mr. Alexander, neither will stop until they get what they came for.”
“You,” Haydon interjected.
Rainee nodded.
“Well, sweetheart, if that’s all that’s stopping you from saying yes, then we have a wedding to plan. I have dealt with worse men than your brother. My brothers and I, and Smokey, are more than able to protect ourselves and our families from the likes of Ferrin. We’ve done it before, and we’ll do it again. I won’t lose you. And I know Mother and my family will agree. There is no way any of us will let you go. We all love you too much. So what do you say? Will you marry me?”
Rainee searched his eyes, seeing he meant every word he said. She dipped her head coyly and responded the only way she properly could. “Why, Mister Bowen,” she drawled, “I thought you would never ask a third time….” She laughed, then frowned. “But are you sure that is what you want?”
In one swift motion, Haydon rose, pulled her into his arms and kissed her. When their lips parted, he whispered, “Does that answer your question?”
His lips found hers again. The intensity and love behind his kiss melted any remaining doubts Rainee had about his love for her.
With her heart racing like the wind, she pulled back and slowly stepped out of his arms. “So, now what?” she asked, her voice rasped with love.
He gathered her hand in his and led her toward Rebel.
“We have a wedding to plan. So let’s head back to the ranch.”
As they mounted the horse, sitting in front of Haydon, Rainee silently prayed,
God, please work everything out for Haydon and I to wed before Ferrin can stop us.
Haydon reached around her, pulling her against his chest. She loved the feel of his arms around her. Loved the security they offered. She sighed. She may as well enjoy it while it lasted. For as soon as they reached the ranch, she was certain it would all come to an end. Ferrin would find a way to get to her before they could wed.
“Rainee.” Haydon’s breath tickled her ear. “You said the scars on your back are worse. What happened? Whatever possessed him to treat his own sister like that?”
Rainee licked her lips and swallowed. “Ferrin said I was in need of discipline because I was spoiled. Said I needed to be taught a lesson. So he put me to work. When something was not done to his satisfaction, I was punished. Ferrin would whip my hands for each watermark I left on the dishes or silver.
“I also had to haul wood to the firebox. It was back-breaking work, and we had servants to do it, but he informed me I was no longer a member of
his
household but a paid slave whose wages were a roof over my head and food.
“He forced the servants to pile wood in my arms until it reached my nose. If I dropped any on the way to the house, Ferrin would rip the back of my dress open and give me a lash for every piece I dropped.” The memory of his beatings tore at her heart and mind, reopening cavernous wounds like the leather strip that had torn her flesh. She felt the pain of those beatings as if they
had happened yesterday instead of months ago, but she refused to shed any more tears over them.
“Several times the beatings were so severe, I blacked out. It was as if he were punishing me for something more than watermarks and dropped wood. Ferrin said it was for my own good. That he needed to break my wild spirit. But as you have daily proof, you can see he did not break my spirit.” She chuckled, but no humor accompanied it.
“If I ever get my hands on that man, I’ll—” Haydon’s chest vibrated with his throaty groan.
“If you put your hands to him that would make you like him. And you are nothing like him.”
“It still makes me livid to think about what he did to you.”
“It makes me sad.” She shifted in the saddle. “I do not wish to talk about this anymore.”
“I didn’t think about how difficult it would be for you to relive what he did. I’m sorry. I should have never asked.”
She laid her hand on his arm and patted it. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” She tilted her head up at him, and he kissed her cheek.
They dismounted near the river to fill their canteens and to allow Rebel to get a drink.
“Rainee.” Haydon took her hands in his. “I’ve been thinking. You’ve shared your past with me. Before we get married, it’s only fair that I tell you something as well. And after hearing it, I can only hope and pray you’ll still want to marry me.”
“Nothing you could tell me would make me not marry you.”
“I hope so.”
He prayed God would help him to tell her all, no matter how ugly the truth was. “In Jesse’s letter, did he tell you I was married before and that it’s my fault my wife died?”
“No. He did not. But I cannot imagine it is your fault that she is dead.”
“It is. Even though Melanie was warned ahead of time what it would be like and how hard it would be out here, she still agreed to move. And was even looking forward to it. When the reality of this land hit her, she ended up hating it and resenting me for bringing her here. I should have noticed all the signs sooner. But I didn’t. I failed my wife, Rainee. I failed her in every way. And because of that failure, she ended up having an affair.”
He turned, not able to bear looking at her, as he told her the awful truth, and he debated whether to take her back now and forget about marrying her or to continue. He decided he had to take the risk. He loved her too much. Plus she may as well hear all of the ugly, sordid details.
He faced her.
“The night she died, we got into a big argument. She said she wanted to go back East. I promised her that as soon as traveling weather permitted I would take her back. She said she wouldn’t wait. She would leave right away with or without me. I forbade her to go, ordered her to wait. I should have never done that, knowing that as soon as I told Melanie she couldn’t do something, she would do it out of pure spite.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “She left during the night on foot and I found her body the next morning at the base of a hill wrapped around a tree. I could see the trail of broken branches down the hill where she’d
fallen.” He shook his head. “I should have guarded my words more carefully.”
Rainee laid her hand on his arm. “There is no way you could have foreseen her leaving, Haydon. What woman in her right mind would leave in the middle of the night out in this wilderness territory?”
He wanted to mention that she had, but he didn’t. She was right. Most women wouldn’t. And yet…
“If I hadn’t gotten so angry and hadn’t slept in the barn that night, I could have prevented her death. I would have heard her leave. I knew better. It’s as if I killed her myself. I drove her away by being such a lousy husband. I’m so afraid I’ll do the same to you. I failed her and I’ve already failed you. Last night I didn’t even know you’d left. You could have fallen or been attacked by a wild animal.” As if a rain cloud had burst open, tears poured from his eyes and drizzled down his face.
Instantly, Rainee’s arms were around him, pulling him close and cradling him. He clung to her, pulling the love she offered into his soul.
“You are no more to blame for Melanie’s death than I. Do you not see she made a choice to leave? As did I. Haydon, my love, you cannot stop people from making wrong choices. It is impossible for you to be with someone every second of the day and night. We all make choices every day. And we have to live with the consequences of those choices whether they be good or bad. Sometimes the consequences of our actions hurt the ones we love. Melanie’s spitefulness and poor choice caused her death—you didn’t.”
Her words poured warm honey over his soul. She was right. Melanie did have a choice. For the first time since
his wife’s death, he found a glimpse of forgiveness for himself, knowing eventually Melanie would have left whether or not he was there.
He pulled back and looked into Rainee’s eyes. “Thank you, Rainee. I’ve carried this guilt around for so long. The Lord told me I needed to forgive myself and to tear down the wall I’d built around my heart, to be open to love again. I’m not sure I could have done that without you, but now I’m so glad I did. I love you, Rainee.” His lips parted and covered hers in one of the sweetest kisses he’d ever given and received. The weight of the past disappeared with his sigh of contentment.
When their lips parted, Rainee’s eyes were shining. “There is just one more little thing.” She reached into her pocket and brought out a yellowed piece of parchment.
Haydon’s heart hitched when he saw the name scrawled there. Bettes. He looked at her, willing her not to say what he was afraid she might.
Her gaze stayed on the letter. “Jesse gave this to me yesterday. I do not know how long he had it in his possession.” She laughed. “You never know with Jesse.”
The center of Haydon’s heart began to pang painfully. He saw nothing funny in this news.
Then her eyes captured his again, and there was mirth in them. “It appears in my absence Mr. Bettes found himself another bride. He said he has no use for my services.”
The relief came out in a whoop as Haydon scooped her up and twirled her around. “Rainelle Victoria Devonwood, I do believe that’s the best news I’ve heard in years.”
She smiled as she lowered her lips to his. “I was hoping you would say that.”
The closer they got to the ranch, the more a nervous fluttering filled Rainee’s stomach. Thoughts of seeing either of the two men still sent chills of dread up and down her spine. She tucked herself farther into Haydon’s chest, wanting to disappear into him.
As she and Haydon rounded the trees heading to the ranch, Rainee started trembling.
Haydon tightened his hold. “You have nothing to be afraid of, Rainee. I’ll take care of you.”
Rainee wanted to believe him, wanted it to be so regardless of the fantasy she had allowed to take root in her heart, but knowing her brother’s determination, along with his uncanny knack of twisting things and making people believe the worst of lies, it would not surprise her if he and Mr. Alexander were at the ranch waiting.
The house came into view. Rainee expected to see Ferrin’s horse along with the sheriff’s. Instead, she saw Katherine leap from the porch swing and race toward them.
Haydon slid from his horse and reached up to help Rainee down.
The moment Rainee’s feet touched the ground Katherine grabbed her and threw her arms around her. “Rainee, I’m so glad you’re okay.” She pulled back. “I’ve been so worried about you.” She hugged Rainee again.
“I am so sorry I caused you concern, but I just had—”
“There’s no need to explain. None at all.” Katherine jerked back and clasped Rainee by the elbows. “You’re here now. And there is no way that you are
ever
going back to that—that man again.”
“That’s right, Mother. Because—” Haydon joined his hands with Rainee’s and flashed a luminescent smile her direction “—Rainee and I are getting married.”
Katherine’s gaze whipped to Haydon, then back at Rainee. She grabbed Rainee in an exuberant hug. “I knew God was in this.” His mother released her and turned to collect Haydon in her arms. “Congratulations, son. I’m so happy, I could just cry.” She pulled back. Squaring her shoulders, she ran her hands over her skirt and patted her hair. “Yes, well. It looks like we have a wedding to plan, now don’t we?”