The Unforgiving Minute (10 page)

R
YAN
blinked awake to find the gray light of pre-dawn trickling round the edges of the curtains. Josh was out of bed, quietly picking up his clothes and obviously trying not to wake Ryan.

“Josh?”

Josh jumped, and Ryan reached to turn on the bedside lamp. “What time is it? You don’t have to go yet.”

Josh shook his head as he pulled on his pants. “This was a really bad idea.”

That woke Ryan up as nothing else would have done. “What?” he said, sitting up and staring at Josh. “Why?”

“It just was,” Josh said. “Where’s my—oh.” He picked up his shirt and slipped it on.

“Josh, wait.”

But Josh was sitting on the bed so he could shove his feet into his shoes, and Ryan had only seconds to stop this.

“Please,” he said. “Just talk to me.”

Josh hesitated for a minute, and then he lowered his head and sighed.

Ryan scrubbed his hands through his hair. He didn’t know what to say but had to say something because Josh obviously wasn’t going to.

“Look, we’re friends, right? And then we had amazing sex—at least, I thought it was amazing and you seemed to like it too—and I really like you, Josh, so I don’t see what the problem is here.”

Josh was very still.

“Please stay,” Ryan said in the end. “Just until the alarm goes. I set it early enough so no one will see you, and even if they do, well, you just crashed out on the couch, yeah? I’m not going to tell anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“That’s not—” Josh broke off and sighed. He looked up at Ryan. “What did you say again?”

“Which bit? Because I’m happy to say it all again but it was a bit long.”

For an instant Josh looked as if he might smile. He suddenly looked like Josh again, instead of the pale, panic-stricken stranger who’d been dressing as fast as he could.

“We’re friends,” Ryan said, “who had amazing sex, and I really like you, and I won’t tell anyone. And the alarm’s been set early and—”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Josh said. He looked at Ryan. “You mean it?”

Ryan didn’t know what bit Josh was asking about, but that was okay. He’d meant all of it. “Yeah,” he said.

Josh sighed, and the tension in his shoulders slowly eased.

“Come back to bed?” Ryan asked.

He pulled back the covers on Josh’s side in invitation while Josh took off his clothes again. When Josh climbed back into bed, Ryan put his arms around him. He ignored the pain in his leg that was beginning to make itself known. It hurt more to think of lying there on his own, watching Josh sneak out in the dawn.

Ryan must have fallen asleep again because he awoke with a jerk when his alarm went off. Josh muttered something uncomplimentary about his alarm tune and pulled the covers over his head as Ryan put the light on.

Ryan poked him. “I’ll switch the alarm off if you get up.”

Josh pushed the covers back and sat up. With his hair all on end and the expression on his face, he reminded Ryan of nothing so much as a particularly grumpy hedgehog. It really wasn’t fair that Josh made even
that
look attractive.

“Go,” Ryan said, giving him a push, “before I lose my mind and ravish you.”

“Seriously? I don’t want to know what sort of books you read, do I?” Josh was up even as he was talking, pulling on his clothes swiftly. He hesitated for a minute. “Have a good match today.”

“Yeah, you too,” Ryan said. “Do you want….” He trailed off, not sure how to ask what he wanted to without sounding pathetic. “Will I see you tonight? Not, I mean, we don’t have to, we can just talk—”

“Ryan,” Josh said, and there was a smile in his eyes, “I’ll see you tonight.”

Ryan yawned as he watched Josh cautiously open the hotel room door, scanning to see if anyone was around before slipping out. As the door clicked quietly behind Josh, Ryan stayed awake just long enough to reset the alarm.

T
HROUGHOUT
the rest of day, Ryan had an awareness thrumming through him about last night, about Josh and how good it had been. But he couldn’t let himself stop and think about it. He’d never been more thankful for his work with Zoe as he employed techniques that pushed thoughts of Josh to the very corner of his mind. He was aware of a feeling of warmth and happiness, but not so aware that it would be allowed to distract him from his goal, which was winning his match, bruised leg or not.

Pedersen bounced him around the court as much as he could, merciless in the way he made Ryan run and stretch to get the ball back. If Ryan wasn’t entirely mistaken, he was hoping Ryan might just do that whole crashing-into-something-and-collapsing-in-a-bruised-heap thing again. But that didn’t happen this time, and after an intense, close match that went to a tiebreak, victory was Ryan’s.

“H
OLY
shit,” Elena said, sitting down opposite him in the restaurant that night. “You didn’t?”

How? How in God’s name did she
do
that? He hadn’t said anything. It wasn’t even as if he was smiling all that much. At least, he didn’t think he was.

“You fucking did, didn’t you? Come on, marks out of ten.”

“Elena,” he hissed at her.

She did at least drop her voice to a near-whisper at his reaction. “Nine and a half? Or is he one of those pretty boys who just lies there and thinks that being pretty is enough? He’s a three, isn’t he? Can’t be lower than that, not with those lips.”

“Elena.”

She grinned. “Never mind, you can tell me all about it another time,” she promised. “Lily and I are flying out tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sorry,” he said, because they’d been knocked out earlier that afternoon by the current world number-one pairing.

She shrugged, philosophical. “We pushed them harder than we have before.” And he knew that was true. Elena had worked hard on her second serve, and that, combined with Lily’s improvement at the net, was helping them make steady progress.

He said a regretful goodbye to her after their meal, but he didn’t feel the customary drop of the stomach as she walked away because he was no longer facing days where he didn’t know anyone except Stefan and whatever random strangers he’d managed to entice into conversation. He went back up to his room, trying hard to quash the excitement he could feel building inside. If he let his feelings run free, he’d probably grab Josh the minute he showed up at the door, lick his face, and hump his leg like the most out-of-control puppy that ever there was. That very unsexy image had the effect of calming Ryan a bit as he settled in to wait.

An hour later, he was no longer excited, but worried. It was nearly nine o’clock, he’d had no phone call or text from Josh, and there’d been no knock on his door. Despite himself, Ryan replayed in his head Josh’s early morning freak-out and wondered if those second thoughts had come back to get the better of Josh later in the day. Except surely he’d have the courtesy to let Ryan know he wasn’t going to come by if that was the case. Wouldn’t he?

Ryan spent an age trying to compose a text that sounded casual and information-seeking rather than desperate and needy, but he wasn’t going to send it yet. He’d wait just five more minutes. And maybe another five, just to be sure, because even if he’d got the wording right, sending a text only a little after nine o’clock might seem a bit pathetic.

He was still staring at the screen on his phone, finger hovering over the send button, when a sudden knock on the door made him jump. Opening it, he found Josh standing there, looking more than a bit frazzled. It was a testament to Ryan’s self-control that he didn’t jump Josh then and there, but he couldn’t stop the relieved and happy grin from splitting his face.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to be so long,” Josh said as he came in. “I had to schmooze the daughter of the MD of my main sponsor. She is, allegedly, a big tennis fan.”

“Allegedly?”

“The fact she doesn’t know her deuce court from her ad court makes me doubt it somehow,” Josh said, sitting down on the couch and stretching out, making himself completely at home.

Ryan leaned over to snag a juice from the minibar and pretended he didn’t know damn well that Josh was looking at his ass as he did so. “So just how much schmoozing did you two get up to?”

“I showed her my half volley.”

Ryan turned shocked, betrayed eyes on him. “You hussy!
”

“I know. I feel so dirty now.” Josh took the cold bottle of juice that Ryan was offering, twisted off the top, and took a few long swigs before sighing in satisfaction. “Oh yeah, I needed that.”

And Ryan was completely derailed from whatever the hell he’d been going to say by the sight of Josh’s lips wrapped around the top of the bottle, and then the hint of tongue flicking along those same lips to make sure he caught any stray drops.

“You…uh…yeah. Hussy,” he said.

“Yeah, I got that,” Josh said. The lightness in his voice was betrayed by the growing intensity in his eyes as he saw the way Ryan was trying not to fixate completely on his mouth but failing pretty damn hard.

Ryan wasn’t sure which of them moved first but they met somewhere in the middle, and kissing Josh was everything he remembered it being and more. His mouth opened for Ryan, and their tongues slid against one another, but without the frenzied urgency of last night. This was more about getting to know one another, what they both liked, how they liked to kiss, and
damn it
, Josh really should have put his juice down beforehand because it was tipping itself down Ryan’s back.

“Crap!” He pulled back, cold wetness soaking through his shirt.

“Sorry.” But Josh wasn’t looking anywhere near as apologetic as he should have as he put the bottle, mostly empty by now, on the table beside the couch. “Maybe you’d better take that shirt off.”

“You coulda just asked, you know,” Ryan grumbled, but it was impossible to stay mad as he saw Josh’s eyes raking over his body just before he lunged forward and pinned Ryan against the couch, hands roaming as he kissed him with absolute intent. Even as they undressed and explored each other’s bodies, Ryan’s mouth kept coming back to Josh’s, or Josh’s to Ryan’s, and they kept kissing. Ryan decided Josh’s kisses were his new drug of choice, and best of all, they wouldn’t show on any doping test. He could spend the rest of his life exploring Josh’s mouth, kissing him slow and easy, kissing him hard and demandingly, kissing him just for the pleasure of kissing him.

Though as he lay on the bed next to a breathless Josh afterward, Ryan had to admit the bit where he got to fuck Josh was pretty awesome too. Even more so this time because Josh hadn’t been quite so adamant about controlling everything, meaning Ryan had been able to find out what Josh liked, what he wasn’t so keen on, and what, apparently, sent him out of his mind.

He poked Josh in the ribs. “Thought you pro athletes were supposed to have more stamina than that.”

Josh shot him a dirty look, because it hadn’t taken more than a few long, slow thrusts from Ryan and Ryan’s hand on his cock for Josh to come. “I was pandering to your ego,” he said. “Next time I’ll make you work for it.”

Ryan hid his smile against Josh’s shoulder. There was going to be a next time.

D
ESPITE
playing his heart out, Ryan lost his match that day. He wasn’t sure which was more disappointing: getting knocked out of the tournament, or knowing that the bubble surrounding him and Josh had just been burst. He could always stay a couple of days longer, paying for his own hotel room until the end of the tournament, but that might cause questions from Stefan and others because it wasn’t his usual behavior. And he wasn’t even sure if Josh would want him to. Maybe they were just hooking up because it was convenient, though Ryan hoped it was more than that.

Back at the hotel, he waited for Josh, ordering room service for supper just to make sure he wouldn’t miss Josh’s knock at his door.

Josh finally arrived some time later and once again sat himself down on Ryan’s couch. There seemed a slight tension about him that hadn’t been there the previous night.

“Where are you playing next?” he asked, refusing Ryan’s offer of a juice with a shake of his head.

“Delray Beach.” Ryan had already checked, and Josh wasn’t playing there. Not too surprising as it was a 250 event. Josh would no doubt be saving himself for Indian Wells, with more points and more prize money to be won.

“Have you played there before?” Josh asked. On hearing that Ryan hadn’t, Josh instantly dived into a detailed explanation about the way the courts played in different weather conditions, things to look out for at the tournament hotel, and other tips which Ryan would have been really grateful for, if not for the fact he had the feeling Josh was telling him this in order to avoid talking about something else.

Eventually Josh ground to a halt, seemingly having reached the end of his, admittedly encyclopedic, knowledge of Delray Beach.

“Will I see you in Indian Wells?” Ryan asked, and mentally winced once he heard just how plaintive he sounded. It was like he was in kindergarten and the teacher had just put his best friend on the other side of the classroom.

Josh cleared his throat. “About that.”

No. Fuck no. Josh did
not
get to dump Ryan like this.

“If we’re going to do this, we should set some ground rules,” Josh continued, and Ryan blinked at him. They were going to do this? For real?

“Okay,” he said happily. Then frowned slightly, as the rest of Josh’s statement registered. “Like what?

“Like what happens when we get drawn against each other, or how we cover if anyone sees me leaving your room, or even if someone just notices we’re spending a lot of time hanging out.”

“But we don’t have to talk about that now, do we? It’s my last night, after all.” Ryan batted his eyelashes winningly.

“You got something in your eye?”

Ryan sighed. “It’s my puppy-dog face,” he explained patiently. “Apparently it’s irresistible.”

“Yeah, not so much. Looks more like you’re constipated.”

And then Josh let out a surprised “Oof” as Ryan pounced on him. “Less talking and more sex,” Ryan demanded.