The Universe is a Very Big Place (27 page)

"Why would God, the Universe and Everything want to get you?"

Spring thought for a moment. "Karma. Something I did in this lifetime or the past. I’m not sure. To be honest I only half-listen to Lanie most of the time."

"Have you considered that maybe..." John began, rising from his spot on the ground and walking across the floor to where he kept a box of Kleenex. He pulled three from the carton and handed them to Spring. She dabbed her eyes and brushed the hair out of her face. He sat himself on the floor in front of her, looking up into her tear-stained eyes. "...Maybe the Universe has other plans for you?"

"Why are you being so nice to me?" she asked, her eyes heavy from crying. "I thought you didn’t like me."

"Me? Not like you? Where did you get that idea?"

"Well. I haven’t been able to give you any money and you were teasing me about my underwear in the hallway." Her face darkened with embarrassment.

John took a sip and thought a moment. "Don’t you remember in elementary school where they tell you if a boy is mean to you it’s because he likes you?"

Spring snorted. "I was educated by an Indian lady in an RV. And I always thought boys were mean in general."

"That tells me you must have had a lot of admirers." He looked away. "I like you, Spring. From the moment you wrecked my car and threw a wad of dollars at me, I have liked you."

Spring’s brow furrowed as his words registered in her brain. "But you don’t know me."

"I know I like the way you run up and down the aisles looking for things. The way you wear those holey dresses of yours yet they still look beautiful on you. The way your barrettes hang out of your hair. The way you smile. The way you talk. The way you tilt your head when you are thinking of something. I know all that. What more is there to know?" John sat up on his knees, taking her hands and pulling them around his waist, locked in his own. Their faces were very close. His lips were inches away. His breath was on her face.
 

She closed her eyes.

He dropped her hands and stood up. "I’m sorry. I can’t do this to you right now. You are vulnerable and I won’t win that way."

"Huh?"

"I want you, Spring. But I want you on your own terms. Not because some jackass a few apartments over doesn’t have the sense to appreciate you. Or because you wanna get revenge on your little gay boyfriend. I want you because you want me."

Spring shook her head. "I think I’m going to get sick again." She stood up, turning in circles, looking for a door. "Where is your bathroom?"

John walked to a door, opened it, and turned on the light.

"I’m sorry. I really am." Spring tottered towards the restroom, one hand clutching her head, the other holding on to her stomach. She shut the door behind her. "I haven’t been sick this often since I was pregnant with the twins," she said, emerging from the bathroom, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"You sure you aren’t?" he said.

"That would require sex, something I don’t have." She laughed. "I need to go now. Thank you for the use of your bathroom."

He should have been a gentleman and escorted her out. Instead, he waited by the window for her to emerge from the building. She stumbled to her car, opened the door, lay her head on the steering wheel for a moment, before trying her luck with the engine. It started right up. She drove away. Maybe forever.

John took out his paints. One thing about being unemployed, he had time to practice his craft. He wanted to paint a picture of Spring, but he couldn’t bring himself to paint her crying. Instead, he painted her smiling, happy, and in love. The way she should be.

Twenty-One

Spring was relieved to see that Sam’s car was not in the driveway when she returned home. She entered quietly, hoping to steer clear of Lanie, but there was no reprieve. Spring opened the door to find her mother and Bob engaged in some elaborate dance sequence. When Lanie leaned back, Bob leaned in, and then they switched.

"Hi, Spring," Lanie called in-between gyrations. "Okay, Bob, now shimmy..." Lanie shook her body and the top half moved in one direction, while the bottom half moved in the other. Bob tried to emulate her and ended up looking like a Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot.

"He’s a great dancer,” said Lanie and Bob beamed. His bow tie dangled from his collar and Spring tried not to think about how it got that way. "And he introduced me to something called Nine Inch Nails. Ever hear of them? Bob is taking me moshing next week. Sing one of their songs for Spring, won’t you Bob?"

Spring tried to ignore Bob’s yodeling and she made her way towards her bedroom.

"Sam’s fit to be tied," Lanie called after, and Spring froze in place.

"Oh? Why is that?"

"I don’t know. He was running around the house looking for the credit card and talking about the sins of Eve and then he left."

"Anything happen while I was gone. Besides you two?"

"Oh no. Bob just got here. Looked like Sam had the hemorrhoids to me. That’s the way your father used to look when he got a swell up. I made him up some salve but he hasn’t gotten home to give it to him yet. It’s on the counter." Spring picked up a jar labeled Hemorrhoidal Helper. "Confidentially," said Lanie. "I’d watch out, Spring. That little man of yours is losing his grip on reality."

"What? Why?"

"If you ask me," said Bob, still gazing at Lanie. "He senses another rooster in the chicken coop. You never know what a man is capable of, if his territory is threatened." Bob’s eyes gleamed and Lanie giggled.

As if Sam had been waiting for this introduction, the front door flew open and Sam’s red face appeared.
 

"Well, hello, Spring. Nice of you to come home. Anything interesting happen today?" He was advancing toward her, his head poised in ram position, his hands clasped behind his back, a bag marked Discovery Store dangling from his fingers.

Lanie and Bob paused to watch, looking uncertain about what they should do.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, I think you know what I’m talking about."

"Spring?" Lanie was puffing up, and Spring knew her mother would step in if given the word.

"I’m alright, Mom. Why don’t you go over to Bob’s for a while?"

Lanie and Bob exchanged glances. Bob took Lanie’s hand and gave it a delicate squeeze. "Perhaps we’d better go. I will make you some iced tea." Lanie gave Spring a worried look, but followed Bob out the back door towards the back gate.

Spring’s heart thumped wildly inside her chest.
He knows about Trevor.

"
I followed you today. I saw you at that boy’s apartment," Sam said. He continued to advance and Spring backed up against the counter. When he reached her he tossed a business card on the counter; the one John had left with his address.

"I don’t know what you are talking about."

"Oh really? The boy who was here the other night to return
your lost earring.
Did you lose it in his couch cushion?"

Spring gulped.
"
John? You saw me with John?"

"Yes, my dear. I did. Now come clean and I might take it easy on you. Lie to me and you’ll be sorry."

"I wasn’t with John."

"I knew you’d say that. That is why I brought this!" Sam reached into the sack and produced a box labeled
Amateur Lie Detector Test.
"Now, sit down."

"You want to administer a lie detector test on me?"

"You have two choices. Take it. Or we are through."

Spring sat down obediently, her knees shaking as he hooked up wires to her arms and head. She didn’t know why she was acquiescing like this. Why she was letting him lead this and have his way?

"Okay, three questions. Answer these three and I will leave you alone. Deal?"

Spring nodded, the wire near her eye pushing into her skull.

"First, we have to do a couple of test questions to determine the accuracy of your statements. These do not count towards your three. Is your name Spring Rainbow Ryan?" Spring nodded that yes, it was, but he gave her a look that let her know she needed to speak the answer. "Yes. My name is Spring Rainbow Ryan."
 

Sam looked to see how the machine measured that response and was satisfied with the answer.

"Do you have twin daughters?" Sam looked at her impatiently, wanting to hurry the preliminary questions along in order to get to the real ones.

"No. I do not have twin
daughters.
" Spring emphasized the word daughters and Sam nodded.

"Good. This thing works. You pay a little more for quality. Okay let’s make this official. Here we go. First question. Did you see John Smith today?"

Spring took a deep breath and looked at Sam. "Yes, I saw John today."

The bars on the detector moved and Sam nodded. "At least I know you aren’t a complete liar. Next question-did you have sex with John Smith today?"

Spring shook her head at him. "No. No, Sam, I didn’t. I promise!"

Sam scratched his head as he looked at the test. "Fine. Even if I know the true nature of woman you can’t argue with science. Last question: did you kiss John Smith today?"

Spring wanted to fling the test at his potato head, but she calmed herself. She didn’t want a false reading just because she was angry. "No. I did not kiss him. We talked. That’s it. Happy now?" The lie detector confirmed that Spring was telling the truth.

Sam slumped into his chair, looking mystified. "Did you..."

"You asked three, that’s all you get." Spring removed the wires from her body and threw them onto the table.

Sam was stumped. For a moment, Spring thought of confessing everything to him. Her shameless chase of a man she had loved years ago, but who no longer wanted her. But what was the use? The Universe, which was supposed to have given her at least one true love, had really given her none at all. The feeling settled over her like a soggy blanket on a damp night. She had been a fool to have believed that love, real love, existed anywhere other than fairy tales and romance novels. Heroes don’t really come dashing in to save you at the last moment. Not when there were beers to drink and internet porn to surf.
 

She looked at Sam again and wondered what it would be like to spend her life with him. Certainly not glamorous or even romantic. But practical.

Sam smiled weakly, apologetically. "Sweetie," he said. "Then why did you go over to John Smith’s apartment?" His eyes were large and hopeful. He was begging for a reason that made sense. Any reason and he would let it go.

"He left something here. I returned it."

Sam nodded. She was feeling guilty about her deceptions and knew he didn’t believe her, but he would accept it. For now.

"I love you, Pooks," he said, hugging her to his side.

"Do you?" she asked, the question genuine.

"Of course I do. I may not love everything you do or wear or say, but I love you. Fundamentally. And isn’t that the most important part?"

Spring nodded and let her chin settle into his bony collarbone.