The rest of the conversation is a mix
of
squeals
and plans
for the next year. After a bumpy senior year, I’m glad there’s
finally a bright spot.
End of High
School
S
o much
excitement has filled these last two months. I’m glad that my
senior year ended on such a high note.
I called it quits with Scott last week.
He didn’t look like he was very surprised. We promised to keep in
touch but aside from a few social media sites, I’m sure there won’t
be much else. I gave him my “v-
card
” at prom. It was disappointing. I mean, really
people? All that sex hype is a load of crap, especially the first
time. I wasn’t stupid, I knew it wasn’t going to be rainbows and
butterflies, but I was expecting more than five minutes of sweating
and grunting on top of me before he rolled over and fell asleep.
Not even a thank you for enduring the pain of it.
Yes, pain. Losing your virginity hurts like a
bitch. I don’t think I’ll be sleeping with anyone else anytime
soon.
Graduation was a rewarding experience. It was
extremely surreal; I don’t know if that moment will ever seem real
to me.
I was looking forward to the sleepover with
Sara and Emma. Time was running out for us, Sara and I were moving
hundreds of miles away while Emma stayed here to go to UCLA. Our
group was separating after years of being inseparable. Emma still
hadn’t been herself since the Winter Formal, but I figured it was
because she was still taking the breakup with Nick hard. But why
wouldn’t she just tell me that? And why did she always seem like
she was hiding something from me?
Emma even went as far as to hinting that she
wouldn’t be able to do the sleepover this year. Sara and I quickly
talked her out of that thought, playing a guilt trip on her about
this being our last one. She reluctantly agreed.
After saying goodbye to everyone from our
graduating class and making promises to see everyone before we
leave, we made our way to my house for our annual end of the school
year sleepover.
Every year since we were in third grade,
we’ve had an end of the year sleepover. Normally, it alternates
between our houses. This year was Sara’s year, but for obvious
reasons, we skipped that selection, and my parents suggested we
host it this year.
As soon as we get the house, we change into
our pajamas and look through our movie selection. I’m looking at
the movie shelf in my room while Emma is sitting on my bed and Sara
is in the bathroom changing. I want to put on the latest vampire
flick, but I know Sara will smother me in my sleep if I do so I
keep looking.
Emma clears her throat. “Mel, I just want you
to know that I’m sorry if I’ve been distant lately. It hasn’t been
intentional, I just haven’t been myself lately.”
I pause from looking at the movies and
turn toward Emma. I knew I hadn’t
imagined
things.
“
It’s okay, Em. You were going through
a tough breakup with Nick at the time. I just hadn’t realized you
were so crushed
over
him,” I say apologetically.
Emma starts playing with the hem of her shirt
nervously. “It’s more than that actually. I want to tell you, but
I’m afraid of how you will react. I can’t handle losing you, Mel.
You’re my best friend.” A tear drops from Emma’s eye and slides
halfway down her cheek before she wipes it away.
I can see on her face that whatever it is
that’s been bothering her all these months has really taken a toll
on her.
I walk over to the bed and sit next to her. I
wrap my arms around her shoulders and pull her to me in a tight
embrace. “Emma, no matter what, we will get through this. I
promise. I’ve missed us, and I just want things to go back to
normal. You can tell me.”
Emma nods her head on my shoulder. She backs
away but grabs my hands as she prepares to tell me what’s been
bothering her.
“
Mel, I’ve been—”
The door bursts open as Sara struts in with
her toiletries in hand. When she sees the looks on Emma’s and my
face, she freezes.
“
What’d I just walk in on?” she says
utterly confused.
I’m not sure if it’s the look on her face or
the way she asks that question, but I burst out laughing. Emma
joins in, but apparently, it tickled me more than it had her.
“
Nothin’ Sara, we were only talking.” I
smile. “Hey, I picked out a movie. I think I want to watch
Twi
—”
“
Don’t say it, Melody. I swear on my
left tit that you will regret finishing that sentence.”
Emma finally loses it with that. We all fall
into a fit of giggles and so begins our sleepover.
We settle on a corny romance.
Even
though
I like
it, I’m not sure how it was better than the movie I had picked
out.
When there are only a few minutes left in the
movie, the sound of a soft knock on my door gets my attention.
My dad peeks his head through. “Hey girls, I
just wanted to say goodnight.” His eyes scan the room and pause on
Emma. I look behind me, and she’s staring at her hands that are in
her lap while she’s biting her lip. The warning bells in my head
are going off but yet again, I ignore them.
I turn my attention back to my dad. “Thanks,
Dad. Goodnight.”
A few minutes later as the credits are
rolling, Emma says she’s going to go downstairs for a glass of
water. Shortly after she leaves the room, I remember that we’re out
of popcorn so I go back downstairs to load up.
I’m cradling the glass bowl in my hands
as I walk into the kitchen. What I see when I turn the corner
causes the bowl to slip from my
hands.
My dad and Emma are holding each other in a
passionate embrace. Arms wrapped around each other, mouths fused
together, not an inch separating them. Not even a centimeter.
There’s no denying what’s in front of me.
The second the glass bowl collides with the
floor and shatters into a thousand pieces, they jump apart,
startled by the disruption.
Tears pool in my eyes, and I’m
completely speechless. All I
know
at
that moment is that I need to get away. Far, far
away.
“
Mel, I was going to tell you—” Emma
tries talking to me, but I start running to the door before she has
a chance to justify her betrayal.
The moment I’m out of the house, I continue
running. I don’t know where, just away.
Although I’m still in denial, the more
rational part of me is starting to put the pieces together. All of
Emma’s guilty looks, the distance she’s put in our friendship.
Shit. That day when I went to my dad’s
office, I’d bet money that was Emma with him and not my mom.
My hurt has quickly turned into anger.
Blood-boiling-seeing-red kind of anger.
I start making my trek back to the
house. I
didn’t
realize how far I had gone, or the length of time I had been
running down the street.
By the time I get back to the house, there’s
a police car out front. Lovely. I later found out that my parents
were worried about my sudden disappearance and called the cops to
locate me; they were in the middle of asking questions and not
searching yet.
I push the front door open, letting it
slam into the wall behind it. I hear high voices coming from the
living room, and my mother’s worried voice pierces my heart. I
hadn’t even thought about what this will do to her, but she needs
to know. I can’t
not
tell
her.
There are two police officers questioning my
parents on one couch while Sara is comforting Emma on the
other.
That is the image that sets me off.
“
Sara, do
not
touch that lying bitch.” Sara’s face goes
pale white at my words. I’ve never lashed out at my friends. We’ve
been in disagreements before, but we never once started with the
name-calling. We’d jokingly call each other names but never in an
angry manner.
Emma starts crying even more and stands up to
walk toward me. “Mel, we didn’t mean for it to happen.” With every
word she speaks and every step she takes closer to me, I’m that
much closer to losing my shit even more than I already have.
“
What’s going on, Melody?” My mom
breaks into my rage. I don’t know that I have the power to tell her
what she needs to know.
“
Ask
them
,” I spit out.
At this, my dad steps forward. “We were
going to tell you this weekend. We didn’t plan for this to happen,
it just
happ
—”
“
That’s no excuse! These things don’t
just happen! You were kissing her, Dad. What else have you done
that we don’t know about? She’s been my best friend since
elementary school. Do you have any idea how fucking sick this is?!”
At this point, I’m surprised my head hasn’t blown off. I’ve never
felt rage before. I don’t like it, and I hope to never experience
this again. I have a feeling it won’t leave me anytime
soon.
My mom’s hands fly to her mouth in shock.
“Charlie… you didn’t. Tell me you didn’t.” Her voice trembles. It’s
obvious that she’s moments away from breaking apart.
My dad slowly steps in my mom’s direction.
“Anne, I can’t explain it. I fought it, I swear I did—”
“
We love each other,” Emma blurts from
in front of me.
Suddenly, a crackling sound travels across
the room. It takes a moment for my mind to catch up with my hand
that just made contact with Emma’s face.
Once again, I lose it.
I’m grabbing at her hair and pushing her to
the floor, wildly swinging my arms. Someone grabs me by the waist,
but I don’t stop. I’m a woman gone mad. The bitch ruined my family,
and I won’t stop until she’s bleeding on the floor. Even then, I
can’t make any guarantees.
Dramatic? Well, you have your best friend
sleep with your dad and tell me it wasn’t justified.
During the entire ordeal, Emma doesn’t fight
back. She crumpled to the floor like the coward she is.
“
Ma’am, I need you to calm down or I
will have no choice but to put handcuffs on you,” the deep male
voice informs me.
Crap
, I
completely forgot the police were here.
“
I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen
again,” I reply out of breath. The officer slowly lets go of his
hold on me.
I take in my surroundings. My mother has
collapsed into a pile of tears on the couch, and my dad is still
trying to explain his side to her. Sara is standing over Emma with
a complete look of disgust on her face.
“
Mommy?” A small voice comes from the
hallway.
Luke.
Another piece of my heart breaks as I realize
what my baby brother is walking in on.
At the sight of Luke, my mom crumbles a
little bit more. I take it upon myself to explain things to
Luke.
“
Lucas, everything is okay. The nice
police officers came to, um, say hi.” I kneel down in front of him
so that I’m at eye level. I hope he buys my lame
excuse,
but the question in his eyes
tell a different story.
“
Why is mom crying?” he asks concerned
while trying to peek around me.
“
Luke, why don’t you go back to bed,
and we’ll talk about it in the morning, okay? Everything is all
right, I promise.” I give him a reassuring smile.
He nods his head and goes back up the stairs
to his room.
The officers have helped Emma off the floor,
and everyone is now occupying the couches while the officers are
standing. They come over to me and ask a few questions. After
answering all of them, the officers warn me not to attack Emma
again and then leave.
Of course, I told them I wouldn’t, but I
can’t make any promises.
My dad lifts my mom off the couch and
walks her to their room. I want to follow and protect my mom. I
know my dad would never hurt her physically, but he’s done so much
emotional damage this evening that I’m
worried about
her.
Sara comes up to my side and wraps me in her
arms. “Mel, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“
You couldn’t have known, Sar. None of
us did.”
“
Mel, I’m so sorry. This wasn’t
supposed to happen.” Emma is desperately trying to fix things, but
she needs to know that will never happen.
“
You don’t get it, do you? You can’t go
around secretly betraying people, doing whatever you want, and
expect for there not to be consequences. You just ruined a family.
You ruined
my
family, Emma.
There’s no coming back from this; there is no forgiveness. From
this day forward, I won’t speak to you, I won’t be your friend, and
I won’t be your shoulder to lean on. I’m done.
We
are done.”
New Beginnings
I
’ve spent too
many of my days as of late absolutely miserable. Now is the time to
shake it off and start anew.
Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done.
My heart is broken. I lost my dad and one of my best friends in one
swoop.
My mom has become more herself. Rather than
locking herself in her room, she avoids the whole situation. She
spends her days working or looking for places to live in Vacaville.
I start school in a month, and it can’t come quick enough.