Authors: Ruth J. Hartman
“
Of sorts.”
“
I don’t follow.”
“
I sent him a note inviting him to a small gathering.”
“
Go on.”
“
He accepted and arrived right on time.”
Lucy tapped her finger on her knee. “Surely there is more to the story than that.”
“
I neglected to mention in the invitation that the gathering was for a party of… two.”
“
You didn’t!”
“
I’m afraid I did.” Heat filled her face and spread down her neck.
“
Amelia. How brave of you.”
“
You think so?”
“
Absolutely. I’m not sure I would have had the nerve to do the same with Oliver.”
“
It didn’t feel brave at the time. I was terrified. Afraid he wouldn’t accept the invitation, but also afraid that he
would
.”
“
Truly?”
“
Yes, I was so nervous. And then when he arrived, I wasn’t sure I could go through with…”
Lucy leaned close and lowered her voice. “Amelia… did you… were you trying to seduce him?”
She tried to respond but no words came. Instead she nodded. How terrible it sounded when spoken out loud by Lucy.
“
Don’t be ashamed, Amelia.”
“
Oh but I am.”
“
You shouldn’t be, though.”
“
Why shouldn’t I?”
Lucy’s lips curved in a smile. “I’m a firm believer that if you love someone, sometimes it’s necessary to go to extreme means to be with that person.”
“
Is that what happened with you?”
“
My father had forbidden me to see Oliver anymore. He was under the impression that Oliver was a groundskeeper here at the Sanctuary. Which is what he led all of us to believe.”
“
He did? Why?”
“
Oliver wanted to make sure that I loved him for
him
and not for his wealth. So he let everyone believe that his work at the Sanctuary wasn’t volunteer but was his livelihood.”
“
And that’s how he found out your true feelings.”
“
Yes. And that’s what I meant by going to extreme measures. I’d already decided that if Oliver asked me to run off to Gretna Green and get married, I would. Even though I thought we’d be dirt poor. Sometimes taking a risk is the only way to satisfy your heart.”
“
Now I see. And thank you. I don’t feel quite so…”
“
What?”
“
Wanton.” She covered her mouth with her hand.
Lucy did the same, but her laugh escaped around her fingers. Soon, Amelia laughed along with her.
“
You must have done it correctly, Amelia, if you’re
already
betrothed.”
“
Yes. I suppose.” She longed to tell Lucy about what she’d done. Not that she was proud of it, but to unburden herself. In order to do that, however, she’d have to divulge Conrad’s secret and she wouldn’t do that. Not without his permission, anyway. Time to get the focus off her. “Tell me Lucy, is there anything new in your life?”
Amelia had meant it as a diversion, thinking perhaps they’d discuss their drawings or something else. Anything. It didn’t matter as long as the subject was changed.
But Lucy’s eyes misted.
“
Oh dear… What have I said? Lucy, are you all right?”
“
I couldn’t be better.”
“
Then why are you crying?”
Lucy dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. “Don’t many women cry when they are going to be…?” She looked directly at Amelia. “Mothers?”
Amelia gasped and hugged Lucy tight. “How wonderful! I’m truly happy for you.”
“
Thank you. I still can’t believe it’s real.”
“
Are you excited?”
“
That, and also a little frightened.”
“
I suppose the unknown is always somewhat daunting.”
“
There is that, yes.”
“
And Oliver? Is he…?”
“
He’s thrilled. Which makes my joy all the more complete.”
Will it ever happen for me?
Would she someday be a mother? Conrad didn’t love her, of course. And why would he, when the marriage was starting out under such nefarious conditions?
Something nudged her hand. She glanced down to see Lucy’s covering hers. “It will happen for you, too, Amelia. I just know it.”
“
I truly hope you’re right.”
“
You love Conrad, don’t you?”
In her heart she knew it to be true. “Yes. I imagine you find that strange, though, after your unpleasant experiences with him.”
“
You know, it’s funny you should say that. The other day I went into Oliver’s study and he was there.”
“
Who was there?”
“
Conrad.”
“
He was?”
“
I was as surprised as anyone. He… he seems to have changed.”
“
For the good?”
“
Yes, I believe he has. I never would have believed it before, but…”
“
But what?”
“
Perhaps he has softened due to his new relationship with you.”
It was too much to hope for. Too much to dream. And yet… “Oh how I wish it to be true.”
“
As I said, I was surprised, as was Oliver. At first, I was skeptical. But Oliver is not so easily duped. If he said he’s seen a change in Conrad, then I believe him.”
Hope, new and fresh, unfolded in Amelia’s heart. Was Conrad changing for the better? If that were true, perhaps there was chance for them. A chance for love.
Conrad pulled his
carriage as close as he could to Amelia’s house. Since he didn’t know how long his visit with Amelia would be, he’d given his driver the afternoon off. The poor man had nearly fainted from shock.
A smile crept across Conrad’s mouth. There would be many more reactions like that he was sure. A determination had overtaken him, one that would divert his former negative traits and channel them into a kinder, more thoughtful man.
Could he do it? His bad habits and nastiness had festered for nearly thirty years. And his mother had cheered those habits on every step of the way. Why was she bent on her son being disagreeable? Disliked?
Now that he’d apologized to Oliver and Lucy, floodgates of regret had poured over him, reminding him of all the people he’d been condescending and rude to his whole life. He was so thankful that they had accepted his heartfelt words of remorse. Ever since their conversation, Conrad had experienced a lightness of step and heart that was completely foreign.
But it felt oh so wonderful.
His thoughts flitted to Amelia. Not only did spending time with her gladden his heart, but something stirred deep within him when they were together. A physical response, yes, but was that simply because he was a lonely man and she a beautiful woman?
Or was it more? Conrad had never been in love before. Never even thought it was possible. But something about Amelia drew him as ocean waves to the shore. When she was near, he couldn’t seem to look away. When she wasn’t present, she haunted his thoughts night and day.
He jumped when the door opened. Had he been so lost in thought that he’d knocked without realizing it?
“
Good day, Lord Lofton.”
Conrad nodded to the butler. “Good day. Miss Talbot is expecting me.”
“
Very good, my lord.” The butler stepped aside to permit Conrad entrance. “I’ll announce your arrival.”
“
Thank you.” Saying those words still felt strange on his tongue, yet with each successive instance, it became easier.
Conrad waited in the parlor for Amelia. Even though he was trying to change, he still fervently hoped that they could spend the afternoon indoors. What would happen after they married? Amelia loved the out-of-doors as much as Conrad abhorred it. Time would tell.
“
Good day, Conrad.”
Amelia stood in the doorway. Her light blue dress caressed her curves in a tight embrace. Conrad’s mouth went dry. Good heavens. Every time he saw Amelia, her beauty increased. How was that possible?
She stepped forward and her eyebrows rose.
He realized then that he’d not responded.
I must look like an imbecile
. “Ah… good day, Amelia.”
“
I’m so pleased you could visit me today.”
“
Oh?”
“
There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”
He’d already met her father and mother. Did she perhaps have a sister? “Certainly. Will she be meeting us in the parlor?”
Amelia giggled. “No. And it’s a
he
.”
So it was a brother, then. “I see.” Although he didn’t. Wouldn’t she have mentioned a brother before now? He’d always been of the assumption that she was an only child, as he was.
“
He’s waiting in the garden for us.”
The garden? But that was outside. Conrad sighed. “Of course. Let’s go meet him.” How did Amelia have the ability to simply mention participating in outdoor activity and although he was unwilling, he went along anyway?
Amelia wrapped her arm around his. “Yes. He loves it there. Often when I can’t locate him, that’s where he’s hiding.”
Hiding?
How old was her brother? A toddler? Surely not. Mr. and Mrs. Talbot seemed to be of similar age to his mother.
They stepped through the library to a set of French doors. A servant opened the doors for them. Conrad nodded his thanks.
Bright sunlight blazed through long tree branches. He squinted.
“
Isn’t the day lovely?” Amelia closed her eyes and smiled. Conrad’s urge to kiss her full lips right at that moment nearly overtook him,
No. I must be a gentleman. Time for that later. That and so much more
. Heat pooled in his belly. Thoughts of pulling her close, breathing in her lavender scent and running his finger down her soft, white neck—
“
Is something amiss?”
“
Ah…” He had to stop daydreaming about her. It only caused him embarrassment. He had enough of that to last a lifetime without creating more. “Everything is fine.”
“
I’m glad.” She pressed closer to him, her arm still around his. Something brushed his upper arm. Was that her—?
“
Let’s walk down into the garden a ways. His favorite spot is a bench near that far corner.”
Desire shot through him. Why did the woman affect him so? He’d never experienced the like. All she had to do was lean close or bat her long eyelashes or smile…
Amelia glanced up at him as if she’d heard his thoughts. “You’re certainly quiet today.”
He’d done it again. Time to regain control of his wayward thoughts. “I’m not often chatty, as you’ll soon discover.”
She laughed. “Not to worry. I’ll chat enough for us both.”
Conrad raised his mouth in a smile. That in itself was something, considering he smiled rarely. Yet in her company, he found himself quite
wanting
to.
Small songbirds of some sort darted in front of them. Conrad’s smile vanished. Birds. Why was it always
birds
?
“
Sparrows. Aren’t they precious?”
More like repugnant
. “Yes. Quite.”
They walked farther down the path, through row after row of colorful flowers. He recognized some roses, but knew nothing of any of the others. He’d bet Amelia knew them all since she seemed fond of spending time outside.
There it was again. A difference between them. She loved everything to do with nature. He abhorred it just as vehemently. How would they get around it? He could think of no reason they needed to, of course, since couples often didn’t even spend much time together. But that’s not what he wanted. No. Conrad wished to spend much time with her, now and after they married. It was as if he craved the very air she breathed.
He shook his head. Silly thought, that. Some of the ideas popping into his head lately were preposterous. What would Mother say?
With a glance at Amelia, he realized that he no longer cared. Mother could jump in a pond.
Pond. Geese. Amelia. Her lying beneath him on the muddy bank.
Until that pesky maid—
“
There you are, Miss Amelia. You’d quite gotten away from me.” And there she was. Annie, was it? Practically running to catch them.
Amelia sighed.
Conrad couldn’t help but notice the rise and fall of her bosom as she took a breath and released it. Her gown molded around her—
“
Something the matter, Conrad?”
Blast!
“I… well you see…”
Her smile said it all. That she’d noticed what he’d done and that she enjoyed catching him at it. The little minx.
Annie reached them. “Must I remind you, Miss Amelia, that you need a chaperone whenever you are in the company of—” Her gaze darted to Conrad. “—men?”
“
Annie, as you can see, I am not with men. But a man. Lord Lofton.”
“
Be that as it may, Miss Amelia, your father has instructed me—”
“
Father can just go and…” The rest came out a mumble, but Conrad could have sworn he heard something of a not-so-kind nature. Amelia had spunk. He liked that. Made him want to tame her.
Tame her? His thoughts became more bizarre as the moments progressed. He reached to his cravat and gave it a tug. “Is it warm today?”
Amelia raised one eyebrow. “Not especially, no. I experienced a chill. Perhaps we should stand closer together.”
Any closer and she’d be affixed to his person. Although…
“
Look, there he is.”
There
who
was? He glanced to where she pointed but he saw no one. Not only were his thoughts darting about his mind at a mad pace, his eyes were having sport with him as well.