The Unwritten Rule (7 page)

“I see as I can … I really do not want to get involved, Brianna.

SCOTT ELIZABETH THE UNWRITTEN RULE

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- Involved? Come on, Sarah. You just have to find out if you are upset with me. You ask a question, and you’ve done before. In addition, he was not against you. “He was not against you, either. He only came to take a breather, and maybe you should go out and … I stopped when pressed closer Brianna arms around him, not to reveal her breasts as before, but because it is really annoying. “No I told you all about last night,” he says. I asked … I asked Greg if he wanted to date me. I wanted to prove that I can kiss another and it would be like to kiss Ryan. But it would not. I keep thinking about what he would do if he saw me, and it would be as if you were with another guy. I can not even … I can not even imagine being angry or something. I can only see him leaving, she stops and looks at me. I could not stand. And I regret having said what I said about you and your shoes. You’re not angry with me right? “Just …” I say hurt, and Brianna looks at me, surprised. “Oh,” she says after a moment, his voice low. I did not … when I say things like that, do not mean to sound bad. You know, right? I mean, I love you. You know that too right? Seat, because I know, and Brianna smiles and stands up, tapping his knee when I’m not. “Come on, she says, happy again. Talk to Ryan. Prepare some food for him. And for us too, of course. I’m looking at her, jealous, annoying me with myself for it and she bites her lip. “Really sorry. I’m a horrible person. You should not go out with me, and now you know why my parents never want to be around me. His voice breaks on the last words, and I know exactly why Brianna is as it is, why it is so quick to say words that hurt more than she thinks. I know why they are so afraid of being left behind. Because it has happened. “Your parents suck. Too “I say. And I wanted to be with you since we were in kindergarten.

- Really?

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Seat. “Thank you” she whispers, hugging, and then I left and I pushed the back door, we walked together toward the door without going through it. “Look,” she says. Is not that cute? I look at him. He is standing outside, just a few steps from the patio of Brianna, with his head down, his eyes closed. It looks tired and sad and I want to hug him and tell him everything will be fine. “He’s fine,” I say, and Brianna laughs and opens the door, pushing through it smoothly. Ryan pushing me. He turns around as I do, and took a step toward him. Brianna hear humming, happy as he closes the door, and I want to turn around and go through it and ask him to leave me there. But I really want to stay here was a bit more.

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TRANSLATED BY: dani.shawn CORRECTED BY: Alice_vampire

yan? “I said, hoping that my body does not tremble in this way just to say his name.

“Hey,” he said, half turning towards me, the light that was supposed to shine on the back garden and exposed to potential thieves or grass or whatever was there just for him now, just shining on him, and he is gorgeous, and kissed him. I kissed him, and he kissed me, he should have touched your hair, you should have memorized the feel of his mouth, should have done more than just think-if, that is, if this is what I’ve been waiting, this is how he to be. ” “Brianna is very concerned,” I said, but the words came too fast, as if by not fast enough to move them out of my mouth would think. Stop loving “, she really likes you, and now my voice was cracking but I was not sad, I’m not. I forced myself to smile broadly, extending my mouth, she even make you something to eat. She has never done that for another boy. He looked at me, and I wondered if he could look inside my head, if I could see the words that I had not said out loud, and I would not dare say. - Are you all right? “He said, still looking, I felt my smile slide, fade, and the silence that fell upon us was so full I could not hear anything, the whistle of my heart beating in my chest, or the sounds around us, insects, wind, and other distant thunder in the lives of others in houses built near but not too much because when you look out the window all you see is what we intend to be ours.

- R

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But Ryan is not mine. “I’m fine” I said. I looked over my shoulder, I caught a view of the kitchen Brianna moving with fluid grace even when doing something as ordinary as popcorn. She put extra butter just because I knew that I liked, I knew that about her just as she had chickenpox when she was four and had a scar on her right ankle because of that, the only place that had marked His mother said he had been wrong for doing that and did mourn. “I’m fine” I said again, this time when I looked Ryan I forced myself to watch it with Brianna the first time, that first night at the party at the end of summer, and then all the moments that came after the school, weeks of them together. Weeks. He did it because I had to see what was real. “You should come and talk to her,” I said. I’ll give you five minutes of privacy and then go into, grabbed my things and go. He looked down. - Are you? “He cleared his throat. “I can ask you something? Yes. No. Yes. Inner edges, I forced myself to shrug, say-clear ? without words because right now I could not manage any. “I … Sarah-he said, going a step. My fingers are shrunk inside the shoes, waiting. Waiting for whatever was to come. I just … I have to know something. Remember … you remember the party before school started? Were you in the studio and I walked and talked? I nodded. I saw his chest work, pale skin caught in the glow of light over darkness fell. “I really wanted to keep talking,” he said. The words came in a whisper, and when I called home the next day, I called Brianna, Sarah. I wanted to talk to you. - Me? - Me? “Yes,” he said, his voice was rough, intense, and we were close enough to touch us, but we were not, were not.

But I could feel everything around us. With every breath I took was the promise of her skin touching mine, and I wanted that.

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Wanted we kissed again, wanted him to kiss me, I loved him. I want it, and he is looking at how I looked last night. He is looking at me as if to kiss me. -Ryan “I said, sounding like a plea. I was afraid of this, he, me, on me and him, but not enough, not as it should. Then his head down towards mine and I came up in my feet, wanting to find it, and then … And then the mother of Brianna cried: - “Who the hell you parked your car in my garage?!

SCOTT ELIZABETH THE UNWRITTEN RULE

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TRANSLATED BY: nice! ? Edited by: Sera

Brianna’s mother in the kitchen is still yelling at Brianna, who is staring at a bowl of popcorn was dropped. Ryan and I had just come into the house, the time between us stopped, both flash and turned to the door at the same time. Both tense with the sound of the voice of the mother of Brianna. - Why park in the garage? “Brianna’s mother tells him. You know you should not. “You said you were working late and I …” Oh, so when I’m trying to keep, can not you bother to climb the front steps? “Sorry, Mom,” Brianna said, stooping to pick up the popcorn scattered and broken cup that once held. - What are you eating now? Brianna, darling, you should not eat after four. Go directly to your hips. Trust me, I know. “Mama,” Brianna said, without anger, only sadly. I have … Ryan is here. And Sarah. Can we talk about this later? “Oh,” said Brianna’s mother. Of course, I’m annoying. Well, do not worry about me. No need to eat or sit and rest or anything. Brianna I have to reach before it gets worse, I have to stop this, so I stepped into the kitchen and say, “Hey, Brianna, was talking with Ryan and … oh, you made popcorn. Thanks!

Miro Brianna’s mom and I force myself to smile when I really just wanted to kick for being so abominable. “I feel so hungry at times, and Brianna said he would not mess up anything in the kitchen because you might want something when I got home, but I begged until he did.

L

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“Well, now there is no food,” said his mother. Brianna made a mess. “It’s not so bad,” said Ryan, also entering the kitchen, and looking at the floor. You should see some of the things I’ve been dropped in the kitchen. “Oh, hello,” said Brianna’s mother, smiling at Ryan, fluttering eyelashes, and saw the face of Brianna. I just wanted to say it’s a mess to clean spilled food. I’m sure would have liked to have guys that looked like you when I was in school. Not so long ago, you know. Brianna put their eyes at that, and Ryan smiled tightly to her mother. I kneel and start to pick up some popcorn and pieces of the bowl. Brianna crouches beside me, his hands shaking as you do it. “I’m exhausted,” says his mother. I’m going to bed, Brianna do not be noisy. “No, I will be,” said Brianna, and we three clean quietly. “You should go,” said Brianna when we finished, and Ryan says: - You’re sure you’ll be alright? Brianna nods and kisses him. My stomach twisted and I hate myself for that. Ryan check out me and I look away, pretending I’m still looking at the ground lost bits of popcorn or bowl. When he’s gone, Brianna comes and stays with me. Crying, biting his lip to make no noise, hard hug, wishing I could do that Brianna’s mom to see what it does to her daughter. Knowing that if I did, I do not do differently. Brianna does not want to spend the night at my house, and I leave a few minutes later, telling her to call me if you need anything. I hug my parents when I get home. “I love you” I said. “Well, of course you do, we are very adorable,” says Dad, winks, smiles and Mom says: - Henry! “And then. Sarah, darling, is everything okay?

I nodded. He was not, but looking at them reminds me that in relation to parents, I have luck.

SCOTT ELIZABETH THE UNWRITTEN RULE

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TRANSLATED BY: Rozebell and Silvery CORRECTED BY: Sera

Sunday morning you are always a great event in my house. First, my mother wakes up, then go to church. A mom likes to go early to the service because … well, just likes the morning, period. I’m usually too sleepy to do anything, except not fall asleep, but now I can not stop thinking about last night. About how it looked Brianna when her mother was talking, tired, sad and defeated, in a way that Brianna looks only at home. I should have said something more, something that would make his mother to be nicer. … Maybe I should have anything that might have said Brianna’s mother would have cared, even being heard … but could have done more. Could have done to come to Brianna to spend the night with me. He could have called when I got home and double-check to make sure I was okay. Could stop loving her boyfriend. I could stop thinking about Ryan telling me that it was me who had called that first time he and Brianna talked by telephone. At home after church, I need a break from myself and my thoughts. I wore my favorite jeans and one of the old lawyer dad shirts, dark blue cotton is soft against my skin hangs loose enough for what comes next, which is the Sunday breakfast, and Mom preferred cooking.

Mom loves to cook, but Sunday morning it pulls all high, because Dad’s favorite meal is a great breakfast and once a week-mom likes to please. ? Frankly, sometimes I wonder how he survives without a mother. I know he did, she was not even born until he was older than I am now, and did not meet until he was in his forties and she was finishing her doctorate, but still. It is as if

L

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had always been together and she, she really loves him and wants me to be good. As well as can be. Today was stuffed French toast, bread rolls filled egg and butter with a mixture of cream cheese and blueberry ice cream that had thawed in the night, and a frittata, which is basically a huge baked bread filled with eggs, cheese and vegetables . There’s also bacon, and orange juice squeezed herself. -Kathy, have you sent this recipe for French toast somewhere? Father says if focuses on breakfast, and Mom shakes her head, pulling her notebook of recipes from the contest. (Of course you have one, in fact, more than one. They are all over the house. And in your car). “The breakfast tickets are usually some type of bread or pastries,” he says while typing. I think the next big thing will be pancakes have been turned into some kind of dish in layers. Lasagna pancakes! Oh, with syrup as sauce, and maybe chocolate hazelnut spread like cheese … he went silent, slowly and began to write more quickly, outside the kitchen area of creation. Dad smiles and pats his hand is not a writer. “Do not forget to eat,” he said, and Mom nods, and picking a piece of bacon and bringing it closer to your mouth as you type. Dad starts laughing immediately. I resist a little longer, but then I’m laughing too. “Oh, hush,” says Mom, smiling and finally taking the bacon to his mouth. After swallowing, he says. Henry “How’s your hip? “It feels better than yesterday. Mom looks at him - you going to call the doctor tomorrow? “For you, anything. “I said smiling father and mother smiles back, then look at me. It amazes me that Brianna is not here. You two, well three of you now, I guess since it seems to be pretty serious about Ryan, have been closely together lately. - Ryan was a friend to you? Father says. “Dad, I do not … Can we not discuss my social life? -Or lack thereof.

“I’m not arguing. I’m asking. Ryan seems like a good guy, so I thought maybe someone knew you could …

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- Dad! “I said again, and he looks at my mother, who nods to him. “You’ll meet someone,” she says. Somewhere out there is the perfect guy for you, Sarah Bear. It is. His name is Ryan, and I can not go out with him because he’s dating my best friend. But I’ve kissed. “I’m full,” I say, starting to walk away from the table. I’m working on my homework. - Will not you come? “Mom, are not yet eleven, nobody I know is up. “Oh, of course they are,” he says, as if everyone got up at dawn on the weekends. Because normally Brianna was already here. “Yes,” whispered and leave the kitchen, I go upstairs to my room. Mom was right. Brianna usually is here. Normally I call when I get home from church, even before change clothes and come to eat with us. But today, I called her. Today had been trying to think of it, I told myself that I thought about it, but it was not. Not really. Not as it should. I kept thinking about Ryan. I kept thinking of Ryan, and had not called because I wondered if he would call me. If you would talk about last night, or kiss, or both. I have not called because if I do and he is with her, I will not be able to pretend that you might like it. And I want. I pretend that there is a “him and me ?. I pretend that the first time he called Brianna had been different from what it was. What happened the morning after that party at the end of summer was this: