The Vow: The True Events That Inspired the Movie (22 page)

Our family greatly enjoys spending time together. In addition to playing sports, some of our favorite things to do include flying our radio-controlled aircraft and playing with our various pets—four dogs, one cat, one hamster, a wild chipmunk that has made his home in our back yard, and a one-eyed water frog.

We still live in Farmington, where both sets of our parents now reside. My twin brother and his family live here as well. It has been great to have our kids grow up around so much of their family. My only wish is that my older brother would move back so that the Carpenter family would all once again be united. Throughout our ordeal with Krickitt, we learned the importance of close family ties, and we’re glad our children know and love their extended family.

Although Krickitt has never gained any memory of meeting, dating, or marrying me (the first time), our life today could not be better. After all we have been through enduring the trials and tribulations that have confronted us, we know there will be more to come. That’s just how life works. But we have a great sense of appreciation and thankfulness for what God has given us. We have been truly blessed.

Eighteen years have now passed since our accident, but we are reminded of it every day. Unlike the first few years of our trials, our memories no longer bring about uncertainty, fear, or anger, but instead a great sense of purpose. God has given us such an amazing opportunity to reach out to others. We continue to speak to others about our experience, and we occasionally get phone calls from someone who has read or heard about our story. From time to time we also get calls from people whose loved ones have been in traumatic events and who need our support and encouragement. Though those moments are hard for us only because I know the horror of what they’re going through, we know that walking with others who are where we once were is a way we can give back and give purpose to the events of our lives.

A good friend of mine, songwriter Billy Simon, penned the lyrics of a song titled, “A Man You Would Write About” that was recorded by the Christian singing group 4Him. In that song, he talks about how he wants to be a man that could be written about and still be read about one thousand years later. To me, that would be the ultimate reward—to have lived a life so full of faith that people will still read about you in a thousand years. However, I don’t see the recognition as the reward; instead the reward is that you’ve been provided a means to bless and inspire others to help them live the fullest life they can.

A publicist once told me we’ve been seen or heard by an estimated six hundred million people around the world. That’s twice the population of the United States. But even though we have been given an amazing opportunity to inspire many, the two people I most want to inspire are my children. I cannot wait for the day when they are able to read this book and understand all that their mother and I have been through. I believe that sharing life’s experiences and learning from them creates a strong family foundation. What strengthens it even more is having God at the center of it all.

My father once told me, “Give back what was given to you.” That has been my goal, and the greatest blessing has been to watch my children give to others before worrying about their own desires. I have seen my little girl donate all the money in her piggy bank to a Christian radio station that shares God’s Word on the airwaves. I have seen my son stand up for the weak and pay dearly for it from a bully. I have seen the two of them give up a favorite toy to a little child who had nothing. The two of them continually amaze me as they put others first by giving, praying, and reaching out to the friendless.

As my children grow, I continually pray that Krickitt and I will raise them in the way God wants us to. We realize that one of the best things we can do for them is to be good examples. Do we always succeed? No. I know I have much to change. Yes, I have failed in making my vow to always respect Krickitt. I still yell at her from time to time and I feel bad about it. But I do know my convictions will continue to remind me of what I need to work on, and with God’s help we do our best and rejoice when Danny and LeeAnn make good choices.

Our family lives by three sayings. The first is that we “do the right thing.” If you were to walk up to one of my kids on the street and say, “Remember . . .” they will respond with, “do the right thing.” Our second saying is, “It’s important to give it all you got.” We have learned that life is precious, so while we’re here we need to give all we have. And our third saying is, “I got gaps, and together we fill them.” Think about that for a moment. We all have things that we’re good at and not-so-good at, but together we fill each other’s gaps. When we work together and complement each other by filling in the gaps, we can achieve our dreams hand in hand. I believe that as our family lives out those three things, we can give to others what has been given to us.

Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). I believe that wholeheartedly. But I also believe that in order to truly give, you must know what it is to truly receive. When tragedy strikes you, as it did to us, don’t cut yourself off from the world. Instead, reach out to your friends and family, and to God. Then you will know what it is like to receive, and as a result you will know how to give to others.

I wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but I love Krickitt more today than I did on our first wedding day. She is an absolutely amazing woman. I can hardly imagine what faith it took for her finally to believe it when everybody kept telling her she was married to me. “God wanted me to be married to this person,” she said. “Everybody said I was, and one day, looking in the mirror, I was convicted by the Lord that it was the truth.

“I trusted God when I married Kim, so I knew I’d get to know this guy that I married. I don’t look back at what is lost. The media does, but I don’t live like that. I fix my eyes above.”

Krickitt and I were given a second chance at life together, and neither one of us will ever take each other or our marriage for granted. We had two weddings and the rings to go with them, and we also celebrate two wedding anniversaries every year. Both of those days mark new beginnings for us. We don’t dwell on the bad times but look ahead to the amazing things we know God still has in store for us. Krickitt will never have a memory of falling in love or of our courtship and marriage. But she says that what she felt as a bride the second time was a deeper love than most wives experience in a lifetime. Our unique experiences, as awful as they were at the time, have given us a stronger bond than we would have had without them.

I think what has kept our story alive all this time is that it is a story of hope, which is always in short supply and high demand. It would have been so easy for either of us to give up during the long and sometimes dark years during and after the accident, but with God’s help we didn’t. I often think about the story of Job that Krickitt and I read the first time we met each other. There were many times when I identified completely with this poor servant who went from a life of plenty and happiness to the pit of despair. Yet the Lord brought him through it and eventually heaped riches on him far greater than what he had lost. I don’t think I could hold up under the trials that Job had to endure. But I think I have some sense of what he went through, and my life is no less a miracle than his was.

I’m no hero. I have made mistakes just like anyone else has, and I wouldn’t be who I am today without my faith and trust in him. This story is not about me, and it’s not about Krickitt. It’s about the Lord and how he brought my wife and me through a terrible time to a life that is greater than we could have ever imagined. It’s about a commitment not only to the Lord but also to each other.

As this book comes to an end, our lives will continue on. As you close the back cover to this book, I want you to remember that in life you will encounter some very tough times, but you can find your strength in God. If there is something missing in your life, seek the Lord. If you once had him in your life and now he seems far away, guess who moved? He is still there; just go to him. He loves you with an everlasting love, and through obedience to him all commitments will endure.

We made a vow.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

From Kim

Life sometimes will deliver adversity, and when it comes our strength derives from our faith in God and our family and friends who bestow a sense of stability that can only come from the love and support they give. I want to thank my parents, Danny and “Moose,” for teaching me the discipline of living with accountability during the most difficult time of our lives. Kelly and Kirk, I look forward to spending time and growing old side by side the way we grew up. I am grateful for the women behind my brothers, who are a total blessing, not only to them but also to the Carpenter name. And Krickitt, you are my rock that has been there through thick and thin to catch me when I stumble.

To the doctors, nurses, EMTs, and the many others who helped us through our time of turmoil, our gratitude will always uphold you in our memories. To my friends and colleagues, you’ve been by our side all the way and you have brought much joy in knowing that you are a part of us.

Finally, Danny and LeeAnn, you are the joy of my life. You fill my heart with warmth knowing you not only will carry on our legacy, but you will be a blessing to many you will encounter. Reach for your dreams and help others along the way.

I love you all for making me complete.

—Kim Carpenter

From Krickitt

Life is a gift from the Lord and he is our refuge and strength in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. He has blessed us by creating individuals that have played such an instrumental role in our lives.

To my parents Gus and Mary Pappas, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the never-ending love, support, and encouragement you have always shown me. In your fifty-plus years of marriage, you have displayed the meaning of a vow. To my brother Jamey, you are a tower of strength and knowledge and an example of Christ, like no other. I love you “Mamey.”

To my Southern California girlfriends, Megan, Lisa, Katie, Heather, and “Stussy,” I thank you for helping me to learn what it really means to be a Christian and how to grow in my relationship with Christ. You are my “sister friends” forever. Dolan, we will always be teammates and our time together at CSUF will always be cherished. To the sport of gymnastics, you and all of my coaches have taught me what it means to work hard, endure, and persevere through the toughest of challenges and pain.

I also want to thank the doctors, nurses, therapists, and counselors who played a vital role in saving my live and aiding in my recovery. To all of my family, in-laws, friends, and the City of Las Vegas, New Mexico, you exemplify the true gift of friendship and giving. For that I will forever be grateful.

My husband Kimmer, I love you with a never-ending love. On September 18, 1993, I made a promise to keep. Thank you for staying true to your vows and loving me with an unconditional love just like Jesus. You are a rock and a truly amazing individual. You are a wonderful husband and father. To my children Danny and LeeAnn, you are my precious blessings from above. I love you and I pray you seek the Lord with all of your hearts. He loves you eternally.

Thank you, Lord Jesus. You are the reason I did the right thing and gave it my all. May you receive all of the glory and honor.

—Krisxan “Krickitt” Pappas Carpenter

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)