The Wall (82 page)

“Unheard of! And what, then, can I do?”

“That’s quite simple, then you can apply for compensation.”

“But the paintings! I want the paintings, not compensation!”

“Don’t be unreasonable. It’s not at all certain that you’ll even get compensation. It is seldom agreed to, and who knows when it’s ever paid out.”

“The paintings! I’m not talking about compensation!”

“If your complaint is acknowledged, but the paintings are not returned, they will be photographed for you at the museum’s cost. If you are turned down, we’ll still work with you and let you have the paintings photographed at your cost, if you wish. Copies can also be made at your cost.”

“Am I in a den of thieves or a madhouse?” exclaimed Herr Lever.

He couldn’t understand Schnabelberger’s suggestions, for they seemed to him unbelievable, Frau Lever also having gotten worked up over them. The two of them were indignant as they passed on somewhat unflattering words about what they thought to be the scandalous conditions in the museum, as well as commenting on the appearance of Mrs. Mackintosh.

“I believe, my good people,” Schnabelberger interrupted, “the situation with the lady has nothing to do with this. I handled her along with Herr Dr. Landau, as she deserved, even though her husband is a big shot in the embassy and also in England and is supposed to be a famous critic and writer. Let’s please concentrate on your situation, for we must soon close.”

“Well, then, as for the Office for Enemy Goods … Or what’s that place called?” Herr Lever began.

“The Office for the Recovery of Enemy Goods,” offered Herr Schnabelberger.

“Well, I’ll go there straight off. Can you give me the address?”

“But of course, my pleasure.”

Herr Schnabelberger wrote out the address on a sheet with a pencil and handed it to Herr Lever.

“How long do you think it will take for such an inquiry to be answered?”

Herr Schnabelberger shrugged. “That’s hard to say. Perhaps a year.”

“What, a year!”

“They have a lot of inquiries to deal with there. If it goes quickly, it still might take nine months.”

“By then we’ll be back in Johannesburg again. We want to stay no more than a month.”

Herr Schnabelberger said that he fully understood and advised turning the case over to a good lawyer, which is what he would recommend anyway, since paintings could not be taken out of the country without permission.

“Is there no justice at work in this country! It’s simply outrageous! How much everything has changed here!”

“That’s right, Guido, that’s what I warned you about. Without a lawyer, nothing happens. You’ll have to get one!”

“They’re crooks, Mitzi, but what can I do? Could you be so good as to recommend one? A specialist for the restoration of property?”

“Dr. Blecha!” I blurted out. “He can do it.”

“Really. Is he your lawyer?”

“No, I don’t have one. He represents a friend.”

“Guido, take down the address!”

Quickly I wrote it down on Herr Lever’s sheet, on which the address for the Office for the Recovery of Enemy Goods was written. Now the South African had had enough and got up.

“Come, Mitzi! Those paintings hung for decades on the wall of my parents’ apartment, and then Eugene had them on the wall of his salon.”

He tenderly stroked the edges of the wounded frames.

“Gentlemen, no offense, but I have to say, it’s a scandal. To the devil with you!”

His wife had also stood up. Herr Schnabelberger and I accompanied the incensed couple for a few steps. At the door, the Johannesburgers departed from the chief without saying a word, as he waved to me to walk the visitors to the stairs. Outside, Herr Lever turned to me, incensed.

“I won’t give anything to this museum! Don’t even ask me! Let’s just call that justice!”

I didn’t say anything in return, but I didn’t turn back from the stairs as I had intended to but accompanied the couple down the stairway. Herr Lever didn’t seem at all interested anymore, but his wife still paid careful attention to the paintings on the walls.

“Herr Doctor, are all of them stolen?” she asked bitterly.

To that I didn’t say anything, either. Herr Geschlieder heard us and came out of his custodian’s apartment. I was pleased to turn the couple over to him.

“Please, could you see these good people out?”

I excused myself and wished them a pleasant stay in their old hometown. Frau Lever had already turned away from me, but her husband stood there for a moment and looked at me gravely while quietly shaking his head.

“The city of a hundred golden towers—that’s what we learned as children. It seems to me that nothing goes the way it should here anymore. Everything has changed.”

“You could be right.”

He reached out his hand to me.

“So, you say Dr. Blecha?”

“You can give him a try.”

Herr Lever followed after his wife. I had spent over two hours with the South Africans, as well as with Mrs. Mackintosh. I had no desire to work anymore that day, for Anna had said she wanted to see me that night. We had only seen each other in passing since our journey to the mountain woods, which had happened more than two weeks earlier. She would be picking me up at the museum in less than an hour. I was pleased about that, and therefore had no desire to start in on something else. Slowly I climbed the three floors, cleared my desk, and opened the large cabinet stuffed from top to
bottom with retrieved items. There was a lovely little dark-red leather purse that I had thought of; I wanted to take it with me and surprise Anna. I rarely opened the cabinet, because I hated cramming things into it, but I tried to think just what I would have to latch on to in order to pull out the little purse. Yet I was mistaken, for I couldn’t find it. I would have given up the search if I weren’t already bent on it. So I had to take a bunch of things out of the cabinet which I laid on a chair or spread out before me on the floor. The place looked like a junk shop; a painted porcelain vase slipped from my hands and broke into pieces, which I quickly swept up and dumped into the wastebasket. But my efforts were met with success, for finally I had the purse. I was in the process of putting everything back in order when there was a light knock on the door and, before I could say anything, Frau Dr. Kulka was standing next to me. She noticed the embarrassing mess around me with pleasure.

“So this is your work here!” she said, mocking me.

“I was looking for something, madam.”

“Listen, Dr. Landau, let me be clear. Despite this strange business, I have no doubt of your diligence. I know what you have done for us. I also know that your nerves have suffered through much more than we have. But what goes too far goes too far. What is all of this stuff here?”

“Private things. They’re not mine. I was given them, whether I wanted them or not. Wherever I went, I had to take them. Eventually I stopped picking up anything, and I got rid of some things in between.”

“And all of it was brought here, right? In essence, a nice little private Landau Museum of Family Mementos.”

“Please, don’t say that so reproachfully. It’s not at all true.”

“Is that true? Why did you schlepp all this stuff here? You didn’t ask anyone for permission and just stashed it all away here. That’s not at all permissible. Nowhere in any museum would that be tolerated.”

“Ah, madam, there’s a lot that goes on here that would be unthinkable in any museum in the world. This stuff isn’t in anyone’s way, and I don’t know what else to do with it.”

“You have to get these things out of the museum! How could you think of bringing it all here!”

“I’m slowly getting rid of it. I don’t have room for it anywhere else. I’m
sorting through the things. Though I never do it during working hours. Today is an exception, because I was looking for something. This little purse! I wanted to give it to someone.”

“I don’t care what you do during working hours. We only care that you get your work done, not when you do it, though I would recommend that you stick to regular hours. But that’s not what I want to talk about, but rather this stuff here. We can’t have this kind of private museum. There’s no justification for it.”

As Frau Dr. Kulka lectured me, I slowly began to gather up the things around me and put them back in the cabinet.

“I won’t bring anything more. It’s already been at least five months since I brought anything.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Why don’t you believe me? I long ago stopped wanting to hear about or see any of this. You needn’t have any worries.”

“What’s here has to go!”

“But of course. It won’t be here forever.”

“Will it soon disappear?”

“As soon as possible. But please be patient. It’s difficult to get rid of these things. There’s always something. Whether it be finding someplace to get rid of the stuff or to store it.”

“When will that happen?”

In the meantime, I had put back almost everything. What still lay on the floor I casually kicked to the side. Then I closed the cabinet.

“Please, madam, don’t pressure me.”

“I don’t mean to, but there needs to be order. It all has to be gone within a month or two.”

“Don’t torment me! Everything will eventually be taken care of, then one day I’ll leave and you’ll be rid of me.”

“Do you want to leave?”

“I’ve wanted to for a long time, but whether or not I can I don’t know.”

“Completely gone. You mean leave the museum?”

“If there’s an opportunity to travel abroad, I must, unfortunately, leave the museum indeed.”

“You can’t be serious!”

“There’s no sense in talking about it, for there’s no way I can leave.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Well, anywhere. At least for a while.”

“For a while, that’s not a bad idea. We can talk about that. Let me think if I can help you or not. An exchange would work quite well for you, and if we can spare someone here who would represent us well abroad, I’ll indeed appeal to the trustees on your behalf, if you can put together practical suggestions.”

“Thank you so much.”

“But to leave for good, that’s another story. I can’t go along with that. People are leaving the country as if the earth under their feet were on fire. I don’t understand why. To persevere, see it through, rebuild—that’s a slogan I can support!”

I had nothing to say in response and closed the cabinet. I wrapped the purse in tissue paper and was glad that Frau Dr. Kulka no longer said anything about my things. She observed what I was doing, and I had the feeling the unpleasant encounter was not yet finished.

“I’m sorry to tell you that anything you take out of the museum you have to show to Herr Geschlieder. That’s not out of distrust of you but for your own good. Just think what people might say if they saw heaps of things being schlepped out of the museum. They would talk about you, but also about us. In addition, it will create bad blood among the employees. If you show what it is you’re taking out, then you and everyone else are covered.”

As shameful as it was, I had to agree and submit myself to such surveillance. Herr Geschlieder wouldn’t even bother glancing at my bag, but instead just smiled and nodded at me.

“There’s something else I have to say to you, Dr. Landau. And that is much more critical. This is yet another instance that casts a disturbing light on your employment at the museum. That can’t continue. Do you understand me? You have to give me your word of honor that such a breach of trust will not occur again. Otherwise, to my great regret, I will have to take matters in hand and bring the issue before the board.”

I had no idea just what else I had done wrong, though my legs grew weak and I had to sit down on a nearby chair. My position at the museum had been difficult from the beginning, and I had exacerbated it, but personally
I got along well with everyone there, many liked me, most likely even Schnabelberger, while even with Frau Dr. Kulka I had always avoided any serious confrontation. I had given my best to the museum and was not aware of any great problem with my work, and wasn’t aware of having made even the slightest mistake. What, then, was the problem? Why did this feeling of doom press upon me?

“I don’t understand, madam. Do you just want to get rid of me?”

“Don’t talk nonsense, and just try to finally have a positive relationship with life and the museum!”

“To life? I don’t see how that has anything to do with it. I do what I can. The museum has no reason to complain. Or are you talking about my relationship to the paintings? As patients, as invalids and such? We already talked about that and got past it. I have kept to everything that we agreed to.”

“No, that’s not it.”

“Well, then, what is it? Why don’t you tell me? Do you just want to get rid of me?”

“How stupid do you think I am, Doctor?”

“I’m not accusing you of anything, madam! It’s all so complicated, and you shouldn’t confuse me even further. I suffer, but I’m used to it. Oh, these times. You don’t know what it’s like. You have your husband and your children, and a nice apartment. You are secure. For you everything is pretty much assured, and for Herr Schnabelberger as well, and everyone at the museum. When you go home at night, it all makes sense. For me there is nothing but barren walls at which to stare. I feel trapped. The walls threaten to collapse about me, but they only threaten and don’t fall upon me, though only then would I be free. Everything has become so haunted. Even here. You don’t sense it, which is why you can walk through all the rooms at ease, whether in the hermitage or anywhere, even in the cellar. You can work in the unsorted archives, do something with them, and will feel joy in doing so besides. That’s not how it is for me. I always see what lies behind, between, before me. The dead don’t speak, there are no ghosts, no; yet how eerie it all is. The dead are gone, crushed and scattered, but their things speak the language of the dead, and so it will be until we get rid of the things or the shadows that cling to them. I could say a lot more about it, but I fear you wouldn’t understand me and would be cross with me about it all.”

As I talked, Frau Dr. Kulka had pulled up a chair and sat down across from me. She listened closely to what I had to say and was serious, while splotches of red appeared on her cheeks, perhaps from disgust, perhaps from horror, perhaps even from compassion; clearly, she felt uneasy. She had a blue pencil with which she played, leaving a line across her chin without knowing.