The Wall (The Woodlands) (11 page)

They
’d found us.

I had no time to stare. I wasn
’t even sure if I should go back in, but that’s where everyone else was. That’s where Joseph and Orry were. I had no choice.

I squeezed through the door and
ran, darting in and around fallen pieces of ceiling and shattered light globes. As I approached our room, I looked up and saw three stories clear above me from a giant hole in the ceiling. The shift in the earth was causing our mound to collapse. Looking left and right, I clambered over a fallen rock, only to hear a moan coming from under the debris. I pulled the mangled metal and coils of wire away, my hand getting shredded by broken glass, and found half a person. The woman’s torso was all I could see. Her legs gone, squashed under the giant, black rock. Her face was covered in dirt. I swallowed hard and swept it away from her face. She pursed her lips and let out a small sigh. Her airways clogged with dirt and rubble, she coughed. I found her hand. It was cold, the life leaving it. I was breathing so fast, my eyes darting around, trying to find something that would help. I couldn’t leave her here. I searched frantically for the rest of her. I put my shoulder to the rock and tried to push it over but it wouldn’t move. I let out a sharp cry in frustration. Her hand gripped me tightly, perfect fingernails digging into my wrist.

“
Tell them I did my duty,” she said, her eyes rolling around like she was selecting the words from the air. “Tell them,” she insisted, gripping me even tighter.

I nodded
, tears making my vision blurry. She coughed again. Her body lurched and convulsed once and then she was still, shock making my own body still.

But
I needed to run.

I wiped my f
ace with the back of my arm, sweeping dust into my eyes. I looked back and watched her body disappear into the wreckage as more of the ceiling rained down on her. Just the small bump of her tightly pinned hair protruded from the chaos.
Is that what happens in death? Your body returns to the earth, or molds into whatever you die with?

The ground shook again
, the remaining ceiling collapsed, and she was buried. No time. They would be here soon.

I ran down the hallway. The ground lurch
ed and jolted under my feet. I pushed through the dark halls, occasionally seeing flashes of light behind me that lit up the hall for seconds at a time like a camera flash. I swung myself down the ladder, skipping most of the rungs and landing on my feet unevenly, pain shooting through my heels. There was a single stream of light coming from the door. I could hear them yelling as I approached. Joseph’s voice was the loudest. “I’m not leaving without her,” he shouted. Dogs barked excitedly.

I burst through the doors and was confronted with panicked pairs of eyes. Joseph ran to me, tripping over ropes and nearly knocking me over.
“Damn it, Rosa.” His hands were shaking but he pulled me to him so tightly that I could barely breathe. I leaned back and looked at him. “I’m ok, but there was a woman… she’s gone. I mean, squashed. Oh God.” I covered my face with my hands to hide my embarrassment at that terrible announcement.

“
Mila,” Matthew uttered quietly, holding a charm that hung around his neck to his lips and closing his eyes.

“
Mila,” they all said in unison, each holding something similar up and copying Matthew’s actions. They didn’t seem that upset. It was like they had expected it or maybe they had accepted it already. I didn’t have time to contemplate their weird behavior just then.

I
threw the capsule on the floor, trying to shake the dead woman’s face from my mind.

Apella was already settled in a sled, her arms folded
neatly in her lap like she was about to go on a scenic tour. Alexei handed me Orry and slid in behind her. One of the survivors stood behind them. All the sleds were pointed directly at the wall, the dogs hooked up, jumping and straining at their harnesses. I didn’t understand what was happening. How could we ride out of here? We were underground. I laughed loudly at the idea of us all speeding directly into the wall at full pace. Splat! Everyone stared at me for a second. I was deaf from the blast. My ‘loudly’ was booming.

I popped Or
ry in the capsule, padded it with scraps of fabric, and slung him on my back. He was secure. Gus stood in front of us and yelled out some basic instructions, left, right, stop. Joseph nodded. I wanted to scream. We couldn’t do this.

I
insisted Joseph sit in the front. We were having a ridiculous tug of war about who wanted to put themselves in danger more. But while my back was turned, he climbed out and stood in the driver’s seat. A woman slid into the front of our sled and I squatted behind her, an idiotic pang of jealously hitting me. I wanted to drive.

The ground shook again and the doo
r to the dog room twisted on its hinges. It screamed in metallic twangs as half the ceiling around it fell down a few feet, intact but looking like a burgeoning dam about to burst.

This could
have been the worst time possible. But I felt like the words would choke me if I didn’t spit them out now. I turned to Joseph and shouted, “I love you!”

I wish I could say the world melted away in that moment, that time stopped and it was terribly romantic
. What actually happened was he snorted, his eyes glowing. I wanted to smack him and throw my arms around him at the same time. I knew exactly what he was thinking.
Now? Now is the time you choose to tell me you love me?
I tried to wink at him but I think all I did was blink both eyes. At that point, he threw his head up in the air and, although I couldn’t hear him, I could feel his whole-hearted laugh deep in my own chest, spreading warmth through me like no one else could. I rolled my eyes. I was so good at making a fool of myself.

I
was speedily ejected from my happy state as the ground become unsteady under the sled and the nauseating sense of movement that was out of my control took over as the floor started rising.

We were on some sort of ascending platform
, like an open elevator. Everyone’s faces were tense. Their mouths were set hard, looking up. I didn’t blame them. As we rose, we could see the destruction around us. The cavernous hideout was being scooped out like an old pumpkin, patches of sunlight streamed through vast holes. Big blobs of snow dripped and spilled over the edges like melting ice cream. The dogs were barking and everyone was clinging to their sleds for dear life.

We rose, wobbling, teetering.
It felt like we were a plate balancing on a broom handle. It was dark and then suddenly we were pushed out into the frozen air like early spring saplings.

People sighed
collectively in relief, but voices were quiet. We had come out on the other side of the hill and were hidden only by the mound that was fast collapsing. We didn’t know where the Woodland soldiers were. We were about a mile from the tree line. The survivors shouted at their dogs, urging them forward, and the dogs obliged.

T
he shouting morphed into a shattering bellow as the supports for the platform we were on started to give way. Metal creaked and strained as it swung one way and then fell to the side with a clang. The lip of the circular plate was barely touching the edge of the bank surrounding the hole. It looked so precarious it could have been clinging to a single snowflake. We were at the edge closest to the trees. Joseph shouted and the dogs started to run, our sled bouncing off and over a growing gap between the plate and the ground as it started to recede unevenly into the ground.

But there were still groups behind us.

I turned to see their sleds swing sideways and one, two, three of them slip over the edge and fall into the cavern below. Dogs yelped as they tried to find a hold on the metal plate that was now tipped at a 65-degree angle with their claws. They were running in the air as they fell. I wanted to jump up and help them but there was nothing we could do. The people didn’t even scream. I caught the stony face of the bored woman from that first meeting. Air whipped around her face, her sled spun, colliding with the dogs attached to it, making a hollow thud as it slammed into their ribcages. Then they disappeared into the ground in a tangled ball of human and animal.

Who was left? I could see Gus and Cal at the front. Matthew was with them. Apella and Alexei were there.
They were disappearing into the snow as the camouflaged sleds and outfits shrank into the whiteness. But where were Hessa and Deshi? My ribs strangled my heart as I searched ahead and behind me, but I couldn’t see them.

I thought I must have been screaming—my voice as loud as the destruction, but my mouth wasn’t even open.
My head was rattling, the ringing from the explosion and the pounding panic confusing me.
If Hessa dies, I will die
, I thought. I won’t survive it. I won’t. I won’t. I could feel Orry’s warmth on my back, realizing I had to. I had to survive anything and everything. It would keep coming, pelting me with new torment, and I would have to keep going, for him.

I kept searching for them and we kept getting further away from the hill, or what was left of it. Joseph expertly controlled the sled. I
tried to see his face, to make eye contact, but he was firmly focused on the horizon. We reached the trees and snow-covered branches slapped me in the face. It was so cold it burned. The sharpest pain, a thousand tiny needles burying into my skin. I imagined I could remove my whole face in one frozen mask. My body was warm but the wind on any part of my exposed skin was like a punch.

The woman in front of me was leaning every time we turned and I copied her actions. It made the sled move more smoothly.
She was quiet and calm. These people were crazy—or so far removed from crazy, they didn’t seem human.

As opposed to me
, who was frantic. Hessa. Where was Hessa? My eyes skittered in my head as I snapped back and forth, combing the frozen tundra for some sign of them. There were none.

I wondered h
ow far we would travel. It was so cold out here. My bones felt brittle and liable to snap. We wouldn’t survive for very long without shelter. A small sense of relief reached up when I realized the dogs couldn’t go on indefinitely. We would have to stop. Then I could make them turn around. I could go back and look for my baby nephew.

But w
e didn’t stop. Not for a long time. The explosions had either ceased or we were too far away to hear them. The other sleds disappeared into white and I found myself disappearing too, bowed inwards like the answers lay in my belly button. I imagined the soldiers would be searching through the rubble now, stepping over the bodies and doing headcounts. My own head was going over all the possible scenarios. If Deshi and Hessa had survived the fall, they would be back in the Superiors’ custody. That thought pierced through me harder than the cold. They would be better off dead. Then the guilt that accompanied that thought was unbearable. I wished I could talk to Joseph but it was too hard to even turn my head, let alone open my mouth. I tried but my neck was stiff, my voice carried away by the wind and the chorus of panting dogs and paw pads.

We just went on and on
, moving through the trees. The sled cut a light track in the snow, gliding over it, almost flying. Everywhere, things that were once familiar were almost unrecognizable. The trees were bare. The light too bright, too shiny, like the sun itself had turned into a giant, cold, fluorescent light, giving off no heat but burning everything with its stark brightness.

We
turned a corner and the woods stopped abruptly. A cold, dark line of trees gave way to a perfect 45-degree slope. The other sleds were pooled at the base. The dogs strained to pull their masters up the hill. Some people disembarked and pulled the exhausted dogs up by their collars. We got to the hill and Joseph did the same. His knees reached up as he waded through the snow, looking like he was doing high kicks. I jumped out too, or more like pried my frozen butt off the seat, and battled my way up the incline with Orry on my back.

“
Wh-wh-wh-ere do you think we’re going?” I said through chattering teeth.

“
Beats me,” Joseph said between his boots crunching through the snow.

The woman who had seemed like a statue up until now spoke
. “We’re going home.” She smiled and turned her eyes frontward again, still sitting comfortably in the sled.

Joseph put his arm around
me and pulled me close, our hips colliding softly. Heavily padded suits provided an unwanted barrier. “Oh, and by the way, I love you too,” he said as he winked at me and then imitated my attempt at winking, blinking both eyes hard.

I
blushed, thinking the snow must be melting around my feet. Must he show me up at everything?

I bumped him with my hip and he fell forward into the snow. We both started laughing, a kind of
hysterical laughter that drew away some of the stress we were feeling. He pulled himself up, gave me his irresistible smirk, and we dragged the sled dogs to the top of the hill. The dogs were panting, their long tongues hanging out the side of their mouths. They were spent.

W
e got to the top and my body cracked, the laughter throttling out of my lungs like a vacuum was sucking the air out. My frozen limbs pulled up and away from me as I remembered.