The Way of Women (20 page)

“What are you doing?”

“Changing your baby. She’s been screaming for who knows how long.” Katheryn plastered a reassuring smile on lips that wanted to accuse baby abuse. “Do you mind if I take care of her for a bit. I need to get practiced up for my coming grandchild.”

“I guess.”

“Thank you.” But she couldn’t stay mad at a grieving woman with a helpless baby, and within minutes Katheryn had her changed, redressed in a dry outfit, and cuddled against her shoulder. If there was anything more comforting than a sweet smelling baby against one’s shoulder, she had yet to think of it. Other than seeing her son dash through the door and call her name.

When the young woman finally reached for her baby, Katheryn handed her back and returned to her place. She opened her typewriter and forced herself to return to her story. Glancing up, she caught a nod and smile from the woman behind the desk, and Katheryn smiled back. When she glanced up from rewriting a paragraph for the third time, the woman beckoned her over.

“First, I want to say thank you for my sanity,” the woman said, nodding toward the now fed and sleeping baby. “I don’t understand young mothers nowadays.”

Katheryn made an agreeing sound, all the while wondering what was coming next.

“Let me get to the point. You have such a capable presence about you that I wondered if you would help us a bit. Things are so terribly confusing, all slapdash together, and the people coming here are in desperate need of a comforting presence. If you could just greet them, perhaps, and get a bit of information about them. Many of them could go right to a shelter, and unless they are indeed looking for someone lost or injured, they could be better served elsewhere and not have to stand in this line for no reason. I mean, you don’t have to do this, and you could leave when you want but …”

Katheryn momentarily compared her work that was going nowhere with the good feeling of helping with the baby and nodded. She spent the next hours greeting people, offering condolences, pointing out the rest rooms, and in general making herself useful and easing the burden on the harried staff of one.

At three she left to get another cup of coffee, a necessity after tasting the sludge in the back room. How could the sun be shining when a heavy fog hungover her?

S
he writhed in the agony of her rocks and ash hurling into the air, miles into the stratosphere, dusting the world with her insides. Gases, melted rock, bits of her soul poured forth, in gray and black destruction. Would it never end? Other times had lasted for suns and moons; would this one too? Her slopes were barren and scarred, drenched in mud and ash, leaking water like tears from buried glacier ice.
I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I could not help this
. Her cries rose heavenward, along with the prayers of His people.
God, save us
.

P
lease, where are you taking him?”

“Stand back, miss.” The paramedic spoke kindly but firmly as they slid the gurney into the back of the ambulance.

His face now white, Mr. Johnson gave a feeble wave. He’d already said he was sorry more times than she wanted to count. The EMT finally asked him to concentrate on breathing, assured him that someone else would take care of his daughter.

Mellie had not set them straight on that account. If being his daughter made it easier for him and for her to get information later, so be it. Having a dad like Mr. Johnson was one of her dreams anyway, an easy replacement for the man who’d given her life and then tried to beat it out of her more than once.

She held Lissa close in her arms, the little girl wide-eyed at all the commotion.

What will we do now?
The thought plagued like an infected splinter.

“If you want to follow us, miss, we’re going to the St. John’s Medical Center in Longview.”

“I … I can’t.” Her look must have communicated the terror she felt, for he paused.

“You can’t?”

“I can’t drive. That’s why he … ah … brought us down here.” One wouldn’t call one’s father “Mr.” That would be a sure giveaway.

“I see.”

“Come on, Enders, we’re ready to roll.”

He waved in response but remained next to Mellie.

“Will he be all right?”

“I think so. Tests will tell.” He held up a hand. “Stay right here.” In less than thirty seconds, he was back with a female officer in tow. “Officer Stedman will help you. Take care now.”

Ah, if you only knew
.

By the time she gave a brief answer to Officer Stedman’s questions, the ambulance had outdistanced its wail. Or was the wail going on in her head?

“Let me get this straight. You don’t drive, that car or any car, your father …”

Mellie winced. Was not saying anything a real lie, or …?

“Mr. Johnson is our neighbor.” Lissa lifted her head far enough from her mother’s shoulder to speak clearly.

Officer Stedman looked to Mellie. “That true?”

Mellie nodded. “I never said I was … They assumed that, and I just never …” A sigh came from the soles of her feet.

“So, where is it you really want to go?”

“To the hospital for now. We came down from Tacoma to find my
husband. He was working up on the mountain when it erupted. He was supposed to be home yesterday afternoon, and it’s not like Harv—I mean—he always calls.”

“I see.”

“We were on our way to the center to …” Her throat clogged at the kindness on the young woman’s face.

“Let me check with the desk. I’ll be right back. You might want to go sit in the car there. We’re going to have to move it, or it’ll get towed.”

If only I could drive
. Mellie opened the car door and set Lissa on the front seat. The keys were still in the ignition, so someone could move it. To where? What if something happened to Mr. Johnson’s car? He took such good care of it, just like he took good care of everything.

The tears made her eyes burn, and her nose start to run. Her chest felt tight, like a band that some evil fiend was tightening moment by moment. She sank onto the car seat. No way could she take a deep breath as her vision narrowed and her head threatened to rise off and float away.

“Mommy. Mommy.” Lissa’s voice sounded far away and going further.

“Put your head down between your knees.” A firm hand on the back of her neck accompanied the order. “Easy now, breathe easy. Would a paper bag help?”

Mellie shook her head but did as the officer ordered. She kept her eyes closed and finally was able to swallow the bile that threatened to erupt.
Throw up, pass out, stupid, stupid. Can’t you do anything right? Harv, help me. That’s the trouble, you always expect someone else to … but I can’t
. She felt like shrieking, tearing her hair out, anything to stop the war raging in her head.

“Better now?”

Mellie nodded and slowly raised her head. At least she could breathe, and the scenery around her slid back into place.

“Mommy, you scared me.” Lissa glared at her, fear fighting with fury.

“Me too, baby.” She hugged Lissa tight to her side.

“Okay, I’m going to move this car around the corner to the public parking lot—no one should bother it there. Then I’ll give you a ride over to the hospital or the shelter, whichever you prefer.”

“Are they near each other?”

“Five blocks or so, I guess.”

“Okay.” Which one, make a decision. The blackness hovered on the edge of her vision, waiting to pounce again with the least provocation. She bit her bottom lip, grateful for the pain. Pain she could deal with.

“The hospital. Do you suppose they’ll let me see him?”

“Since you’re next of kin, I’m sure they will.”

Mellie stared up at the woman and caught a small wink with a slight tip of her head. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now, you wait inside the door until I get back. Your little girl doesn’t look too good. We don’t need anyone else getting sick.”

“Thank you.”
If you only knew
.

A few minutes later Officer Stedman drove them by the center and then on to the hospital. “Now, you can find your way back there, right?” The officer looked back over the seat to her passengers in the rear.

“Yes.” Mellie looked up from writing down the address. “I can’t begin to thank you enough.”

“Yeah, well, we cops aren’t all bad, you know.”

“I never knew one who was.”

“You take care, now. And, Lissa, honey, when you see your daddy, you can tell him you rode in a police car.”

Lissa nodded, her eyes round as she studied all the gadgets.

Mellie waved when she and Lissa stood on the sidewalk in front of
St. John’s Medical Center. Taking Lissa’s hand, along with a deep breath, she walked up to the front door. How to tell Lissa not to say that Mr. Johnson was only their neighbor again ranked high on her list of priorities.

“You might have to stay in the waiting room by yourself for a few minutes.”

Lissa sighed. “Don’t want to.” Her voice sounded weaker again, more tired.

“I know, but they don’t let little children into sick rooms. Are you hungry?”

“No. Just yucky.”

Mellie laid the back of her hand against Lissa’s forehead. Sure enough, warmer than she should be.
You came to find Harv. Oh, God, I forgot to call
. She searched for a clock, finally finding one on a wall. “Come on, we need to find a phone.”

“Carry me.”

“Oh, baby …” Mellie scooped her daughter into her arms again, their bag over her other arm, Lissa clutching her blanket. She dug her address book out to remember her PIN. Harv had insisted she write it down so that if she were somewhere without money and needed to make a phone call, she could charge it to their home phone.

She’d not done this before.
What do I do? What did he tell me?
She closed her eyes, the better to remember. Her fingers started to shake, her heart to pound. When in doubt, dial 0 for operator. When a voice came on the line, she stammered and started again. Lissa’s head against her chest somehow gave her courage. “I need to make a call to Seattle and charge it to my home phone.” Reading the numbers requested, she heaved a sigh of relief when the office in Seattle answered. “I … I’m Mellie Sedor, and I
had an appointment with Dr. Thomas this morning. I … We won’t be able to make it.”

“We worked you in because the report said it was critical.”

“I know but … but my husband was on the mountain when it erupted. He …” She choked on the words. “He didn’t call. I … I’m in Longview trying to find something out about him.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” The woman’s voice gentled. “When do you think you might be able to come?”

If only I knew
. “I’m not sure. Mr. Johnson, who might drive me, is in the hospital here with a heart attack.”

“I see.”

No you don’t. How can you?

“Let me put you down for Friday at eleven—that’s the next opening I have. You call me as soon as you know if you can make it or not. All right?”

Mellie nodded as she answered, Lissa’s hair tickling her chin. “Yes, of course.” After hanging up, she slumped against the wall of the phone booth.
Harv, where are you? I need you. Lissa needs you! All I want to do is go home, and we can’t even do that without Mr. Johnson. What are we going to do?

Someone tapped on the door, so she rose and left the safety of the phone booth. Stopping at the information desk, she propped Lissa on the counter, keeping one arm securely around her. When she told the man in a pink office smock her situation, he picked up the phone, talked with someone, and said, “They admitted him to the CCU.” At her blank look, he added, “The coronary care unit. You take the elevator to the third floor and follow the signs. When you get to the closed door, ring the bell, and a nurse will tell you what to do next.”

“Thank you.”
At least he didn’t ask me if I am a relative
. When they arrived at the
NO ADMITTANCE
door, she lifted the phone and waited, as the instruction sign said to do.

After she identified herself, the nurse told her that they were still settling him in, and while he was asking for her, someone would come for her when he was ready.