The Way of Women (26 page)

Mellie stood, her back aching as she tried to shift a sleeping Lissa into an easier carrying position.

“Let me take her.” Katheryn took Lissa from her mother’s arms and nudged her toward the door.

“We have a room ready now.” The nurse led the way down the hall and into a room with a high child’s crib, the sides lowered nearly to the floor.

“You can lay her there, and I’ll be right back to undress her.”

Mellie shook her head. “I …” She paused, the words not coming as they should.

Katheryn smiled over her shoulder as she laid Lissa on the white sheets. “Do you have a gown for her?”

When the nurse left, Jenn peeked in the door. “All right if I join you?”

“Okay by me—there’s plenty of room.” Katheryn motioned to the empty spaces. “Probably the only room in town.”

Lissa whimpered, and Mellie leaned on the bed to speak into her daughter’s ear. “Mommy’s here.” She smoothed her daughter’s hair. Together she and Katheryn undressed the thin little body with skin so blue as to seem transparent.

“Has she had transfusions before?”

Mellie nodded. “Several.”

“Is there anything else to do?”

“She’s had chemo. We were supposed to see a specialist in Seattle on Monday, but we came down here instead. I had to find Harv.”

The nurse handed them a child’s gown with pink teddy bears on it. “We’ll be ready in just a few minutes.”

Lissa roused as soon as they tied the rubber strip around her upper arm. “No, Mommy, no.” Her shriek could be heard down the hall.

“You’ll have to hold her steady.” The nurse waited, butterfly needle in hand.

“I’m trying.” Mellie leaned closer to Lissa. “Easy, baby. Let’s get this over with, and then it won’t hurt anymore.” She kept her murmuring, at the same time rubbing Lissa’s arm.

Lissa writhed on the bed. Weeping now, a heart-wrenching cry that rose to a scream again as soon as the nurse touched her arm.

“We’re going to have to restrain her.”

But even with leg and arm restraints, Lissa bucked and fought.

“How can one little girl who has been too weak to walk be this strong?” Katheryn stood on the other side of the bed, stroking Lissa’s leg.

Two tries and the nurse couldn’t get a vein, even when they were able to hold Lissa still.

“Okay, let’s try again.”

“No.” Katheryn took charge. “This is ridiculous. You bring in someone else, or we sedate her or something.”

Mellie stared at Katheryn, blinking in disbelief. How did she dare speak like that to a nurse?

“Well!” The nurse left the room without a backward glance.

“Good for you.” Jenn joined them at the bedside. “Hey there, little trouper, how about I go get you an ice cream.”

Lissa opened her eyes—and nodded.

When Jenn left, Katheryn asked, “Is it always this bad?”

Mellie shook her head. “Been getting worse. Harv has always been
there, and he can make Lissa laugh and get through it better.” Her eyes widened and she clamped her jaw. Harv would never again make his daughter giggle, tease her into enduring the endless pokes and needles, read to her in the voice of the cat in
The Cat in the Hat
. Fire flickered.

“I hear we’re having a spot of trouble in here.” A young doctor with brushy hair stopped at the side of the bed.

Lissa’s eyes widened. “You got a red nose.”

“Really.” He put a hand to his face and felt the foam rubber ball. “Well, how did that happen?” He leaned closer. “Did you give me a red nose?”

“No.” Her giggle made two of the three hovering women smile.

“I wonder where it came from?” While he was talking, he opened a butterfly pack. “Now, I heard that a little girl in here was in need of some good red stuff to make her feel better. I think she needs a red nose, just like mine.” He shook his head and made a funny
brr
noise, all the while snapping a blue stretchy tourniquet in place on her upper arm. “Don’t you want a nose like mine?”

“Does it squish?”

He leaned closer. “Squeeze it and see.”

Lisa reached out and squeezed the ball.

The doctor jumped back. “Ouch, did you have to squeeze so hard?” He pretended to cry big tears.

Lissa giggled again.

“You think you can hold real still for me so I can give you a big red nose?”

She nodded. “Is it gonna hurt?”

“I’ll be as fast as I can. Here”—he handed her a red ball—“you put this on with your other hand and …” All the while he talked, he tapped
her skin and slid the tiny needle into a vein while she giggled at her mother for trying to put the nose in place.

“Ta-da.” He finished taping the IV hookup. “Now, I suppose you want a red sucker to go with your red nose?” He whipped two red suckers out of his pocket. “One for you and one for me.” Unwrapping them, he handed her one and popped the other in his mouth. He hummed while he set up the IV pole and hung the bag of life-giving blood. “Now, isn’t that a pretty color? And you, my little red-nosed kitten, will feel a whole lot better real soon.” He leaned over and touched his red nose to hers. “Bye.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” Mellie forced the words through her tears. “You were wonderful.”

“You have a mighty special little daughter there. I’m sorry for your loss. Can I get you anything? Sleeping pills tonight might help.”

“I need to be here with Lissa.”

“I’ll stay too.” Jenn stepped forward. “Lissa and I have some more books to read, and I think we might have to dress some paper dolls. Huh, kiddo?”

Lissa smiled up at her new friend. “I guess. Can I have my rabbit now?”

Jenn tucked the lanky bunny under the little girl’s arm. “You get a nap, and I’ll go find us some paper dolls. Okay?”

“ ’Kay.”

“Can I get you something?” The doctor looked directly into Mellie’s eyes. “You’ve had an awful lot on your plate. This could help.”

Mellie shook her head. She’d had pills before. Never again. Especially now, when everything depended on her.

“I’ll check back in a bit later. I’m here if you need anything.”

The filter had dropped back between Mellie and the rest. She tried to
answer with some kind of assurance, but from the look on his face, she’d most likely failed. Like she did everything. How would she ever make it in this world without Harv? Her eyes burned, but her throat was dry as tumbleweeds that rolled in the winter. Big weeds ripped out by the wind and sent bouncing across a barren landscape.

Sleep, would sleep help? Perhaps, she should call him back and be assured of blessed hours of forgetfulness.

“Mellie, is there anyone else we need to notify?”

“Notify?”

“What about Mr. Johnson? Do you have a pastor?”

“Yes.” Mellie sank down in the chair that faced the bed, seeing Jenn making Lissa laugh, but not even sure who she was.

Katheryn knelt in front of her. She spoke slowly or Mellie heard slowly; she wasn’t sure which. “I am going to visit Mr. Johnson and tell him what has happened.”

Mellie nodded.

A nurse stepped into the room. “There are some reporters out here who would like to talk with Mrs. Sedor.”

Jenn stood. “I don’t think so, not tonight.”

“But they …”

“I said, not tonight. If you want, I’ll handle them.”

“Good.” She checked the blood flow, the IV site, and asked Lissa, “You want some Jell-O, sweetie? Bet someone here could feed it to you.”

“Ice cream?”

“You betcha.”

Katheryn followed the nurse out. “I’ll be back in a bit. Jenn, how about waiting to leave until I return?”

“Sure. I’ll just take care of those news hounds first.”

“Mommy?” Lissa raised up, searching the room.

Mellie heard her call and forced herself to sit straight. “Mommy’s here.”

“Daddy coming home?”

Daddy’s already gone home, but how do I tell you? I can’t. Not tonight
.

Jenn shut the door behind herself. “Rather persistent they are.” She picked up a book. “Okay, how about I read this one now?” She’d just settled down when the nurse came in with the ice cream.

Mellie watched as Lissa and Jenn grinned at each other ever each bite. When had Lissa ever taken to someone like that? Of course, she used to, before the disease ate her up.

Mellie leaned back against the chair. Her mind blank, as though she’d walked away and slammed the door shut on her memories. Especially that room, the horrible stench of that room.

“Can I get you two something to eat?” Jenn asked when Katheryn returned.

Mellie shook her head. Even the thought of food made her stomach coil in a knot.

“I’ll get something on my way back to the shelter.” Katheryn crossed to the side of the bed. “How you doing, sweetie?”

“Tired.”

“I’ll bet you are.”

“I want to go home and see my daddy.”

“Right.” Katheryn glanced at Jenn, who shook her head just enough for her to see.

“I’m going to stay the night with them, but I’ll go find paper dolls first. Can you stay until I get back?”

Katheryn nodded. “You going to take that pack outside the door with you?”

“I wish. I tried to appeal to their compassion for a sick little girl who lost her daddy, but you can guess how far that got me.”

“So what did you do?”

“Promised them a story tomorrow. Perhaps we can scuttle out the back way in the morning.”

“I take it you’ve handled reporters in the past.”

“Once or twice.”

Katheryn studied the woman beside her. “You look so familiar. What did you say your last name was?”

Jenn heaved a sigh. “Stockton.” Her voice took on a chill, and she pulled slightly away.

“Jenn Stockton?”

“Yes.”

“The model Jennifer Stockton?”

“Not for some time. I’m a photographer now.”

“I wondered what happened to you. My daughter thought you were the most perfect woman on earth.”

“Little did she know.”

“You came from around here, right?”

“Yeah, innocent young girl from podunk county makes good in the Big Apple.” Jenn shifted so she could see Lissa. “But no more.”

“Someday if you’d like to tell me the full story, I’m known as a good listener.”

“Thanks.” Jenn headed for the door. “I’ll be back in a few.”

Katheryn glanced from sleeping girl to her mother, who was either sleeping or suffering in silence. When she saw the tear slip down Mellie’s cheek, she knew it was the latter.

“Mellie, how about I turn that chair into a bed for you?”

Mellie shrugged, an insignificant motion that barely raised her shoulders.

“You’ll have to move to the other chair, then.” Katheryn brought a regular straight-backed chair closer to the crib where Lissa slept, bunny under her arm, one long leg flopped across her waist.

“I’m going to get some linens from the nurse.”

A minute nod.

In a few minutes, Katheryn returned with sheet, blanket, and pillow in her arms. She took Mellie’s hand to help her move, released the chair so it lay flat, and made up a bed, turning the cover back at an angle. “Here you go.” She knelt down and removed Mellie’s shoes, tucking them under the chair bed so they were out of the way.

“I need to watch Lissa.”

“No, Jenn and I will do that. You sleep.” Once Mellie lay tucked in bed, Katheryn crossed to look out the window. To think, working here with Jennifer Stockton. Life sure could be strange at times.

When Jenn returned they changed places, and Katheryn headed out the door.

“Mommy?”

Jenn leaned over the half-raised rail. “She’s sleeping. I’m here, sweetie.”

“I’m thirsty.”

“You want water or 7 UP?”

“Juice.”

“I’ll be right back. Don’t you go moving around now, hear?”

“I won’t.”

Jenn returned in less than a minute. “They’ll bring some.” But Lissa had slipped back into sleep.

A couple hours later, Mellie sat straight up. “Harvey?”

Jenn came to sit beside her. “Mellie, you need to wake up.”

“Who are you? Oh … oh … Jenn. Harvey, he’s gone.” Tears coursed down her cheeks, and Jenn wrapped her strong arms around the sobbing woman.

“Go ahead and cry. It’ll help in the long run.”
So often I wished for someone to hold me when I cried. Thank God, at least I can do this for someone else
.

“I can’t do this all alone.”

Hardly able to understand the words, Jenn answered. “You don’t have to. I’m here.”

T
hat poor baby. Maybe I should have stayed with Mellie.” Katheryn stared at the lights in the school parking lot. “I could go back.”
Here I am, talking to myself, in a parking lot of a school, planning to spend another night in this uncomfortable shelter, when I could head on home to my own comfortable bed
.

She rested her forehead against the steering wheel. “My bed, David’s bed, our bed. God, where are You? Did You take them? I need to at least have some idea if they are alive or not. How can hope continue?”

He is my hope and my salvation, my very present help in time of trouble
. Where had that verse come from? She didn’t even remember memorizing it.

I don’t want to be a widow!
She felt like she was screaming the words, when she’d not even spoken them aloud.
And my son, my dearest son. I want to hear him laugh again, to see his face. Lord God, I want my family back
. Pressure, like that of a giant vise being turned by some fiend, clamped her chest, her throat, her head. She tried taking a deep breath, thinking,
Hope, hope in Christ
, but nothing helped.