The Way of Women (41 page)

That night as she sank into a first-class seat on the red-eye to New York, her mind did another of its one-eighties, and she could see a younger Frank, clear as if he stood right in front of her. His grin made her heart smile. Another miracle needed,
Please Father, for Jesus’s sake, turn Frank’s life around
.

O
h, dear God, let him live.” Frank knew he’d not been a praying man for too many years, but if anyone deserved to be prayed for, Deputy Lucas Tanner did. He lay hooked up to every machine known to medical science, and he still looked like he could die at any second. He had yet to regain consciousness.

Lord, he stood in my place. Because I was too drunk to do anyone any good, he went. And look what happened
. The knowledge that his own skills in dealing with violent and half-crazed people might have prevented an officer down and a man in the morgue ate at him like a hyena on a kill.

“Tanner, son, you shouldn’t have gone.” This bright young man who dreamed of a career in local law enforcement and was doing everything right had been a special protégé of Frank’s. Frank rubbed his jaw. He had a feeling the bruise on it came from a certain young man’s fist.

And then you lied to save my hide. And unless you or I tell them differently, I still have my badge and what reputation I have left
.

He took Tanner’s hand. “You get better, you hear. No malingering. You can beat this.” He squeezed the flaccid hand, all the while ignoring the tears dripping off his chin. Not a flicker of an eye or a hint of a smile.

But—the barest squeeze of a hand. Tanner could hear.

“Lucas, thanks to you I’m on my way to check into rehab. You saved that woman’s life, and you saved mine. See you when you get out of here and I get out of there. Then you can tell me what really went on last night.”

Another faint squeeze.

Frank squeezed back, long and hard. “God bless.” After sucking in and releasing a deep breath, he saluted the man in the bed and left the room, blowing his nose as he went.

That night, lying in a strange bed in a place he’d dreaded to the depths of his fear, he couldn’t get Tanner out of his mind.
He stood in my place. By his deliberate choice. And he might die. Christ stood in my place by His deliberate choice. And He died. For me. For me. Oh, God, He died for me
. He clenched his teeth and jaw against the scream that threatened to choke him.

The scream escaped as a whimper.
Is everything too late? My job? My life? Jenn?
He tried to rise but fell back on his bed, arms flung wide.
Is it too late?

Frank McKenzie aspired to the principle that one should keep one’s dirty laundry within the borders of one’s own family, and since he was the only remaining family member, that didn’t leave many knowing the family secrets.

The rehab counselor had other ideas.

“And then?”

Frank crossed his arms over his chest, to keep from exploding or from hitting the man, he wasn’t sure which. “I filed my report.”
What do you think I did? I’m a cop. I filed my report and I …

When the silence drew too long and made his feet twitch, Frank narrowed his eyes. “And I tried to nail him to the wall, but the court let him off, sent him to a psychiatric hospital where he can watch television and play games and perhaps do a little watercolor. To calm his demons, you know.”

“I see. Let’s go back to the night you found your wife and son.”

“Dead?”

“Yes.”

“Murdered by that psycho that drew Sig and me up on the mountain to search for a lost child.”

“Yes. Did you find the child?”

“No, it was a false alarm.” Frank left the chair as if on fire and stared out the window, his body rigid, locked so tight breath could hardly enter.

“Tell me what you saw when you entered the room.”

“They were dead.”

“In bed?”

“No.”

“How did they die?”

“They were just dead.”

“How did he kill them?”

“I don’t remember.” Fist clenched, he slammed it on the arm of the chair.

“What did you see when you first walked in?”

“A hand.” He paused. “My son’s hand—on the table.” He fought the memory, writhing and flexing.

“Nooo!” His scream ripped the air and flayed the walls. “He dismembered them. They were lying in pieces all around the living room. My son’s hand lay on the table with a note stuffed in it. Blood, blood everywhere.” He sank to the floor and curled in the corner. “Oh my God, blood and body pieces everywhere.” His sobs pooled around him, reflecting the pain that poured from his body.

Sometime later, when he could move, he raised his head. “And so I began drinking.”

“To forget.”

“What else could I do? They wouldn’t let me kill him.”

T
he mountain sighed in the knowledge that her travail had ended.
Come see, come see, there is green sprouting through the ashes. My friends come seeking, nibbling at my seeds and sprouts that are washed clean by heaven’s water. I will live by the bounty of the Creator’s hands
. Days passed and the sun shone through the haze of ash clouds fading thinner and thinner like worn cloth. Her grieving would continue, but seeds of hope pressed through the surface.

H
ow is she?” Jenn asked as Katheryn and Mellie came through the kitchen door.

“I think stronger.” Mellie hugged her Bible to her chest, her favorite reading matter ever since she started at Genesis and was reading all the way through for the first time in her life.

“Dr. Thomas said we might be through the worst. If only we can keep her from contracting any illness.” Katheryn set her purse on the counter and sighed. “My stomach aches in sympathy pains for all her throwing up.”

Mellie leaned against the counter. “I heard one of the nurses say seventy days of vomiting is not unusual.”

“Mr. Johnson called, just to check up on her. Wondered if she’d gotten his cards. I told him they had to be decontaminated first.” Jenn set her mug in the sink. “I’ll be on my way, then. Oh, Katheryn, I bought groceries. Stuff’s in the fridge and …”

Mellie looked from one to another, sensing the change in the air. She
followed Katheryn’s glance. The cup left in the sink. Katheryn moved to put it in the dishwasher, but Jenn beat her to it. Katheryn had a thing against anything left in the sink.

Or anywhere else, for that matter.

Sharing a house with two women was indeed a different lifestyle for her. She bent down and petted Lucky. “You are such a good dog.” Perhaps when they got to go home again, she should get a dog for Lissa. If Kitty would let one in the door. Harv had always wanted a dog.

“ ’Night, you two. At least I think it’s night. Thank you both for all you do.”

“ ’Night. I’m outta here.” Jenn picked up her canvas tote. “Call me if you need anything.”

Mellie stopped long enough to watch her head out the door. Jenn, always smiling. Katheryn, now, that was a different story. Little things seemed to bother her more and more. Of course, it wasn’t easy having permanent houseguests. She’d be moving into that apartment by the cancer center in another week. Along with Lissa. They had to stay there for a hundred days for Lissa to be closely monitored. Would they all have to wear the gowns and stuff? She’d not thought to ask that yet.

She looked at the message Jenn had left on her dresser. “Call the insurance company. Ms. Fairchild at extension 301.” She included the phone number. It was too late to call now, one more thing to do at the hospital. She and the phone booth in the lobby were getting to be close friends.

Perhaps in the morning she could ask Katheryn if she could help with the weeding, or perhaps she should just go out and do some. If she could wake up early enough.

Sometimes, while Lissa slept, she did too, in the chair by the bed.

Just before she fell asleep, she heard a man’s voice downstairs. Kevin must have come by again. Good, that meant that Katheryn might be in a better mood in the morning.

“Lord, if there is any way I can help her, will You please let me know? She is doing so much for me, and I don’t want to be a burden.”

One good thing about being in Katheryn’s house rather than at home, there were no memories of Harv here. She couldn’t go sniff his clothes in the closet or his aftershave, she didn’t see his tools in the garage, nor could she reach across the bed to where he always slept.

Sometimes she dreamed that this had all been a dream. But when she woke, she was alone.

The next afternoon she walked into the hospital gift shop for a candy bar and saw friendship mugs on the display. One said, “Friends forever,” another, “Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookies of life,” and, “A best friend is a sister you choose.” She picked out two of the sisters kind.

“Could you gift-wrap these for me?” Never had she done such a thing. To walk in to a store, see something she liked for someone else, and just buy it. Without it being a birthday or Christmas gift.

She had the gaily wrapped boxes in a bag on her arm and was out the door when guilt leaped out from behind the post and grabbed her by the throat. She couldn’t breathe.

No! I am not afraid. I can buy something if I want. It is not wrong
. She felt her breathing calm, her heart settle back down.

Next stop, the friendly telephone. When she hung up again, she stared at the wall. The insurance company would be sending her a check for five hundred thousand dollars, to arrive tomorrow. She’d given them
Katheryn’s address. She would have to be there to sign for it. Five hundred thousand dollars. She’d never heard of having so much money at one time.
Now I can pay Mr. Johnson back
. The thought buoyed her steps as she ate the candy bar on the way up to the floor.

“Hi, Mommy.”

“Hi, baby.” She sat down in the chair and put her hands up against the plastic. Lissa did the same so they were palm to palm.

“Need to snuggle.”

“Me too. Just think, next week we’ll be together again.”

“At home with Kitty.”

“No, right near here.” That was another thing she needed to do, find out what kinds of things she could bring there, which of Lissa’s toys, her blanket, clothes. Did everything have to be sterilized first?

“I’m hungry.”

“That’s good to hear. I’ll call for something.”

“Ice cream?”

“How about a Popsicle?

“ ’Kay.” Lissa sat cross-legged in the middle of her bed. For a change a bit of pink tinged her cheekbones. Her bald little head made bathing her easy, since they didn’t have to wash hair. The chemo took care of that. Mellie looked closely.

“Hey, guess what? Your hair is growing back. You’ve got peach fuzz, no, longer than that.”

Lissa scraped her hand over her head. “I don’t feel anything.”

“Go like this.” Mellie held her hand about a quarter of an inch above her skin and moved back and forth.

Lissa did so, and both she and her mother giggled.

Never had Mellie heard a more delightful sound.

When she saw Jenn and Katheryn, she burst out her news. “Lissa was laughing today, and her hair is growing back.” She paused. “And …!”