Authors: Jennifer Joyce
So it’s with mixed feelings that I head out to meet Adam and his nephews. I want to like them as Adam clearly adores them and I think this could be a deal-breaker for us.
Adam and I have agreed to meet at Sweet Street Café again for a Sunday afternoon treat. I assume that by introducing me to his nephews, Adam sees a future for us and this thought makes me giddy with happiness. Seriously, I could break out in song right now as I make way towards the café. The words to ‘Everybody Rejoice’ from The Wiz are on the tip of my tongue, my arms are ready to fling themselves in the air, my feet itching to skip along the pavement.
But I control myself and walk like a normal person.
The café is as lovely as ever as I step inside but this time there is the added bonus of the aroma of fresh baking wafting from the kitchen. There are two tables occupied – the first by a young couple sharing a giant ice cream sundae dripping with sticky toffee sauce and the other by Adam and two young boys. All the joy of the musicals scatters, leaving me with a feeling of apprehension that makes my gut ache.
What if they don’t like me?
What if I don’t like them?
‘Delilah.’ Adam is beaming as he rises from his seat to greet me. It’s quite fortunate that he places an arm around my shoulders and guides me to the table because I’m in definite fight or flight mode – and there’s no way I’m going to battle a three and four-year-old. I’m not sure I’d even bother to open the door as I bolted my way out.
‘Isaac, Luke, this is my friend, Delilah.’ Adam presents me to the table. Both boys look up at me with wide eyes. ‘Delilah, these are my cheeky monkey nephews, Isaac and Luke.’ Adam indicates each child as he says their name. Isaac is the oldest but there isn’t much of a height difference between the two; while Isaac has light, almost white blond hair cut short, Luke has a mass of brown curls falling into his eyes. Both are extremely cute, even to a child-doubter like me.
‘Hello Isaac. Hello Luke.’ I feel like a complete dork as I give an awkward little wave. ‘It’s nice to meet you.’ Jeez, please open up floor and gulp me down!
‘Are you Uncle Adam’s girlfriend?’ Isaac asks. Luke clamps both of his chubby hands over his mouth but they can’t stifle his giggles.
I look at Adam, my eyes wide and fearful. How do I answer that?
‘Yes, matey.’ Adam looks at me for approval, which I give by beaming back at him. I’m Adam’s girlfriend! ‘Delilah is my girlfriend.’
‘Ugh.’ Isaac screws up his little nose. ‘Do you kiss her?’
‘Yuck,’ Luke adds. I try not to take offence.
‘That is none of your business.’ Adam ruffles Isaac’s hair and plonks himself down in a canary yellow chair. I sit down next to him on a lime green chair. ‘Now, are we going to order something yummy or not?’
The boys cheer, their little legs running an imaginary race under the table.
‘I want jelly and ice cream,’ Isaac says. ‘Red jelly and yellow ice cream.’
‘I want jam poly,’ Luke tells Adam. ‘With yellow custard.’
Adam cups his ear with a hand. ‘I didn’t hear any magic words just then.’
‘Please!’ the boys chorus, stretching that one word out to last several seconds.
‘And what would you like?’ Adam asks me. Right now I’d like to kiss my boyfriend but I don’t think Isaac and Luke would approve.
‘I’d like a pink cupcake with purple sprinkles.’ I’d spotted the cake as soon as I’d entered the café, winking at me from the fridge. ‘Please.’ Like the boys, I stretch the word out as long as possible.
Adam chooses a slice of Nutella cheesecake (which I’ll be trying next time, I can assure you) and the arrival of our desserts is a real ice-breaker. If you can’t bond over sweet treats, there really is no hope.
Once we’ve eaten our desserts, Luke insists that I go back to Adam’s flat with them, eager to show me his bedroom. I’ve never actually been to Adam’s flat but, as I am now officially Adam’s girlfriend (to Isaac and Luke, at least), it’s about time I saw where he lives. We pile into Adam’s car and drive to an old pub that has been converted into flats. Adam lives on the ground floor in a spacious two-bedroom flat with access to a small garden at the back through bi-fold doors at the end of an open plan kitchen and living area. We’re set upon as soon as we step into the room by two cats, one with the fluffiest black and white fur I’ve ever seen and the other with shorter fur that is completely white apart from its ginger ears.
‘This is Nanny Plum.’ Isaac scoops up the black and white cat, holding it around its tummy. Instead of fighting, the cat dangles from the boy’s arms, complacent with the position it’s in. Its face conveys that it’s been in this position many times before and has learned that resistance is futile.
‘Put him down, little dude,’ Adam says gently, easing the cat from his nephew’s arms and placing it on the ground. ‘We don’t want to hurt him, do we?’
‘Him?’ I ask.
Adam nods. ‘Yes, him. Isaac insisted on calling him Nanny Plum and wouldn’t listen to reason. But Nanny Plum’s come to terms with it, haven’t you, Nan?’ Adam crouches on the floor and scratches the cat under the chin. He – Nanny Plum, not Adam – begins to purr immediately.
‘This must be Iggle Piggle then.’ I crouch down beside Adam, where the other cat has muscled in on the chin-tickling action. ‘They’re both gorgeous.’
‘Just like their owner, eh?’ Adam grins at me before standing, scooping up both cats and striding to the bi-fold doors. The cats meow their agreement as they spot the open space that will soon be available to them. They bolt as soon as the doors are open.
‘Can we play outside?’ Luke asks. He’s already shrugged off his jacket but he loops his arms back in again.
‘I want to watch telly.’ Isaac jumps onto the sofa and aims the remote at the television secured to the wall. Luke, forgetting all thoughts of outdoor activities, shrugs off his jacket again and dives onto the sofa next to his brother.
Adam stoops to pick up first Luke’s and then Isaac’s abandoned jackets. ‘Just for half an hour. You know what your mum’s rules are.’ He turns to me and lowers his voice. ‘They used up their whole week’s TV quota yesterday. I swear, if I have to watch one more episode of SpongeBob SquarePants I’m going to scream.’ I turn back to the boys. Luckily they’re watching a programme about a lamb and his nursery friends so there’ll be no screaming. For now.
Adam and I move through to the kitchen area. It’s about five times the size of Ryan’s, but then most rooms – or even cupboards – are. The cupboards are a dazzling white with shiny silver handles and granite worktops. An island sits in the middle of the kitchen, lined with four tall, black stools. I plonk myself onto one of the stools while Adam flicks the kettle on.
‘This is a great place.’ I take a good look around the kitchen, at the matching red appliances adding a splash of colour, at the pots of herbs lined up on the windowsill (it turns out Adam doesn’t have a clue how to use them in cooking but his sister bought him the kit and it seemed rude not to at least plant them). There are little lights illuminating the kitchen worktops from above and a little flip-down television, but the best part of this kitchen is the fridge. Or at least what is on the front of the fridge. Magnets hold up an assortment of drawings, paintings and collages made for Adam by the boys, proudly displaying their creative work.
‘These are so cute.’ I hop off the stool to take a closer look. One of the drawings shows a family of four labelled ‘Mummy, Luke, Me and Uncle Adam’.
‘I have tons more in a box on top of my wardrobe,’ Adam says. ‘I can’t bear to throw them away. I can’t imagine what I’ll be like when I have my own kids.’
I hop back onto the stool. ‘Didn’t you and your ex want kids?’
‘We did, but the time was never right.’ Adam pulls a couple of mugs out of a cupboard. ‘We had our degrees, then new careers to forge. It’s quite lucky we didn’t have any, really.’
Adam finishes making the drinks, pouring juice into blue plastic beakers for the boys. He insists they turn the television off and venture outside for some fresh air. Adam’s garden is small but it’s been transformed from the stale beer-smelling yard it once was and is now a clean, inviting space with a small lawn and a paved area with a glass-topped table and chairs. The garden is bordered by a high white fence, giving it a secluded feel. Adam and I sit down with the drinks while the boys take turns on the small plastic slide set up on the grass. I can’t help smiling at the sound of their happy squeals, despite my aversion to young people.
‘I’ll get the football out in a bit and tire them out before I take them back to Melissa,’ Adam says. Melissa is his sister and I’ve heard a lot about her over the last few weeks. She and Adam are obviously close and I feel envious of their relationship, wishing I had a stronger bond with my own siblings. Clara and I sort of tolerate each other now, but only because we’re no longer living under the same roof, while I could quite happily throttle Justin on a daily basis.
‘She’s lucky to have you,’ I tell Adam.
‘She was unlucky to end up with a Jeremy-Kyle-style dad for her kids.’ Adam shakes his head. ‘I don’t understand how he can go about his everyday life without seeing them or even knowing how they are.’
There’s a thud from across the garden. Luke has fallen off the slide, his eyes wide with the shock. It takes him a moment to open his mouth, but when he does he fills the garden with a howl. Isaac hops off the bottom step, rushing to his little brother’s side and crouching beside him, reaching him a split second before Adam does.
‘Hey, matey. What have you done to yourself?’ Adam scoops Luke up from the ground and carries him to his vacated seat, sitting him down gently. ‘Where does it hurt?’
Luke’s howl has reduced to a whimper now, the sound muffled by the fingers he’s posted into his mouth for comfort. He points to his knee with his free hand.
‘Let’s have a look.’ With the gentlest touch, Adam lifts Luke’s leg to check for any damage. There’s a slight graze but the skin isn’t broken and Luke can move the joint without any real discomfort. ‘I think you’re fine, matey. But let’s tickle all the hurt away to be sure.’ Luke howls again, but with pleasure this time, as Adam lunges at him with wriggling fingers. Luke giggles and squirms as Adam tickles his tummy and under his arms. His sore knee is forgotten as he jumps down from the chair and races across the garden, checking behind him and squealing as Adam follows. He catches first Luke and then Isaac, play wrestling them to the ground before tickling them into submission.
‘You’re great with them,’ I say as the boys put their jackets on later, getting ready to go home.
‘They’re great kids.’ Adam zips up Luke’s coat and ruffles his curls. ‘Come on, little monkeys. Time to go and see Mummy.’ The boys race towards the front door. They’ve had a fantastic time with their uncle but they’re eager to get back home to their mum.
Adam drops me off at Ryan’s en route to Melissa’s. I’m praying Ryan doesn’t spot us as we pull up outside the house.
‘Maybe I could come back over after I’ve dropped the boys off,’ Adam suggests as I unbuckle my seatbelt. Luke has fallen asleep in the back while Isaac doesn’t look far from slumber either.
‘I’m going out soon,’ I say, trying not to let my panic show on my face. ‘It’s the pub quiz.’
‘Ah, yes. Of course.’ Adam nods. ‘And there’s no way I can join in? No team that’s missing an expert in Manchester United?’
I shake my head, feeling like a complete cow.
‘And I can’t even watch? I promise to keep quiet.’ I shake my head again. I can’t even speak now, too full of disgrace to form words. ‘Are you ashamed of me or something? Is that why you don’t want me to meet your friends?’
‘No.’ I’m forced into action, desperate for Adam to know that this isn’t the reason at all. Why would I ever be ashamed of Adam? I think he’s amazing, even more so now I’ve spent the afternoon with him and his nephews, finding out who Adam truly is. ‘It’s not you. It’s my friends. They’re a bit funny with me dating.’
The words come tumbling out without giving me the chance to scrutinise them and make sure they make sense.
‘Why?’ Adam, understandably, is confused by my statement.
‘They adored my last boyfriend. They didn’t want us to split up and they’ve never really got over it.’ Where are these words coming from? ‘I need to give them time to get used to the fact I’ve met someone else.’ That sounds pathetic. Really, really pathetic. But I have nothing else.
‘Right.’ Adam, understandably, doesn’t sound too convinced. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow then. Good luck in the quiz.’
I kiss Adam goodbye, mindful of the little people in the back of the car and the possibility of being seen by Ryan. ‘You’ll meet them soon, I promise.’ I climb out of the car, waving back at Isaac who, having perked up, is waving manically at me. Adam lifts his hand before he pulls away from the curb. I head into the house, hoping Ryan doesn’t ask me about my day. All these lies are exhausting.
An Important Announcement
Text Message:
Ryan:
I have an important announcement to make
Delilah:
I’m listening and suitably intrigued
Ryan:
I have just done the biggest poo known to man. Seriously, we need to call someone about this. I’m talking Guinness World Records, national news, Dyno-Rod…
Delilah:
Don’t ever text me again. Also, flush the damn loo!!!
I receive a text message from Clara at seven am on Monday morning, instructing me to be at her place that evening, at seven pm sharp and to bring Ryan. Under no circumstances were we to miss it, the message stated rather brusquely, so here we are, standing in front of Clara’s building, waiting to be buzzed in. With Ryan’s invite, I know I’m not in danger of being set up with Patrick, which is always something to be grateful for.
‘Why do you think she’s summoned us?’ Ryan had asked when I’d conveyed her message that morning.
‘No idea. A couple has probably dropped out of one of her dinner parties.’ I muffled a yawn with my hand. It was too early for this. ‘I can say no if you want.’