If I was a more eloquent man, I’d have come up with something worth your time to read. But we both know finesse isn’t my strong suit. So all I can do is say it again—I’m sorry. I’m sorry, and I meant everything I ever said to you, on the beach and in bed and on that dock, the day you left. If I manage to meet someone half as amazing as you in my next thirty-three years, it’ll be more than I deserve. Though for now, I’m still hopelessly, helplessly in love with you. It hurts like a bitch, but I guess that just proves karma’s for real.
Best of luck with whatever you decide to do with your life. I hope you keep dancing. “Plain old Leigh” dancing on the sand is just about the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, so I hope you let her call the shots from now on. She won’t steer you wrong.
Love (the really painful, torturous kind),
Will
She read the letter again, then set it aside, feeling more confused than ever, but softened. The knot in her chest had been slit, and though her edges were still frayed, she could breathe now. She could think of Will and not feel angry. It wasn’t clear exactly what had settled in to replace the anger, but it hurt far less.
The pendant had grown warm against her palm and she opened her hand to study it. She’d seen plenty like it, hanging in craft stalls in the Bridgetown tourist district, anyone’s for a few dollars. It was just what Will had claimed, a token, but it meant as much as a blue box from Tiffany’s, rattling with diamonds. It meant as much as any mere object could—
Leigh sat up straight. With a bolt of illogical, intuitive clarity, she knew something. She knew what her first new investment had to be.
13
A
NOTHER
GORGEOUS
afternoon
in paradise.
The sun was shining, the breeze cool, the music playing from Will’s radio chirpy and buoyant. Yet he felt like a man apart from all this island cheer, cold in the shadow of his own private cloud cover.
Still, as he surveyed his progress, there was a light glinting at the end of his tunnel.
He downed a liter of water and went back to work, priming the freshly sanded exterior boards he’d replaced.
It was tough, feeling trapped in the middle of this endless project. He had always been built for mobility and whim, not commitment. Harder still was not being able to glance to the water and see
The Passport
bobbing in the waves, promising escape.
But Will’s wings had been clipped for weeks now, and the pain was fading in tandem with his fears that the house might never be done. It might not be a serviceable, licensed bar for months, but the wiring was complete, the top floor nearly ready to inhabit.
Technically, Will had been inhabiting it for the last few weeks, if crashing in a sleeping bag counted. The bedrooms’ furniture had been delivered and assembled that very morning; the bathroom was finished and the kitchen functional. Will’s dad had phoned the previous afternoon to confirm his flight details. One-way ticket to paradise...work-in-progress though paradise might currently be.
The thought put a smile on Will’s face, letting him forget the ache in his heart, for a few moments, anyhow.
All those years he’d spent free of guilt and obligations, his life built around avoiding a debt of conscience, each affair and friendship and promise designed with a ready escape hatch... Leigh had flown away and taken all that simplicity with her, and the hole she’d left felt like a physical wound, ragged and stinging. And it was far more than guilt. It was grief, for having stumbled into something that made the emotional investment so unquestionably worth the risk, only to wreck it all.
Will paused to rub the back of his hand across his forehead, cursing the headache brewing there. He dipped the brush into the primer and swiped it down a bare board, each stroke a tiny step toward doing the right thing. Being the sort of man his father was, maybe becoming the sort of man a woman like Leigh deserved to—
“Captain.”
He jumped and turned, his world flipping upside down in a breath. “Leigh.”
They stood in silence for an endless moment, and Will squinted at her from twenty paces away, hopeful and frightened and confused.
“Are you actually standing there, or have I been breathing paint fumes for too long?”
“Pretty sure I’m standing here. Unless I’ve been breathing too much L.A. smog.” She smiled. “Hi, Will.”
“Hi.” Snapping awake, he set down his brush and walked to her, stopping a few feet away and fighting every physical instinct he had. He wanted to hug her, to hold her...hell, he’d settle for a handshake, even a slap. Anything to prove she was real, close enough to touch. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m not a hundred percent sure.”
“Oh.” Stymied, Will glanced around. He spotted the cooler and folding chair in the shade of the building. “Would you like a beer?”
“Um, sure.”
He headed for the little break area and opened a bottle for her, waving to invite her to have a seat. Will cracked a beer for himself and leaned again the side of the house. Leigh seemed to settle in, attention on her drink for half a minute before she spoke.
“Thank you,” she finally said. “For the agreement you signed, and for keeping quiet. For keeping your promise.”
“Oh. Right. You’re welcome.”
She stared at the sand and grass, stoically sipping, gathering her thoughts. She looked up again and her eyes left Will unable to breathe, dying for whatever words might come next.
“I saw you, on TV,” she said. “Someone interviewed you out here.”
He shook his head, ruing the memory. “You tell them ‘no comment’ sixty times, then suddenly you’re answering questions.”
“I know. It’s that or throw a tantrum. Either way, they always get what they want.”
“I’m sure they edited me to sound like a royal prick. I bet you weren’t too happy to have people think that was the guy you had a fling with.”
Leigh shrugged. “I’m done worrying what people think of me. I mostly felt bad for you.”
“A bit of public humiliation was the least I deserved.”
“I heard you sold your plane.”
He winced. “Yeah.”
“That must have been really hard.”
“It should have been the choice I made months ago, but until you left... It just wasn’t an option before. Screwing up the way I did with you put things in perspective.”
“Oh?”
“You’re right—I loved that plane like a limb, but it’s a selfish kind of love. Considering all the sacrifices my dad made for me, growing up, it’s only fitting.”
“Do you know who bought it?”
He shook his head. “I sold it to a resale dealership. Don’t want to know who’s got their hands all over it now.”
Leigh took a deep drink and addressed his knees. “Anyway. I guess I’ve come to say I forgive you. And I believe you now, that you never intended to profit off what happened. Between us.”
“I’m not sure I deserve that courtesy, certainly not if you flew all the way here to tender it.”
“Forgiveness isn’t a prize, it’s a gift. And I’m choosing to give mine to you.”
She set down her bottle and stood, extending her hand. Will wiped his palm on his shorts and gripped it. The handshake went on for some time, and he couldn’t translate the exact breed of uncertainty that strained her lovely features. Then she smiled, looking embarrassed, and stepped close to hug him. Will accepted the embrace dumbly, hands hovering behind her back. After a moment the shock left him and he squeezed her tightly. In the warmth of her body and the scent of her hair, he relived every minute they’d spent together. They separated after a few seconds, and the awkwardness in the wake of the hug felt good. Honest and real.
“Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.”
She smirked. “So pleased to have earned myself a
wow,
for a change.”
Will sighed, relieved enough to demand some answers. “If you’re not here to smack me, what exactly are you looking for, Leigh? Why’d you come all this way?”
Her body relaxed visibly, and she shuffled sand around with her foot as she spoke. “I’m looking for a sign about what I’m supposed to do next with my life. I think maybe you’re a few steps ahead of me on the journey, so I was hoping for some tips.”
“Sorry to disappoint you, but I have no clue what I’m doing beyond getting this place livable for my dad.”
“Were the proceeds from your plane enough to get everything done?”
He shook his head. “Not even close. But it was capital enough to secure a loan, and I think if I can get the place looking good, with all the utilities and repairs up to code, I stand a chance at putting together a decent business plan and scoring a bit more funding.” He sighed, turning to stare out at the water.
Leigh gave his shoulder a squeeze. “You’re not built for debt, are you?”
“Feels awful.”
“Like an anchor.”
He nodded. “But they call them ‘growing pains’ for a reason. I feel like shit, so I must be making progress.”
The two of them wandered down the beach toward the water, and for a long time they watched the ocean, sipping their beers and shading their eyes from the afternoon sun.
“I got your package,” Leigh said.
“I hope I wasn’t too out of line, sending that when you asked me to leave you alone.”
“It arrived at just the right time, really. And the things you had to say... They were things I needed to hear. And after the dust settled, I
wanted
to hear them, too. So thanks.”
“You’re more than welcome.”
“You know what you said to me,” Leigh murmured, “on the dock?”
He turned to her. “That I was in love with you?”
She met his gaze. “Did you really mean that?”
“I meant it then, and it’s still true.” His chest ached, each and every time he thought of her, of her face when they’d parted. And he thought of her constantly.
Leigh craned her neck to survey the building, and Will sensed she didn’t want to discuss his proclamation any further.
“So. Tell me what’s been happening in your new life, former Miss Movie Star. Have you been letting plain-old-Leigh call some shots?”
She smiled, her attention still on the house. “I have. And I’m proud to say I’ve already made my first investment.”
“Business? Property?”
“Property, I guess.” She dug a folded paper from her back pocket and handed it over. Will unfolded the page and his heart stopped. It was a printout from an auction site, a listing with a photo of
The Passport
. He studied Leigh’s impassive face, wondering what this meant—revenge, ransom, or least likely of all, a gift he didn’t deserve.
“You bought my plane?”
“I did.”
“You planning on getting your license?”
“No. I don’t plan on doing anything with it, except keep it in storage until the day you can afford to buy it back.”
Emotions bubbled up, gratitude and hope and a surge of humbleness that left him speechless for a minute. “What sort of interest do you have in mind?”
“None. I just knew it must be keeping you up at nights, the thought of some other man getting his hands on your precious baby.”
He nodded, but he was still ages from feeling comfortable with the gesture. “I don’t deserve that. I’ve got a hell of a lot of restitution to pay you before I get anywhere
close
to deserving that kindness.”
“I’m thinking of it as an investment in my own faith in human goodness.”
“That’s a lot to bank on a man who hurt you as badly as I did.”
She smiled faintly. “Like I said, I forgive you, Will. I can’t fault you for being shady. I knew that from the first minute I met you, when you asked me for a bribe.”
“Technically, I didn’t ask. You offered.”
She ignored his teasing. “And I fell in love with you, shadiness and all.”
Will’s mind went blank at her words, more valuable than any amount of money, than his plans, than his plane.
She went on in his numb silence. “You screwed up, kinda terribly.”
He nodded.
“But I don’t take it personally anymore. And I believe what you told me, about meaning everything you said to me. Even before you sold your plane and signed those papers, I
wanted
to believe you, but it was too much to hope for, after what my ex did to me. But I think maybe I knew it was true, all along. Then the proof you offered gave me permission to accept it.”
“Oh. Good.”
She grinned, surely in response to the idiotic look on his face.
“Do you...don’t you want to know who it was, who actually reported on you?” He didn’t want to throw Rex under the bus, but if she asked Will wouldn’t lie. He was relieved when she shook her head.
“I know a lot of people would say I’m a doormat for not wanting them hunted down, same as they’d say about me not dragging my ex over the coals.... But I don’t want revenge. I’ll leave all that bitterness to the people who thrive on it. Like my parents. Whoever talked, it doesn’t matter. I know it wasn’t you, and that’s all I care about.”
He glanced at her collar then, at the shining edge of the pendant peeking out. Spotting his gaze, she touched the glass. “Thank you for this, too.”
“It’s not nearly—”
Her fingers on his arm cut him off. “Enough with that. I forgave you already. I didn’t come here for more apologies.”
“What did you come for, then?”
She rubbed her palms together and looked around the beach. “Well, I’d like to know exactly where I’ll be sleeping during this renovation.”
“Sleeping?”
“I have a potential investment to make a decision about,” she said officiously. “I intend to be very hands-on with the project. In fact, after I check out of my hotel, you can tell me where to dump my suitcase and what I can do to start helping.”
Will blinked, too distracted by the happy, hesitant joy rising in his chest to put his thoughts into coherent words. “You can, um... Well, I’ll find you something. But let me show you where you can stay, if you’re hell-bent on slumming it.”
He led her into the gutted building, past the would-be main bar and up the stairs to the second floor. He’d been staying in the room with the widest windows, facing the beach.
Leigh stood in the center of the sunny space, gazing out at the view. “Here’s where I say
wow
.”
He nodded. “I know. This’ll be my dad’s room, when he comes down.”
She turned to meet Will’s eyes. “Do you know when that’ll be?”
“Next Sunday.”
“Exciting.”
“Very. I found a suitable nurse for any unexpected issues, just up the road. But I think the climate alone will do him a world of good.”
“I’ll bet. Cold, icy New York winters...”
“And sweltering, humid summers, yeah. He’s not one to admit being excited about things, but when I talk to him, I can tell he’s dying to get down here. Get started enjoying a proper retirement.” In between complaints about the hassle of getting his apartment cleaned out and the highway robbery also known as his moving service, the old guy’s anticipation had been palpable.
“I’m eager to meet him.”
Her deep, genuine smile made Will blush. How was this actually real, this moment? How could she truly be here, saying these things to him?
He crossed the bare floor, nervous as he reached down and took her hand. She welcomed the gesture, showing no misgivings in those rare gray eyes. Will ached to pick up where they’d left off before he wrecked things, but it might be too bold, too soon—
She did it for him, her free hand cupping his jaw, drawing him down to press his mouth to hers. It wasn’t like those reckless kisses they’d shared the previous month. This one was slower, savoring. Exploratory, as they each remembered how good they were this way. Leigh pulled away far too soon, but the grin on her face warmed him straight through.
“Just like that?” he asked.