The Wedding Wager (McMaster the Disaster)

The Wedding Wager

McMaster the Disaster, Book 3

by

Rachel Astor

Copyright © 2012

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author.

CHAPTER 1

It was like a scene from one of Jake’s movies. Our eyes met from across a crowded room and I could not look away. Even after all this time together, my heart beat faster every time he looked my way. It was like he just… got to me.

He moved slowly across the room in time to the soft music playing in the background, as if planned by a masterful movie choreographer. The set was maybe the most magnificent of all, a lavish downtown high-rise, overlooking the city and all its tiny inhabitants below. Waiters scurried around, offering the finest canapés and making sure the champagne flowed freely.

But this was not a movie.

This was real life.

My life.

It was ridiculous to even think it, really. I mean, McMaster the Disaster standing in this scene, this place, just waiting for her movie star fiancé to make his way to her across a room full of Hollywood royalty, the best New York designers, and models from every country of the world. And it wasn’t just any place. It was
my
place.

Well, soon to be my place anyway.

It was only one of a half-dozen properties we’d soon own together, including the secluded cabin (though it was more mansion than cabin) with its private lake, the winter home in New Zealand, and the ocean-view condo in Hawaii.

When I thought back to just a few months ago, when I’d been picked out of thousands of girls in the Bridesmaid Lotto to be one of socialite Emma Van Horn’s bridesmaids, I couldn’t believe how much my life had changed. Back then I’d been working as a junior copywriter living a boring life, but becoming Emma’s bridesmaid had one even bigger bonus. I got to meet Jake, one of Hollywood’s most popular leading men, and somehow, completely beyond my understanding, he had fallen for me. Ridiculous, clumsy, McMaster the Disaster… me. It wasn’t like he didn’t know about what a mess I was, I mean, after my Disaster Diary—which outlined every embarrassing story in my life—was leaked to the public, the whole friggin’ world knew what a mess I was.

Yet here I stood.

“Having fun?” Jake asked, finally arriving in front of me, wrapping his arms behind me and leaning in for a kiss.

I breathed him in. I breathed life in.

No one person on Earth deserved to be so… blessed.

“How could you not have fun at a party like this?” I asked, still in awe of most of the people who not only were invited, but who actually showed up. I mean, I counted three Oscar winners in one line of sight. “I still can’t believe everyone who’s here.”

Jake smiled easily, as if this occasion were the most natural thing in the world. “Of course they showed. We’re the hottest new Hollywood couple. Where else would they go? This is what they do.”

I wondered if I’d ever feel like one of them. Really feel like I belonged in a crowd like this.

Probably not.

“I just wanted to say hi, I’d better get back out there. These people are like sharks. I swear, some of them are worse than the paparazzi.”

I cringed at the word. “Nothing is worse than the paparazzi.”

Jake chuckled, planting another kiss on my cheek. “Did Jennifer get here yet?”

“I don’t think so, I’m gonna go call her.”

He nodded. “Don’t forget to mingle,” he said, smiling.

Mingle.

Right.

How does one go about mingling with movie stars and models again? I wondered.

I went to the bedroom to grab my cell. On the way a woman who looked very familiar though I had no idea who she was, stopped me.

“Great party Josie,” she said in a thick accent, flashing me a smile that would make anyone blush.

I blinked rapidly, hoping some inkling of just who the heck this person was would hit me. Of course, nothing did.

“I’m sorry,” I said, holding out my hand, “I think I’ve forgotten your name.”

She shook her head. “Oh no, we’ve never met. I’m Istranka, cover of the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition?”

She smiled that sultry smile again and I instantly remembered seeing her on the cover. Of course the swimsuit part of swimsuit edition had apparently been optional, considering the only swimsuit I’d noticed in the picture was hanging on a rock in the background. Of course she was holding her er… assets and the bottom half of her was strategically hidden underwater so nothing was actually exposed, you know, except almost all of her.

“Of course! Istranka!” I said, my voice rising in its inflection as if she were an old friend who I hadn’t seen in years. “It’s great to have you here.”

She leaned in, looking a little nervous. “Do these things ever get any easier?” she whispered.

My fast blinking returned. Did she, the world’s most famous supermodel de jour just ask
me
if parties filled with famous people ever got any easier?

I looked around, making sure she was still talking to me. As off the wall as it seemed, she apparently was; staring at me expectantly, suddenly looking slightly less sultry—only slightly, mind you—than she did nervous. She spun the ring on her pinky around and around.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” she said, looking down, embarrassed. “It’s just that… I’m feeling a little out of place.”

“
You
are? Are you kidding me? I should be the one asking you. You’re the one on the cover of a huge magazine.”

“But you’ve been involved in all this so much longer than me.” She smiled her killer smile again and I couldn’t help but wonder if she had more teeth than the average human. “I thought you could give me a few pointers.”

I shook my head as if coming out of a daze. “I’m so not used to any of this. At least you look like you belong,” I said, smiling back, marveling at the insanity of the whole situation. “I feel like the world’s biggest nerd right now.”

“Oh my God, no,” she said, her eyes going wide. “You look like an old pro at this. You know, except you look a lot more approachable than the rest of these people. That’s why I thought maybe I could talk to you. I feel like I’ve landed on a spaceship or something.”

I giggled. “You look like you’re doing just fine,” I said. “Here, come with me, let’s go sit somewhere and take a load off. All this pretending to be fabulous is exhausting for a disaster like me.”

She smiled even wider, following me out to the balcony where it was a lot quieter, more peaceful.

“It’s all so surreal, isn’t it?” she said, sipping her martini.

I nodded. “You have no idea. I mean, I’m basically famous for being a ridiculous klutz. At least you’re famous for real.”

She shook her head. “For being on the cover of a magazine? No way. I totally lucked into that. I swear, a year ago I was serving food at Pizza Hut in Wyoming.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Sorry,” I said. “I don’t mean to be rude. It’s just that… this is all one big crapshoot isn’t it? I mean, it doesn’t sound like either of us set out to have this life. It’s just so….”

“Amazing,” she finished for me.

“Yes, exactly. Amazing. It’s nice to talk to someone who gets it.”

She nodded, taking another graceful sip of her drink.

We chatted for a while and Jennifer joined us not long after. Istranka and Jen hit it off right away and the rest of the night turned into a bit of a girl’s night out filled with drinks, fashion talk, and of course, the latest celebrity gossip.

It’s funny, you’d think once you were actually a player in the gossip mags you’d lose interest, but it seemed to be the opposite. Knowing that half the stories are based on at least some truth, the fun became guessing which stories were real and which ones were complete and utter lies.

~ ~ ~

I was so not in the mood for my mother the next day. Of course, I had to love her and everything, but sometimes I wished I could just send her off to Siberia. Not that my friend Mattie was much better on that particular occasion.

It was supposed to be such a fun day too. Head out to the cabin at the lake and start serious wedding planning. They threw me off guard by being all nicey-nice at the beginning, each pulling out their dozens of wedding magazines, cake photos, and laptops; their online favorites folder already filled to the brim with links to photographer and flower websites.

They each took a deep breath, with the most cordial of smiles on their faces and waited for the other to begin their ‘presentation.’

Of course, neither of them wanted to go first, apparently hoping to show the other up by making their presentation more dramatic or exciting than the other. There was no way in hell my mother could ever one up Mattie on drama or excitement, so I figured it was only fair that he go first.

He cleared his throat and stood, pulling out a tri-fold presentation board, surprising even my mother with his preparation.

The board was magnificent.

Stunning.

Shocking.

Luckily, he reigned himself in before he suggested something ridiculous like a bubble-wrap dress like the one he’d seen on the runway at New York’s fashion week, which he’d absolutely adored. Thankfully, he knew me a little better than that, not to mention my mother may have fainted dead away.

It was wacky and wild, but there was nothing in his design I didn’t like, the blood red and black flowers, several gorgeous choices of bridesmaid dresses in both black or red complete with miniature top hats or feathers, all the way down to the asymmetrical polka-dot and striped wedding cake, almost like something Tim Burton might design. The sample dress was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, embroidered with black filigree designs, finished off with a fantastic black bow.

My heart raced just looking at the board. I’d always wanted to do something huge and unexpected for a special occasion, to make myself feel like I was fantastically quirky and interesting, like I’d always wanted to be.

As Mattie sat down with a satisfied look, I could not wipe the smile off my face.

Of course, my mother couldn’t wipe the shock that covered hers with her mouth hanging open and eyes as wide as two full moons.

“Dear God,” she whispered, putting her hand slowly to her mouth.

“Mother!”

She cleared her throat, composing herself, standing slowly to take her turn.

As expected, my mother’s presentation was somewhat more traditional. The flowers were the most amazing things I’d ever seen, giant topiaries in off whites and light pinks, draped with pearls and glimmering jewels. Again, there were several choices for bridesmaid dresses, but in varying shades of pinks. She even shocked me with one somewhat outside of the box idea (at least for her) where as the bride, I would wear the softest pink and my bridesmaids would wear the white.

The cake was traditionally tiered and decorated with cherry blossoms and pink champagne would sit on every table.

It was very princess fairytale come true, but with none of the cheese factor you might expect.

As my mother sat down, she was also rather satisfied, watching the look on my face.

Because damn it, I loved hers too.

There was no way this was going to end well.

I was totally screwed.

“I love them both.”

With those four little words the world, as I knew it, ended. Well, okay, any peace and tranquility I’d hoped to have for the next several months ended anyway.

“There is no way any daughter of mine is going to walk down the aisle in a doll-sized top hat for Pete’s sake,” my mother yelled.

At the exact same time, Mattie was saying, “Don’t you even know Josie at all? Do you really think she’d be satisfied with the same wedding as every other person on Earth?”

Jennifer tried to be the voice of reason. “They’re both really nice,” she said loudly, though her volume was no match for Mom or Mattie.

I sat and said nothing, my head swirling.

I needed a break.

Actually, I needed a drink.

A really strong drink.

CHAPTER 2

Several minutes and two drinks later, I stepped out the back door of Jake’s cabin into the giant yard filled with flowers and trees, which led up to the lake. Our lake. The lake where we’d had our first date.

Life was perfect.

“Oh no you didn’t!” Mattie said, screeching through the silence and putting up a talk-to-the-hand gesture, the other hand on his hip.

“Oh yes. Yes, I very much did,” my mother said, widening her sensible high-heeled stance, putting both hands on her hips.

Of course, perfection did have a way of cracking into a million little pieces, didn’t it?

I honestly didn’t even know how it happened, but somehow, Mattie and my mother both decided that they would be the one to plan my wedding. I mean, I may have sort of forgotten to tell them otherwise when they’d each come to me with plans galore, enthusiastically suggesting exactly how my big day should be, but I swear, I never promised anything.