Authors: Thomas Shawver
If the axiom is true that marriages are best made of dissimilar material, the union of Emery and Natalie promised to be everlasting. Still, Josie tells me I shouldn't have said it at their reception. I reminded her that wit is an essential element when giving the Best Man speech.
“There's a thin line between wit and insolence,” my beloved said.
“It got a laugh.”
“
A
laugh. One. From Natalie, not Emery.”
“I rest my case.”
“Oh, Bevan. You may have grown tall, but you've yet to grow up.”
I took that as a compliment.
It seemed like everyone in the Irish community had nothing better to do that August afternoon than come down to the Celtic Center to watch a Jack Mormon exchange vows with a lapsed Catholic. Kansas City paddies weren't the only ones in attendance, however.
There was the usual contingent of Riverrun Irregulars and a scrum's worth of ruggers; the latter enticed by rumors of free food, booze, and sprightly Irish dancers. Joe Tuitama arrived with a basket of fruit and fifteen flower-bedecked relatives who promptly settled in a circle and chattered among themselves in Samoan. Opposite them in a far corner of the library under a Celtic cross, Buford Higgins and Trooper Buzard yukked it up over God knows whatâprobably the $900 traffic ticket I had yet to pay, pending appeal. It seems Buford had once taken Lenny Buzard upon his wing when the trooper was just a sixteen-year-old hell-raiser who'd spent time in juvenile detention. Good thing, too, since it was Buford who confirmed Josie's bona fides to Buzard when she flagged down the latter's patrol car for help.
Emery's parents had returned to Utah, but not before giving the couple a new convertible as a wedding present.
Not surprisingly, Emery's other relatives were conspicuously absent. Uncle Lamar had died from loss of blood soon after being scooped off the altar at Adam-ondi-Ahman. As for the Danite boys, Seth and Jacob sat in the Daviess County jail awaiting trial for kidnapping, murder, child endangerment, and a dozen other counts. They were represented by a public defender, no one in their extended families wishing or able to pay for their defense.
It's not as if they were missed for the wedding.
At one o'clock a bell was rung and the crowd took their seats. Sandra Epstein played “Red is the Rose” on her flute as Natalie and Emery walked hand in hand to the front of the room.
On the one day when most women indulge in excessive dressâjewelry, makeup, and fancy laceâNatalie had chosen the opposite. With her arm encased in a fiberglass cast, it would have looked ridiculous to parade in a traditional flowing gown. But I think she would have chosen this understated look no matter what. It fit the change in her.
The only adornments she wore were tiny, imperfect natural pearl earrings. Her pale blue dress with its subtle V-neck and delicate cap sleeves fit her tall, lissome figure beautifullyâBarbara Scanlon, a seamstress in Parkville, had personally seen to that. Natalie's auburn hair lay curtained over her shoulder in a gentle braid. Her skin was radiant and fresh, the freckles across the bridge of her nose adding a charming definition to her rosy complexion. There was no flamboyant nail polish todayâ just simple, open hands reaching out to Emery.
As stunning as her outfit was, the feature most striking was her expression of complete and utter joy.
The ceremony conducted by a Unitarian minister was as touching and dignified as it was brief. In contrast to the radiant beauty standing beside him, however, Emery looked like death warmed over. It wasn't because of his injuriesâhe was close to a full recoveryâbut from the sheer horror of being the center of attention in front of two hundred people.
When I mentioned this to Josie, she whispered, “On the contrary; I find such diffidence extremely attractive in a man, particularly one so bright. I also suspect a sexual dynamo lurks beneath that shy facade.”
She followed that with a dart aimed at my egoâsomething about “envy being another form of praise.” Then, as if to prove her point, when the “I dos” were exchanged and the pronouncing done, Emery swept his bride into his arms and planted a kiss on her that made even me blush.
Some people have no sense of shame.
While Josie and I stood in line for wedding cake, a ruddy-faced man with a chest like a pouter pigeon and enormous hands introduced himself to us. His name was Ezekiel Larsen, the caretaker at Adam-ondi-Ahman, whom Emery had made a special point to invite.
“It grieved me to learn of the trouble you experienced on our grounds,” Larsen said, with only the slightest emphasis on the “our.” He reached into his pocket and handed me his business card. “Please consider a return visit under more favorable circumstances. We try our best to maintain a tranquil atmosphere of peace and quiet reflection.”
Voices don't always match faces, but Larsen's did. Both were warm and inviting.
After thanking him and apologizing for whatever part we played in bringing notoriety to such a sacred place, he assured us the Church was grateful that we had thwarted an unspeakable crime.
“By the way,” Josie added, “we were impressed with the young missionary we met when we first arrived at the property. She was obviously dedicated to her job and very helpful to us.”
Larsen looked perplexed. “She? You mean the lad, don't you? Willy Tanner, from Utah?”
“Oh, no,” responded Josie. “It was a young woman, absolutely. She had lovely blond hair tied back with a red cloth and was picking up litter along the gravel road. I distinctly remember her long blue skirt, which struck me as a little odd for such a hot day; but she looked very official, if not somewhat distant.”
I chimed in: “It was getting dark and she cautioned that the gates would soon close. But when I asked where we could find Tower Hill she seemed to take on a different persona and didn't hesitate to give directions. She even advised there would be a full moon that night.”
The caretaker's eyes narrowed.
“I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about. We've had no women on mission this yearâ only Willy and another young man who didn't start until this month.”
The color rose in his cheeks. “Furthermore,” he said, his voice rising, “I'm certain that Willy Tanner would
never
have brought a female guest to the property during his mission service. We have very strict rules about that. It wouldn't be appropriate.”
Josie and I exchanged looks. There was no point in trying to convince him.
Starting to reach for a slice of cake to give to him, Josie asked, “Chocolate or vanilla?”
“Neither, thank you,” he replied, patting his ample stomach. “Now, if you folks will excuse me, I'm off to congratulate the newlyweds.”
Josie picked up a piece of vanilla after he'd gone.
“What just happened here?” she asked. “I remember that girl as if I saw her yesterday.”
“Beats me,” I said. “All I know is that we could use a drink.”
“You go ahead,” Josie told me. “The last thing I want is for my mind to get any fuzzier.”
Wandering to the bar, I saw Renata Wormington, the curator at the Spencer Library. It was the first time I'd seen her since we'd met at the scene of the fire in Lawrence.
She thanked me for helping recover at least some of the books Mr. Tate stole from Eulalia Darp, adding, “God only knows what he sold over the years.”
“I was just trying to stay alive. What did you find at his place?”
“Some interesting books were packed in his tiny apartment, but few were particularly outstanding. Most involved Native American history. The values ranged from five hundred to a thousand dollars, with a few notable exceptions. There was a very nice two-volume, third edition of Manners,
Customs, and Conditions of the North American Indians
by George Catlin, for example, and a nice association copy of
The Vanishing American
by Zane Grey, which the author had inscribed to his niece. Tate even kept a Chippewa Bible. I wonder how things might have been different if Eula had shown him more appreciation.”
Remembering how the evil brute had ordered me to dig my own grave, I thought Ms. Wormington was being a tad generous. But it didn't seem the right moment to suggest Stormin' Norman was the last person to deserve a helping hand.
“I'm glad what survived will go to the Spencer,” I said instead.
“Yes, we should be grateful for that.” She sighed. “But it tears me apart thinking of how much was lost in the fire.”
After the barkeep had poured our two pints, Renata suggested that I join her in a corner.
“I heard you recovered the inscribed
Book of Mormon.
Congratulations.”
“Thanks. I was certain it had been lost in the blaze.”
“What does Emery Stagg intend to do with it now?”
“He's agreed to sell it to the Harold Lee Library at BYU for two hundred thousand dollars. He feels it's the least he can do for the trouble his family has caused.”
“He's not exactly giving it away.”
“Yes and no. He and Natalie are keeping ninety percent, but giving $20,000 to the Celtic Heritage Center.”
“What about your commission?”
I smiled. “Renata, after all that's happened, that's the last thing I care about having. Call it my wedding gift to Natalie and Emery.”
“Well, maybe I can add a little more sunlight to your day.”
I held her pint while she fussed around in her purse, finally pulling out an envelope.
“What's that?”
“The copy of a letter I sent along with Eulalia's endorsement for your admittance to the ABAA.”
“Eulalia's endorsement?”
“Yes. The dear old thing gave it to meâwhile asking me to endorse you as wellâthe day before she died. You know how meticulous about those things she was. You'll be getting official notification from the Board next week.”
And that kind of news had me floating on a cloud into the main room where Aidan Delahunt was serenading the newlyweds with a beautiful rendition of Van Morrison's “
Irish Heartbeat
.”
I found Josie, held her by the waist, and together we mouthed the words sung by the troubadour:
“
Oh, won't you stay,Stay a while with your own ones
Don't ever stray
Stray so far from your own ones
'Cause the world is so coldâ¦
”
The song ended with champagne and all manner of toasts and congratulations, but before people began filing out, Emery walked onto the low stageâthe very one upon which Liam O'Halloran had danced his last.
For a moment, he appeared discombobulated. His head dipped and his thoughts seemed to desert him. After gazing at the throng for an interminable minute, however, he summoned Natalie and Claire to his side. Clearing his throat, he thanked everyone for coming, and proceeded to say what was in his heart to the hushed crowd:
“Getting what you most desire is never easy. You constantly explore options that you think you need to obtain happinessâa good career, a fine house, a belief in something. But what we truly want visits us only in our dreams⦔
Emery seemed to draw life from his words. After pausing to catch his breath, he resumed in a voice that had deepened and grown stronger.
“I always yearned for a family to call my own. For one reason or another, however, it eluded me. Fulfillment, I thought, must lie elsewhere. Years passed and the dream was replaced by a far less noble obsession. I'd forgotten it, but the dream did not forget me.”
Then, spreading his arms around his new wife and stepdaughter, Emery bestowed a blessing upon them that managed to clog the tear ducts of even the ruggers in the audience.
“Natalie, Claire,
mo chuisle, mo chroi, is tu mo ghra.”
Irish for “my pulse, my heart, I love you.”
“What did I tell ya?” Josie said, her voice quavering as we headed from the Center to our car. “Natalie's the lucky one.”
September arrived and the Aspen Ruggerfest loomedânot to mention our own upcoming nuptials.
All things considered, life was looking rosier than a Laplander's bottom. Not only had everyone I cared about survived, but Emery Stagg's rare Mormon book had been recovered, along with my reputation. I was about to become a member of the Antiquarian Book Association of America with all the honors and privileges that entailed, and I wasn't required to sell a fourth of Riverrun's inventory overnight just to stay afloat.
And lest one forget the complication involving my familial relations, even that seemed to have worked itself out.
Surprised as Alice Winter was to discover that my daughter Annie batted for the other teamâAlice's phrase, not mineâshe was thrilled that the kids could remain close and still keep Mark's paternity a secret. It didn't matter that maintaining that last fantasy was like putting retreads on tires sure to come off five thousand highway miles later; it satisfied everyone for the time being.
“Yes, life is good,” I muttered in our upstairs bedroom as I packed cleats, mouth guard, surgical tape, Icy Hot gel, shorts, and Vaseline into my rugby kit bag.
Josie looked up from her suitcase that held an assortment of nylon stockings, lacy silk undergarments, and a bridal garter.
“What'd you say, darling?”
“I was thinking how lucky we are.”
“We sure are.” She stuffed a pair of hiking boots next to her high-heeled shoes, then asked: “Did you confirm the time with the minister?”
“Not to worry, my love. Reverend Alexander has promised to officiate right after our first match.”
“But he's a tighthead prop. Oh, sweetie, promise me he won't be all bloody.”
“We'll hose off together. I promise.”
“Gee, thanks.”
After checking the tickets for when our flight was to depart for Aspen, she curled up on the bed.
“Michael?”
“Yes?”
“I got you a wedding present.”
“Ahh, babe! I thought we agreed to wait until after the wedding to exchange gifts.”
“I know, but I couldn't wait to surprise you. Anyway, this one's mostly for Riverrun.”
“Okay. What is it?”
“I'll tell you, but first, is there anything you're keeping from me?”
That sure came out of left field. Planting an angelic smile on my face, I searched my memory bank for any major transgressions that I'd failed to mention. Naturally, I came up empty.
“I told you about fathering Mark as soon as I learned of it,” I finally answered. “And while I tend to cheat on crossword puzzles, I certainly never considered murdering you. So, no, I don't have any⦔ I caught myself before I said skeletons in my closet. “Why do you ask?”
“It sure would be nice not to be surprised after our marriage.”
“Couldn't agree more,” I said, relaxing. “Now, what did you get me?”
“You know how you're always complaining about not having enough table space in the shop's basement storeroom?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, I found a great workstation at IKEA and, knowing how you hate to assemble things, I hired their people to install it. They'll even take away the old file cabinetâ”
“Huh?” I gasped. “When are they coming?”
“Tomorrow, after we've gone to Aspen. I left word with Deirdre Lescalle to let them in.”
“Butâ¦but what about all the important stuff that's in the cabinet?”
“There was only a 2010 sales ledger, three years of canceled checks, the box of staples⦔
My mind whirled. “You mean you've been in it?”
“I'm afraid so.” She wrinkled her nose and held up the key to the file cabinet. “You see, I've been a bit of a sneak, too. That was
my
little secret I wanted to share.”
We grabbed a bottle of Irish whiskey from the kitchen and drove straight to Riverrun and the storeroom. Before opening the filing cabinet I turned to Josie.
“Cripes, what you must think of me. Do you think I'm crazy?”
“A little,” she said, kissing my forehead. “But what happened to you in New Zealand was enough to upset anyone's sense of equilibrium. I only wish you'd thought that I was all you needed to get right again.”
“I know that now. Please believe me.”
“Of course I do. Now formally introduce me to the Captain, so we can be done with it.”
I opened the filing cabinet, removed the bag, and placed it on the table.
“If it's okay with you,” Josie pleaded, “don't uncover him. Seeing him once was enough for me.”
I had no problem with that. Captain Cook's remains, like Hungarian wine, had not traveled well.
“Well, then,” I said, pouring the whiskey in two coffee cups, “here's a toast to an old friend tried and true. Sláinte!”
We gulped our drinks and then I wrapped the skull in cellophane bubble wrap and sealed it in a box cushioned with Styrofoam. After inserting a typed note explaining as much as the circumstances warranted without identifying us, I addressed it to Solomon Pualinui, a modern descendant of King Kalani'opu'u in the town of Kealakekua Bay, Kona Coast, Hawaii.
He would know to return it to the cliffs above the Captain's beloved sea.