Authors: Iris Gower
He looked up at her, his face suddenly covered in a sheen of sweat. ‘It’s no good, Cathie, we are not going to manage it.’ He bent his head. ‘Oh, God, let me die in dignity, don’t make this torture go on.’
‘Wait here, Dad.’ Catherine left him propped against the iron bedpost and hurried to the top of the stairs. ‘Liam, could you give me a hand up here?’ She kept her voice calm so as not to worry her mother. The door downstairs opened and Liam was taking the stairs two steps at a time.
Together, they accomplished the difficult task and afterwards, as Liam carried the chamber away, Catherine fetched warm water and bathed her father as though he was a baby.
‘You shouldn’t be doing this, my little love,’ Jamie was exhausted, his face grey; ‘you are a child, it’s not fair on you.’
‘Don’t talk rubbish, Dad!’ Catherine tweaked his nightshirt into place and covered him with the blankets. ‘I’m a big, strong farm girl and if I can’t give my father a helping hand with what comes naturally then there’s something wrong with me.’
‘Now,’ she looked down at him, ‘I shall bring you a nice hot cup of tea with plenty of sugar, just as you like it.’
‘Forget tea,’ Jamie said with a show of his old spirit, ‘I think I deserve a drink of something stronger after what you and that nephew of mine have just put me through.’
‘What about a little drop of brandy then, Dad?’ she winked at him. ‘But don’t go telling Mam and getting me into trouble, mind.’
Downstairs, she washed her hands in the water from the kettle and then poured her father a liberal measure from the brandy bottle.
‘What’s that?’ Fon asked without any real curiosity.
‘Never you mind, it’s a little treat for my dad, he’ll sleep tonight, have a good rest.’ She paused, her hand on her mother’s shoulder, ‘A little drop of brandy can’t do him any harm now, Mam.’
Later, when Fon had gone to bed, Catherine sat in the kitchen with Liam and she was grateful to him for the companionable silence they shared. The coals shifted and sparks shot up from the cinders in the pan beneath the fire.
‘Time to go to bed, I suppose,’ Catherine said softly. She looked at Liam. ‘Mam is right, I don’t know what we’d do without you.’
‘It’s the least I can do.’ Liam smiled his slow smile and rose to his feet. ‘Right then, bed it is and don’t worry about your dad’s ablutions in the morning, from now on, I’ll see to that.’
He knelt and riddled the coals in the fire. ‘I’ll be out of bed early, I always am, it’s the way of farm life, it becomes a habit, so don’t worry.’ He glanced at her over his shoulder. ‘Go on, get your rest, you’ve got shadows under your eyes as deep as the folds in the mountains of Mourne.’
But when she was lying in bed with the moon stretching fingers of light across the floor and bed, Catherine was unable to sleep. She thought of Boyo and, for the first time since their relationship began, she felt a tinge of resentment against him; she was hurt and angry that he couldn’t be with her at this time when she most needed him. It was a long time before she closed her eyes.
The day of the fair dawned bright and sunny. Catherine rose from bed feeling a lifting of her spirits, Liam was taking her to town. For an hour or two, she could forget her father’s sickness, forget her mother’s haunted eyes and just enjoy being young and healthy.
Liam and Fon were already in the kitchen when she descended the stairs. Liam was sitting at the table and Fon was serving the breakfast, she was actually smiling. ‘Liam’s seen to your dad,’ she said eagerly, ‘and we both think he looks a little better today.’
Catherine felt pity drag at her. She met Liam’s eyes and she knew they shared the knowledge that Jamie O’Conner would never get better.
‘I’m glad he’s having a good day.’ She kissed her mother’s cheek. ‘Anything I can do?’
‘Aye, pour some more tea, I’m parched.’
‘So am I,’ Liam said. ‘I thought you’d never get out of bed and do some work down here in the kitchen.’
‘Work, that’s all I ever do,’ Catherine returned his banter. ‘Put upon by my cruel family I am.’
‘My heart bleeds for you,’ Liam said dryly and Catherine smiled at him. She was growing fond of this cousin of hers.
The morning was a busy one, the usual chores had to be done and though Liam had hired four labourers to work the farm, he was still needed to supervise. It was late afternoon by the time Catherine climbed into the trap beside him and headed towards Swansea.
The sun was high above, warm and comforting, it was good to be alive. Catherine had become very much aware of her own mortality lately, her father’s sickness had made her realize how uncertain life could be. She breathed deeply, how lucky she was to be able to enjoy the sunshine.
‘Was Dad really feeling better this morning? Is he having a good day?’
‘He is.’ Liam smiled down at her. ‘He’s got the fighting spirit of the Irish in him, hasn’t he?’
‘I know but last night he was so sad, so weary, he just wanted to die.’
‘Well today is a new day,’ Liam said emphatically, ‘and right now, you and me are going to enjoy it.’
‘I feel as excited as a child.’ Ellie smiled up at her husband and Daniel bent and kissed the tip of her nose. ‘It’s so long since I’ve been to a fairground and more importantly, so long since I’ve visited Swansea.’
‘And we are going to ride in a grand carriage,’ Daniel said, with a gleam in his eye. ‘It’s a fine thing when your wife knows so many influential people.’
‘It’s only Boyo and Bethan we’re going with,’ Ellie said reproachfully, ‘and Boyo is an old friend, isn’t he? Anyone would think I was a social climber.’
‘Ah, but Boyo’s wife is county, you know.’ Daniel adopted a heavy attitude and stared down at her with a long face. ‘It is not often that a poor cleric and his wife have the pleasure of travelling in style with the toffs.’
Ellie laughed. ‘I suppose I was considered a toff, once before … well, it’s a long time ago now.’
‘I was forgetting’, Daniel teased, ‘that my wife was born to a rich family herself and was once owner of
Glyn Hir
tannery, a woman of great fortune.’ He drew her close. ‘A woman who gave it all up for me and into the bargain made a young man very rich and very happy.’
‘The tannery was rightfully his,’ Ellie said, touching her husband’s cheek. ‘Boyo has done well with what I gave him, he has made himself a much bigger fortune than he started with; all credit to him.’
The bell rang sharply and Ellie heard the maid cross the hall and swing back the arched door of the vicarage. Then the room seemed full with Boyo’s tall frame blotting out the light from the window and Bethan coming forward to kiss Ellie’s cheek.
‘You are looking well,’ Ellie said admiringly, ‘approaching motherhood seems to suit you.’
Bethan’s face was suddenly transformed, filled with light. She ran her hand over the curve of her belly and her eyes filled with tears. ‘I know, I’m so happy. I can’t believe it has happened, after all I’m not a young woman any more.’
‘Nonsense!’ Ellie protested. ‘You are a woman in your prime, you look beautiful.’
Boyo hugged Ellie and she looked closely into his face, realizing that he was not as happy as a man about to become a father should be. Had the shadow in the back of his eyes anything to do with the O’Conner girl? Rumour had it that the pair were lovers, still, it was none of her business.
‘Come along then,’ Daniel said, ‘let’s get to this fair before it closes, shall we?’
‘Forgive my husband’s sarcasm.’ Ellie would have liked to link arms with Bethan but there was something about the older woman that forbade familiarity.
As the grand, gleaming carriage bounced along the lanes towards Swansea, Ellie felt a renewed sense of excitement. It was so long ago that she had lived there, had laughed and cried as she sat on the sands of Swansea Bay and looked out at Mumbles Head. She had known many joys and many sorrows while she lived at Swansea and there, she reminded herself, she had met Daniel. She glanced at him, resisting the urge to touch his cheek. Daniel had loved her in spite of her strange past, loved her even though she had been a mistress to one rich man and then a wife to another. And he had made her so happy. She reached out her hand and slipped it into his and he looked down at her and smiled. Ellie became aware that Bethan was looking at her with something like envy in her face and, quickly, she withdrew her hand as though she was a child caught out doing something wrong. Once at the fair, Ellie would make sure that she and Daniel had time to wander around on their own, for somehow, something about Bethan Hopkins made her feel uneasy.
The fairground was opposite the beach and the crowds milled across from one side of the road to the other, enjoying the salt breezes on the shore as well as the crowded sideshows of the fair.
‘Let me buy you some ribbons.’ Liam thrust his hand into his pocket and took out some coins. A man standing listlessly against the side of one of the booths snapped to attention, a smile crossing his toothless mouth as he held out a handful of brightly coloured ribbons.
‘A green one, I think.’ Liam selected a colour and when he had paid the man he smiled down at Catherine. ‘Turn around then, let’s fasten this in your red curls. It will make you look very fetching, better than the smart ladies from the big houses.’
Catherine indulged him and felt him lift the thickness of her hair from her neck. She was about to ask him to be quick when suddenly, coming towards her, was Boyo with his wife clinging to his arm. It was easy to see the soft swell of her stomach and suddenly Catherine felt sick with jealousy. Until now she had not thought of Boyo lying with his wife, making love to her. She knew it happened, of course, but now she was faced with the proof of it and she wanted to cry.
Liam, whether by design or accident, bent at that moment to touch his lips to her neck. Catherine didn’t move but she saw Boyo’s face darken with anger.
It was as though some devil had taken hold of Catherine as she faced her lover, she wanted to hit out at him, to hurt him as she was hurt. He looked down at her and then at Liam, but it was Bethan who spoke.
‘Miss O’Conner, isn’t it? I remember you arriving at my house that time, mud-stained and dishevelled, I felt so sorry for you.’ She smiled and it was clear her words were calculated to embarrass Catherine.
‘No need to feel sorry for me,’ she said, ‘I’m young and strong, you see.’ She saw Bethan flush at the intended insult to her age.
‘This is my cousin Liam from Ireland.’ Catherine hugged Liam’s arm to her side and stared Boyo in the face defiantly. ‘He’s handsome, don’t you agree, Boyo?’
There was an awkward silence and then Bethan’s face seemed to change, her eyes glittered and her mouth was twisted. ‘I hate you!’ The words came out so low Catherine wondered if she had heard aright.
‘You could have any man you wanted,’ Bethan said, her voice harsh, ‘couldn’t you leave me with the only one I will ever want?’
The two women looked at each other and it was Catherine who looked away first.
‘Come on, Liam,’ she said, her head high, ‘we are here to enjoy ourselves after all.’ She glanced at Boyo, his face was set and expressionless.
She felt her cheeks burn as she turned away from the raucous noise of the fair and half-stumbled across the road, stepping blindly over the tracks of the Mumbles railway before falling onto the soft sand.
‘That was a nasty encounter.’ Liam sank down beside her. ‘I felt almost sorry for Hopkins back there. Two she-cats spitting over him, how he must have burned with embarrassment.’
‘Liam!’ Catherine said aghast. ‘Is that what it seemed like to you? Was I that awful?’ She covered her face with her hands. ‘I know I was, I’m a bitch, Boyo will never forgive me.’
Liam drew Catherine against him. ‘There, the man loves you, anyone with half an eye can see that. But then, so do I and I, my dear Catherine, am free, I have no wife and child hanging on my coat-tails.’
Catherine felt tears burn her eyes, what a mess she was in, how unhappy she was. And all the time she was playing the fool with a married man, her father was lying sick unto death wanting only a respectable marriage for her.
‘Take me home, Liam, will you?’ He held her hand as he led her away from the bay and towards the place where he had tethered the horse. He lifted her into the trap and climbed into the seat beside her.
‘Right, madam, home it is.’ He clucked softly and the horse jerked the trap into motion. Catherine closed her eyes and then opened them quickly again as the picture of Boyo with Bethan on his arm came into her mind.
As the horse and trap moved through the streets of town and out towards Honey’s Farm, Catherine felt a sense of despair. This had been a bad day and somehow, she felt, it could only get worse.
Hari Grenfell walked slowly across the road towards the beach. The sun was high in an azure sky, the sea lapped the shore with sparkling fingers of foam. It was a day to rejoice in being alive.
She had just taken tea with Boyo Hopkins’s wife; the invitation had come as a surprise but Hari was glad she had accepted it. Bethan had shown an insight into Hari’s financial problems that was remarkable. She had made very good suggestions for cost-cutting and she had volunteered additional funding should Hari need it. Bethan Hopkins was an astute woman, she ran her own business very successfully: an old coaching inn now turned into a hotel with a splendid view over the sea.
Hari stood at the slip and looked out across the bay, enjoying the sound of the sea washing the shore and the seagulls calling overhead. Behind her, near the park, waited the cab to take her home but Hari had felt the need to be alone for a while.
Careless of her good worsted skirt, she sank onto the sand. The salt air was crisp, clean, the sky was a blue arc which met the sea on the horizon and merged into shimmering gold where the sun touched the water. Had she missed all this beauty before? She had certainly never seen it with the painful clarity she did now. Perhaps being in the same circumstances as she’d been at the start of her career gave her a clearer vision.
But she was not really beginning again. Now she had a fine reputation, a supportive husband and the backing of reliable business people, such help had been beyond her in her early days. Now she had resources she did not have when young, a property that would bring her in money, friends who were with her all the way in this new enterprise.